2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Xandurpein]

One of the funniest lines in the game, is sometimes when you click to select Alistair and he has this bored voice:

Alistair: Do this, do that.

[Lauranis]

Recidiva wrote...

anaea123 wrote...

Alistair: Ah Lothe...
Me: We're going to the Circle tower, I want another healer.
Alistair: But I think we should talk about where we're go...
Me: Circle Tower.
Alistair: Well, I can't decide! I might be wrong!
Morrigan: Strike at your enemy...
Me: Circle Tower.
Alistair: I'm glad we have a plan.
Me: Me too. Circle Tower it is.

*done with circle tower*

Alistair: Arl Ea-
Me:  Let me go look at the map.
Alistair:  If he's all right, I hope he-
Me:  Oh look.  Right over there, that's not a smudge, that's a whole town.
Alistair:  Really?  But Arl-
Me:  I've got a hunch. Chop-chop, up you go.
Alistair:  Have you been having night-
Me:  mares.  Yes.  Very bad.  Dragon.  Brrrr...creepy.
Alistair:  Maybe we should-
Me:  I'll give you a cookie.
Alistair:  Ooooh!  Wait.  Before or after?

This made me crack up so badly haha

[Lauranis]

Mueller86 wrote...

Stripping down NPC's are we? http://img266.images...egaywardens.jpg

ROFL

[Recidiva]

So... part one done... if anyone wants to, I can continue

Yaaaaay! 

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...

Yes get started allready Asante81 !
I would like to know the rest please.

and uhu you girls talk alot about this cullen guy , maybe i should get a new hairstyle ....
or copy some of that Alistair charm next time im in town ....
or combine the two ....

Cullen is tragically underwritten.  Poor thing.

Alistair charm is good.  Alistair's wobbly grasp on priorities, not so much.

[Recidiva]

Xandurpein wrote...

Cullen definitly seems to be a girl thing. I never really got it (and I did play Mage's beginning with a female char). "I need to kill all mages, I'm just a bit shy about it" and he becomes adorable. I wonder what would have happened if the Archdemon learned that trick...

Scene: Top of Fort Drakon

PC: Now you die Archdemon. For Ferelden!
Archdemon: Oh, we fight to the death now. Of course it's just...
PC: What?
Archdemon: It's just that I'm not sure I'll make this scene worthy of your effort. It's my first blight and I'm not sure...
PC: Awww... isn't he cute.
Archdemon: Maybe if you let me slaughter another thousand people of so, I wouldn't feel so shy about facing you..
PC: Your so sweet. Go ahead, those ungrateful people of Denerim never appreciated me anyway.

Archdemon:  I really did all that murdering and horror...just to get your attention.  So...do you like coffee?
Me:  I would have really liked getting to know you better and all.  But the narrative gave us no opportunity.  Yes, I do like coffee.
Archdemon:   I like visiting you in your dreams.  We could go get some coffee and...talk about it.  I've been practicing my human speech.
Me:  Well, see...you destroyed all the coffee shops and scorched all arable land until no coffee will grow for a generation.
Archdemon:  Overkill, huh?  Always my problem. 
Me:  You seem like a really nice archdemon and I wish I could have chosen a different ending.  But all these people are here and they're fairly set on...you know...killing you.
Archdemon:  Is it because I'm a dragon?
Me:  No, no, no.  Dragons are totally cool.   It's really just the mindless destructive bit.  Sorta makes for a...lack of future opportunities.
Archdemon:  That's...I'm so sad.  Okay.  I don't want to disappoint all these people.  Just...do me a favor and take the killing blow?  I like to think I mattered to you.
Me:  Sure.  Make it look good, please, we don't want everyone gossiping that I'm soft on archdemon.
Archdemon:  Oh, okay.  *deep sigh*  All right, let's do this.  I can't fly away and cry now.
Me:  It'll be over soon.

[Recidiva]

Catt128 wrote...

Agreed

*cough* write some fanfics!!! :>

Thank you!

That's what this IS, right?  Just...Recidiva flavored fanfic.  In snippet form.  Okay, 22 pages of snippet adds up.

