2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Rathengar]

Recidiva wrote...

*Recidiva now plays out her homicidal elven "Princess Stabbity" role by waiting around the corner and making sure Rathnegar doesn't get away with his nefarious briberrific deeds before she goes and tells everyone "YEAH I DID IT, WHO WANTS SOME?  YOU?  YOU WANT SOME?"*

She takes the money from Rathnegar's corpse and begins the game nice and rich and with righteous ragey goodness to warm her nights.

Aww Recidiva , you would kill me ?  I even offered you to marry me ! You certainly know how to turn down a guy with style ...
Besides you cant kill me i would just forcefield you , steal any cookie on you and then run away !

[The Angry One]

*Dead Trenches, Darkspawn march*



Alistair: It's the Archdemon! Everyone hide!

Me: Yes yes I know, just wait a while. Just need to finalize this equipment like so...

Alistair: What? Huh? What's all of this?

Me: Oh just something I set up yesterday~

Shale: Is this what it was up to all of yesterday when we couldn't find it?

Me: You catch on fast, rock girl.

Shale: Rock.. girl? What is it trying to imply?

Me: Nothing, you'll find out. anyway, just need to activate this anndd...

*explosive traps go off all around the Archdemon while ballistas shoot barbed spears into it's wings and legs, crippling it*

Alistair: How did you kn... never mind! The Archdemon's down! Stand back everyone, I shall deliver the final blow as only a Grey Warden can!

Me: No you won't.

Alistair: Why not? Give me one good reason!

Me: Well, you'll die.

Alistair: Okay that counts, but how do y..

Me: I just do okay? And who just crippled the Archdemon? ME.

Alistair: Alright alright... so... what do we do with it then?



--some time later, in Denerim..--



Sign: SEE THE ARCHDEMON - 50 SILVER, RIDE THE ARCHDEMON - 20 GOLD

Alistair: You... you profiteering harpy.

Me: Oh you're just upset because I won't let you ride it for free.

[Recidiva]

Endurium wrote...

As with most games, I always feel a bit like in Groundhog Day when replaying.

NPCs are always making things seem urgent, but I know where the script triggers are and nothing will happen until I cross them, so just sit tight.

Heh.  I've stood at the cutscene where Zev's attacking me just to make some more potions.  It really bugs me that I can't swap characters in camp and access their skills.  Particularly if you go to camp tapped out, scraping by and I know I need potions beacuse something's going to whomp on me when I leave before I reach my destination.

So half the time Morrigan or Wynne are fiddling with potions and I'm avoiding all the drama "Yeah, yeah, caravan..down...*cough* Ambush*  Wynne, you got a second?

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...


Aww Recidiva , you would kill me ?  I even offered you to marry me ! You certainly know how to turn down a guy with style ...
Besides you cant kill me i would just forcefield you , steal any cookie on you and then run away !

You are cute.  It's hard to kill you.  Hey!  That was...HEY!

*Kirk fist*  Raaaathne-gaaaar!

[Recidiva]

The Angry One wrote...

*Dead Trenches, Darkspawn march*

Alistair: It's the Archdemon! Everyone hide!
Me: Yes yes I know, just wait a while. Just need to finalize this equipment like so...
Alistair: What? Huh? What's all of this?
Me: Oh just something I set up yesterday~
Shale: Is this what it was up to all of yesterday when we couldn't find it?
Me: You catch on fast, rock girl.
Shale: Rock.. girl? What is it trying to imply?
Me: Nothing, you'll find out. anyway, just need to activate this anndd...
*explosive traps go off all around the Archdemon while ballistas shoot barbed spears into it's wings and legs, crippling it*
Alistair: How did you kn... never mind! The Archdemon's down! Stand back everyone, I shall deliver the final blow as only a Grey Warden can!
Me: No you won't.
Alistair: Why not? Give me one good reason!
Me: Well, you'll die.
Alistair: Okay that counts, but how do y..
Me: I just do okay? And who just crippled the Archdemon? ME.
Alistair: Alright alright... so... what do we do with it then?

--some time later, in Denerim..--

Sign: SEE THE ARCHDEMON - 50 SILVER, RIDE THE ARCHDEMON - 20 GOLD
Alistair: You... you profiteering harpy.
Me: Oh you're just upset because I won't let you ride it for free.

