2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Recidiva]

*bangs for order at the Landsmeet*



Me: I nominate Sandal for king!

*collective gasping and rabble*

Me: No, seriously. He is a badass little dude. I wouldn't want to try to take him on.

[Rythuria]

Just wanted to say this thread is great, thanks

[The Angry One]

Ser Gilmore: There you are! Your dog is..
Me: Giving nan a hard time, I know.
Ser Gilmore: Well ye..
Me: Actually he's finding the rats in the pantry, let's go.
Ser Gilmore: Oh ok, great. Say, did you se..
Me: A Grey Warden? Yes. But he's not here for you, he's here for me actually. Isn't that great?
Ser Gilmore: Oh! Oh... yeah.. super..

*later*

Howe: Oh hello again Lady Cousland, was there anything you wanted?
Me: Why yes, Arl Howe. I just wanted to tell my dog to kill you.
Howe: Ah I see, well.. wait, what?
Me: GET HIM BOY!!
*Dog jumps on Howe and mauls him to death*
Howe: Ow my neck.. no not my crotch! AIIIEEEEE!!
Bryce: WHAT THE!? What have you done!?
Me: Oh he had it coming, trust me.
Bryce: What.. but.. you killed him?! You killed our friend!
Me: Oh he's nobody's friend. Well I mean he isn't *now obviously.. *now* he's just a chew toy.
Dog: (happy bark)
Me: But he wasn't our friend before. Planning to kill us you know. Very nasty.
Bryce: What? But you can't just.. kill an Arl, pup! There will be consequences!
Duncan: I'm not sure why this has transpired, but nonetheless I hereby invoke the...
Me: Right of Conscription, make me a Grey Warden above all laws, gotcha. Let's go.
Duncan: Well, uh.. yes. Precisely.
Bryce: I am.. very confused.
Me: Oh and.. uh.. don't go to Ostagar, any of you. Stay right here and.. um.. you know, do what we usually do.
Fergus: What's this I hear? The war's off? I still get my ale and wenches though, right?
Me: *through teeth* don't make me regret this, brother dear.

Modifié par The Angry One, 01 décembre 2009 - 01:04 .

[Recidiva]

Rythuria wrote...

Just wanted to say this thread is great, thanks

Thank you so much.  I am grateful to have a place to park all this stuff while I giggle through my day.

[Recidiva]

The Angry One wrote...

Ser Gilmore: There you are! Your dog is..
Me: Giving nan a hard time, I know.
Ser Gilmore: Well ye..
Me: Actually he's finding the rats in the pantry, let's go.
Ser Gilmore: Oh ok, great. Say, did you se..
Me: A Grey Warden? Yes. But he's not here for you, he's here for me actually. Isn't that great?
Ser Gilmore: Oh! Oh... yeah.. super..

*later*

Howe: Oh hello again Lady Cousland, was there anything you wanted?
Me: Why yes, Arl Howe. I just wanted to tell my dog to kill you.
Howe: Ah I see, well.. wait, what?
Me: GET HIM BOY!!
*Dog jumps on Howe and mauls him to death*
Howe: Ow my neck.. no not my crotch! AIIIEEEEE!!
Bryce: WHAT THE!? What have you done!?
Me: Oh he had it coming, trust me.
Bryce: What.. but.. you killed him?! You killed our friend!
Me: Oh he's nobody's friend. Well I mean he isn't *now obviously.. *now* he's just a chew toy.
Dog: (happy bark)
Me: But he wasn't our friend before. Planning to kill us you know. Very nasty.
Bryce: What? But you can't just.. kill an Arl, pup! There will be consequences!
Duncan: I'm not sure why this has transpired, but nonetheless I hereby invoke the...
Me: Right of Conscription, make me a Grey Warden above all laws, gotcha. Let's go.
Duncan: Well, uh.. yes. Precisely.
Bryce: I am.. very confused.
Me: Oh and.. uh.. don't go to Ostagar, any of you. Stay right here and.. um.. you know, do what we usually do.
Fergus: What's this I hear? The war's off? I still get my ale and wenches though, right?
Me: *through teeth* don't make me regret this, brother dear.

AHAHAHA...

Conversely and on a sad note, just in case you can't pull it off.

Me:  Lady Iona, you are very, very ugly!  I'm not attracted to you at all and you shouldn't be out in the halls late at night for any particular reason.  Clear?  Am I clear?
Lady Iona:  Eep.

