2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Recidiva]

*upon entering the basement in Honnleath*



Me: *sigh*

Alistair: That's a lot of...flamey...jumpy thingies...

Morrigan: It makes no sense. Is it a large flaming Ouija board? Those things that are used to frighten little girls at sleepover parties? Not that I've been to one, but I hear Alistair excels at pillow fights.

Alistair: You told!

Me: I hate this part.

Alistair: I thought you enjoyed the pil-

Me: No, not that. What do I do now.

Dog: *scratches self*

Me: Screw it. Girl dies. Not worth it.

Kitty: Can I just-

Me: No. Overly complicated and I'm just memorizing the answer anyway. How the hell was I supposed to figure that one out?

Kitty: Tell me about it. I've been down here for hundreds of years and I'm a cat. Just how much spatial recognition and puzzle solving skills do you think I retain in this form? Toss a ball of yarn and I'm distracted for six months!

Me: I have a ball of yarn, or should. Dog, did you get me the ball of yarn yet? We could deal.

Dog: *whine*

Me: Dammit. Fine. Girl dies. Sorry butterfly.

[Rathengar]

*In a deserted building*   (Difficulty nightmare)
Me: Okay listen up folks , next ro... Nooo dont open that door Alistair !
Bloodmage 1 : *Casts fireball*
Bloodmage 2: *Casts firebal*
Bloodmage 3: *Casts Chainlightning*
Alistair: Oh cr... *dies*
Liliana: Makers bre... *dies*
Me: I told y.. *dies*
Shale: I will crush you a.. *shatters*

Your journey ends ...

*Loading Game*

Me: Okay listen up folks, next ro.. *Forcefield Alistair*
Alistair: Heeey !
Me: Thats what happens when you dont listen . The plan is simple . Liliana you are most useless so you will run into the room and take all the first magics cast.  I will th...
Liliana: Iam useless ?
Me: Did i say useless ? i meant most usefull of course !   Anyway.... Shale you will run right and eat mage 3 think of him as a big bird !   Alistair you will  jump mage 2 to the left.  I will imprison mage 1 since hes yellow.
Alistair: He is yellow ? you mean chinese ?
Me: Excatly ! Now off you go Liliana  , and rest of you be ready  to charge when she goes down !
Liliana: But i dont want too d ..
Me: Dont worry i will resurrect you my dove .



(And yes i actualy won the fight  sacrificing my little dove, But i seriously hade trouple with that room haha)

[Genraku]

Weisshaupt duncan: we defeated

Me: you're a demon trying to convince me into believing the blight is done with blah blah, now just get out of my way so ic an kill the other demons, get the stat upgrades and stomp the sloth demon. Better yet. YOU fight the sloth demon, if you want me to believe you're Duncan, and I'll collect the loot.

[Mitridathes]

This is really good stuff, alot of them made me laugh



Keep up the good work!

[Rathengar]

You can solve kitty's puzzle this way:





But you are just making fun i take like normal

[Kosh_Naranek]

Foxd1e wrote...

wepeel_ wrote...

When people in your party die for good (like Jory and Daveth), all their items will end up in your inventory anyway, no need to strip them.

Lies. they do not. I've lost StarFang this way, boy was I pissed

Who on earth did you give StarFang to that ended up dying in an irretrievable fashion?

[Alphakiller]

Kosh_Naranek wrote...

Foxd1e wrote...

wepeel_ wrote...

When people in your party die for good (like Jory and Daveth), all their items will end up in your inventory anyway, no need to strip them.

Lies. they do not. I've lost StarFang this way, boy was I pissed

Who on earth did you give StarFang to that ended up dying in an irretrievable fashion?

alistair. landsmeet.

[Genraku]

Alistair being chomped on by a dragon: Ow. oww.. ow. a little help here?

*forcefield*

ah thanks.

*dragon continues to gnaw on the forcefield.. which doesnt protect against smells or saliva..*

*alistair eyes a drop of dragonspit that derips through the forcefield and lands on his shoulder* You can uh.. let me go now

Me: yes thats it, keep munching on the tin can, he has a chewy center!

*alistairs armor begins to turn green*

Alistair: I hate you.

