2834 réponses à ce sujet

[Recidiva]

DaLabbes wrote...

I currently have nothing to contribute, so I pay my dues with compliments. This thread rocks! Don't think I ever had that much fun in seven forum pages.

Thank you!

Me:  Alistair, you have to stay here while I go to Redcliffe.
Alistair:  But...but Arl Eamon.
Me:  I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  I am.  But I want to find out what happens when I let Jowan go.  I haven't done that yet and his life never gets spared no matter what I do.  And you get all crabby about blood magic and you make your sad Alistair face and my curiosity trumps your sense of existential comfort.
Alistair:  So...you're leaving me.  I understand.
Me:  I'm leaving you in CAMP.  Not leaving you.  Oh, don't pout.  I hate it when you pout.
Alistair:  You're leaving me for a blood magician?
Me:  No, he means nothing, and his voice is horrible.  Not like yours.
Alistair:  But...blood magic.
Me:  Oh come on.  You drank darkspawn blood.  Prepared with lyrium and lots of mages.  Not only that, there's archdemon blood in there.
Alistair:  There IS?  But...well, Duncan had his rea-
Me:  It's not all about Duncan, dammit!  And you never thought that becoming a Grey Warden was one of the most horrific acts of blood magic?
Alistair:  I just...
Me:  I'd ask you to think about that.  But you won't. 
Alistair:  *pout*  I'm not stupid.
Me:  We do not have time for that argument.  And I'll win.  Again with the pouting.  I'll be back.  I'll bring you a present.
Alistair:  Something of Duncan's would...
Me:  I'm letting a blood magician out into the world, that sounds like something of Duncan's.
Alistair:  But Duncan was-
Me:  Oh save it for a cutscene.  You'll forget all about this anyway.  You're like the guy from Memento.  

[Keldon Northwind]

Recidiva wrote...


At least with Alistair, he's just watching OVER me in my sleep, not watching for prominent anatomical weaknesses to exploit later.

Or so you would think. (dun dun dun DUUUUUUN!)


Shale:  Hmm... I  don't know. Order me to do something.
Me:  Alright.  Give Alistair a big hug.  He could use it.
Alistair:  Wait, what?
Shale:  An appealing prospect. Come here, I  promise I  won't squish you. Much.
Alistair: This is getting out of hand real quick. 
Shale:  Don't be afraid. I'm actually quite cuddly.
Alistair: Get away from me!  (runs off with Shale following shortly behind him).
Morrigan:  It's the little things in life...
Me:  Isn't it just?
Morrigan:  He could use the exercise, as well.
Me:  Shale or  Alistair?
Morrigan:  Both.

[sagevallant]

(on the morning after)



Me: What? Leliana? Why are you watching me sleep?

Leliana: No particular reason.

Me: And why are you armed?

Leliana: I was just thinking about something. See, I'm a spy, and a rather jealous one at that. And we've established that I'm quite good at killing people I love. You remember, right?

Me: Yes... >.>

Leliana: As a spy, it's pretty hard to keep secrets from me. Since finding out secrets is my profession. And if someone were to leave me, I'd be pretty good at finding them. You know, on account of the spying. (fondles dagger)

Me: *gulp*

Leliana: So I notice you've been spending a lot of time with Morrigan lately...

Me: OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! >_<

[Recidiva]

Me: We should actually get anything done in Lothering that we think we should get done.

Alistair: We finally killed the spiders, at least.

Me: I need to deliver some messages first...

Morrigan: I fail to see why you cater to the every whim of these needy, helpless people.

Me: Morrigan, there's a sense of...achievement. And I won't stop until I've finished at least...75% of the...good I can do in this world.

Morrigan: 75%? Isn't that...random? You wish to accomplish 75% of...? How bizarre.

Me: Entirely, and there isn't even a counter or a "hey you forgot to do this" hint of any sort.

Alistair: I'm confused.

Me and Morrigan: I'm shocked.

Me: I'm not going to finish at 74% freaking percent.

Alistair: I would think that 100% would be ideal.

Me: There's only so much I have to work with here.

Morrigan and Alistair: Hey!

Alistair: So I have to make traps now? That seems...but I'm not even a rogue.

Me: Alistair, please, for the love of the Maker, just make them so there's no more arrows on my map.

Alistair: Only if you say I'm not stupid.

Me: *lower lip jutting out and very slow inflection* You're not stupid.

Morrigan: There's a "but" or a threat coming if you let her continue. It might have been a command.

Alistair: No, I think we can stop there. I'm good, are we all good? Traps then. Right.