It's like "Robot Chicken:  Dragon Age"

[sagevallant]

I object to a BOLTED DOOR being an impassable obstacle for a party containing at least one 7 foot tall warrior with a strength in excess of 40. To say nothing of it stopping SHALE. Or, you know, a party with explosive items. Or fire in general. Like a mage.





Archdemon: Look, we got off on the wrong foot. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Lothering. I mean, it seemed like a really nice place, so I swooped low just to get a good look, and then I sneezed, and then it was gone.



Alistair (Catchphrase Mode): Yes. Swooping... is bad.



Archdemon: So then, I headed for Denerim to try and find your human king so that I could apologize and volunteer the Darkspawn to help rebuild your little pastoral paradise, but by the time we got here we were awful hungry. Well, I'm only a few weeks old and didn't realize that Darkspawn eat people. Boy, is my face red right now. Rookie mistake. So, anyway, yeah. Could we maybe just sit down over dinner and--are you aiming a freaking ballista at me?



Me: No.



Sten: I can't believe you would lie to an evil dragon. That is most dishonorable. (Sten Disapproves: -47)



Me (glare): Hey, Sten, the ballista seems to be jammed. Would you mind taking a look down the barrel and seeing if there's an obstruction?

[Recidiva]

Okay, I'm sold on the Leliana romance. Didn't work with my good dwarf. Definitely works on my self-obsessed amoral mage who would rather she had Leliana's full attention and favor.



And the kiss is better. It's lacking all the squooshy kissing noises and her hand actually goes on top of my hair and not...through it.



Thumbs up.



I can't believe that me just trying to get five frickin' points of approval from Alistair and having to choose either "you suck" options or "you're special to me" started a romance.



Me: Wait. Seriously? I give you an amulet and say you're "special" and you think that means we've got a thing going on? The way I said it, it was an insult! Just one you wouldn't be smart enough to pick up on.

Alistair: Well...it seemed reasonable.

Me: It's NOT. Considering you freak out if I say anything other than what you want me to say, it's incredibly manipulative. And you JUST ASKED ME if I was involved with Leliana. I AM.

Alistair: But I thought...I'm so handsome and...you're a girl...and...

Me: She and I are going to have sex outside soon. Watch for it.

Alistair: Um...

Me: I'm not asking if you've had sex, either. I know.

Alistair: I'm vaguely uncomfortable, not being the center of attention.

Me: I'm resetting and we're doing this again and instead of getting that one point by being faux nice, I'm giving you one of Dog's bones so you'll ask me about your sister.

Alistair: I will not accept a bone!

Me: Yes. You will.

Alistair: So you're having sex out of jealousy over me?

Me: It's NOT ABOUT YOU, Alistair!

Alistair: *kicks a pebble* Is so.



*stalks across camp*



Me: I am ditching that walking tin can as soon as possible.

Leliana: I found some flowers. I wove them into a crown for you.

Me: Kiss me again and get the taste of arrogance out of my mouth?

Leliana: *laugh* All of it? Well...I could try, but to be frank, there is a lot of arrogance about your mouth. Not all of it from foreign sources.

Me: Well...then we'll be at it for a while, yes?

[sagevallant]

I <3 Leliana. But you all probably know that by now. There's a reason I don't do Leliana conversation snippets... they turn into slash fics >.>

[Recidiva]

Oh c'mon. Give.



I'm a Leliana convert. Just took the right character combination. An intimacy-deprived mage with a history of cutting. I'm convinced that's where blood magic got started.

[sagevallant]

Recidiva wrote...

Oh c'mon. Give.

I'm a Leliana convert. Just took the right character combination. An intimacy-deprived mage with a history of cutting. I'm convinced that's where blood magic got started.

I mean, sure, there's a lot of subtext in her past, and potentially she could be manipulating you, but I don't know to what end. Really, she's a woman with a troubled past who seems to want to become a good person. And is very touched that a certain world-saving hero enjoys her company. Maybe it's because I don't want more than bromance with Alistair, so Lel is the only love interest that seems genuine. Zev's sleazy and a dude, Morrigan is... well... I like her a little now that I actually saw it through to the end. But I still like Leliana more.

