Hehe... well, maybe I'll give it a try then
And you see... my experiments are sort of... finding the differences between all origin stories till the end. So that makes me play through it again and again. It was, to some extent fun to experiment with the different difficulties, but then I ended up going: "meeeeeh I don't want to spend 5 hours in the smelly, pesky darkroads... I want stoooory!"
So, being bold. I don't know if someone already wrote this or not. I bet someone did. I didn't read ALL those 20 pages yet.
The party is strolling through the Brecilian forest.
Me: "Listen, guys... When we're crossing that little river there, do me a favour and keep your swords and axes sheathed. Don't do anything unless I tell you to. *glares at Sten as menacing as possible* We don't want any rash fighting here...
Sten: "Parshaara!" (Sten -10)
Me: "Morrigan, no stupid comments and Oghren, hold your breath. Someone might mistake it as an attack..."
I start to rummage around in my bags.
Morrigan: "And what... exactly are we doing here...?"
Me: "Just wait."
Oghren: "For some sodding nug-humpers falling off the sky?"
Me: "Yes... for some sodding nug-humpers falling off the sky..."
Oghren looks up and almost falls backwards: "Can't sodding see some..."
I'm taking out a tangled ball of yarn.
Morrigan: "Sooooo... we're standing around in the middle of nowhere so you could get yourself some... entertainment? Is that whiney boy not entertaining enough anymore that you need to resort to such a feline type of toy? Don't we have more important things to do? Like... killing a wolf or archdemon or something like that?"
Oghren snorts and starts to laugh.
Me: "No, we don't have more important things to do. I just thought I'd sit down for a while and practice that knitting pattern Wynne taught me yesterday night at camp..."
Sten: "Parshaara! I thought you
weren't callow." (Sten -9)
Me: "Guys, do you really think I would knit something? Do I look like the knitting type?"
Morrigan: "You never know..."
Oghren: "If knitting involves tangling your legs around..."
Me interrupts Oghren: "Can't you think of anything else but "greasing the roast rump" and ale?"
Oghren grins naughtily.
I start to rummage a bit more in my bags.
Me: "Morrigan, do you still have that putrid half eaten hare Filth put in your "unmentionables" recently? Or maybe some... substitute?"
Morrigan: "I gave it back if you remember... Do I look like someone who would seriously treasure "gifts" like that?"
I mumble something about a silver mirror and decide to find a replacement for a bone or half eaten hare. Breaking a branch off a tree might do the trick. Luckily we're in a forest!
A ball of yarn in one hand and a branch in the other, I boldly step forward.
As soon as I'm about to cross the flowing water, a group of werewolves comes running down the path on the other side.
I mumble something like: "Oh, what a surprise."
Oghren: "Ancestors! Sodding nug-humpers!"
Me: "Yes, sodding nug-humpers but don't let them know it."
I'm throwing the ball of yarn to the right and the branch to the left and watch two of the wolves jumping after them in a playful reflex.
Me: "Good day to you Swiftrunner."
Swiftrunner appears confused and growls and bares his teeth.
Me: "Yes, I know, you dislike me for being aligned with the Dalish. But let me assure you, I don't intend on killing Witherfang..."
Swiftrunner: "You have..."
Me interrupts Swiftrunner: "Yes, I have no idea. Well, actually I do. So be a good boy and bring me to your Lady, yes? So we can have a little chat. A
chat nothing more. You can believe me."
Swiftrunner: "Why..."
Me: "Why should you trust me? Well that's easy. I don't appreciate what Zathrian has done, but discussing that with
you is pretty futile since the Lady is the really important one here... You're just a dog that barks."
Swiftrunner ****s his head with a surprised look on his face, but can't prevent to growl a bit. His comrades are returning with the ball and the branch.
Werewolf 1: "Swift..."
Swiftrunner growls at him and makes a silencing move with his claw: "I need to think!"
Me: "Think faster, I don't have all the time of the world and more important things to do than turning back filthy werewolves into humans..."
Morrigan: "Ah...
now you're in a hurry, aren't you?"
Sten: "I do not see the need of this conversation."
Me: "Shut up, Sten. I know what I'm doing..."
Sten: "You do." (Sten -15)
Me: "So, Swiftrunner... what's your decision?"
Oghren: "Why are you talking to that sodding dog?"
Me: "Because he stole your pants and I'm trying to convice him to give them back..."
Oghren takes a look down at his legs: "What... my... you're a sodding liar! I'm wearing my pants! "
Me: "Glad you turned sober enough to realize that."
Swiftrunner growls: "I do not trust you, human!"
Me: "You're still stuck in our last conversation. I'm an elf this time. But thank you for your repeated mistrust. You see, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I'll get to your ruins anyway. I know of a tree who lost a nut and will give me a branch in exchange for that nut which lets me pass through your magical fog. And I
do know where to find that nut..."
Swiftrunner: "You know of our ruins?"
Morrigan: "I would be
highly interested in your source of knowledge too. Maybe you could... share your secrets?" Morrigan cannot completely hide the power-hungry expression on her face.
Me: "Sure Morrigan. All you need to do is repeatedly lick lampposts in winter. Gives you insights about secrets you've never dreamed about in your wildest dreams. And believe me, I
do know of your wildest dreams..."
Oghren snorts and laughs again: "Licking..."
Me: "Yes, Oghren. Licking. You should try that too. Maybe Branka would have been friendlier to you if you had practiced licking... Back to the topic... Swiftrunner?"
Swiftrunner: "You... confuse me, elf."
Me: "Be a good boy and bring me to your Lady. Will save a lot of lifes. Trust me. Now go!"
Sten: "Parshaara! This is without any sense!" (Sten -5)
Me: "Yes Sten, it is. Go and contemplate the Qun if you're bored."
I try a different approach at Swiftrunner and decide to stare him down like a dog.
Swiftrunner: "Very well, I will bring you to our Lady."
Me: "See, that wasn't so difficult, was it?"
I make a mental note of staring earlier the next time and follow Swiftrunner to the ruins.
So... part one done... if anyone wants to, I can continue
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