[Genraku]

Loghain: Lighting the beacon si not a dificult task but ti is vital.
Me: In that case how about YOU be on the front lines and WE can come flank the Darkspawn. Alistair can stand on teh ogre's back waving a candle.
Alistair: What--ogre?
Cailan: I will fight by Duncan's side, you will remember who is king!
Me: for all of five more minutes now shut up start walkign to  that hut.
Duncan: you shouldnt speak to the kin-
Me: and you'll follow him. No more questions children just get in the horse carriage before logain retreats his army over your head.

Alistair: *Sits on tower of Ishal roof waving a candle* Kinda nippy up here...

[Soepkommetje]

Greagoir: Who are you? I though I specifically instructed that mutt to not let anyone in.

Me: Yeah, I know, tower overrun with abominations and all. Don't worry, I'm here to kill them.

Greagoir: Wait, how do you...? Nevermind, I will welcome the help. Just know that-

Me: Only Irving's word is good enough, yeah, I know. Say, do you still keep the Litany of Adralla in the same place?

Greagoir: The what?

Me: Nevermind, I'll stumble across it as there's only one path up to the Harrowing chamber from here anyways. Don't you worry, Uldred will be dead soon enough.

Greagoir: How do yo-

Me: Gotta run, I need the mages asap to save a possessed boy in Redcliffe. Better prepare for the departure of 3 mages and Irving right away, I will be back in no time!

[ShadowKhan]

Me: Sten you've got to learn trap making

Sten: I'm bad at it and you know I'ma two hander.

Me: Your sword ain't that big and you got to make them anyway because you're guarding the gates at Denerim.

Sten: No

Me: yes you are, now make the damn traps and shutup.

Sten glares at me

Me: don't look at me like that and quit polishing your sword in camp you're making Zevran feel inferior and I need him at 100%.

Sten: whatever...

[Recidiva]

Me: Morrigan! Today we're going to learn ...dun dun duuuun. Spirit Healer!

Morrigan: Whaaat?

Me: It'll be fun! You get to heal me and stand in the back! Won't that be the awesomeness?

Morrigan: I hate you.

Me: Right back atcha, baby.

[Recidiva]

*upon setting difficulty higher*



*lying on the ground* C'mon, baby, c'mon, don't die...don't die..don't...

*stands up*

Me: You guys are awesome.

Alistair: I feel less awesome with the...holes in the gut..and the...is that all my blood?

Morrigan: I didn't think anyone could lose that much blood and live? Is that the case? Was I incorrect about my world view and now I'm dead and...trapped in the fade with you? No. I refuse.

Dog: *whine, tries to figure out which wounds to lick first and just lays down on the ground panting. There's no clear unbloodied patch of fur to pet*

Me: No, really, I never knew how much I needed you guys.

Alistair: That's great. We met five hours ago, you know. Let's not get all..share-ey. I'd prefer first aid to compliments.

Morrigan: I don't think pinching will wake me up. Certainly puncture wounds didn't.

Me: *throwing herself into a group hug*

Morrigan: Unfortunately that woke me up and not in a good way.

Alistair: Owwwww...*wince*

[Soepkommetje]

Riordan: You may have wondered why the Grey Wardens are actually required to battle the Blight.

Me: Nope, it's because the Grey Warden that slays the Archdemon absorbs the corrupted soul of the Old God, and dies in the process.

Alistair: Y- Wait, what? Where did you hear that?!?

Me (whispers to Alistair): Don't worry, I know of a loophole.

Me: Don't worry Riordan. You're the eldest, and want first dibs. If you fail, for instance by luring the Archdemon to you, hitching a ride, and then falling off to avoid massive impact with a solid tower but not before crippling it's wing so we can properly fight it; it will have to be one of us.

Riordan: Oh-kay...

Me: Come on Alistair, I've got a surprise for you!

[The Angry One]

Me: Sten, tell me about the Qunari.

Sten: No.

Me: Fine, I'll tell you. Your people originally came here from the other side of the ocean to the east, you have better technology than us but you treat your mages even worse than we do so you could never conquer us. Your homeland smells of tea and incense, you have never developed the idea of making sweet baked products, you have strict roles for everyone since birth that can never change and you don't understand how a woman can be a fighter any more than a man can be a priest. You are part of the Beresaad, obstensibly honorable warriors who can't lose the weapon they were given upon joining or be seen as traitors and deserters. Is that all accurate?

Sten: .......

Me: Well?

Sten: If you knew, then why did you ask me?

Me: I like messing with you.

Sten: I see...