[Rathengar]

Hehe i cant help it.



http://wikicheats.ga...360/Side_Quests



A link to a page with quests ingame , they are split up on various sections.



Im pretty sure you just making fun, but hey it cant hurt to be sure.

Well sometimes it does hurt saying something she allready knows, females are tricky to figure out.

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...

Hehe i cant help it.

http://wikicheats.ga...360/Side_Quests

A link to a page with quests ingame , they are split up on various sections.

Im pretty sure you just making fun, but hey it cant hurt to be sure.
Well sometimes it does hurt saying something she allready knows, females are tricky to figure out.

Thank you!  I'll check it out.  I do have the big ol' Prima guide, but I find it hard to believe that after four times through I haven't gotten the achievement, I'm assuming it has to be done in one game, because I don't think there's much I haven't done.

And on that note:

Shale:  Wait a moment.  While the other Warden is unconscious and can't interfere, may I have a word, Alistair?
Alistair:  But what if she really dies this time?  She seems to be made out of papier mache.
Morrigan:  I can make kits.  Continue, Shale.  I am interested to hear what you have to say as well.
Shale:  You were trained as a warrior, yes?  Discipline, fleshy weakness, all that?
Morrigan:  Alistair excels at fleshy weakness.
Alistair:  Ignoring that.  Right, Shale, your point?  That blood pool looks like it isn't healthy.
Shale:  I've noticed that it has a power in its voice that it is not exploiting to the best of its ability.
Alistair:  My voice?  She makes fun of my voice all the time.  What are you talking about?
Morrigan:  Oh, I like where this is leading.
Shale:  The other warden cannot seem to travel without you, cease to tease you or stop drawing your attention at every moment.  I grow tired of this.
Alistair:  Well, if it will wipe the word "stupid" from her vocabulary, I'm listening.
Shale:  Very well.  A token, perhaps.  If you convince her you're truly...succumbing to fleshy weakness, perhaps she'll be kinder to you and this endless bickering will cease.
Alistair:  A token?  What do you mean?
Shale:  I don't know.  Think of something.
Morrigan:  I hear women are ridiculously fond of flowers.  I tend to make poisons out of them, so it doesn't really have the same allure.
Alistair:  No, really, a flower?  The answer to my problems is a flower? 
Shale:  Such a small thing and so easy to procure.
Morrigan:  I saw some in vases at the Pearl.
Alistair:  So I say...here's a flower I got a ****house?  
Shale and Morrigan:  No!
Shale:  Not that.  Tell it that you need it.
Alistair:  It wouldn't really buy that, would it?  She?
Morrigan:  Shale and I will coach you.  It'll be Cyrano DeBergerock.  We'll tell you what to say.
Alistair:  I'm not sure.
Shale:  Ask itself, does it cost it anything?  I'd appreciate some peace at camp.
Morrigan:  Could get louder.
Shale:  But it wouldn't be...sustained at all hours.
Alistair:  I'm willing to...give it a shot.
Shale:  It's decided then.  We go back to the Pearl for just a smidge and then we tell the other Warden...whatever we want.
Morrigan:  This I have to see.

Modifié par Recidiva, 02 décembre 2009 - 06:31 .

[Rathengar]

Recidiva wrote...

Thank you!  I'll check it out.  I do have the big ol' Prima guide, but I find it hard to believe that after four times through I haven't gotten the achievement, I'm assuming it has to be done in one game, because I don't think there's much I haven't done.

I got my achievement in my secound playthrou,  I didtn know about this site back then.  But i first got the archievement when i hade 2 quests left ! so it was very lucky.

I didtn know about personal quests back then, or fence quest, didtn know you could get more rogue quest from bartender either after completing certain quest from there.

And yes it must be in one playthrou  sa far i can read on the  achievement sites i know

Edit: oh and to read how to get there personal quest read it under companion section. they are not in sidequest section on the site

Modifié par Rathengar, 02 décembre 2009 - 06:36 .

[Recidiva]

*in the Deserted Building*



Alistair: We're going back now? Why now? There are more...doors and rooms and...that way!

Me: I have a wrenched limb, a cracked skull, an open wound and a broken bone.

Alistair: Well, I'm bleeding, I have head trauma and I'm deafened. Which I might consider a benefit as Morrigan doesn't bother me as much now. But I'm willing to give it a go.

Shale: Oddly enough I have a torn jugular. Seems...fleshy to me. And no blood to speak of.

Morrigan: Magic is clearly the superior path. I have no injuries at all.

Me: That's because if you die that means everyone else died first, so there's no game to restore.

Morrigan: What?

Alistair: But...room. Evil to be vanquished, come on!

