2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Seallyn]

Or another continuity problem...



*After the Landsmeet, Anora is queen*



PC: Alistair we need to talk.

Alistair: This is what I get for being king, everyone comes to me with their problems....

PC: Ok first off, you are NOT king. Unless you went behind my back and married Anora or killed her or something. Second, I'm supposed to be your lover, I should be able to ask you whatever the f*** I want. Do you have to have such an attitude?

Alistair: Oh...I'm sorry. What is it that you wanted....

PC: No forget it. Go kill the archdemon on your own, ass. I'm out.

[Recidiva]

Seallyn wrote...


Ha!  One of the things I love and hate about Alistair.

*Whilst in camp*
PC: I would like to talk to you about something private...
Alistair: Well we are in camp, here's as good a place as any to talk right?
PC: (Kiss him)
Alistair: Oh I see, well I would be a fool to refuse.
*PC kisses Alistair*

*Later after another quest or two*
Blah blah flower scene then...
*Alistair kisses PC*
Alistair: That wasn't too soon was it?
PC: Uh...didn't I already kiss YOU?
Alistair: I don't think so...
*PC throws hands in the air*
PC: WTF man? 
Alistair: Maker your beau..
PC: Oh, just shut the hell up!

Yup.  It's not just game-to-game amnesia that he suffers.  It's general amnesia.

"I'm sorry...of course your whole family was slaughtered..."

"Of course!  The treaties!"

I don't kiss him first or ask him to sleep with me first any more.  Hurts my feelings.

[nyxocity]

Seallyn wrote...

Ha!  One of the things I love and hate about Alistair.

*Whilst in camp*
PC: I would like to talk to you about something private...
Alistair: Well we are in camp, here's as good a place as any to talk right?
PC: (Kiss him)
Alistair: Oh I see, well I would be a fool to refuse.
*PC kisses Alistair*

*Later after another quest or two*
Blah blah flower scene then...
*Alistair kisses PC*
Alistair: That wasn't too soon was it?
PC: Uh...didn't I already kiss YOU?
Alistair: I don't think so...
*PC throws hands in the air*
PC: WTF man? 
Alistair: Maker your beau..
PC: Oh, just shut the hell up!

Seriously. Where is my effing rose, dude? Isn't that supposed to be first up on the "Do you like me? Circle Yes or No" playthrough? Doesn't that precede you kissing me the first time? How is it possible you're very soon going to ask me to spend the night and have yet to give me the rose? I'm worried something may have glitched on my playthrough this time. Or maybe I got his approval up too high, too early and now I just have to wait. I vowed that he was going to ask me for tent time, this time, though.

I've actually never had that thing with the kissing happen that I noticed, but I believe it. The other thing that drives me nuts? Is when I'm not even romancing Lel or Zev but he wants me to break things off with them because my approval with them is too high.

Alistair: So you and Leliana?
Me: We're just friends.
Alistair: Right, so this thing with you and Leliana.
Me: But we're just FRIENDS.
Alistair: It would be wrong to lead her on...
Me: Just. Friends. JUST FRIENDS!
Alistair: You're going to have to choose.
Me: F-R-I-E-N-D-S!!!!
Alistair: Who do you want?
Me: YOU. But--
Alistair: I'm so lucky you chose me.
Me: AUGH!

And then...

Leliana: Hi!
Me: I think we need to end this. I have no idea what I'm ending or why I have this dialogue option, but Alistair over there insists.
Leliana: Oh. But I thought...
Me: Thought what?
Leliana: You know. That you and I were more than just friends. (disapproves -15)
Me: AUGH!

Modifié par thenyxie, 11 janvier 2010 - 08:54 .

[Seallyn]

thenyxie wrote...


Seriously. Where is my effing rose, dude? Isn't that supposed to be first up on the "Do you like me? Circle Yes or No" playthrough? Doesn't that precede you kissing me the first time? How is it possible you're very soon going to ask me to spend the night and have yet to give me the rose? I'm worried something may have glitched on my playthrough this time. Or maybe I got his approval up too high, too early and now I just have to wait. I vowed that he was going to ask me for tent time, this time, though.

