2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Xandurpein]

Recidiva wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...

That is a probably a part of it. On the whole I think I have a very "expressive" body language. So whenever someone has a more muted body language I just don't pick it up. And then people simply don't expect someone who talks a lot to be shy.

Right.  It's usually the eyes and whether or not someone tries to touch you while you're talking, like...if you tell a joke and someone puts their hand on your arm to say "that's so funny!"

LOL. I am sooo terrible with that. I forget to look people in the eys all the times. I actually ruined a date once because I was trying really intently to listen to what she said, and she thought I was just staring at her bosom. I didn't even notice where my eyes where.

[Recidiva]

Xandurpein wrote...

LOL. I am sooo terrible with that. I forget to look people in the eys all the times. I actually ruined a date once because I was trying really intently to listen to what she said, and she thought I was just staring at her bosom. I didn't even notice where my eyes where.

Oh yeah.  Deal killer.  Eye contact is absolutely key.  And just staring at the lips isn't good either.

[Xandurpein]

Recidiva wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...

LOL. I am sooo terrible with that. I forget to look people in the eys all the times. I actually ruined a date once because I was trying really intently to listen to what she said, and she thought I was just staring at her bosom. I didn't even notice where my eyes where.

Oh yeah.  Deal killer.  Eye contact is absolutely key.  And just staring at the lips isn't good either.

Being awkward has it's positive sides too. It's an unending fount of creative inspiration for writing. I actually used that scene with me staring at her breasts by mistake as part of a mod I made for NWN2.

nwvault.ign.com/View.php

(Shamless promotion )

[Zachriel]

In my case, shyness is too weak a word. It's almost like stage fright. Any time I meet a new person, male or female, I shut down. I just. . can't. . say anything. I'll respond to direct questions, and that's about it. It takes time and repeated encounters with someone before I'll finally open up to them.



I know myself well enough to know that the best way to get me to open up is to talk about something I'm interested in or know a lot about. Small talk and polite conversation will get you nowhere, and that's always how everybody starts out. When I don't respond, I am summarily dismissed and never given another chance.



I was sent to the school shrink 3 times when I was growing up because I was sooo quiet everyone thought there had to be something wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder if they were right.

[sagevallant]

Recidiva wrote...

Well, since I'm usually only hanging out with someone I'd have fun with either way, sex or talking or movies or games or whatever...

Not a problem.

I don't understand why someone would hang out with someone whose company they can't stand in the meantime, waiting for sex to happen.

Hanging out with someone you can't stand hoping to eventually reach sex is the High School Guy approach to dating.

I've had first dates go both ways. This one girl was convinced that I didn't like her because I was quiet and didn't look at her much; this was because I am socially awkward and thought she was cute, but we didn't really have a damn thing in common so where do you start a conversation? 

Opposite: This other girl I dated, well, we met online and our first date ended up being in a hotel room because she got VERY LOST trying to get there. This was a recurring theme with her. Anyway, so yeah, we put on our swimsuits and jumped in the jacuzzi. Then after a while we took them off and jumped in the shower. Now, we'd been talking online for pretty much hours every night, and she was much more talkative than the first girl, so we never really had that awkward silence time. I will say, though, that it's hard to focus on the face of a cute girl when she's in a bikini the first time you meet her.

[Recidiva]

Zachriel wrote...

In my case, shyness is too weak a word. It's almost like stage fright. Any time I meet a new person, male or female, I shut down. I just. . can't. . say anything. I'll respond to direct questions, and that's about it. It takes time and repeated encounters with someone before I'll finally open up to them.

I know myself well enough to know that the best way to get me to open up is to talk about something I'm interested in or know a lot about. Small talk and polite conversation will get you nowhere, and that's always how everybody starts out. When I don't respond, I am summarily dismissed and never given another chance.

I was sent to the school shrink 3 times when I was growing up because I was sooo quiet everyone thought there had to be something wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder if they were right.

Personalities are interesting things.  I like the Myers-Briggs personality tests that determines personality types.

My type is the "Counselor Idealist" which makes up about 1% of the population.

My husband and I are both very high-functioning social people, but we're technically "introverts" - which doesn't mean that we're shy...it means that we prefer one on one interaction and being in big groups is exhausting. 

Extroverted personalities gather energy from big groups, I get drained by them.  My daughter's a massive extrovert and that just makes me tired.

So for me if I'm upset, I want to be left absolutely and completely alone.  For other people, they want to go out to a party and have fun.  But that's my personal hell.