Me: I tried! We're going back!

Alistair: You tried? I don't remember you trying.

Me: *sigh* We'll come back later.

Alistair: Like with the spiders? You promise?

Me: I promise.

[Recidiva]

*upon entering the Circle of Magi*



Me: Klatu! Barata! Nikto! *starts giggling*

Wynne: What...is that?

Alistair: It's actually best not to ask.

Morrigan: Nothing I've studied.

Wynne: Does she do this often?

Alistair: You have no idea.

Morrigan: We're doomed.

Me: You guys have no sense of humor.

Wynne: Is it too late to...go back?

Alistair: You remember, big door, Templars, hacky-slash death?

Wynne: That's sounding...comforting at this point.

[Razzeer]

After "wasting" my workday away reading this whole thread and enjoying it fully, I find I still need to even finish this game even once through. I plan to continue my efforts this evening. However, it will certainly be experienced in a different light now, especially when I imagine Recidiva arriving on site every so often providing hillarious and insightful antics to all of the already funny dialogue that I still have yet to experience.



By the way, does Leliana squeel any other moments in the game? She squeeled when I 'clumsily' told her that I know she wants me. I covered it up by telling her that she laughed and thought it was cute.



Next time:



Leliana: I am quite good at it, and men don't seem to mind.

Me: Yes, yes, yes I know that. I want to tell you something to make you squeel again but I want to do it in a way that isn't so obviously clumsy.

Leliana: Squeel? I don't sq...

Me: Yeah squeel. It sounded like something I heard before but I can't quite pin it down.

Leliana: When did I squeel? I don't think I ever...

Me: "EEEEE! That was so cluumsy!" It sounded like that and yes it was annoying and sexy at the same time.

Leliana: Ummm...

Me: Do that squeel now! Imagine something silly!

Leliana: Something silly?

Me: Alistair! Come over here!

*Alistair looks up quizically*

Me: Yeah you, come here.

*Alistair walks over*

Me: Do that thing with the shield and the sword again!

*Alistair trips on his sword, lands on the shield and slides over to where you and Leliana are standing.*

Leliana: EEEEEE! That was so clumsy!

Me: Yup, that's the sound I was looking for. Wish I could record it so I can play it again later. Maybe I'd have an easier time trying to remember why it sounds so familiar.

[Malkavianqueen]

All of these posts make me laugh. ;P Keep up the good work everyone!

[Genraku]

Duncan: Grey wardens do what they must, exciting or not.

Alistair: But if the kign asks me to dance down the line in a dress--

Me: He did. Really. In fact he wanted you to dance for him in his tent right now. Also, he said he likes it when you grab him by teh hand to fight behind the tower.

[Recidiva]

Razzeer wrote...

After "wasting" my workday away reading this whole thread and enjoying it fully, I find I still need to even finish this game even once through. I plan to continue my efforts this evening. However, it will certainly be experienced in a different light now, especially when I imagine Recidiva arriving on site every so often providing hillarious and insightful antics to all of the already funny dialogue that I still have yet to experience.

A great way to waste a work day!

Enjoy the game!  I'm clearly still having fun several times through.

*Shale and Morrigan watching the rose scene*

Shale:  It took well to poetry. 
Morrigan:  He's hardly stuttering at all.  Well, some.
Shale:  The other warden probably considers it charming. 
Morrigan:  Shale, where did you learn so much about human nature?
Shale:  I stood listening to ninnies speaking to each other for 30 years.  I paid attention.
Morrigan:  They're doomed.
Shale:  No thanks to the swamp witch.
Morrigan:  What?
Shale:  The swamp witch speaks in its sleep.
Morrigan:  I'm sure I don't.
Shale:  I spent a thousand years in the dark.  That's where I learned about swamp witch nature.
Morrigan:  I'll be...in my tent.
Shale:  I'll be awake.  Again.  Still.
Morrigan:  Oh, look, she invited him to her tent and the fool turned her down.
Shale:  Well, at least it will be quiet for a little while.

[Razzeer]

Poochman: Woof! Woof!

Shale: Oh no. It's up again and the moon is full.

Poochman: *howl's a long and eery howl*

Shale: *Puts on the fire crystal armor*

Poochman: *stops howling and walks over to shale and releaves himself on Shale's leg.*

Shale: Couldn't you have gone to one of those ever present landmarks before nightfall?

Poochman: *gains the buffer and pounces on Shale licking her in the face*

Shale: At least it's not a bird.

[Decomposey]

1st character was a city elf. Which led to this, based an actual psychic moment with my 3rd, a human noble.



