Lianaar wrote...
After many threads that has mixed OOC and IG feelings it was not clear at first that you are talking as a character in your initial post and not as a player. It does read differently after that clarification 
I didn't try the city elf origin yet, I expect that to be the most emotionally engaging and thus I left it for the last.
My human noble is filled with rage, certainly. She wants blood and on her hand. Howe's first only to be sprinkled with Loghain's and if any offspring of Loghain happens to pass in the way, all the batter. Not to mention Howe's son and other family members as well as any living relatives, no matter how distant. Making Anora a king is out of question. Not only is she but a creepy commoner that got to be queen by lying with the king, thus no better then a **** in my char's eyes, but she is blood relative of the traitor who caused the PC's kings and families death.
Not to mention that being a noble means for her too that blood relation is very important. Thus Alistair must be king, even if it means parting for ever. No way will she allow Morrigan to carry that blood in her dirty body. Not to mention that the goal is to kill the soul from that blood and let an ex-archdemon possess!!! that body. That is like stealing a kingdom!
Oooooh. Well, that makes sense. Try the city elf opener as a female and then get back to me. It does make a difference.
And I'm sorry for the pronoun difficulty, if you need to clarify I or me or my PC or whatever. Don't take that as an inability for me to separate the things in my head, they're very separate. I don't confuse the two and I don't want to disappear into Ferelden with Alistair or get revenge. This is purely a fiction conceit and I sort of move back and forth between "thinking" like the character and "thinking" like myself and both use the pronoun "I" to describe themselves.
The ONLY thing I (as a player) want is for Alistair to be on the roof, in love with me, and for me to punch him once so he lets me take the final blow. Breaks my heart every time he refuses to let me die. But my husband approves. He says he wouldn't let me die either and that's romantic and wonderful, but I have YET to get the eulogy yet because I can't get Alistair to let me because he loves me too much. So creating other problems to solve is a hobby. Yes, I've done the ritual. I've been the queen, I've been the elven Chancellor, I've survived and all that. But I have YET to get the stupid tin can to listen to me on the roof. So there you have it. Since I'm convinced I can't now, it just means I do another play through as a human female noble rogue (my favorite, i've finished the game twice with that setup and I enjoy it the most) and leave him at the gates because he won't listen to reason.
I have a tough time accepting that I can't sacrifice myself because Alistair loves me. A tough time. Several replays through of very tough time. Come to find out my husband wouldn't let me do it either, that just brings up all sorta questions about the nature of love and what you can and cannot do when people are that much in love. I'm sorta stuck on why I can't die just 'cause I'm a girl. All the men find it manly to not let his woman fall in battle and I find it womanly to not let my man fall in battle, particulary if Anora's the one who lives after that and I want to scratch her obnoxious eyes out.
The ultimate issue that comes down to it is - why is that true because I'm a girl? Why can only men be martyrs? Why not women? It's either a deep truth about the nature of love or a sexist conceit and I'm not sure which and probably both and I'm still thinking about it. But I'm also convinced my own husband would do the same and that in itself is disturbing, because then I'd be alone and angry. Romantically tragic apparently suits me, but I'd prefer to be the one leaving a good looking corpse. It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture, it's just that I appreciate it so much I want to do it myself.
Even in the mage starting game, Cullen has a crush on my female mage, confesses his infatuation in the tower and then in the epilogue if you don't side with the templars, snaps and goes on a homicidal rampage in the tower and gets himself killed. Oh come on, I'm the death of Cullen, too?
But every time I go through the game, I'm trying to keep my mate whole and alive. And it makes me sad as a player that I can't do that at least once by good means by some dint of gameplaying genius or high cunning. But that's the way it goes and it's just something I'm chewing on as a person and as a player and when I've figured it all out, I'll go do something else.
I have yet to decide if that's a sexist or racist or whatever real vibe or a veiled jab at the nature of men or women or love or what it is. I have yet to decide lots of things and multiple replays let me determine which bits of the story are misleading, badly written, beautifully written, bull or gold.
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