2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Genraku]

Wynne: What avernus did was wrong, he did blood magic we must punish him!

Me: But he gave me bloo--Oh look a book!

Wynne: Don't think that will work on Me. I won't forget this!

Me: *mumbles* and I won't care..

Wynne: What was that?

Me: Oh hush already. You'll forget this soon enogh,

Wynne: But... blood magic!

Me: I specced you into it last time..

Wynne: Impossible! I would never!

Me: For the love of crap... Oh look a book!

Wynne: Don't think that will work on-- Oh is that the Rose of Orlais? I've always wanted to read it.. what were we talking about?

Me: We were walkign out the door quickly.

[DAEola]

Memengwa wrote...

In camp

Me: Soo, how would you like to join me in my tent?
Alistair: Your tent?... Ah!.. I know most guys would probably jump....
Me: Gaah... *give him a statuette*
Alistair: For me? Really?
Me: How about now?
Alistair: I don't know if I'm ready for that. It's a big step.
Me: You'd rather Morrigan is your first?
Alistair: What?!
Me: Never you mind. Just gimme the rose and get it over with.
Alistair: I don't know....
Me: You know the one you've been thumbing since Lothering.
Alistair: ... what you're....
Me: You know, the beautiful thing among such dispair and ugliness...
Alistair: ...talking about...
Me: Makes you think of me, and I totally see you that way too.
Alistair: Now you're just making things up.
Me: Fine! Have it your way. If anyone is looking for me I'll be with Zevran getting an Antivan massage. The one you can only learn in an Antivan **** house.

Funny, I had a similar exchange last night.

Me: Soo, how would you like to join me in my tent?
Alistair: I'm just not... ready yet
Me: *plies him with a couple bottles of cheap booze*
Alistair: Um, thanks?
Me:  Hmm, you do look a little more inspired than a moment ago... still nothing? Not even a kiss? *bats eyelashes*
Alistair: Did I ever tell you about the Grey Warden from the Anderfells? Big burly guy... 
Me: Sorry, I'm saving the expensive booze for someone else. You can't have it no matter how cute you are.

[Recidiva]

"The Morning After"



Me: *sigh*

Alistair: What troubles you, my love?

Me: Well...today we go visit your sister.

Alistair: That's wonderful, Goldanna deserves a warning for the blight to come.

Me: Yup. It's a treat.

Alistair: We're going to be a family!

Me: Aaaand. The game should end right here. Buuut it doesn't. Hokay. *throws coffee into the fire* Okay. Say "Your desire is my command" one more time.

Alistair: But it is!

Me: Uh huh. Yup, I know.

Alistair: I can't wait for today to happen. I have a good feeling about this.

Me: Well, that makes one of us. But then we're going to go visit Sophie. So that's your last bit of fun for...well...ever.

Alistair: I'm so happy I could dance!

Me: I swear as the Maker is my witness, you're living this time. I do love you. *kisses him on the cheek*

Alistair: You're so good to me.

Me: Being good sucks.

Alistair: Hah. "That's what she said."

[sagevallant]

Alistair: What? I'm not going with you to fight Archdemon? Any particular reason why?



Me: You're not getting out of your marriage to Anora that easily. Leliana and Morrigan are MINE, and I'll die to make sure you don't get them. Wait, that doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?



Alistair: Right, I'm off then. I'll be drinking on the remains of someone's house while you're being devoured. Have fun!



Me: Whatever.



Morrigan: What? After all this you're leaving me behind?



Me: Stop me if I'm wrong, but your little godbaby ritual doesn't work if you're dead, right? No knocked up witch means no baby means my dumb ass dies with the Archdemon. So, no, you're not coming with me. If I could stuff you in an iron box for Sten to carry around, I would.I want to LIVE. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for battle. When the werewolves get here, ask them to NOT eat our soldiers. kthxbai.

[mousestalker]

Me: Congratulations to you, Alistair on your wedding. And just to show that there are no hard feelings, I'm giving you both the old Arl of Denerim's house as wedding present.

Alistair: That's so thoughtful. You shouldn't have!

Me: Mind if I show you around? It's a lovely house. I've had some improvements made. Both Vaughan and Howe were messy housekeepers.