[Recidiva]

sagevallant wrote...

I mean, sure, there's a lot of subtext in her past, and potentially she could be manipulating you, but I don't know to what end. Really, she's a woman with a troubled past who seems to want to become a good person. And is very touched that a certain world-saving hero enjoys her company. Maybe it's because I don't want more than bromance with Alistair, so Lel is the only love interest that seems genuine. Zev's sleazy and a dude, Morrigan is... well... I like her a little now that I actually saw it through to the end. But I still like Leliana more.

Well, for this character in particular it's a nobrainer.  Sympathy for both troubled past and betrayal in particular.  Easy to believe you could go through that and still have a need for puppies and kittens along with the blood and the horror. 

I still haven't managed to really construct a character that would genuinely care for Morrigan.  I'll have to work on that one.  Seems even less rewarding than having a crush on Sten.

[Loki330]

Recidiva wrote...

Oh c'mon. Give.

I'm a Leliana convert. Just took the right character combination. An intimacy-deprived mage with a history of cutting. I'm convinced that's where blood magic got started.

I personally think Leliana's for the sort of character who needs devotion; I suppose in a ways a <charname> version of Alistair, insomuch as someone who loves the character for who they are.. Which doesn't make sense but I've had 36 hours sleep in 5 days so I'm entitled to ramble like a drunken bum.

[Recidiva]

Loki330 wrote...

I personally think Leliana's for the sort of character who needs devotion; I suppose in a ways a version of Alistair, insomuch as someone who loves the character for who they are.. Which doesn't make sense but I've had 36 hours sleep in 5 days so I'm entitled to ramble like a drunken bum.

Hehehe...happy sleep to you.

I think each NPC is written to experience genuine love.  It's just that for Morrigan, her ambition is going to trump that.  For Alistair, strict adherence to prescribed duty is going to trump that , and if you get that, there's no real way to "stay true" to that character without one or the other dying fairly horribly.  And Morrigan will always leave you.  I don't think there's actually much of a way to get around that with Morrigan, any attempt to discuss love results in rejection and disapproval.  So you have to think you're going to change her mind and win her over.  Same with Alistair really.

You can hang with Leliana and Zev without wanting to change them, though.  Both Leliana and Zevran have the potential to genuinely grow to love the NPC and get personal happy endings.  Especially if you take Loghain and nobody dies.  And Morrigan has no baby.  That's the one I'm going for now.  Everyone lives, no sacrifice required except for the ass that started it all.

They have the least to do with the plot and the least motivation to betray the PC in any way in particular for good or bad reasons.

[Seallyn]

Attacking the High Dragon outside the temple where the Urn of Sacred Ashes is kept.

Me: Holy crap that's a big dragon!
Leliana: (charges at giant dragon) Ahhhhhhhhh (song of valor)
2 seconds in to battle dragon grabs Alistair, another 2 seconds and Alistair is dead.
The rest continue to fight, Wynne seems to be the only one who can actually damage the dragon.
Me: Goodbye health poultices.
Shockingly this time around the dragon decides to not grab anyone else.
Finally after much begging and praying to the maker we are victorious. Alistair comes back to life.
Me: Alistair are you hurt?
Alistair: Just my bones....(sigh)...and internal organs.

Modifié par Seallyn, 10 décembre 2009 - 08:13 .

[Seallyn]

Also, something that came to mind while talking to Shale...



Shale: All sorts of birds would perch on me: pigeons, swallows....

Me: Swallows? Were they African or European swallows?

Shale: What I don't know that...AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (falls into a pit that suddenly appears out of nowhere.)

[Recidiva]

*in the Fade*



Duncan: Hello, am I-

Me: *starts beating Duncan to death*

Duncan: But this is - you're supposed to be -

Me: Hate...Grey...Wardens...HATE...YOU...stupid...nightmare...

Duncan: Wait! I can...uh....CULLEN? Can I get you Cullen?

Me: *thinks* No. Now I have to rescue Lel, your window of opportunity has closed.

Duncan: Damn.

Me: *dances on Duncan's corpse* Actually, I feel better. That was some closure. Good thing my robes are red, that's all I can say.



