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[Xandurpein]

Excerpt from the secret diary of Dog

Scene: Brecilian forest
Lots of wolfmen here. They smell funny. Got bad taste in mouth from biting them. I won't eat that. Sad. Witch who smells like old leather licks Masters face.
I am hurt. She is always angry when I do it. And Master isn't polite and smell her in the behind first. Found lots of nice things to smell though.
This is a Bad place. The loo hit me with a branch! We had to destroy the the loo. And there are more bad loos here. A strange big loo wants us to find his baby. I am unsure if it is safe to use it.

Modifié par Xandurpein, 09 décembre 2009 - 06:16 .

[Xandurpein]

Recidiva wrote...

Happy is good, and so was that.  Thank you

*smooshy hopeful romantic group hug*

*Smooshy hopeful romantic group hug to everyone who posts on this thread*

[Seallyn]

sagevallant wrote...

I'm starting to feel unappreciated. Recidiva wasn't the only one who wrote funny little snippets...

Noo...  Your snippets are extremely amusing. 

[Seallyn]

sagevallant wrote...

I'm starting to feel unappreciated. Recidiva wasn't the only one who wrote funny little snippets...

Noo...Your snippets are extremely amusing!!!!

Modifié par Seallyn, 09 décembre 2009 - 08:08 .

[ChemicalGreen]

Funny little glitch happened yesterday. I had been romancing Zevran, but had been keeping things civil ( dalish elf origins, for RP reasons I wanted the PC to have closure over Tamlen before moving on) with him. But I still keep giving him gifts when I find them, so his approval is pretty damn high. Wynne interferes, as she always does. This is what came to mind when I was accussed of keeping half the camp up with my antics in Zev's bedroll.

Wynne: So you and the elven hunk then?
Me: Err, you know about that?
Wynne: You two keep half the camp up with your goings-on.
Me: Wh-what? I did not have sexual relations with that elf!
Wynne: You will, I have foreseen it.
Me: Foreseen it? As in a vision of steaming, uninhibited sex streamed straight to your brain by Maker himself?
Wynne: Never you mind now, dear. I think I need a nap, though.

Modifié par ChemicalGreen, 09 décembre 2009 - 11:58 .

[Creature 1]

Yes, it's annoying when it's assumed you have had sex with another character when you haven't. When Leliana asks about Alistair's performance, there's just no option to say, "Well, he has not yet succumbed to my feminine wiles."

[Must have name]

*During the Dwarf Noble Origin*

PC: Hey Gorim, whats the bet that the first scout is that bloke I owned in the Proving.
Gorim: ... that's a strange question.

*Proving Guy approaches*

PC: Gorim, a bit of forewarning, what I say may appear strange, trust me on this.
Dwarf from Proving: Ah, thank the Stone you made it..
PC: I know you're going to betray me to Bhelen.
Dwarf from Proving: Wait.. what.. how...
PC: Which is why i'll double what he's paying you to testify against him.
Gorim: Sir... what are....
PC: Trust me.
Dwarf from Proving: ... I... have no...
PC: Idea how I know, but I do, you admit it then?
Gorim: I'm still perplexed my liege.
PC: Oh, by the way, the next Scout is in on it to, we'll kill him for cowardice. By the way, if you see Trian's signet ring on anyone's corpse, leave it alone.

*Much later on, over Trian's corpse*
King Endrin: Son! What have you done.
PC: I didn't do anything. Tell him Proving guy...
Proving Guy: Bhelen paid me to confess that your other son killed Trian, who himself was planning to kill your other son, but, he actually hasn't, and we've just arrived here to find Trian murdered, by Bhelen himself.
Bhelen: What! How can you believe this guy father?!?
Proving Guy: Here's several notes condemning Bhelen.
PC: By the way, I also took the liberty of getting an artist to paint a depiction of me killing Trian, and Bhelen killing him.
King Endrin: Wow... the Bhelen one does look convincing...
Bhelen: How can you believe this man!
PC: Because your own guards will all confess.
Guards: It's true!!!
Bhelen: What.. what.. you?!?
PC: You're not the only one who can bribe people brother. I simply bribe them to say the truth instead.
King Endrin: That's it, I sentence you to death Bhelen.
PC: Guess I won't be a Warden after all!