Alistair: No wall hangings?

Me: All the walls have been freshly repainted with easy to clean latex paint. I took all the carpet up and installed tile floors, with drains every ten feet. I know red isn't in this year, but I thought the rust colour was the practical choice.

Alastair: How.... convenient.

Me: Over here is the main dining room. That's the spot where I killed the guard with a thrown dagger. Around the corner is the main entrance. We're having the dents that Ser Cauthrien's sword made filled. Down the hall here is the master bedroom. We've removed most of Vaughan's blood from his decapitation, but those yellow and rust spots just won't come off of the ceiling. Through here is a convenient staircase to the dungeons and basement.

Me: The basement is completely finished now. I've had the floors tiled as well and they also have drains in every room and hallway. You'd have had to redo them anyway, Howe's bodily fluids stained so badly that they couldn't be removed. Anyway, that's the tour. I hope you will be as happy here as I have been.

Alistair: Are you sure you aren't still angry?

Me: Of course not. If you ever need anything, just remember the Alienage is but a knife throw away.

Modifié par mousestalker, 03 décembre 2009 - 09:09 .

[mysticforce42]

*at Camp*



Me: So, Sten my man, tell me about your people.

Sten: No.

Me: Surely there are some interesting anecdotes you can share with me? 
Nuggets of wisdom, perhaps?

Sten: Besides the Elves one?

Me: Yes, besides that one.

Sten: Ok. Fine.

Me: Yes?

Sten: I was once asked a question.

Me: Yes?

Sten: By my father.

Me: ... go on.

Sten: He asked, "Sten, what is best in life?"

Me: uh...

Sten: Do you know what I said?

Me: Let me guess.  To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and
to hear the lamentation of their women?

Sten: *looks annoyed*

Me: HA! I knew it!

Sten: Cake.

Me: What?

Sten: Cake.  Cake is best in life.

Me: I-... what about pie?

Sten: There is no pie.

Me: I-

Sten: THE PIE IS A LIE!

Me: uh...I'm going to go over there now.  Next to Sandal.

Sten: Cake or death?

Me: Sandal, HAAALP!

Sandal: Enchantment?

Shale: Expletive: Damn it.  Keep it down, meatbags.

Me: SAAAANDAAAAAL

Sandal: Enchantment!

Modifié par mysticforce42, 03 décembre 2009 - 09:28 .

[Recidiva]

Extra double funny points for working Conan, Portal and Eddie Izzard into a brief vignette!

[Recidiva]

mousestalker wrote...

Me: Of course not. If you ever need anything, just remember the Alienage is but a knife throw away.

*snicker*  Ohhh...elven origins give such a...window to the world. 

[mysticforce42]

Recidiva wrote...

Extra double funny points for working Conan, Portal and Eddie Izzard into a brief vignette!

Why, thank you!

I must say, your original and inspired idea for this thread has made the past few days far more enjoyable at work

[Memengwa]

mysticforce42 wrote...

Recidiva wrote...

Extra double funny points for working Conan, Portal and Eddie Izzard into a brief vignette!

Why, thank you!

I must say, your original and inspired idea for this thread has made the past few days far more enjoyable at work

Don't forget HK-47! I dig this.

[Recidiva]

mysticforce42 wrote...

Why, thank you!

I must say, your original and inspired idea for this thread has made the past few days far more enjoyable at work

It has been my absolute pleasure.  And occasional inability to breathe from laughing so hard.

[Recidiva]

Memengwa wrote...

Don't forget HK-47! I dig this.

Oh yes!  HK-47!  My Bioware truest love. :heart:

[mysticforce42]

*2nd floor window of Arl of Redcliffe’s estate*

 

Me: One day, Alistair, all this will be yours.

Alistair: What, the curtains?

Me: No, not the curtains – are you trying to make fun of me?

Alistair: Of course I am.  You are going to make me King, consider it payback.

Me: I did you a favor!

Alistair: You are forcing me to marry that scheming, conniving, manipulative harpy!

Me:  Yes.  But you don’t have to stay married.

Alistair: What?

Me:  Look, the marriage is just a formality right?  You can cut off her head tomorrow if you want – you’re the King–

Alistair: That’s…horrible! I can’t believe you are telling me this, I am to marry a Queen and then
have her murdered in cold blood?