[Recidiva]

*late at night in camp*



Me: *lurking, snickering*

Oghren: What? What the hell? Where...where is all the alcohol?!

Me: What's the matter, Oghren, are you missing something?

Oghren: I'm...I'm about to be sober! SOBER! Do you know what that means?

Me: I was hoping you could regale us with the Asschabs story before I reveal your stash.

Oghren: Where is it? By a Paragon's Tiny Peehole I swear to you!

Me: Right about now the hangover's setting in, you won't catch me. And Wynne will heal me if you do!

Wynne: No I won't!

Me: Coward. Oghren. Don't you want to be sober?

Oghren: Warden, if you do that, I will rain down holy firing dwarven revenge on you the likes of which you have never even conceived.

Me: What, you'll build a wall around me?

Oghren: He heh. Poetry. I'll recite poetry. My own. He-heh.

Me: Oh Maker...what have I done.

Oghren: You'd best start brewing mighty fast, missy, or make with the -

Me: *pulling out a bottle* You win. Please. Don't.

Oghren: That's right. I still got it.

[ShadowKhan]

Alstair: Why are you taking my health poltices away?

Me: Because you're addicted to them.

Alstair: Am not!

Me: yes you are, you need intervention and I need you to learn how to not get hit.

Alstair: Say what? I'm a warrior and warriors get hit. I need healing.

Me: Morrigan will heal you from now on.

Alstair: You know she can't heal...right?

Me: Well not yet, but she will...

Alstair: Let me have one?

Me: No you use them too quickly, now get your skill up or I'll use dog.

Alstair: You use dog anyway

Me: well there ya go.

[TastyLaksa]

Dragon age : Psychosis

[ComTrav]

Zathrian: Why have you come, outsider?

Me: Say, "human beings are highly illogical."

Zathrian: I do not understand. You're not even human. You're a dwarf, a child of the stone...

Me: Say it. Or I'm siding with the werewolves this time.

Zathrian: This time? How do you even know, I haven't explained about the Curse yet--

Me: Look, Captain Janeway didn't say anything I wanted her to say, and she turns into a Dragon and is a lot tougher to kill then you. Say it.

Zathrian: Human beings are highly illogical.

Me: Good, good...now say, "Live long and prosper."

[Feroxrex]

ComTrav wrote...

Zathrian: Why have you come, outsider?
Me: Say, "human beings are highly illogical."
Zathrian: I do not understand. You're not even human. You're a dwarf, a child of the stone...
Me: Say it. Or I'm siding with the werewolves this time.
Zathrian: This time? How do you even know, I haven't explained about the Curse yet--
Me: Look, Captain Janeway didn't say anything I wanted her to say, and she turns into a Dragon and is a lot tougher to kill then you. Say it.
Zathrian: Human beings are highly illogical.
Me: Good, good...now say, "Live long and prosper."

Lol.  Yep, when I heard Zathrian the first time I had to check the voice actors to see if that was really Tim Russ doing his voice.

I love this thread.  Hopefully, it will keep going and going.

[Rathengar]

*A fearsome cry goes throu the camp*



Sten: Who ate my cookies II! ?

Morrigan: It is probably that tiresome dog of hes ...

Dog: *innocent whine*

Me: Dont worry Sten , I got a solution . We will quest to find Recidiva . She bakes , cookies too ... We can probably get more from her.



(Probably gotta read whole thread in order to get it)

[Lucy Glitter]

I like to tactic my tactics now!

Bann Teagan: What...?

Lady Isolde: Tea-GAHHHN! You ha-

Warden: -Let's just hold up for one second here. I know your air head boy got himself abominated by some hot piece of ass demon. I also know that you are a complete cow! That ain't my concern at this moment, sister. If you damned well even think to say his bloody name one more bloody time, I will shove a giant goat up your behind and then proceed to feed you to my own dog! How's that for dramatic, Scarlett O'Hara?!

(Warden proceeds to put on some sunglasses and walk off into the sunset)



p.s Recidiva, you are incredibly good at making up responses for the companions. 

Modifié par Lucy_Glitter, 01 décembre 2009 - 09:26 .

[Silensfurtim]

this thread is awesome

[Kitty Fae]

Soepkommetje wrote...