[Recidiva]

sagevallant wrote...

I'm starting to feel unappreciated. Recidiva wasn't the only one who wrote funny little snippets...

You, sir, are awesome.

Would you like action figures, alcohol, maps, jewelry, rocks?

Hugs and compliments also available.

[Recidiva]

Creature 1 wrote...

Yes, it's annoying when it's assumed you have had sex with another character when you haven't. When Leliana asks about Alistair's performance, there's just no option to say, "Well, he has not yet succumbed to my feminine wiles."

I did like when you could tell Morrigan "He's an idiot, but he's my idiot."

[Recidiva]

My mage can't trust Alistair. Templar. Can barely manage not setting his eyes on fire. Will leave him in camp. Prefer company of Wynne, Morrigan and Leliana. Leliana has been respecced to bard/archer/lockpicking and Morrigan is now a brand spanking new spirit healer.



Alistair: But Duncan...

Me: Was a vicious bastard who took me from the tower, where I was held captive by a Templar that screwed me over and a First Enchanter who also, guess what! Screwed me over. And then my friend, MY FRIEND...screwed me over and lied to me about being a blood mage. And then Duncan...screwed...me...over. And he's dead now and I'm glad. Vicious ******.

Alistair: But...

Me: Here's camp. You'll like it here. Or not. I don't particularly care.

Alistair: But...

Me: You're invading my personal bubble. Know what I do to people...particularly templars (other than Cullen) who invade my personal bubble? I fail to heal them. Or give them poultices. And I make every bad guy near them explode through being a virulent walking bomb and then I laugh at the resulting injuries.

Alistair: So that WAS on purpose.

Me: If I hear the name Duncan one more time, I will personally assure that you will wish you stayed down for once.

Alistair: There's probably something I should tell you...

Me: There's so many things people SHOULD have told me. I'm not listening to any of them any more. Enjoy camp, stay out of my way. If you can be of use to me, I'll let you know.

Alistair: All right then, I'll just...warm my hands by the fire.

Me: Good man.

[Xandurpein]

What really happens when you break up with Leliana:

Leliana: She is beautiful, I can see why you like her.
Me: Um... ok.
Leliana: No, really. I understand. You don't have to worry about me *sniff*
Me: Come on, don't do this.
Leliana: I'm not doing anything. I'll just go sit by the fire and compose a ballad...
Me: Well.. good for you.
Leiliana: ... about a Lady who commits suicide because of a broken heart.
Me: Seriously! You aren't gonna stop this until I'm on such a guilt trip that ruins it with Morrigan, are you?
Leliana: Serves you right, cheating bastard!

Modifié par Xandurpein, 09 décembre 2009 - 04:05 .

[sagevallant]

Recidiva wrote...

sagevallant wrote...

I'm starting to feel unappreciated. Recidiva wasn't the only one who wrote funny little snippets...

You, sir, are awesome.

Would you like action figures, alcohol, maps, jewelry, rocks?

Hugs and compliments also available.

mmm... alcohol...

[Recidiva]

sagevallant wrote...

mmm... alcohol...

We'll get along just fine.  I've got lots.  Even have Absinthe.  Which is fun in an "oooh, Absinthe" way once, but we still have it because it doesn't exactly inspire "Oooh, you know what I want?  More wormwood."

[sagevallant]

Recidiva wrote...

sagevallant wrote...

mmm... alcohol...

We'll get along just fine.  I've got lots.  Even have Absinthe.  Which is fun in an "oooh, Absinthe" way once, but we still have it because it doesn't exactly inspire "Oooh, you know what I want?  More wormwood."

Would probably kill me. I do alright for a guy who hardly ever drinks, so I'm not quite a lightweight, but yeah. Still hardly ever drink

[Recidiva]

sagevallant wrote...