Oh God.  "You profiteering harpy" is just...*kisses fingers*

I swear, I laugh so hard I end up with this really unhealthy wheeze sound.  It's worth it.

[Recidiva]

The Saga of Difficulty Setting, Continued...

*wandering Denerim, scared...*

*reading a book in Wonders of Thedas, Morrigan finally ticks over to level 8*

Me: OhGodOhGodOhGod, please...pleeease.
Morrigan: What, what are you -
Me: YES! HEAL. Oh God. Oh. God. *deep sigh* *I dip Morrigan to the ground and kiss her hard*  You magnificent ****.
Morrigan: Are we...quite finished?
Me: Not sure. Less finished than we were a few minutes ago.
Morrigan: If this is how you inspire confidence...
Alistair: *raises a hand slowly* I'm inspired.

Modifié par Recidiva, 01 décembre 2009 - 11:07 .

[Keldon Northwind]

Sten: I have heard a lot about you Grey Wardens and-
Me: Yes, yes. I am not living up to your expectations because I'm 'winging' it.
Sten: Y-
Me: I know, I should improve upon it. So it's a work in progress, sue me. Besides, don't you have a sword or something to find?
Sten: How did you know about my sword?
Me: Something's been chafing you and it ain't the chain-mail you're wearing.
Sten: We sh-
Me. Yes, we should find it the day you can learn to stay alive in battle for more than three seconds. I swear, if you're the best there is it's a miracle you lot even managed to invade Par Vollen.
Sten: What?
Me. Nevermind. Just follow orders and we'll be fine.


Ah, Sten. You silly giant. Can dish out a tremendous amounts of damage but can't learn to stay alive for more than five seconds at a time. It's like he's a lodestone for punishment and spells.

[Rathengar]

Recidiva wrote...

The Saga of Difficulty Setting, Continued...

*wandering Denerim, scared...*

*reading a book in Wonders of Thedas, Morrigan finally ticks over to level 8*

Me: OhGodOhGodOhGod, please...pleeease.
Morrigan: What, what are you -
Me: YES! HEAL. Oh God. Oh. God. *deep sigh* *I dip Morrigan to the ground and kiss her hard*  You magnificent ****.
Morrigan: Are we...quite finished?
Me: Not sure. Less finished than we were a few minutes ago.
Morrigan: If this is how you inspire confidence...
Alistair: *raises a hand slowly* I'm inspired.

*raises hes hand* I'm inspired aswell , can i join your group ? I am a spirit healer

[ShadowKhan]

you do have to stash the gold. But you can pick it up later.

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...

*raises hes hand* I'm inspired aswell , can i join your group ? I am a spirit healer

Yes!  Yes, yes, yes.  Yes.  Oh yes.

*does the Spirit Healer dance in leather gear*

There's shimmying and boogeying and self-spanking and "uh huh, oh yeah" as part of the lyrics and general festive mood.

[m2abrams]

personally i think Recidiva is royally a brilliant writer, i only hope she is taking applications for party members.

[Recidiva]

m2abrams wrote...

personally i think Recidiva is royally a brilliant writer, i only hope she is taking applications for party members.

*stops for a moment from her tribal victory dance, holding Aodh over her head and chopping in all directions, working hip thrusts into the axe strut*

Thank you very much, you are most kind.

[m2abrams]

*offers faith's edge* better chopping action for the dance

[Recidiva]

m2abrams wrote...

*offers faith's edge* better chopping action for the dance

*puts some flame augmentations and twirls Faith's Edge like a combination quarterstaff/color guard flag*

Ooooh.  Flamey.  Niiiice.

[Genraku]

Recidiva wrote...

m2abrams wrote...

*offers faith's edge* better chopping action for the dance

*puts some flame augmentations and twirls Faith's Edge like a combination quarterstaff/color guard flag*

Ooooh.  Flamey.  Niiiice.