Riordan: You may have wondered why the Grey Wardens are actually required to battle the Blight.
Me: Nope, it's because the Grey Warden that slays the Archdemon absorbs the corrupted soul of the Old God, and dies in the process.
Alistair: Y- Wait, what? Where did you hear that?!?
Me (whispers to Alistair): Don't worry, I know of a loophole.
Me: Don't worry Riordan. You're the eldest, and want first dibs. If you fail, for instance by luring the Archdemon to you, hitching a ride, and then falling off to avoid massive impact with a solid tower but not before crippling it's wing so we can properly fight it; it will have to be one of us.
Riordan: Oh-kay...
Me: Come on Alistair, I've got a surprise for you!

Me : I've seen the way you look at her.
Alistair : what? wait.. no.. you don't mean...
Me : I just want you to know, i'm not jealous.
Alistair : Now thats a relief..
Me : In fact, she told me she secretly likes you. I think you should go over to her room over there and make nice.
Alistair : Hey.. i think i heard this deal before.
Me : Sorry?
Alistair : Yeah. you tried to pawn me off to Anora too.
Me : Its not like that..
Alistair : Totally! You just hate me. admit it.
Me : Alistair.. i like you..
Alistair : Right..
Me : Just as a friend.
Alistair : I Knew it! I knew it. its that redhead, isin't it? just because lesbians are hot..
Me : Look, just go to the swamp witch's room alright? Don't say i never did you any favours.

[menasure]

Alistair: "we should go to red cliffe, earl eamon there can help us to defeat Loghain ... maybe call a landsmeet or something ..."
me: "Alistair, take your clothes off and go feed the dog as usual".
Alistair: "take my clothes off?"
me: "yes, i want to sell them to buy health poultices"
Alistair: "but i need those to play my part as grey warden and i'll look silly when i appear in public in my underwear"
me: "oops ... you got me i guess. (persuade) i just like to see you naked"
Alistair: *smiles* i knew you really liked me.
*months later at the landsmeet*
me: "my dear queen, now that we settled the royalty issue why don't we keep Loghain as new grey warden? i have a feeling i can use him, especially when there will probably be casualties amongst the grey wardens"
Alistair: "what? no i protest, this traitor ..."
queen: "have Alistair executed!"
me: "i knew it :p"
Alistair: "i just do not recognize you anymore"
me: "don't go crying on me now, you were always much closer with the dog."

Modifié par menasure, 01 décembre 2009 - 10:20 .

[Genraku]

trian: What are you doing out here when you're supposed to be at father's banquet?

Bhelen: Oh Hiya older brother, don't mind Trian, he's cranky.

Me: Yeah yeah Trian is the dick and Bhelen is playing nicey nice to throw off suspicion that he's really plotting to play me against trian and frame the survivor as a kinslayer so he can fight Harrowmont for the throne after father disowns him. Why don't we just save us all somet ime, go down to the proving arena for a 3way fight, winner gets exiled, becomes a grey warden, and picks the new king.

Bhelen: Rediculous I would do no such thing!

Me: Sure you would. Now get into the arena, Duncun should be arriving soon.

[Recidiva]

I LOVE waking up to more funny! And compliments. Compliments are awesome.

*listening intently to Harrowmont*
Me: Sir. Have you and Bhelen considered a walk off?
Harrowmont: Excuse me?
Me: You're both just such big drama queens I thought you'd really enjoy the venue. Set up the Proving with a catwalk and just strut it out, you and him.
Harrowmont: Strut?
Me: It'll be amazing. You can boost the Smith Caste revenues by making a fabulous collection and intimidate the nobles with the size of your codpiece. It appears that's all anybody really cares about down here anyway.
Harrowmont: Warden, I find this -
Me: Fine. Tell you what. What if we get Morrigan to drug/hypnotize Bhelen and then I stand on the balcony and kill Bhelen with an arrow to the throat while the techno is pounding.
Harrowmont:  Techno? You mean...golems with drums?  I just want what's best for Orzammar. 
Me: Sure you do, you double-dealing, spine-lacking pile of uselessness.
Harrowmont: I'm sure those are all valid criticisms.
Me: Of course they are. So...deal?
Harrowmont: *sigh* Deal. Can I wear one of those...those...around the neck things?
Shale: A featherboa?
Harrowmont: Yes. In teal. Teal is my color.
Shale: Of course you can. I'll provide the feathers.

Modifié par Recidiva, 01 décembre 2009 - 01:17 .

[Spaceweed10]

Recidiva wrote...

Mueller86 wrote...

Stripping down NPC's are we? http://img266.images...egaywardens.jpg

Hah!  Ironically Alistair and I were the only ones dressed for once.

You sleep with Alistair - wow, that is just....sad.