[Recidiva]

sagevallant wrote...

Hanging out with someone you can't stand hoping to eventually reach sex is the High School Guy approach to dating.

I've had first dates go both ways. This one girl was convinced that I didn't like her because I was quiet and didn't look at her much; this was because I am socially awkward and thought she was cute, but we didn't really have a damn thing in common so where do you start a conversation? 

Opposite: This other girl I dated, well, we met online and our first date ended up being in a hotel room because she got VERY LOST trying to get there. This was a recurring theme with her. Anyway, so yeah, we put on our swimsuits and jumped in the jacuzzi. Then after a while we took them off and jumped in the shower. Now, we'd been talking online for pretty much hours every night, and she was much more talkative than the first girl, so we never really had that awkward silence time. I will say, though, that it's hard to focus on the face of a cute girl when she's in a bikini the first time you meet her.

Yes, I suppose that does make the "first date" for me tend to be a "meet at the airport and try not to rip each other's clothes off in the car" thing.  But that could be after six months or a year of hanging out online together.

[Zachriel]

So for me if I'm upset, I want to be left absolutely and completely alone. For other people, they want to go out to a party and have fun. But that's my personal hell.

This I can understand completely. Silence and solitude are the most comforting things in the world to me. The more people there are around me, the more uncomfortable I become.



But, even one on one I am slow to open up to people. I'm told my silence often makes people feel uncomfortable around me. My current best friend didn't like me at all when we first met because of it. Now, hell. . . we're practically brothers, but it took time. Months, in fact. Probably the only reason we ever became friends at all is because we were coworkers first, so I HAD to talk to him every day.

[Xandurpein]

Obtusifolius wrote...

P.S. Sorry for butting into your conversation

Hey! It's a forum. Everyone is invited

[Recidiva]

Obtusifolius wrote...

Exactly the same here. I'll be so busy thinking 'saysomethingsaysomethingsaysomething' that I won't be able to think of something to say. It's gotten to the point where I no longer use my mobile, and I have trouble even speaking to my own family if I haven't seen them for a while.

However, I used to be the exact opposite. I used to be outgoing and extremely talkative, never had any problems. It's only been over the last two years that I have become like this.

Talk to me about RPGs though, and I can talk forever.

P.S. Sorry for butting into your conversation

And don't you hate it when you're in a shop and the person at the till asks how your day has been? 'Yeah, fine thanks... er.' All the while desperately hoping they don't think I'm being rude <_<

I'm pretty good at picking up what someone wants to hear.  Which is why groups of people can be really demanding.  I'm kinda busy giving other people what they want and usually not getting what I want...which is often...quiet.

Online stuff is better for me just because I can choose my topics and then choose my companions and I can also...escape all of the accompaniments to large crowds.  Noise, smoke, heavy perfume...exits too far away...

[Xandurpein]

Recidiva wrote...
Online stuff is better for me just because I can choose my topics and then choose my companions and I can also...escape all of the accompaniments to large crowds.  Noise, smoke, heavy perfume...exits too far away...

You know, I think what I am often sort of the reverse of what you describe. I can easily escape in crowds. I just look inwards and start thinking about something and the world around me sort of fades away, if I need it. That is a lot easier to do in crowds. I know it can be awfully infuriating for the other part one on one.

[Recidiva]

Xandurpein wrote...

You know, I think what I am often sort of the reverse of what you describe. I can easily escape in crowds. I just look inwards and start thinking about something and the world around me sort of fades away, if I need it. That is a lot easier to do in crowds. I know it can be awfully infuriating for the other part one on one.

Yup, at most parties I'll just usually be...on the dance floor with everyone, which is fine and great and I love that.

Or...in a room away from everyone else or out in the yard...away from everyone. 

I can do the "inner escape" thing, but that's the point really, if I need to do it, it's probably just time to leave.

[Xandurpein]

Recidiva wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...

You know, I think what I am often sort of the reverse of what you describe. I can easily escape in crowds. I just look inwards and start thinking about something and the world around me sort of fades away, if I need it. That is a lot easier to do in crowds. I know it can be awfully infuriating for the other part one on one.

Yup, at most parties I'll just usually be...on the dance floor with everyone, which is fine and great and I love that.

Or...in a room away from everyone else or out in the yard...away from everyone. 

I can do the "inner escape" thing, but that's the point really, if I need to do it, it's probably just time to leave.

