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[Recidiva]

*At The Trial of the Crows*



Morrigan: Where...this looks suspicious. Why are you poking around private rooms with just me and the dog and Sten. Where are your best friends? You know, the ones you actually travel with?

Me: Morrigan, flat out, I don't care what you think, and you'll probably like this, so shoosh. Read your grimoire. At least I really killed Flemeth this time.

Sten: Why am I here then?

Me: You're tall and scary. Good things.

Sten: I find that an acceptable reason.

Dog: Happily digging things up and rolling on his back.



*cagey talk with Master Ignacio*



Me: Oh, I've already killed Paedan.

Ignacio: *more cagey talk*

Morrigan: Is everyone else really back at camp, or did you kill them too?

Me: Do you really want to find out?

Morrigan: I...no.

[Recidiva]

anaea123 wrote...

SERIOUSLY?  I thought for sure that would get me a pouty Alistair and disapproval points.  Time to load an old save. >.<

Seriously, which is why I think so many of his conversation options are worth following, and the others...not so much.  It's hilarious.

"Hmm, you know, according to all the sisters at the monastery, I should have been struck by lightning by now."
"Not for that performance"
"Meaning it was so great that the Maker Himself has decided to spare me the usual punishment?  Right?  Right?  Awwww."

"Have I told you that I love you?  I did?  Well, it won't kill you to hear it again, will it?"
"No, but I might kill you."
(Playful)  "Mood spoiler."

[mousestalker]

Somewhere in the Brecilian Forest



Me: Does everyone have the special weaponry equipped? Alistair, Oghren, Sten?



Sten: This makes no sense. These weapons produce less than maximum damage.



Me (giggling): Trust me. This will be great.



Oghren: Will we have beer afterwards?



Me (Lie): Absolutely.



Alistair: But....



Me: Shush. Everyone ready? Charge



Wild Sylvan: Rawr!



Me: Axes out guys!



Oghren: Trees! Evil! Evil Trees!



Wild Sylvan : Aiiieeeeeeeee!



Other Wild Sylvans: Lumberjacks! Flee!



Mad Hermit: Yay! All my fantasies have come true.



Alistair: Is this dew or did the tree just p*** itself?

[Akron1983]

*At camp*



Me: So Shale... care to explain yourself?



Shale: I told it that I was sorry.



Me: Sorry you say? SORRY?! You just ended the game prematurely. Now what am I to do?

Is there even any point in curing the arl now?



Shale: I just got a little carried away. Thats all...



Me: You killed the archdemon, Shale... It was surrounded by thousands of darkspawns in the dead trenches and you just jumped in and smashed the f-ing archdemons head in..



Shale: It lies! I did not smash it. Smashing is for more fleshy creatures. I squished it...



Me: Squish, smash, tear into little small pieces. What does it matter? The archdemon is dead and Im not even halfway thtough the game.



Shale: I am sorry... If it had only told me that is what an archdemon looks like. I honestly thought it was a giant pigeon...

[Recidiva]

I'm not sure this much giggling is good for my health. But if it works out that it is, I'm going to live forever.

[thegreateski]

Akron1983 wrote...
Shale: I am sorry... If it had only told me that is what an archdemon looks like. I honestly thought it was a giant pigeon...

Har har har.

[mousestalker]

Random thought: If you do the good ending and the werewolves get cured, you might say they all got a full-body Brecilian wax job.

[Recidiva]

mousestalker wrote...

Random thought: If you do the good ending and the werewolves get cured, you might say they all got a full-body Brecilian wax job.

After someone gives the Archdemon a darkspawn necktie.

[GoldenusG]

It was dark that night in Castle Highever I thought as I stalked the halls like a drunken Hurlock looking for an accomadating broodmother. How has it come to this I pondered as I crossed through into the room which apparently was mine.



Last thing I remember, I was stabbing into the Archdemon's neck, my blade like a flaming-knife through flesh (Which thanks to that grand old-dame, it was. Man, what a pair she had on her. Half made me wish I was 30 years older). Now look. I've grown near three foot taller, and had a couple of 'significant developments' in front... Hows a royal Dwarf come to this I asked myself? Thats the last time I let myself croak for a cause.