I've actually never had that thing with the kissing happen that I noticed, but I believe it. The other thing that drives me nuts? Is when I'm not even romancing Lel or Zev but he wants me to break things off with them because my approval with them is too high.

Alistair: So you and Leliana?
Me: We're just friends.
Alistair: Right, so this thing with you and Leliana.
Me: But we're just FRIENDS.
Alistair: It would be wrong to lead her on...
Me: Just. Friends. JUST FRIENDS!
Alistair: You're going to have to choose.
Me: F-R-I-E-N-D-S!!!!
Alistair: Who do you want?
Me: YOU. But--
Alistair: I'm so lucky you chose me.
Me: AUGH!

And then...

Leliana: Hi!
Me: I think we need to end this. I have no idea what I'm ending or why I have this dialogue option, but Alistair over there insists.
Leliana: Oh. But I thought...
Me: Thought what?
Leliana: You know. That you and I were more than just friends. (disapproves -15)
Me: AUGH!

Ha!  I've never had that happen before, but Alistair does get a little screwy if you get his approval high too soon.  I did ask him once where are relationship was headed.  I figured it would be no big deal.  LIES! 

PC: Where do you think this is going?
Alistair: Something, something, blah, blah, I don't know, duty yada yada.  *Upset*.
*Alistair dissaproves -10
WTF?  Screw you jerk!  That was a bad playthrough.  I didn't harden him and he dumped my character.  She got pissed and called him an ass.  Nice.

[Recidiva]

Seallyn wrote...

Ha!  I've never had that happen before, but Alistair does get a little screwy if you get his approval high too soon.  I did ask him once where are relationship was headed.  I figured it would be no big deal.  LIES! 

PC: Where do you think this is going?
Alistair: Something, something, blah, blah, I don't know, duty yada yada.  *Upset*.
*Alistair dissaproves -10
WTF?  Screw you jerk!  That was a bad playthrough.  I didn't harden him and he dumped my character.  She got pissed and called him an ass.  Nice.

I remember that.  Hurt my feelings.  Had to go hug my husband.
 
Me:  If I told you that what mattered was that we loved each other, you'd get that love endures all choices, right?  All duty and...and..."  *hurt feelings face*
Him:  Yes?
Me:  *huge hug*  Thank you.  I love you soooo much.

[nyxocity]

Seallyn wrote...

Ha!  I've never had that happen before, but Alistair does get a little screwy if you get his approval high too soon.  I did ask him once where are relationship was headed.  I figured it would be no big deal.  LIES! 

PC: Where do you think this is going?
Alistair: Something, something, blah, blah, I don't know, duty yada yada.  *Upset*.
*Alistair dissaproves -10
WTF?  Screw you jerk!  That was a bad playthrough.  I didn't harden him and he dumped my character.  She got pissed and called him an ass.  Nice.

Oh, THAT conversation, yes. If you don't harden him, that's exactly how the conversation goes, and you really wouldn't expect that, given how intense the relationship has gotten by that point. The best you can get out of that convo without him hardened is no plusses or minuses, which isn't very reassurring, either. I guess that's supposed to be a hint about what may follow if you make him king; that he'll choose duty over you if you're not a human noble at 100% with him. But mostly it just ends up being perplexing and then if you get dumped it's still a complete kick in the gut.

But if you harden him, then the responses are entirely different, and IMO, much more satisfying romantically.

The whole thing annoyed me, because it smacked of "women; never ask a guy where a relationship is going, because even the seemingly solid guys like Alistair cringe at the first sign of wanting long-term committment". But if you say you weren't asking for a committment, you lose approval also. I just avoid that whole question if he's not hardened.

And yet I still adore him, every single time. Steve Valentine's voice work is like kryptonite.

Modifié par thenyxie, 11 janvier 2010 - 09:17 .