(Arl Howes dungeons)

Arls son: Let me out of this cell! I am the Arl of Denerim

Me: I need your support for the Lands... I can't believe I'm even considering this.

Alistair: Considering what? Letting him out? You've let everyone else out.

Me: Yeah, but he deserves this.

Alistair: Why... how do you know that?

Me: Trust me on this. He deserves it.

Morrigan: We do need support for the Landsmeet.

Me: I know, I know, I'll get the door...

Zevran: What are you in there for anyhow?

Arl's Son: You know elves, sometimes they get the idea they're people...

Me: Denerim is better off without you! (Kill Him)

*STABBAGE!!*

Morrigan: *blinks* You... stabbed him kind of... low...

Alistair: *Goes a little green and covered his codpiece*

Zevran: *Blinks and instinctively moves to protect his jewels*

*Morrigan approves +5*

[Recidiva]

Heh. Yeah, through multiple playthroughs of origins there are things I can't do unless I consider myself really evil.

Vaughn: *stabby rip stab stab* any version of "He had it coming."  I could even do the "Chicago" bit in the dungeon with the bars.  "And then he ran into my knife.  He ran into my knife ten times."
Jowan: "He's a blood mage!" "Oh come on, the dude can barely tie his own shoes."
Bhelen: "He's a reformer!" "He dies. Can't deny myself the pleasure."

Modifié par Recidiva, 03 décembre 2009 - 02:44 .

[LtlMac]

Rhys Cordelle wrote...

Alistair: I can't- I just can't believe I did that.
Me: Hush now, it's all over.
Alistair: I mean of all the lamp posts in all of Fereldon why did Morrigan have to be my first? I feel so... so violated.
Me: *pats his shoulder* Aww, there, there.
Alistair: And she was so VICIOUS! I swear I'll be scarred for life.
Me: Physically or emotionally?
Alistair: Huh? Both! Can you imagine what it's like to share your bed with a shapechanger?!
Me: *smiles* Ohh, you poor thing. But Morrigan's not so bad really. You two have more in common than you might think.
Alistair: *shuddering* We- we do?
Me: Mmhmm. For instance, did you know that she's a bastard child too?
Alistair: She- she is?
Me: So I hear. Rumor has it Flemmeth had some alone time with the King of Fereldon. One thing lead to another and... well...
Alistair: Oh....OH! Wait, you mean? King Maric? Oh Makers Breath, tell me you're joking?!
Me: Not at all, I'm completely serious. Why? Is that a problem my dear Alistair?
Alistair: I'd say it's a problem! That makes her my SISTER!
Me: So it does... Bet that gay relationship with me's not looking so bad now huh?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH....I never even thought about that.....that's AWSOME!!!

o.s.  This is the best thread in the history of all forums in all places in the history of mankind.   Or at the very least, it's one fun and funny thread.

[LtlMac]

Soepkommetje wrote...

It's not exactly the same as most other posts in this thread, but sometimes the game itself offers a pure stroke of comedy gold with no need to alter anything.

I still vividly remember the first time completing the Anvil of the Void questline. Listening to Caridin's story about how his invention caused him to be responsible for slavery of his own people because of a selfish king, and how he stayed willingly entombed in the deepest end of the Deep Roads to find a way to destroy the anvil that caused him and so many others so much suffering.

An epic battle between golems, my party, Branka and more golems ensues, and after way too long I finally stand victorious over the Paragon's corpse. (better not mention that in the Orzammar assembly...) Caridin thanks me, and I go ahead to destroy the anvil.

By hitting it with a hammer.

Seriously, for some genious Dwarf smith that Caridin had some quirky ideas about safety protocols. I wonder how many Anvils of the Void he accidentally destroyed by, you know, using them.

LOL, you know....I thought the EXACT same thing when I saw that.   I was like.....how is this Anvil so important if it can't do the one thing it is designed to do...

[Decomposey]

(First playthrough Landsmeet)
Bald dude: I support Loghain!  We've no hope otherwise!
Me: *Glare*

(Second playthrough...)
Me: *Notice Bald dude in Gnawed Noble talking to the guy whose son I rescued*
(At Landsmeet)
Bald dude: I support Loghain!  We've no hope otherwise!
Me: *Glare*

(Thrid playthrough...)
Me: *Standing in Gnawed Noble* Excuse me, I overheard you talking to my friend here...About your kids.
Bald Dude: Um... yes?
Me: You mentioned you had a daughter?  You love her very much, don't you?
Bald dude: Yes I do, why?
Me: No reason.  And you're the Bann of where?  I see... And your daughter lives there, yes?
Bald dude: Of course she does.  Why are you asking these questions?
Me: I'm friendly like that.  Anywho, catch you later.
(At Landsmeet)
Bald Dude: I support Loghain!  We've no hope otherwise!
Me:  *Glare*

(Fourth Playthrough...)
Delivery Boy: Message for ya sir!
Bald dude:  Wha...
Delivery Boy: Sorry, lots of other messages to get to! *runs off*
Bald dude *Opens message, which includes a lock of hair.  Looks horrified*
(At Landsmeet)
Bald dude:  I support... the Warden
Me:  *Grin*

[Rathengar]

Hehe very funny Decomposey.