Me:  –and then you can marry a succession of women and kill them in increasingly amusing ways, some
involving jam–

Alistair:  *faints*

Morrigan:  It’s good to be the King.

 

Morrigan Approves +5

Modifié par mysticforce42, 03 décembre 2009 - 10:43 .

[Zachriel]

I tend to use my in game omniscience for pure gratification.  For example:

Morrigan:  You've been spending a lot of time with that girl
Me:  Yep
Morrigan:  It just doesn't seem right, being intimate with me while doting on her at the same time.  I find myself playing the jealous wife, and I do not like it.
Me:  So you want me to break things off with Leliana.
Morrigan:  Yes
Me:  No can do.  Got a thing for redheads, you see.
Morrigan:  Then it is over between us.
Me:  Fine with me

5 seconds later....

Me:  Hey Morrigan, look.  A mirror!
Morrigan: Why, that looks just like the one-
Me: - your mother smashed to pieces when  you were little.  Yep.  Pretty gift for a pretty lady.  So... care to join me in my tent?
Morrigan:  Absolutely.

2 minutes later.....

Me:  So Leliana, want to talk about what happened to Marjorine?
Leliana:  I...
Me:  Miss her, I know.  She was important to you, and all that.  Someday I want to be important to you too.
Leliana:  I think that day has come and gone already.

5 seconds later....

Me: Let's go to bed.
Leliana:  What?  Really?  I mean...
Me:  Don't make me grab you and throw you into my tent
Leliana:  I thought you'd never come around..
Me:  Wait, what?  You thought I would never come around...?
Leliana:  What?
Me:  Nothing, nothing.  Let's do this.

2 minutes later....

Me: 

[m2abrams]

mysticforce42 wrote...


*2nd floor window of Arl of Redcliffe’s estate*

 

Me: One day, Alistair, all this will be yours.

Alistair: What, the curtains?

Me: No, not the curtains – are you trying to make fun of me?

Alistair: Of course I am.  You are going to make me King, consider it payback.

Me: I did you a favor!

Alistair: You are forcing me to marry that scheming, conniving, manipulative harpy!

Me:  Yes.  But you don’t have to stay married.

Alistair: What?

Me:  Look, the marriage is just a formality right?  You can cut off her head tomorrow if you want – you’re the King–

Alistair: That’s…horrible! I can’t believe you are telling me this, I am to marry a Queen and then
have her murdered in cold blood?

Me:  –and then you can marry a succession of women and kill them in increasingly amusing ways, some
involving jam–

Alistair:  *faints*

Morrigan:  It’s good to be the King.

 

Morrigan Approves +5

props for the monty python and History of the world references. But serisously, all you guys rock.  i wish i could think of something to write, but alas my normally rapier wit is dulled by the comedic genius this page has

[Recidiva]

*At Flemeth's Hut*



Me - being helped up, again...in a fit of giggles.

Alistair: What is so funny?

Me: I die...like...in nanoseconds.

Alistair: And that's funny?

Me: Well, I do have a cracked skull and probably a concussion, but no, that's not it.

Alistair: What's funny then?

Me: Well, you remember that massive attack? I mean, I died right off, but you were massively attacked as I recall.

Alistair: Yes. Though not with as much fondness.

Me: And then...and then Wynne...Wynne...she resurrects you and then Flemeth grabs you IMMEDIATELY and shakes you to death AGAIN?

Alistair: THAT is what was memorable for you in that battle?

Wynne: I didn't have the time to scrape either of you up again after that.

Me: *still dissolving in giggles*

Shale: You certainly did need a golem along, didn't you.

Me: Shale, you were superb. Just plugging away at her knees like that.

Alistair: I told you we should have lied to Morrigan.

Me: Oh...well...maybe. But we would have missed the experience. Oh...oh...good times.

Alistair: D'you think we could...not tell that story at camp?

Me: Not a chance.

Shale: If Wynne and I are going to be babysitters, we need to at least be paid in credit.

[sagevallant]

Me: So, Morrigan, honey, you know how you asked me to kill Flemeth?



Morrigan: Yes. 'Tis done?