I think I work best one on one too. I have this insatiable curiosity that sometimes makes me really obnoxious in big groups. I love to keep asking questions to understánd things (or worse make statements that really were meant to be questions...) in a way that can be nice and even attentive one on one, but often end up with me taking way too much space in bigger groups.

Other times I can talk to someone and for some reason something sparks an idea, like a thought or maybe something I could work into some story and *puff* I'm gone inwards, just like that. Confuses the hell out of people sometimes.

I agree about "it's probably just time to leave.", but sometimes it happens so fast it's really not very polite and I need to shape up and try to be a better friend.

[Recidiva]

Xandurpein wrote...

I think I work best one on one too. I have this insatiable curiosity that sometimes makes me really obnoxious in big groups. I love to keep asking questions to understánd things (or worse make statements that really were meant to be questions...) in a way that can be nice and even attentive one on one, but often end up with me taking way too much space in bigger groups.

Other times I can talk to someone and for some reason something sparks an idea, like a thought or maybe something I could work into some story and *puff* I'm gone inwards, just like that. Confuses the hell out of people sometimes.

I agree about "it's probably just time to leave.", but sometimes it happens so fast it's really not very polite and I need to shape up and try to be a better friend.

I'm pretty good at finding groups to be involved with if I need them.  Usually for me it's a choir or a theater group or even a religious or spiritual or charity organization.

But I haven't done that lately and even my job is at home.  My social life is online and through my husband or kids.  And I'm pretty happy that way, though I understand it would make other people completely stir crazy. 

[Xandurpein]

Recidiva wrote...

I'm pretty good at finding groups to be involved with if I need them.  Usually for me it's a choir or a theater group or even a religious or spiritual or charity organization.

But I haven't done that lately and even my job is at home.  My social life is online and through my husband or kids.  And I'm pretty happy that way, though I understand it would make other people completely stir crazy. 

Kids are indeed a great lifeline to the real world. My wife has to put up with a lot too, bless her ("Hey, I was talking to you!") because I'm fortunate enough to have a job where I can be almost as single-mindedly curious as I want, so there is really no social training there...

Modifié par Xandurpein, 10 janvier 2010 - 09:09 .

[Zachriel]

And don't you hate it when you're in a shop and the person at the till asks how your day has been? 'Yeah, fine thanks... er.' All the while desperately hoping they don't think I'm being rude

I know the feeling, but I've got one worse than talkative sales clerks. I travel for a living, and I live in Las Vegas. I get soooo tired of all the attempted small talk at security stations in air ports. Every time I show my id to a TSA agent when I'm leaving for work for the week, I get the same questions. "Leaving Vegas, eh? Why would you want to do that?" When I'm coming home for the weekend, it's always "Ooooh, Vegas! Gambling man, eh? Try not to lose all your money in those casinos!"



And every time, what I really really want to say is "**** off. Do your job, check my id, and let me get on my goddamn plane." But of course, I don't actually say anything of the sort. I just smile through gritted teeth and go on my way.



In crowds. . . I don't do well in crowds. I can escape inward, and that's exactly what I do every time. I'm always off in a corner somewhere, lost in my own world, ignored by everyone else around me. What I find to be really fascinating is what people will say right in front of me when they either don't know or dont care that I'm present. I always know more about everyone around me than they do about me.



The worst thing about my social ineptitude is that I'll probably spend the rest of my life alone. It's hard to make a lasting first impression with anyone when you just can't speak more than a few words at a time the first time you meet them, and most people won't bother putting in the time and effort it takes to really get to know me. It's a limitation within myself, and I don't know how to fix it or work around it. I've been given all kinds of advice by all kinds of people, but nothing ever works. I've tried meeting people online first, but it's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I am one person online, and a completely different person face to face. One has no problem communicating, and will write emails multiple pages long. The other can't say a word past "Hey, how's it going?"

[Burnheart]

Zachriel, thats a pretty good desciption of what i'm like exept i'm not that comfortable communicating

online.

[Seallyn]

Zachriel wrote...


I know the feeling, but I've got one worse than talkative sales clerks. I travel for a living, and I live in Las Vegas. I get soooo tired of all the attempted small talk at security stations in air ports. Every time I show my id to a TSA agent when I'm leaving for work for the week, I get the same questions. "Leaving Vegas, eh? Why would you want to do that?" When I'm coming home for the weekend, it's always "Ooooh, Vegas! Gambling man, eh? Try not to lose all your money in those casinos!"