Would probably kill me. I do alright for a guy who hardly ever drinks, so I'm not quite a lightweight, but yeah. Still hardly ever drink

I don't much either.  Usually causes headaches.  But I get curious about what they taste like and then have the unfinished bottle about forever.

Thus...lots of choices!

[Recidiva]

*in Camp*

Me: Okay, take off your jewelry.
Morrigan: But, this one has my name on it...
Me: I have five fingers on each hand, I should be able to wear at least ten rings. Sturdy neck and slender waist, should be able to manage multiple necklaces and belts.
Morrigan: I have noticed you have...jewelry...
Me: Which I'm keeping. Cough it up.
Morrigan: *pouty face*
Me: You clearly have no problem being scantily clad.
Morrigan: I don't know why I'm doing this...*hands the rings over*
Me: I know, you're getting a girl boner. But save it. I'm really only after the stat bonuses.
*tries to put on multiple rings, they keep replacing each other magically* Damn.
Morrigan: Can I...can I have that back?
Me: Stupid jewelry. We've got dragons and darkspawn and a wholer realm of magic but somehow only enough room in the world for two rings. Makes no sense.
Morrigan: While I was in the wilds, I...
Me: I don't care. *stalks off to develop some sort of accessory magical Velcro in order to wear all the equipment at once and gain all stat bonuses*
Morrigan: *looks pained and torn and then makes the Universal "Call me!" look behind my back*

Modifié par Recidiva, 09 décembre 2009 - 05:44 .

[Recidiva]

*In Camp*



Me: Leliana, I'm thinking about a "Girl Power" game.

Leliana: That sounds lovely. What does that mean, do we sleep in each other's tents and do each other's hair?

Me: Yes, actually. Pretty much that's the breakdown. And you do like my hair.

Leliana: I do! It's lovely.

Me: Wonderful. So then it's Morrigan, Wynne, You, Me and then Shayle when Morrigan goes all wonky.

Leliana: Shale? The golem?

Me: She's a girl.

Leliana: No way! But she doesn't have any hair!

Me: Don't remind her, and don't tell her just yet, I want it to be a surprise.

Leliana: I can't wait to see her face, this is going to be fun!

Me: You're crazy, but you're the first person to say anything nice to me that wasn't so entirely self serving as to be completely transparent.

Leliana: The Maker says...

Me: If you could tone the Maker thing down a bit, I'd appreciate it. I...I have a severe allergy to spiritual energies and...uh...talk of the Maker gives me awful hives. Something about...um...lyrium and the power of the Maker competing with each other. Mystical allergies are awful things. It's not my fault I'm a mage. I'll do my best to seek some sort of cure and then we can sit down and braid each other's hair and have a lovely heart to heart about the Maker some day. I promise. Please?

Leliana: That's terrible! I had no idea. And you have such nice...skin.

Me: I do, I do. And if we want to keep it that way...we...what?

Leliana: We don't talk about the Maker.

Me: Thank you. I know you hold the Maker deep in your heart and if it's all right with you, He can stay there?

Leliana: Of course. There are so many things about being a mage I do not understand.

Me: You're...so...cute!

[Recidiva]

*After Marjolaine*



Harden Leliana. Check.



Frame Alistair. Next:



Me: Alistair, who raised you?

Alistair: Dogs...

Me: Not dogs.

Alistair: Arl Eamon.

Me: Who is your father.

Alistair: Darth Vader?

Me: *stare* I know I said I wouldn't talk to you, but I have to be able to so I can yell at you later for hiding it.

Alistair: I have a question for you, why is Leliana sharpening her knives constantly with this...look on her face?

Me: Because I have no conscience.

Alistair: Oh. Well. That explains a lot.

Me: And as to your parentage?

Alistair: I'm screwed, aren't I?

Me: As many ways from Sunday as I can manage, then you leave at Landsmeet but still become a good king.

Alistair: Oh. Well...that's...that's nice.

Me: You're going to throw a hissy fit.

Alistair: I do not throw hissy fits.

