Morrigan: "Oh, lovely. The Circle Tower looks like a giant phallus. How fitting."
Me: "Wait...Erm, no. No it doesn't. What, uh...What do you think a phallus looks like...?"
Morrigan: "Well, you know...they're long...and, uh...straight...and..."
Me: "So, if I held up a stick..."
Morrigan: "Penis."
Me: "My sword...?"
Morrigan: "Penis."
Me: "...A very skinny rooster?"
Morrigan: "C-o-c-k."
Me: "Touche."
***
Me: "So, Alistair, I've noticed something about Ferelden...Something that's been bothering me for quite some time..."
Alistair: "What is it?"
Me: "There are no horses. Anywhere."
Alistair: "Pfft. That's not true. We just some horses in...uh...In Dener-...No, no, those were prostitutes...What about those things in Orzam-...?"
Me: "More prostitutes. And nugs."
Alistair: "Nug prostitutes?"
Me: "...Sure. Anyway, I just thought I'd bring it up, seeing how we walk everywhere, and my muscles are slowly starting to leak out of my pores. It's pretty horrible."
Alistair: "Yeah, I don't even know where to find horses. It just occured to me now, but...I don't think I've ever seen a horse. Ever."
Me: "You think those BioWare peoples were on some sort of strict time frame? Do you think that they had to deliver some sort of finished product by a certain date?"
Alistair: "Eh, I don't know about that...They put in dwarves. I mean, how many people HONESTLY go into their first playthrough saying 'I wanna be a dwarf!' Five, tops. I think horses are MUCH higher up on their list of priorities."
Me: "Yeah, I guess they just WANTED my ass to erode into oblivion. Oh well. I'll live."
Alistair: "...So, back up for a second. Nug prostitutes?"
Me: "Oh, yeah. Right. The virgin thing. Sure, okay. I suppose that's as good a starting point as any."
Alistair: "You have no idea how happy you just made me."
***
Me: "So, Zevran..."
Zevran: "I'm an ELF!"
Me: "Uh, yeah, congratulations..."
Zevran: "And I'm GAY!"
Me: "...What?"
Zevran: "Well, I suppose the correct term would be 'bi-sexual'. I do it with guys and girls. Oooh! And animals. Lots of animals...Do they have a word for that?"
Me: "Urm...creepy? Disturbing?"
Zevran: "Anyway, what did you want to ask me?"
Me: "Oh, right. I was just wondering if you could-..."
Zevran: "I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!"
Me: "...I regret not killing you every time. Every f^_^cking time. I recruit you, hoping that you will prove to be a useful addition to the team...Instead, you're just a guy who gets off on pretty much-..."
Zevran: "Everything."
Me: "Yeah. You are NOT picky. The darkspawn corpses can attest to that."
Zevran: "Yeah, the other Crows called me an "Ass-Ass-In". The name just kind of stuck."
Modifié par Godak, 13 janvier 2010 - 04:43 .