[Godak]

Landsmeet Douche: "My vote is for Logha-...!"

Me: *kills Loghain*

Landsmeet Douche: "...The Grey Warden. A million times over, the Grey Warden."

***

Morrigan: "There is something I-..."

Me: "Why yes, I will have sex with you in hopes of creating an unholy abomination that will shatter the very

foundation of the world. Go put on more clothes."

***

Desire Demon: "I-...!"

Me: "Shh!"

Desire Demon: "Huh?"

Me: "No!"

Desire Demon: "But..."

Me: "I am staring at your breasticles. I demand silence! Silence!"

Desire Demon: "I'm sorry, I just-..."

Me: "You ****! You dirty, filthy, vile, annoying, ****! Give me blood magic and just...just...go away. The only think we

like about you is your bedazzled boobies."

Desire Demon : *Q_Q*

***

King Cailan: "Ah, you must be the new Grey Warden Duncan was telling-..."

Me: "Loghain will betray you! He will put the entire nation of Ferelden in jeopardy so that he might forcefully take

the throne. Kill him!"

King Cailan: "What? No, friend. Loghain is like a second father to me. He would never-"

Me: "Fine. Whatever. Fifth time I've tried. F^_^ck you. I give up. Have fun being crushed by an ogre!"

***

Me: "I request an audience with Teyrn Loghain."

Guard: "Oh, alright."

Loghain: "Greetings, Ward-..."

Me: *Stab, stab, stab*

***

Dwarf: "I want to start a Chantry in the-"

Me: "No. I'm doing this for you're own good. No, no, no."

Dwarf: "But, I-"

Me: "THEY WILL DESTROY YOU! YOUR LANDS WILL BE FORFEIT! YOUR SOUL WILL BE DWARF NOM NOMS!"

Dwarf: "...What?"

Me: "DWARF. NOM. NOMS."

***

Bhelen: "Hello, brother! Look at how nice I'm being. Don't you think I'm nice?"

Me: *Stab, stab, stab*

***

Oghren: "I like booze!"

Wynne: "I like booze too!"

Me: "So does the rapist down the street."

Oghren: "I like rapists!"

***

Narrator: "What would you like to name your dog?"
Me: 

Dog:

Narrator: "Douche von Lickshisdick has joined your party!"

***

Shayle: "I'm a girl."

Me:

***

Ser Jory: "Oh, look at me! I'm all heroic...and, stuff."

Me: "You're going to die."

Ser Jory: "No, that's not possi-...Well, actually, once you put the pieces together, it DOES make a lot of sense."

Me: "Let me rephrase that: you die like a total puss."

Ser Jory: "...Yeah, still making sense."

Modifié par Godak, 11 janvier 2010 - 09:18 .

[nyxocity]

Oghren: "I like booze!"
Wynne: "I like booze too!"
Me: "So does the rapist down the street."
Oghren: "I like rapists!"
Me: "You know what? I'm really not surprised anymore."

*DIES* Tears. I'm wiping away TEARS.

[Recidiva]

ohmigod. Dwarf nom noms.



I can't breathe...

[Seallyn]

thenyxie wrote...


Oh, THAT conversation, yes. If you don't harden him, that's exactly how the conversation goes, and you really wouldn't expect that, given how intense the relationship has gotten by that point. The best you can get out of that convo without him hardened is no plusses or minuses, which isn't very reassurring, either. I guess that's supposed to be a hint about what may follow if you make him king; that he'll choose duty over you if you're not a human noble at 100% with him. But mostly it just ends up being perplexing and then if you get dumped it's still a complete kick in the gut.

But if you harden him, then the responses are entirely different, and IMO, much more satisfying romantically.

The whole thing annoyed me, because it smacked of "women; never ask a guy where a relationship is going, because even the seemingly solid guys like Alistair cringe at the first sign of wanting long-term committment". But if you say you weren't asking for a committment, you lose approval also. I just avoid that whole question if he's not hardened.