Me: Who raised you?

Alistair: Bloody hell. Touche.

Me: We'll be forced to talk later. Act surprised.

[rayvioletta]

Alistair: I'd like to ask you about our other companions...

Me: I know, go ahead.

Alistair: Leliana, is she really crazy...

Me: yep, but she's a redhead, funny and has a cute accent so she stays. plus I like crazy

Alistair: well that explains why you keep Morrigan around..,

Me: somebody has to have the demon babies

Alistair: what?

Me: nevermind

Alistair: what about Sten? he killed all those people...

Me: just don't steal his sword and you'll be safe

Alistair: Zev...

Me: we can trust him, so long as I give him gloves and boots...

Leliana raises an eyebrow

Me: you can have all the other shoes we find. Alice, give her your Templar boots

Alistair: what? wait, what?

Leliana approves +42

Alistair: ok forget our companions, I'm more worried about you...

[Recidiva]

*in camp, Again*



Me: Alistair. You know how I said when I needed you, I'd let you know?

Alistair: Trying to forget.

Me: That's now. I'm going to start giving you presents because in order for my master plan to work, you have to like me enough to ask me about your sister.

Alistair: I thought you had no use for me.

Me: I don't. The plot does. You are now a pawn.

Alistair: That's never good.

Me: No. I have to get you to the other side of the board and make you a queen.

Alistair: Don't you mean king?

Me: If I could...but the chess metaphor suits me better right now.

Alistair: Maker, you're mean.

Me: So we're going to be nice to each other and I'm going to give you things and then you're going to be tougher and then I'm going to ignore you again.

Alistair: I told you that everyone treated me differently after they found out.

Me: And how right you were.

Alistair: I'll tell Leliana. She doesn't know how cruel you are.

Me: *yelling* LELIANA, ALISTAIR HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

Leliana: What, dear?

Me: *stares at Alistair*

Alistair: *yelling* I JUST THOUGHT YOU BOTH MAKE A LOVELY COUPLE.

Leliana: Thank you!

Me: You're catching on.

Alistair: I can tell. She'd cut my throat if you just mentioned it casually in conversation. That I'd look better that way.

Me: You'll be a good king.

Alistair: *sigh*

[Servant of Nature]

Oh, dear. Poor Alistair.



Also congratulations on your relationship with Leliana, I sincerely hope she waits until after the honeymoon to start the ritual carvings.

[Recidiva]

Servant of Nature wrote...

Oh, dear. Poor Alistair.

Also congratulations on your relationship with Leliana, I sincerely hope she waits until after the honeymoon to start the ritual carvings.

Oh well, at least he's not dying this time.  Loghain is.  

I drank Avernus's potion, I'm so busy cutting my own throat and then draining my own life back I'm cool with ritual carvings.  Let her have her fun.  I'm enjoying hardened Leliana.  I had no idea she'd say that the Chantry was, in fact, boring.  Woo hoo!  I can work with this!

Mage origins makes it very easy to play emotionally remote, suspicious and templar-disliking. Except Cullen, of course, but I need Wynne, so I can't side with him...wonder if he's gonna kill himself this time.  I gave him his chance.  Silly Cullen.

Not to mention mages are insanely overpowered and not needing Alistair is eeeeasy.

His approval hasn't gone above 5 for most of the game so far, so he's generally been a dick.  Workable.  I really don't like him.  Still has an awesome voice, but I genuinely dislike his mage-sassing, Duncan loving, important-plot-information withholding self.

[Servant of Nature]

I have a playthrough coming up that'll be like that, 'cept my lovely magi lady will be seducing Zev. I haven't hardened Leliana yet... anytime I have a more 'evil' playthrough I can't justify taking long some Maker-crazed lay sister that HAD VISIONS! and when I did romance her as a mage, my mage was actually very devoted and such.



I have a difficult time being a jerk to my companions though, if I don't kill them outright or let them die, they end up at +100 approval anyway.