Yes. when they enable multiplayer, I wanna be in recidva's group purely for the banter..
I've got an arcaner warrior with a heal button and a forcefield and a mass paralze thigny.. can I come too?

also:
Sloth: Whats this an escaped slave? a
Me: For the love of Andraste's tattered sugar twits , can you shut up and fight me so i can get ut of here?
Sloth: I gave you peace--
Me: You gave me an hour of slogging through the fade trying to turn a rat into a fire licked footwarmer or a giant stone statue. I swear if you don't let me out fo here im going to burn a hole in you big enough to stuff Merlin AND HIS HAT through it.
Sloth: and quiet, and this si how you repay--
Me: Sod it. Shale  step on his head and shield your eyes a moment. You're wearing fire crystals right?
*ramps up a spellmighted flurry of  fireballs , firestorms , fireblasts ,thunder storms and even lightning bolts* lioghtning bolts* I'll BURN my way out if I have to!
Or better yet.. Mana clash. Bigger crater.

Modifié par Genraku, 02 décembre 2009 - 12:29 .

[Recidiva]

Genraku wrote...

Yes. when they enable multiplayer, I wanna be in recidva's group purely for the banter..
I've got an arcaner warrior with a heal button and a forcefield and a mass paralze thigny.. can I come too?

also:
Sloth: Whats this an escaped slave? a
Me: For the love of Andraste's tattered sugar twits , can you shut up and fight me so i can get ut of here?
Sloth: I gave you peace--
Me: You gave me an hour of slogging through the fade trying to turn a rat into a fire licked footwarmer or a giant stone statue. I swear if you don't let me out fo here im going to burn a hole in you big enough to stuff Merlin AND HIS HAT through it.
Sloth: and quiet, and this si how you repay--
Me: Sod it. Shale  step on his head and shield your eyes a moment. You're wearing fire crystals right?
*ramps up a spellmighted flurry of 437 fireballs 22 firestorms 26 fireblasts 32 thunder storms and a dozen lioghtning bolts* I'll BURN my way out if I have to!

Now THAT sounds like fun.  Multiplayer, that is.  Especially with people who have played already because otherwise I'd be chewing my lip off to avoid spoiling.

I just found the raspberry jam on the altar again.

A game with raspberry jam on an altar is just...too cool.

I'm just about out of triggerable party banter, I need the upgrade with real people.

[Rythuria]

Bet Recidiva could probably gather an army bigger than most of our Grey Wardens did with just forumites (including me)

[Recidiva]

Rythuria wrote...

Bet Recidiva could probably gather an army bigger than most of our Grey Wardens did with just forumites (including me)

Well...my army's fun.  Not many armies can say that.  So that's a boost in market share right there.  And there's a theme dance that's easy to learn.

And a campfire!  With marshmallows and ghost stories where we hold glowing weapons under our faces to cast an eerie glow!

[Soepkommetje]

It's not exactly the same as most other posts in this thread, but sometimes the game itself offers a pure stroke of comedy gold with no need to alter anything.



I still vividly remember the first time completing the Anvil of the Void questline. Listening to Caridin's story about how his invention caused him to be responsible for slavery of his own people because of a selfish king, and how he stayed willingly entombed in the deepest end of the Deep Roads to find a way to destroy the anvil that caused him and so many others so much suffering.



An epic battle between golems, my party, Branka and more golems ensues, and after way too long I finally stand victorious over the Paragon's corpse. (better not mention that in the Orzammar assembly...) Caridin thanks me, and I go ahead to destroy the anvil.



By hitting it with a hammer.



Seriously, for some genious Dwarf smith that Caridin had some quirky ideas about safety protocols. I wonder how many Anvils of the Void he accidentally destroyed by, you know, using them.

[Recidiva]

Soepkommetje wrote...

It's not exactly the same as most other posts in this thread, but sometimes the game itself offers a pure stroke of comedy gold with no need to alter anything.

I still vividly remember the first time completing the Anvil of the Void questline. Listening to Caridin's story about how his invention caused him to be responsible for slavery of his own people because of a selfish king, and how he stayed willingly entombed in the deepest end of the Deep Roads to find a way to destroy the anvil that caused him and so many others so much suffering.

An epic battle between golems, my party, Branka and more golems ensues, and after way too long I finally stand victorious over the Paragon's corpse. (better not mention that in the Orzammar assembly...) Caridin thanks me, and I go ahead to destroy the anvil.