And yet I still adore him, every single time. Steve Valentine's voice work is like kryptonite.

Amen to that!!!!  Steve Valentine's voice is like audible chocolate!  Heh heh.

I love Alistair, even after all the times he's been a jerk.  I just avoid the conversations where I know I'll get hurt and I've decided to harden him from now on.  I like being his mistress or whatever.  Although I hate the fact that your character seems to be working a lot harder at their relationship then he is.  I mean he still trys to break up with you the only difference is you get the "but you're king, you can do whatever you want" line and it'll actually work (I think it's there when he's not hardened but he just scoffs it off even with high persuasion.)  I do enjoy the line about punishing him later.  That was nice.

[Sialater]

He still owes me a punishment.

[mousestalker]

Brother Burkel: I'm here as a missionary for the chant.... blah, blah, blah

City Elf GW: How is that working for you?

BB: No one is paying any attention. The Assembly won't let me build a chantry.... blah, blah blah.

CEGW: Well, you need to earn the respect of the Deshyrs. Come with me to the Deep Roads and I'll hook you up with some guys I know.

------

<Whack at the back of the head>

------

CEGW: Kardol, I'd like you to meet your newest recruit, Brother Burkel. He knows all about the 'Chant of Light'

Kardol: Thank you Warden. BUrkel, you get point for tonight's suicidal mission.

BB: Eek!

[Rhinna]

@Godak - I am so ROFL'ing now...

[Seallyn]

mousestalker wrote...

Brother Burkel: I'm here as a missionary for the chant.... blah, blah, blah
City Elf GW: How is that working for you?
BB: No one is paying any attention. The Assembly won't let me build a chantry.... blah, blah blah.
CEGW: Well, you need to earn the respect of the Deshyrs. Come with me to the Deep Roads and I'll hook you up with some guys I know.
------

------
CEGW: Kardol, I'd like you to meet your newest recruit, Brother Burkel. He knows all about the 'Chant of Light'
Kardol: Thank you Warden. BUrkel, you get point for tonight's suicidal mission.
BB: Eek!

Ha!  Well if he's going to die anyway, might as well make some use for him.

[Asante81]

Seallyn wrote...

mousestalker wrote...

Brother Burkel: I'm here as a missionary for the chant.... blah, blah, blah
City Elf GW: How is that working for you?
BB: No one is paying any attention. The Assembly won't let me build a chantry.... blah, blah blah.
CEGW: Well, you need to earn the respect of the Deshyrs. Come with me to the Deep Roads and I'll hook you up with some guys I know.
------

------
CEGW: Kardol, I'd like you to meet your newest recruit, Brother Burkel. He knows all about the 'Chant of Light'
Kardol: Thank you Warden. BUrkel, you get point for tonight's suicidal mission.
BB: Eek!

Ha!  Well if he's going to die anyway, might as well make some use for him.

I bet he would manage to send the darkspawn run away in fear of his blabbering...

BTW: has anyone ever had a kitten invasion in Denerim????

[Kilyra]

The kitten invasion! Yes, just this last time, there was this whole row of cats standing outside the Alienage area. It was hilarious and eerie at the same time haha

[Seallyn]

Kilyra wrote...

The kitten invasion! Yes, just this last time, there was this whole row of cats standing outside the Alienage area. It was hilarious and eerie at the same time haha

It's the Zombie Kitten Army!!  I read about it on the Dragon Age Wiki.  I have yet to actually experience it, but it sounds freaky funny!

[Asante81]

Diary of an Archdemon

Dear diary.
Today, I had a cunning idea!
If my assault plans on Denerim don't work out as intended, I have an alternate plan now.
I even tested it.
And it seems to work!
No one will ever know it's my darkspawn!

Modifié par Asante81, 11 janvier 2010 - 11:33 .

[Seallyn]

Asante81 I could just hug you.



*cyber hug*



Thank you for posting that!!!

[sagevallant]

Diary of the Archdemon.