May have to be a jerk to Alistair with her... I like his angry voice, even if I felt terrible that one time I let Loghain live. To be honest though Alistair was lucky I liked his character so much, otherwise I would have been tempted to let Loghain live because I adore him and would totally seduce him if the game let me. Not that he would go for that anyway, at the very least I would keep poking him until he told me about Rowan.



Silly rampant paranoia.

[Recidiva]

Servant of Nature wrote...

I have a playthrough coming up that'll be like that, 'cept my lovely magi lady will be seducing Zev. I haven't hardened Leliana yet... anytime I have a more 'evil' playthrough I can't justify taking long some Maker-crazed lay sister that HAD VISIONS! and when I did romance her as a mage, my mage was actually very devoted and such.

I have a difficult time being a jerk to my companions though, if I don't kill them outright or let them die, they end up at +100 approval anyway.

May have to be a jerk to Alistair with her... I like his angry voice, even if I felt terrible that one time I let Loghain live. To be honest though Alistair was lucky I liked his character so much, otherwise I would have been tempted to let Loghain live because I adore him and would totally seduce him if the game let me. Not that he would go for that anyway, at the very least I would keep poking him until he told me about Rowan.

Silly rampant paranoia.

I was going to wait for Zev this game, but Leliana just caught my character right and I decided to go with it.

Yeah, it makes such a difference, which class or origin is chosen.  I NEED Zev or Leliana if I'm not a rogue, and I've already done three rogue playthroughs.  So I have to pick one or the other.  And you still have to make it through at least one ally choice with Leliana before you get to Zev.  So I'll just have to be averse to Maker talk.

Having choked on a lot of my "evil" attempts, this one is pretty much going fairly well and isn't forced.  I don't feel sorry or guilty for using Alistair, because of rightous rage at being betrayed and used herself.   The way Duncan was forced to conscript her and Alistair obviously knowing he was giving a mage **** just made it easy for me to dislike him right off.   Then finding out he's royalty playing at being a commoner for laughs and there's zero chance any "cute" can overcome her mistrust.  He's just a pretty political face, no different from every other political face that tried to jerk her around during her lifetime.

So "trust issues" were the right way for me to go.  I'm still only mistrustful though, not particularly evil.  I really wanted to try the three mage/one rogue thing and it's a cakewalk.  Even "normal" with my rogue was MUCH harder.

I'm saving all my brutally evil options for next game though.  Going to go with Dwarven commoner warrior, pumped strength, side with every "evil" ally option, never pass up an opportunity to intimidate, and probably take Morrigan's deal.  And that'll be a nightmare playthrough, this one is "hard."  Gonna go with Zev next time for romance.  Dunno what to do with Loghain or Alistair, because I doubt my character would give a damn about either of them.  Probably try to be nice to Alistair because I have use for him.  He'll hate my guts though.  Oh well.  Fine.

After that, I think I will have covered all the bases, so to speak.

[Asante81]

My character just had a REAL psychic moment!!
My elven rogue just ran around at the market district, doing some... stuff... *cough* pickpocketing*cough* and all of a sudden that little boy called "Messenger" stood in front of her. He didn't try to talk to her and she didn't do anything after Lothering but coming to Denerim (so, no Zevran cutscene). I walked around the boy and he still didn't want to say a word, then I recognised him as "the" boy telling me about these "mysterious" people who want to talk to me and... I decided to hail him.
He... told me about these people having some jobs for me... So, I went there and surprisingly they really stood in the back room and we had a very nice discussion about them wanting to kill me.
Made me want to give him a note for Zevran saying:

Pirate Zevran required to call back for duty! I need to be boarded!
Don't try to kill me. Well you can try to, I don't mind, but I would prefer skipping the bloody part, coming directly to the fun part. And don't forget that earring of your first target - yes, I know of that... naughty boy you are - I might be inclined to accept it as a token of your affection.

See you later on the road

xxx
Your naughty Warden...

p.s.: If you're satisfying enough, I might have a nice pair of smelly boots for you. Or maybe some gloves?

Modifié par Asante81, 10 décembre 2009 - 02:03 .