Suddenly there was a noise in the hallway. Sounded like a scream. Wait! There it was again, then... Silence. There! The unmistakable noise of a bow being drawn outside the room. Bah. Here we go.



Same old job, only with more estrogen... And a castle.

[Rathengar]

Akron1983 wrote...


Shale: I am sorry... If it had only told me that is what an archdemon looks like. I honestly thought it was a giant pigeon...

Extremely funny , i hade to walk away from pc to recover from that one 

[thegreateski]

Ha! I see what you did there.

[Rathengar]

thegreateski wrote...

Ha! I see what you did there.

Huh ?

Was that for me ? If so what do you mean ? sorry meaning going straight over my head.

Modifié par Rathengar, 07 décembre 2009 - 12:39 .

[Recidiva]

*In Brecilian Forest*



Alistair: I have a question.

Morrigan: You must raise your hand, if you wish to draw the teacher's attention.

Alistair: Morrigan, shove the sharp points of your staff -

Me: What's your question?

Alistair: We were just attacked...by a werewolf and a rabid werewolf.

Me: And?

Morrigan: Do you know what rabid means? It's not a small mammal with long ears.

Wynne: *tries not to laugh*

Alistair: I'm ignoring you. Right now. This is my ignoring face.

Me: I don't get it.

Alistair: Well, aren't...ALL werewolves rabid? Isn't that...kind of their thing?

Me: I suppose. Maybe they were extra cursed?

Alistair: What, like, this werewolf was created by a werewolf who first bit them and then insulted their mother?

Me: It is a baaaaad forest.

Alistair: I wonder if we're going to be attacked by undead and then not-alive undead.

Morrigan: Camp was so much more peaceful.

[thegreateski]

Rathengar wrote...

thegreateski wrote...

Ha! I see what you did there.

Huh ?

Was that for me ? If so what do you mean ? sorry meaning going straight over my head.

Not you, Golden.

[Zifbox]

I've been spending entirely too much time reading this thread, but enjoying it immensely. Only gotten through page 10, but I'd like to recognize the 3 quotes that actually made me laugh alloud.

ComTrav wrote...

Zathrian: Why have you come, outsider?
Me: Say, "human beings are highly illogical."

Recidiva wrote...

I can hear Alistair's voice in my head: "Pretty soon, they'll be reading our eugoogaly!"

Keldon Northwind wrote...

Upon arriving into the Orzammar Commons.
Alistair: "Wow, this place is huge!"
Me: "Eh, it's okay, I guess. You should see Ironforge."

[sirchet]

Recidiva wrote...
Alistair: I have a question.
Morrigan: You must raise your hand, if you wish to draw the teacher's attention.
Alistair: Well, aren't...ALL werewolves rabid? Isn't that...kind of their thing?
Me: I suppose. Maybe they were extra cursed?
Alistair: What, like, this werewolf was created by a werewolf who first bit them and then insulted their mother?
Me: It is a baaaaad forest.
Alistair: I wonder if we're going to be attacked by undead and then not-alive undead.

*Kneels and joins the masses in their worship of the "Priestess of Mirth" Recidiva*

:wub:

[Recidiva]

sirchet wrote...

*Kneels and joins the masses in their worship of the "Priestess of Mirth" Recidiva*

:wub:

Thank you sooo much!

[Shazzie]

I have already professed my unrequited adoration for you, Recidiva, but there's more!

Every post you make, I can hear the party members voices! You have such a knack for giving them lines that perfectly fit them, so much so that I can even hear their tone and inflection as they recite the lines you've written.

Quite often followed by hearing Alistair say 'I hate you. You're a bad person.' in the back of my mind while I'm laughing over what you've written about, as well.



And my next playthrough I will be turning Wynne into an Arcane Warrior. I absolutely cannot resist now.

[Zenocrate]

First, such and enjoyable thread =)  Just wanna say thanks!  Especially Recidiva....and Mousestalker's last two were pure gold.  A humble offering -


Upon entering the tavern in Lothering:

Me:  Ok guys let's just get on with it.  Oh and the crazy rehead's on my side.

Ransom hunters:  *startled looks*...*shrug*...RAAAAA

Me:  Everyone freeze! except the bards.  Hear that?  We're just gonna wait here for a bit because it's the best music you're gonna hear for the ENTIRE JOURNEY and the only place they know how to play it so savor it.