And every time, what I really really want to say is "**** off. Do your job, check my id, and let me get on my goddamn plane." But of course, I don't actually say anything of the sort. I just smile through gritted teeth and go on my way.

In crowds. . . I don't do well in crowds. I can escape inward, and that's exactly what I do every time. I'm always off in a corner somewhere, lost in my own world, ignored by everyone else around me. What I find to be really fascinating is what people will say right in front of me when they either don't know or dont care that I'm present. I always know more about everyone around me than they do about me.

The worst thing about my social ineptitude is that I'll probably spend the rest of my life alone. It's hard to make a lasting first impression with anyone when you just can't speak more than a few words at a time the first time you meet them, and most people won't bother putting in the time and effort it takes to really get to know me. It's a limitation within myself, and I don't know how to fix it or work around it. I've been given all kinds of advice by all kinds of people, but nothing ever works. I've tried meeting people online first, but it's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I am one person online, and a completely different person face to face. One has no problem communicating, and will write emails multiple pages long. The other can't say a word past "Hey, how's it going?"

Crowds suck!  Especially large ones.  I can manage a crowd if I have to, but I prefer one on one.  You know sitting in a quiet coffee shop just talking or even just reading (I had a friend of mine we would go to B&N and sometimes just sit there and write or read, no talking).

And by the by, you don't seem to be socially inept to me.  Just because you're not a social butterfly doesn't mean you need to change.  If your happy that's all that matters, at least in my opinion, for what it's worth.
(As long as your happiness doesn't involve killing and dismembering people and the like ...in reality.)

[Zachriel]

And by the by, you don't seem to be socially inept to me. Just because you're not a social butterfly doesn't mean you need to change. If your happy that's all that matters, at least in my opinion, for what it's worth.

Thanks. I am, for the most part, content. I've got a good job with good pay and great benefits, and a few good friends. But, I do sometimes think it would be nice to have, you know a female companion to spend my life with. Between my job and my inability to express myself well in person, that just doesn't seem likely to happen any time soon and it's frustrating sometimes.

[Seallyn]

Zachriel wrote...

Thanks. I am, for the most part, content. I've got a good job with good pay and great benefits, and a few good friends. But, I do sometimes think it would be nice to have, you know a female companion to spend my life with. Between my job and my inability to express myself well in person, that just doesn't seem likely to happen any time soon and it's frustrating sometimes.

Dude I feel ya!  *Points at self*  Most of the time I'm pretty ok with not being with anyone, but everywhere once in awhile it'll sneak up on me and, BAM!  Lonelyville.  (I'm... so... ronery, so ronery, so ronery and sadry arone (heh heh, sorry I had to do it. ))  But it passes.  Besides I would rather have that then a lifetime of misery from being with someone out of desperation, like most of the women in my family.  Serious case of dependency issues there.  Boo. 

If you don't mind me asking, where do you get to travel to? 

[Zachriel]

If you don't mind me asking, where do you get to travel to?

My office handles all of North America. Occasionally, we are called upon to help out our offices in Europe, Australia, and East Asia as well, though we're trying to get some more people hired over there so we can cut down on the international travel. It's expensive.

[nyxocity]

In the Dalish Camp...

Morrigan: What is this ratty thing you insist on putting 'round my waist? It smells like rotting vegetation.
Me: It's an Elfrope. It'll increase your nature resistance.
Morrigan: Oh, yes. I'm certain that will be quite helpful against the Darkspawn, natural as they are. Perhaps the smell will chase them off.
Me: *mutters* It's also supposed to 'reduce hostility'.
Alistair: *laughing* You think that'll actually work? On her?
Me: Never stops me from trying.
*
Trying to play through all dialogue options on the third time around...

Me: Come, Callum, let me educate you privately about what a woman really wants.
Callem: Okay.
(Presently)
Morrigan: You are a wicked woman, truly. I approve.
Leliana: How terrible of you! That poor boy!
Callum: You're a bad, bad person.
Alistair: Has anyone seen my hair gel?
Me: ...
Alistair: What? My hair is sticking to my forehead. Makes it itch something terrible.
Me: *throws hands up*

upon reloading and trying again...

Me: *waves magic wand of persuasion* Congratulations, Callum and Gheyna.
Leliana: Oh, true love! It's so wonderful!
Morrigan: Yes. Now they can continue to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives. Brilliant, really.
Me: Alistair, look! True love! Isn't it wonderful how we've brought them together. You know. With love? *bats eyelashes*
Alistair: Who ate all the cheese? *pouting* I was really looking forward to that. And it's almost lunch time, too.