Day 1: So I just woke up after being darkspawned, if you want to call it that. I believe I used to be a dragon, as that would explain the giant wings and fire breath. Why the fire breath is PURPLE, I do not know. Broodmom says I get an army! This is going to be great!

Day 4: I'm not sure exactly why, but Broodmom says I can't go up to the surface with the vanguard. I mean, I'm a giant freaking dragon thing, what have I got to be scared of? It's not as if my death alone will result in some sort of disbanding of the entire legion, causing us darkspawns to be defeated by the puny humans. I'm going to sneak up to the surface as soon as I can find an opening big enough to fit through.

Day 12: Things got really quiet all of a sudden. I'm told a lot of the puny Warden peoples died. Greg the Ogre brought me back a totally ****ing suit of crumpled gold armor. I'm less than two weeks old and I STILL know that gold makes for horrible armor. Yet, for some reason, they put the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE in gold armor. So not only are they poorly protected, but they're also easy to find. Silly humans.

Day 15: For some reason I've been having dreams about this psychotic chick with red hair. Weird dreams. It looks like this big bald guy with face tattoos is... doing... something to her? I can't tell if it hurts or she likes it. Maybe both.

Day 16: Broodmom says that's where little humans come from. I am thoroughly confused. The red hair girl is so puny, and she doesn't even have tentacles. Where do the babies come from?

Day 21: So those crazy dwarves are storming around in the tunnels, making all kinds of noise. I hate dwarves, they taste like dirt and mold. Elves taste better, but are still stringy and not very filling. And the ears get caught in my teeth. Looking forward to trying human.

Day 30: The ogres won't let me play wrestling with them anymore. Just because I accidentally ate one. Of course it was an accident, they smell awful! I had to breathe fire just to get the taste out of my mouth. That cooked a few genlocks, but nobody cares about them. There were some peoples--including that red haired girl--in the tunnels today. I tried to ask them why they were here, but they just hid and pretended I couldn't see them. How rude can you be?!

Day 42: Got to go to the surface today! I ate some big, flabby, funny looking things that were all black and white spotted, and I've got to admit they put me off people entirely. A little fire to make them simmer and they just slide right down your throat because of all the grease. Having trouble flying now >.>

Day 47: Broodmom says I get to go to the people city soon!

Day 51: I'm so mad! There I was, just flying around the city and taking in the sights when this meatbag of a human just jumped on my back and sliced up my wing! I think it was one of those "muggings" I've heard so much about, Broodmom says I have to be more careful about wandering alone. So I'm just going to sit up here on top of my new tower and wait. Was a friendly little dwarf wandering around earlier, we had a cup of tea together. Then Harry the Hurlock showed up and challenged him to an arm wrestling match, but the dwarf wouldn't answer; he just kept saying "Enchantment!". It was so nice to finally meet someone around my own age. I think? Who knows.

The hurlocks are making a mess of things down there. I hope they're not going to get us in trouble with the humans. They're all cute and pink and squishy. Hey, look, here come my friends from the tunnel now! Maybe they'll talk to me today. I can ask the red hair girl where her tentacles are!

Hey, they're playing with the ballista! Broodmom said that was dangerous! Hold on little humans, I'll save you!

[Asante81]

lol sage... did I inspire you a little bit?

Damn, that made me giggle like mad (not good at half past 5 am if someone's trying to sleep in the room next door)

[ChaoticBroth]

Sage, that has to be the greatest thing ever. I had to suppress my laughter quite a bit. Thank you for making that.

[sagevallant]

Asante81 wrote...

lol sage... did I inspire you a little bit?
Damn, that made me giggle like mad (not good at half past 5 am if someone's trying to sleep in the room next door)

Always give credit where credit is due

[Godak]

Me: "Okay, Sten. I get it. Glaring is your 'thing'. It's what you do. You glare. And that's totally fine with me! I'm not asking you to stop glaring, not at all! I realize that it is something that is very important to you. All I want is the occasional nodding or shaking of the head. That's not too much to ask, is it? Because, you know, I'm asking it. Right now."