Me: And you know how you told me I couldn't bring you along?



Morrigan: Indeed. It might have caused the body-snatching to take place.



Me: Is there you feel like you should've told me before I went? Like, I don't know, something that happened to be in that fancy black book I gave you?



Morrigan: Such as?



Me: Such as, I don't know, she might possibly turn into a HUGE-ASS F***ING DRAGON?!



Morrigan: Oh, yes. You should not let her do that.

[Rathengar]

*Arl Eamon's Estate*

Me: Wake up ! Its time to leave for the landsmeet.
Alistair: *mumbles abit *  allright allright, just give me a moment here.

*37 secounds later*

Alistair: Heeeey ! Where's my armor and my wea... well where is EVERYTHING ?
Me: Well you see the thing is t...
Alistair: Oh no , i should have knowen ... this is ... so horrible. I knew it ... its my turn !
Me: Ah dont be ridicules.  Here you can have Marjolaine cloth to put on.
Alistair: The dog, Sten, Wynne and so many others ..you let em die... you let em die on purpes!
Me: Drama drama , where did you lose all your witty lines today ?
Alistar: and then Liliana was gone one morning even tho her gear was still in camp, not to mention when Oghren was forced naked to confront hes love just to be killed after you giving him "advise".
Me: Okay okay  ... you should have knowen better then giving me -54 approval last night you know
Alistair: What ? I ga... what ?
Me: Nevermind , come lets go talk futher in the landsmeet.  Anora will be there and so will Loghain. oh and there is an execution aswell !  it will be fun !

(Edit= tried fix a few spelling , sorry for that, my english is limited)

Modifié par Rathengar, 04 décembre 2009 - 05:53 .

[Xandurpein]

*In Camp*



Me: Do you finally want to join me in my tent?

Alistair: Oh...um... allright



Alistair approves +4

Alistair gains Massive Constitution +4



Me: See, exercise is good for you!

[Soepkommetje]

Alistair: Say, honey, is there any reason we're traveling back to Denerim?
Me: You insisted on following my lead. Don't question me now.
Morrigan: The dimwitted one has a point. Didn't we just come from there a few days ago?
Me: Yes, we did. The destination is not important, it's the journey.
Wynne: Did I talk in my sleep again?
Alistair: It's not that I don't trust you, b-.
Me: Trust me, it'll become clear in time. Just keep your eyes peeled for two fat farmers and a crater. The sooner we get this over with the sooner you'll get a present.
Alistair: Oohh, present. Will it be shiny?
Me: Oh yes, very shiny. In fact, it will shine with a glow so unique it will seem outlandish. Now zip it.
Zevran: Not to impose on the welcome of the handsome Warden that spared my life, but are we just travelling so you can give your boytoy a present?
Me: Well, you watch for a bunch of awestruck farmers standing around a log then. I'm sure you'll count your blessings after you spot it.
Zevran: Does it involve lampposts?
Me: Only if you desire it to. And I am far away.
Zevran: You have certainly peaked my interest. *eyes up Sten*
Me: Right. Far away, remember?
Wynne: You impress me with your skill in keeping your companions happy. It's like your prime skill is reading people.
Me: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Wynne: Of course not, it is known that you return to the maker if you die.
Me: In that case, let's just say that I am indeed good at reading people.

Keep 'em coming people, I don't want the thread to die, and I'm running out of inspiration to bump the thread with...

[Eliende]

Recidiva wrote...

WHY am I checking out my mom's gear and seeing if it will sell well as a Noble?  No reason.  Why do you ask?  (I thought I was all cold and badassey.  But I still cried.)

WHY am I doing the same to Jory and Daveth and wondering if stripping them will gain me some cash and also give me a new cutscene with naked people?  Maybe Jory can't pull his sword.  Oooh.  Try it!

I can say "Fergus will be fine."  with no anxiety in my voice.

Why am I stealthing right now?  Oh.  No reason.  I'm just...I get feelings about things.

Anybody else experiencing ironic foreshadowing events as if your class were somehow...psychic? 

I am equally annoyed by the opposite - when you are sent to rescue the queen and you end upp "barging in" on Howe and his mages, when I tried to position my troupe outside the door moments before. Exactly how stupis is my char to barge in like that anyways?