I have won the landsmeet several times with 6 votes to me, and 1 against me.



Allways that bastard of a bald dude against me if i recall right.

[sagevallant]

(Aftermath of Arl Howe fight)



Leliana: You... seem a little upset at him.

Me (still stabbing Howe's body): But he's the devil, and he tried to kill Tom Cruise! And Kermit the Frog! And he tried to conquer France! And he was a singing, dancing transvestite named Dr. Frank N Furter!...



(Long Awkward Silence)



Me: Oh, fine, we can go now...

[Rathengar]

*back in camp*



Me: Ah this was a nice day. none of us died , yay !

Wynne: *blah blah blah (very wise words) *

Me: yes , yes , yea , aha . you are right.

Wynne: *blah blah (even more wise words)*

Me: yea .... yes .... yup allways.

Wynne: *blah blah (extremely wise words)*

Me: Okay , thats it ..back to the circle tower with you ...off you go ..bye bye.



(I most say i find chatting with wynne so very anoying , she allways manage to anoy me. Especially because she wont trigger her damn personal quest to me and im tired of listening to her)

[Soepkommetje]

At Ostagar, right before the battle

Alistair: We can't be in the battle? Aw man, this sucks!
Me: Trust me, you don't want to be. I could tell you why, but it'd lead to one of two things. Either you'll die tonight, or Loghain dies and we'd win the battle.
Alistair: That last one sounds kind of appealing.
Me: I have my own reasons why I don't want that to happen. We'd get to spend less... fun times with eachother, for starters. And as you take advice so well I'm not willing to pass up on you. It will all be so much more fulfilling if we do what we're told to now.
Alistair: Wait, go back a bit. 'Pass up on me?'
Me: Yeah, you know you're handsome, and even though you've never been with anyone you'll be so much more pleasurable than that Dairren.
Alistair: Who's Dairren?
Me: Do you really want to ask about my previous sexcapades?
Alistair: Erm, no, bu-
Me: Then stop questioning me and follow my lead. Rawr.

[Recidiva]

Rathengar wrote...

*back in camp*

Me: Ah this was a nice day. none of us died , yay !
Wynne: *blah blah blah (very wise words) *
Me: yes , yes , yea , aha . you are right.
Wynne: *blah blah (even more wise words)*
Me: yea .... yes .... yup allways.
Wynne: *blah blah (extremely wise words)*
Me: Okay , thats it ..back to the circle tower with you ...off you go ..bye bye.

(I most say i find chatting with wynne so very anoying , she allways manage to anoy me. Especially because she wont trigger her damn personal quest to me and im tired of listening to her)

Yeah, I find her conversations annoying because once you know the story, they're not that...interesting.  You can see why Alistair's my favorite it only because he's funny and that clearly suits me.

I do like her story, but I feel somewhat antagonized at having to listen to it over and over.  I enjoyed my dwarf prompting her constantly and asking if this story had griffons in it.

Wynne:  I'd like to ask you, what does a Grey Warden mean to you?
Me:  It means I help those around me and work for the greatest good overall, whatever sacrifice I must make.
Wynne:  Oh. Oh.  Well, that's...that's wonderful.
Me:  It also means that everyone around me needs a favor and you're no exception.  Spit it out.
Wynne:  But I -
Me:  Spit.
Wynne:  I'm kinda dead.  And possessed.
Me:  On it.
Wynne:  Thanks.
Me:  Stop giving me options to point out how old you are, it's distasteful.  Stop referring to your own age constantly as if I care.  It's tacky.
Wynne:  You're right, I'm sorry.
Me:  We'll get along fine, just go play with the dog.
Wynne:  How do I know I can trust you?
Me:  You can't.  But if I tell you that, you don't really have any choice, if you're alive it's because I choose for you to be alive.  Otherwise you'll be dead because I convinced my companions in the tower that you were an abomination trying to trick us.  Even though I would have known better.
Wynne:  That gives you a great deal of power over my future.
Me:  Don't you forget it.  Play with the dog.