[Genraku]

Alphakiller wrote...


alistair. landsmeet.

He didn't die, he left. He keeps his gear.

[ReubenLiew]

That sneaky russian... Hated it when the bugger ran off with some of my best armor.

Douche.

Thank god for auto saves!

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...

You can solve kitty's puzzle this way:


But you are just making fun i take like normal

Yeah, I've solved Kitty's puzzle three or four times.  But sometimes I just kill her.  It's not really fun or interesting the fifth time through. 

[Genraku]

Kitty:Meow

Me: I don't have time for this, The cat is a demon adn little girl there has to come with me.

Girl: But kitty doesn't like outside, I can't--

Me: ya know what, hell with it. she's too silly to see it, Kitty just posses her so I can kill you and be done with this already.

Shale: may I crush the fluffy talking foot warmer now?

[ShadowKhan]

In the beginning once more with a city elf:

Sheanni: Wake up!

Me: I don't want to

Sheanni: You know wha-

Me: Yes and the day is torture

Sheanni: I don-

Me: you wouldn't. Anyway I'll go act like I'm getting married to someone I don't and won't know so when I have to rescue them I'll take my 40 gold and let Vaughn have his fun with them...I'm outta here!

[Rathengar]

ShadowKhan wrote...

Me: you wouldn't. Anyway I'll go act like I'm getting married to someone I don't and won't know so when I have to rescue them I'll take my 40 gold and let Vaughn have his fun with them...I'm outta here!

Do you really get 40 gold ? quite alot of gold to start with in a new game if so.  I have allways turned him down when i been city elf..  But 40 gold to start with  ! ?    i would sell my own mother for that if it is so

[mysticforce42]

Rathengar wrote...

ShadowKhan wrote...

Me: you wouldn't. Anyway I'll go act like I'm getting married to someone I don't and won't know so when I have to rescue them I'll take my 40 gold and let Vaughn have his fun with them...I'm outta here!

Do you really get 40 gold ? quite alot of gold to start with in a new game if so.  I have allways turned him down when i been city elf..  But 40 gold to start with  ! ?    i would sell my own mother for that if it is so

I heard you have to stash it, else you'll lose it.  Either way, you can only access it once you can get back to the Alienage.

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...

Do you really get 40 gold ? quite alot of gold to start with in a new game if so.  I have allways turned him down when i been city elf..  But 40 gold to start with  ! ?    i would sell my own mother for that if it is so

*Recidiva now plays out her homicidal elven "Princess Stabbity" role by waiting around the corner and making sure Rathnegar doesn't get away with his nefarious briberrific deeds before she goes and tells everyone "YEAH I DID IT, WHO WANTS SOME?  YOU?  YOU WANT SOME?"*

She takes the money from Rathnegar's corpse and begins the game nice and rich and with righteous ragey goodness to warm her nights.

[Bali_of_Terenas]

Bodhan : I think you'll be...

Me : Yep goods and services got it...so with my killer discount how much for the kid?

Bodhan : Oh you need some enchantments...

Me : No I mean how much to actually buy him.

Bodhan : I don't...err...I mean...What do you want him for anyway?

Me : Well the way I see it I can wander all over the place and eventually put this Blight down or just set that little bugger loose and get reports on the bloodbath from the comfort of the Redcliff tavern. Sound good Sandal?

Sandal : ENCHANTMENT!

[ShadowKhan]

When I get off work I'll reload the saved game. I'm pretty sure I still have the gold.

[RickmanUK]

Heh Funny Thread.... One more too Add to it.



(Mage Origin Story)

Me: *Sighs* Jowan.... NO.

Jowan: But i Don't Want to become a Tranquil!

Me: Look... If i Help you, your gonna screw up thing's later on.

Jowan: No i won't i'll stop using Magic.. I will!

Me: *Glares*

Jowan: What?

Me: Look stop hiding it and Act like you have a Pair...

Jowan: But i'm not a Blood mage....

Me: Uh huh.... Riighht.