[Recidiva]

*looks down the long hallway on the way to the Mountaintop*



Me: Uh...we should go.

Alistair: Run back all the way? But it can't be much further.

Me: Have you PLAYED this game? Never mind. It can be. And it can have...uh...big things.

Alistair: Bigger than Flemeth. Really? I find that hard to believe.

Me: Yeah, you're surprisingly on track AND off track there. We have no lyrium potions, the girls have been chugging them like jello shots at Daytona beach on spring break.

Wynne: Aaah, young love.

Morrigan; I think I'm beginning to glow blue.

Me: Besides. Drake scales! Let's go talk to Wade.

Alistair: But we're coming back, right?

Me: Maybe twice.

Alistair: Just like the spiders and the blood mages, then?

Me: Would I lie to you?

Alistair, Wynne and Morrigan: *angry glares*

Me: Right. Don't answer that. What's with the dragonlings who say "Ni?"

Alistair: Surprisingly hard to kill for something that sounds like a squeak toy.

[mysticforce42]

*at Camp*

Me:  Alright men, it is time for the final showdown, the last hurrah, the destiny upon which we were thrusted, the–
Oghren:  Alright, alright we get it.
Me:  But I worked on it all night!  Alright, fine.  Loghain, what are our liabilities?
Loghain:  There is but one working castle gate, and it is guarded by 60 Darkspawn.
Me:  And our assets?
Loghain:  Your brains, Sten’s strength, my steel… Oghren’s stench and Shale’s…mass.
Me:  Wait, we have no mages?
Loghain:  The only mage I saw in your party was that swamp witch who left earlier.  Was it something I said?
Me:  No, it was something you could have– No.  I don’t need that image in my head.  What happened to Wynne?
Shale:  She was apparently a bit attached to that bit of ashes we found some time ago.
Me:  Oh, right.  Leliana too.  She went all stabbity on us.  I always thought she was a bit… special.
Shale:  Meatbag is as meatbag does.
Me:  …what does that even mean?  Where’s Zevran?
Oghren:  In happy land, living in a ditch on Decapitation Lane.
Me:  Oh.  Uh.  We’ll need potions.
Sten:  No elves.  No roots.  No potions.
Me:  What happen– oh, right, werewolves.
Loghain:  What is your command, O glorious leader?
Me:  You, take Oghren and go right,  Sten and Shale will go left… I’m just going to wait right here.

[Recidiva]

*on the road*



Alistair: You hum.

Me: I do?

Alistair: Yes, you hum when you walk sometimes. Or even in battle. I've noticed.

Me: Does it bother you?

Alistair: No, not at all, it's charming. I'm just not familiar with the tunes.

Me: I suppose they wouldn't be familiar. There's one that reminds me of you.

Alistair: There is? What is it?

Me: Goes like this *strums her sword and turns around to skip backward and starts to sing*



When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you



If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you

And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you



But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles

To fall down at your door



Du duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh

Duh duh duh dun de da dun de da duh deh da duh duh dun



Morrigan: At least the drunk part is accurate.

Me: Oh, I have one for you, Morrigan.

Morrigan: I shudder.

Me: Goes like this:



One way or another, I'm gonna find ya'

I'm gonna get ya', get ya', get ya', get ya'

One way or another, I'm gonna win ya'

I'm gonna get ya', get ya' ,get ya', get ya'

One way or another, I'm gonna see ya'

I'm gonna meet ya', meet ya', meet ya', meet ya'



One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya'

I'm gonna give you the slip

A slip of the lip or another I'm gonna lose ya'

I'm gonna trick ya', I'll trick ya'



Alistair: Hah! That does suit her, doesn't it?

Me: You have no idea. And you're never going to.

Morrigan: Your musical talent matches your strategic acumen.

Alistair: Oh, you're just jealous, she has a lovely voice.

Wynne: Oooh! Oooh! Do me!

Me: I'm sorry, Wynne, I haven't thought of just the perfect song for you yet.

Wynne: Is it because I'm old?

Me: No, it's not because you're old! Maker!

Alistair: Teach me the "Duh duh duh duh" part in the song for me. That sounded like fun.

Morrigan: Oh, that's just too easy.