Later...

Me: ... You're at like 88% or something Adore, but I can take Callum's virginity, practically right in front of you, and you're Switzerland? Or, I can unite him with his true love, and you're still Switzerland?
Alistair: ... What's Switzerland?

Later still...

Me: Alistair... remember the other day when you asked if I had feelings for you? And then you kissed me and told me I was beautiful?
Alistair: Yes.
Me: And now that we're in camp, if I asked you to my tent, you'd say yes, right?
Alistair: Well, yes.
Me: *runs party back and forth through Dalish Camp conversation triggers*
Morrigan: Is there a reason we've gone down this path a dozen times in the last half an hour?
Me: *stares at Alistair*
Alistair: What?
Me: Isn't there something you want to give me?
Alistair: That murderous look in your eyes means I'm supposed to say yes.
Me: Right. So...?
Alistair: Um...
Me: Something with petals, perhaps?
Alistair: Oh! I thought maybe it was a bit soon for that.
Me: You're one approval point away from asking me to spend the night.
Alistair: How do you know all of this?
Me *sigh*

Modifié par thenyxie, 11 janvier 2010 - 06:43 .

[sagevallant]

It just occurred to me how similar Leliana is to the red-headed psycho chick from Wedding Crashers... >.>

[Seallyn]

thenyxie wrote...

In the Dalish Camp...

Morrigan: What is this ratty thing you insist on putting 'round my waist? It smells like rotting vegetation.
Me: It's an Elfrope. It'll increase your nature resistance.
Morrigan: Oh, yes. I'm certain that will be quite helpful against the Darkspawn, natural as they are. Perhaps the smell will chase them off.
Me: *mutters* It's also supposed to 'reduce hostility'.
Alistair: *laughing* You think that'll actually work? On her?
Me: Never stops me from trying.
*
Trying to play through all dialogue options on the third time around...

Me: Come, Callum, let me educate you privately about what a woman really wants.
Callem: Okay.
(Presently)
Morrigan: You are a wicked woman, truly. I approve.
Leliana: How terrible of you! That poor boy!
Callum: You're a bad, bad person.
Alistair: Has anyone seen my hair gel?
Me: ...
Alistair: What? My hair is sticking to my forehead. Makes it itch something terrible.
Me: *throws hands up*

upon reloading and trying again...

Me: *waves magic wand of persuasion* Congratulations, Callum and Gheyna.
Leliana: Oh, true love! It's so wonderful!
Morrigan: Yes. Now they can continue to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives. Brilliant, really.
Me: Alistair, look! True love! Isn't it wonderful how we've brought them together. You know. With love? *bats eyelashes*
Alistair: Who ate all the cheese? *pouting* I was really looking forward to that. And it's almost lunch time, too.

Later...

Me: ... You're at like 88% or something Adore, but I can take Callum's virginity, practically right in front of you, and you're Switzerland? Or, I can unite him with his true love, and you're still Switzerland?
Alistair: ... What's Switzerland?

Later still...

Me: Alistair... remember the other day when you asked if I had feelings for you? And then you kissed me and told me I was beautiful?
Alistair: Yes.
Me: And now that we're in camp, if I asked you to my tent, you'd say yes, right?
Alistair: Well, yes.
Me: *runs party back and forth through Dalish Camp conversation triggers*
Morrigan: Is there a reason we've gone down this path a dozen times in the last half an hour?
Me: *stares at Alistair*
Alistair: What?
Me: Isn't there something you want to give me?
Alistair: That murderous look in your eyes means I'm supposed to say yes.
Me: Right. So...?
Alistair: Um...
Me: Something with petals, perhaps?
Alistair: Oh! I thought maybe it was a bit soon for that.
Me: You're one approval point away from asking me to spend the night.
Alistair: How do you know all of this?
Me *sigh*

Ha!  One of the things I love and hate about Alistair.

*Whilst in camp*
PC: I would like to talk to you about something private...
Alistair: Well we are in camp, here's as good a place as any to talk right?
PC: (Kiss him)
Alistair: Oh I see, well I would be a fool to refuse.
*PC kisses Alistair*

*Later after another quest or two*
Blah blah flower scene then...
*Alistair kisses PC*
Alistair: That wasn't too soon was it?
PC: Uh...didn't I already kiss YOU?
Alistair: I don't think so...
*PC throws hands in the air*
PC: WTF man? 
Alistair: Maker your beau..
PC: Oh, just shut the hell up!