[mysticforce42]

Me: So, Alistair, go walk towards that grave yard.
Alistair: Ok, but shouldn't you guys be following me more closely?  I don't smell... well, it's not that bad.
Morrigan:  It seems that to you only because you cannot be downwind from yourself.
Alistair: It's the armor! It's making me sweat like a hog!
Morrigan: Hot are we? I can fix that for you.
Me: Alright, enough chatter.  Alistair, just go up there - the rest of us will be standing back here.
Alistair: Oooookay....*walks up*
Me: Morrigan, count to five and aim a Blizzard right behind Alistair.
Morrigan: How do you know I've been wanting to do that for ages?  But why?
Me: Just do it. You know you want to.
Morrigan: *casts Blizzard right behind Alistair*
Alistair: Arrgh! Darkspawn, werewolves and skeletons! Oh my!
Me: Surprise surprise.  Do worry big Al, just walk back towards us.
Alistair: Cold cold slippery slipper cold...
Me: *casts Tempest*
Alistair: OW!
Me: Morrigan, please cast Force Field on Alistair.
Morrigan: Can't we enjoy this sight a bit longer?
Me: If he dies, do *you* want to carry him?
Morrigan: Touche. *casts Force Field on Alistair*
Alistair: Coooooooold.
Me: I guess magic doesn't break the second law of thermodynamics.
Morrigan: I don't know what that means.
Me: Nevermind - time to loot!

[Recidiva]

*IN THE FADE*



Niall: *esc**esc**esc* - Andralla

Me: Wait.

Niall: What?

Me: Did you know you sound like Sean Bean with a hangover?

Niall: Who?

Me: Say "I care not." Well, basically you've been saying that all along.

Niall: Don't mind me.

Me: No, that's not it. You're close, but no Sean Bean.

Niall: *emo sigh*

Me: Dude. Hint. Mouse.

Niall: I saw the mouse holes but..

Me: Yes, I get it. You're tired. Everyone's tired it seems. Oh well, Sean Bean always dies anway. Or ends up looking confused and lost. It works for me.

[mousestalker]

Recidiva wrote...

*IN THE FADE*

Niall: *esc**esc**esc* - Andralla
Me: Wait.
Niall: What?
Me: Did you know you sound like Sean Bean with a hangover?
Niall: Who?
Me: Say "I care not." Well, basically you've been saying that all along.
Niall: Don't mind me.
Me: No, that's not it. You're close, but no Sean Bean.
Niall: *emo sigh*
Me: Dude. Hint. Mouse.
Niall: I saw the mouse holes but..
Me: Yes, I get it. You're tired. Everyone's tired it seems. Oh well, Sean Bean always dies anway. Or ends up looking confused and lost. It works for me.

Someone needs to discover the Sharpe's series on DVD.

[Bali_of_Terenas]

(random house in a random town)



Distraught NPC : Grey Warden thank goodness you've come! My life has been made terrible and I need your help.

Me : Really that's sad to hear, tell me more. I'll just make myself at home while you do.

Distraught NPC : Well you see my father...um why are you looking in my cabinet?

Me : Huh? Oh no reason, just looking around. Please continue (Morrigan check in that vase might be a healing potion in there).

Distraught NPC : (nervously) oh, well you see my fath...

Alistair : This chest is locked

Me : Leliana can you take care of that?

Leliana : (giggle)

Me : Later, just open the chest.

Distraught NPC : Are you even listening to me?

Me : Huh? Of course I am...lost father...dark spawn...rescue...I got it covered, just mark it on my map and I'll have him back to you in no time.

Distraught NPC : Err..Thanks...I guess

Me : No problem, it's what we Grey Wardens do. By the way do you know if anyone sells backpacks in town? (leaves with full inventory)

[Recidiva]

mousestalker wrote...


Someone needs to discover the Sharpe's series on DVD.

I settled on the Holy Trinity:  "Lord of the Rings" and "Silent Hill" and "National Treasure."

Hell, I played all of Oblivion not trusting a word he said and then got to the end.  Oh hell.  You're actually a GOOD guy?  I'm sorry, Sean...makes sense that it's Terrence Stamp being more eviller than you though.  He's Zod, you know.

[Endurium]

As with most games, I always feel a bit like in Groundhog Day when replaying.



NPCs are always making things seem urgent, but I know where the script triggers are and nothing will happen until I cross them, so just sit tight.