Sten: *Glare*

Me: "Yeah. That's about what I anticipated. Listen, I've been respectful of your Qun-wa-ruba-hari ways..."

Sten: "Qunari."

Me: "Yeah, that's what I said. Anyway, I've been respectful of your Qun-atious ways, and I'd like you to learn a little about Ferelden culture-..."

Sten: "The Qun teaches that-..."

Me: "...So will you have sex with my female character now?"

Sten: *Glare*

Me: "I'm taking that as a 'yes'. I'm taking off your pants now, and I'm skipping the awkward cutscene."

Sten: *Glare*

Me: "It'sonlyforthetrophyit'sonlyforthetrophy..." *browses trophy requirements* *tears*

***

Me: "So, uh...are there any bathrooms in Ferelden?"

Alistair: "Uh...what?"

Me: "Bathrooms."

Alistair: "Is that where...uh...do you take baths? In bathrooms?"

Me: "No. You take sh!ts."

Alistair: "That's...good to know."

Me: "Anyway, I don't need one anymore."

Alistair: "I don't want to ask, do I?"

Me: "You probably don't want to smell, either."

***

Shianni: "Wake up cousin, you have a wedding to get to. Oh, today is going to be such a WONDERFUL day!"

Me: "Heh...heh."

***

Iona: "Oh, what a spectacular night!"

Me: "Listen, if you hear noises that sound like the screams of small children being slaughtered, I suggest you ignore them."

Iona: "What? Why?!"

Me: "Because as soon as you open that door, you've ruined my entire life. Oh, and you die."

Iona: *Giggles* "Oh, you have such a quirky sense of humor..." *Opens door* "...See? Nothing wro-..." *Dead*

Me: "I hate my origin."

***

Me: "So, uh...Morrigan. I've noticed that you say "'tis" a lot. Any reason behind that?"

Morrigan: "Why do you care?! 'Tis no concern of your's how I speak!"

Me: "Eh...That's not true. Actually, that's REALLY not true. You see, you're a mage. Mages are REALLY strong in Dragon Age. Therefore, I put mages in my party. That means YOU are in my party. And when you're in my party, you tend to talk. When you talk, you say "'tis". It's kind of like a cheese grater is raping my ear canal."

Morrigan: "'Tis not something that bothers me."

Me: "Jesus Christ...you are making my ears BLEED! ...I didn't even know that there was an animation for that."

***

Cullen: "I'm craaazy!"

Me: "So..."

Cullen: "Craaaaazy!"

Me: "And you want me to...?"

Cullen: "Craaaaaaazy for Cocoa Puffs."

Me: "Excuse me. I need to go castrate myself with a rubber knife."

***
Jowan: "Please! You must help me! My intentions were good, I just..."

Me: "Ok, wait, slow down, STOP! Let me break this down for you...First, you lie to your girlfriend about practicing blood magic, then you stage a daring breakout where you kill some templars, then you poison Arl Eamon...and THEN you kill Arl Eamon's wife. Good intentions?"

Jowan: "I have cake!"

Me: "Walk away quickly...don't look back! Move Oghren, MOVE!"

Jowan: *Sobs* "You're MEAN!" [/wrist]

***

Dear Diary,

Oghren and Wynne were having sex in my tent.
Also, my retinas spontaneously combusted.
I'm pretty sure these two events are connected.

***

Dear Diary,

I saw Wynne and Dog having sex in my tent today.
Apparently Wynne's eyesight is failing her.
Mine, despite the continual outbursts of flaming-retinitis, is not.

***

Dear Diary,

Wynne had sex with a log that she found inside my tent.
I told Wynne she could have it. The log and the tent.

***

Dear Diary,

Wynne was having sex with the tent today.
I think her standards are getting higher.

Modifié par Godak, 12 janvier 2010 - 05:08 .

[Seallyn]

Holy crap! The...tears...