*wardens run and hide*

[Genraku]

Mageme: *stomps on Duncan's head in the fade*

Duncan: Wait! if this doesn't work I I can get you Cullen... or Alistair... or Cullen and Alistair in a tub full of chocolate and strawberries.

Me:What the? *checks under helmet* Oh.. wrong mage,

*female version of the Mage PC steps from behind the wall* Oh oops, geuss I shouldna taken that portal..

Duncan: Neither of them are--wait there's two fo you?

Me: Not talking to you.. shouldnt you be dead anyways?

Duncan: Close many times

Me: No no I mean literally right now.. Im standing on your neck in full plate mail... how can yout talk?

Duncan:I have strong vocal cords.

[Kaldir II]

Loki330 wrote...

but I've had 36 hours sleep in 5 days so I'm entitled to ramble like a drunken bum.

Hmmm, just over 7 hours sleep a day? Happy rambling

Anyway, very funny read this thread; good to see it's still going after 20+ pages. Keep it coming.

[Recidiva]

Kaldir II wrote...

Anyway, very funny read this thread; good to see it's still going after 20+ pages. Keep it coming.

Yay!  Thank you.  I've been having a great time

[Recidiva]

*on the Road*



Me: Honey, you know that song you sing, the Captivating one?

Leliana: Yes? It's quite useful, is it not?

Me: Very much so. But I'm wondering, it's not quite a....song, is it?

Leliana: I wondered that myself. It's really more of a bellow.

Me: Where did you learn that...uh...song?

Leliana: I picked it up her and there.

Me: What, at drunken Orlesian bars at about three in the morning?

Leliana: Maaaaaybe. *she skips ahead on the road, I run after her and there's giggling*

Morrigan: I have never felt more invisible in my life.

[Recidiva]

*at Camp*



Me: Okay, everyone listen up. Flemeth's dead.

Leliana: It was amazing! Nobody died! It's almost as if she let us win.

Me: It was pretty easy, wasn't it?

Leliana: You were wonderful!

Me: Thank you baby. You're my inspiration.

Morrigan: She's dead?

Me: That she is, here's your book.

Morrigan: And it was EASY?

Me: That it was.

Morrigan: So she didn't turn into a dra-

Me: AHA!

Morrigan...gon.

Leliana: Morrigan, you KNEW. And you didn't warn us! *eyes narrowing*

Me: *smirk*

Leliana: Can't trust anybody, can you?

Me: Except me.

Leliana: Except you. I almost felt sorry for that assassin you gutted, but not now.

Me: He tried to hurt you.

Leliana: What would I do without you?

Me: Wither and die. But I won't let that happen.

[Lauranis]

Xandurpein wrote...

One of the funniest lines in the game, is sometimes when you click to select Alistair and he has this bored voice:
Alistair: Do this, do that.

I love when he goes "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeess?", cracks me up everytime.

[Recidiva]

*an Epiphany in the Ruins*

Me: Okay, we're going back.
Wynne: Why?
Me: Zapping skeletons for 20 minutes when they're immune or resisting everything is no fun.
Wynne: Your'e a Grey Warden...the idea of fun is...
Me: The idea of FUN is paramount!
Wynne: I don't think you take your responsibilities seriously. Irving would be very disappointed.
Me: I HATE IRVING.
Wynne: Now I'm disappointed too.
Me: I'm lowering the difficulty rating because this is just silly. I know I can win the battle.
Wynne: Then why aren't you doing it?
Me: I'm going to do it. And it'll take two minutes instead of 20.
Morrigan: How will you manage this feat of...omniscience?
Me: I'm turning down the difficulty setting and we're trying it again.
Leliana: You...you can do that?
Me: Yes.
Leliana: You could have always done this? So all the times I died...all the times WE died...could have been prevented?
Me: Right. Resetting now. Fortunately you'll alllll forget this conversation and be imbued with a sense of invulnerability and faith in my leadership. Real soon.

*sound of two staves and one bow being pointed and/or readied*

Me: Options!  OPTIONS!

Modifié par Recidiva, 11 décembre 2009 - 07:52 .