By hitting it with a hammer.

Seriously, for some genious Dwarf smith that Caridin had some quirky ideas about safety protocols. I wonder how many Anvils of the Void he accidentally destroyed by, you know, using them.

This is true.  Not to mention having a thousand years to just drown the thing in buckets of lava.  Instead they went out and set up an elaborate game of dwarftrap.  So you guys couldn't chip away at the ledge either?

Of course all of these things rush to mind and I almost feel too embarrassed for Caradin's sake to bring it up.  Smart ass Warden that makes a thousand year old "genius" feel really stupid.

"Oh.  Well.  Yes, that would have...worked.  Bloody hell."

[m2abrams]

I figure that its just part of the wardens awesomeness. or perhaps it prays on the innate bad luck the warden has. his luck is just simply bad enough to cause an anvil to break when he uses it.

[ComTrav]

Recidiva wrote...

Soepkommetje wrote...

It's not exactly the same as most other posts in this thread, but sometimes the game itself offers a pure stroke of comedy gold with no need to alter anything.

I still vividly remember the first time completing the Anvil of the Void questline. Listening to Caridin's story about how his invention caused him to be responsible for slavery of his own people because of a selfish king, and how he stayed willingly entombed in the deepest end of the Deep Roads to find a way to destroy the anvil that caused him and so many others so much suffering.

An epic battle between golems, my party, Branka and more golems ensues, and after way too long I finally stand victorious over the Paragon's corpse. (better not mention that in the Orzammar assembly...) Caridin thanks me, and I go ahead to destroy the anvil.

By hitting it with a hammer.

Seriously, for some genious Dwarf smith that Caridin had some quirky ideas about safety protocols. I wonder how many Anvils of the Void he accidentally destroyed by, you know, using them.

This is true.  Not to mention having a thousand years to just drown the thing in buckets of lava.  Instead they went out and set up an elaborate game of dwarftrap.  So you guys couldn't chip away at the ledge either?

Of course all of these things rush to mind and I almost feel too embarrassed for Caradin's sake to bring it up.  Smart ass Warden that makes a thousand year old "genius" feel really stupid.

"Oh.  Well.  Yes, that would have...worked.  Bloody hell."

I always thought it was a kind of Asimov's "No golem shall harm the anvil or, through inaction, allow the anvil to come to harm" type of thing.
Although watching my mage shatter the anvil was silly. With a hammer. Instead of, say, a fireball or anything else.
I admit to speccing Arcane warrior so killing the Archdemon with a 2h sword at the end doesn't feel nearly as stupid.

[Recidiva]

ComTrav wrote...

I always thought it was a kind of Asimov's "No golem shall harm the anvil or, through inaction, allow the anvil to come to harm" type of thing.
Although watching my mage shatter the anvil was silly. With a hammer. Instead of, say, a fireball or anything else.
I admit to speccing Arcane warrior so killing the Archdemon with a 2h sword at the end doesn't feel nearly as stupid.

All respect to Asimov, but that law is logistically insane.  There's no way for a robot to calculate "harm" in any moment or know for any level of certainty what will or will not bring harm to something, certainly not lots of somethings.  The first robot that is asked to bring a human something that isn't 100% "not harm" will freeze and have a robot equivalent of nervous breakdown.  And there is no such thing as 100% not harm anywhere available for robots to find refuge.

As a concept it's ridiculous.  It's one of those endless loops that should make any processor burn out   The amount of data crunching that it would require to constantly calculate "harm" and consequence relative to "harm" would make any other subroutine lock up and melt.

[Rathengar]

Leliana: Have anyone seen Schmooples ? I cant find him.

Me: Have you looked in your tent ?

Leliana: Yes i been to everybody's tent's and search.

Me: Well lets try search abit for him th..

Oghren: *burps* he heh

Wynne: Oh my ...

Liliana: Oghren ! Did you ... did you eat Schmooples ! ?

Oghren: .....

Liliana: How could you ! ?

Oghren: Oh by my sodding ancestor's i'll get you a new one then woman ... dont be hysterical .

[Recidiva]

"Schmooplicious" has now entered the vocabulary of the cruel.