Leliana:  heyyyy, I'm not that bad!

Me:  I know it's hard to believe, but we all knows you lip-sync that dalish song and it ruins it.


Oh, and I managed the sidetracked achievement on my first time through even without slim cauldry quests, the denerim innkeeper's quests, and quite a few of the blackstone irregulars', along with a few random ones (didn't find tab until halfway through) like ohgren's which he gave me the night before the march to Denerim (really game? really!?), so I have no idea how you haven't gotten it yet Reci  =/

Modifié par Zenocrate, 07 décembre 2009 - 03:53 .

[Kanner]

Recidiva (for massive effort and skill) and The Angry One (for "profiteering Harpy") win todays internets.



Thank you so so much for this wonderful distraction. =)

[KariTR]

Too little too late, but this happened to me yesterday.



Sten: *disapprovingly* The Darkspawn head for Denirim and we come to Orzammar

Me: Do you want this ****ing sword or not?

[ChemicalGreen]

Wynne: That's it. Alistair, you need to take a bath.
Alistair: What? I took one just last month, don't you remember?
Wynne: When was this?
Alistair: That was just before you joined us, wasn't it? We were arguing with Carroll to take us across the lake and Morrigan pushed me off the docks.
Wynne: Getting pushed into a lake is not a bath, Alistair. When one takes a bath, one strips herself of clothing first. Or himself.
Alistair: The Chantry warned us about the lurid practises and lewd manners that you mages have.
Wynne: (sigh) Just go and take a bath... and take the dog with you.

........

Alistair: Hey, where's my towel?
Me: Must have been one of those Genlock rogues, they do get everywhere.
Alistair: Wha- How- Err, why are you here?
Me: Someone has to keep guard, wouldn't want you to be ambushed.
Zevran: Speaking of getting everywhere, I think you missed a spot or two. I could come in and point them out for you.
Morrigan: Is it truly worth your while, Zevran? Or is the water just that cold?
Shale: The Swamp Witch is cruel. And honest.
Alistair: I'm just going to drown myself, you're all bad people.

Modifié par ChemicalGreen, 07 décembre 2009 - 08:17 .

[Rathengar]

*Arl of Denerim Estate*

Ser Cautherien: Warden ! in the name of the regent. I am placing you under arrest for the murder of Rendon Howe and hes men-at-arms.
Ser Cautherien: Surrender, and you may be shown mercy.
Me: Murder is such a strong word. And besides they started the attacks. I was just defending myself.
Ser Cautherien: But you were trespassing .
Me: No no , we were merely on site seing, taking a strole throu the estate.  And suddenly for no reason we were attacked even thou we tried solve it peacefully. I must have tripped a silent alarm or they used a intercom. because suddenly the hole estate knew and got hostile.
Ser Cautherien:  How do i know you speaking the truth, and what is this silent alarm and intercom ?
Me: Nevermind that . Nice armor you got there, fits you well, shows your feature perfectly.
Ser Cautherien: Oh, flattered Thank you so much, i got it from the royal armourer... Erhem ...you cant talk your way out of this. Come with me and make a statement.
Me: Oh, okay i will come.  Nice sword you got there too ! Is it a true Vercenne of Halamshival ?
Ser Cautherien: Yes, Loghain himself gave it too me.  He got it at the battle of Avinash from no other then Luis ....you did it again ! Now follow me and keep you mouth shut .

Modifié par Rathengar, 07 décembre 2009 - 08:38 .

[Recidiva]

Shazzie wrote...

I have already professed my unrequited adoration for you, Recidiva, but there's more!
Every post you make, I can hear the party members voices! You have such a knack for giving them lines that perfectly fit them, so much so that I can even hear their tone and inflection as they recite the lines you've written.
Quite often followed by hearing Alistair say 'I hate you. You're a bad person.' in the back of my mind while I'm laughing over what you've written about, as well.

And my next playthrough I will be turning Wynne into an Arcane Warrior. I absolutely cannot resist now.

Thank you!

They certainly gave me a lot to work with.  It is fortunately not hard to spin gold out of gold.

[Kerilus]

Morrigan:Don't...

Me:Take off your robe woman.



She might just stay for a change.