Recidiva wrote...
That's interesting, I'll have to think about that. I base a lot of my judgments on what I feel and what actions other people take, and their long-term track record of these things. I base my conclusions on patterns of behavior and how well that agrees with what I 'feel' around someone.
I'm very comfortable with my husband because he's like Cordelia from Buffy. There's an episode in Buffy where Buffy keeps picking up what people are thinking versus what they're saying. It makes her crazy. But the only person that stood out as different was Cordelia, who always says what she thinks. So for me, I don't have to experience the dissonance of what's going on inside someone's head versus what they're saying when I'm around him. He'll be blunt and he'll be honest and that's the best place for me to be. He's not hiding behind his words. He is who he is and that's...absolutely unique and what I need. Otherwise it's experiencing the dissonance between who a person is internally and why they present themselves to be. It's better for me when they harmonize.
I can get a lot of a person just by being in their physical space, and that's what I trust the most. Very often when someone's talking to me, I'm not listening to what they say so much as how and why they say it. And that's based on what sort of emotional tone the person has. So my "filter" is not through the senses, so much as it is that inexplicable thing that I know I can do and I know other people can do, but we don't really know why.
If Alistair had been a real person...he'd have had an unbelievably dissonant "feel" to him and I'd have to be on the other side of everything in order to get away from him.
Your secondary would be Extraverted Feeling, which makes total sense with what you're saying here. Your introverted intuition would naturally pick up on cues taken in by your extraverted feeling (extraverted feelers are very good at sensing things in people).
I need that, too. For different reasons, ultimately, I suspect, but on the surface for very similar ones. I can see people very well when they are not intentionally trying to hide. But I can't always sense what goes on under the surface if they're deliberately not saying what they feel, I just know there is SOMETHING I am not seeing/they are not saying, and it drives me insane if I care about them. One of the reasons I married my husband is because he is one of those people who has no problem with saying exactly what he feels or letting you know exactly where you stand. He is 100% honest, and I need that, because that's the kind of person I am, too. I want it all out there in the open. I'd rather you break my heart and tell me to f*** off, because at least then I know how to deal with the situation, and what I have to do in order to be able to cope, and know what my options are. Tell me where you want me to stand, and then I'll make up my own mind about where I want to be. But that nagging sense of things going on under the surface always means trouble as far as I'm concerned, and I can't hang. Honesty and communication are the first things on my list for a successful relationship.
Ahaha. Yes, my husband and I often reference that Cordelia scene and we adore her for that. No filter. No bulls***. Those tend to be some of our most beloved characters, honestly. Sensors tend to be more this way, but I've met few sensors that I've felt I could really connect with. We just seem to think really differently on a basic level.
See, if Alistair had been a real person, I would've sensed the "something" I didn't know, and it would've bothered me, but I'd have hung in there anyway and been shocked when he turned. Later I'd have realized that part of me knew it all along though. My intuition is not always clear about WHAT it sees, but I feel it when something isn't right. Introverted thinking is fluid as well, and not always helpful. Extraverted intuition is like "ahhh! big scary shape!" and introverted thinking helps define the shape, but there's only so much my brain can do without all the information.
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