73 réponses à ce sujet

[CptData]

Guess my fiancee were jealous if she would know how much I care for that fictional character "Ashley". Then again, she's not interested in computer gaming (just click-adventures) and I also care for other ME!characters as well.

Thank God I never told her Ash is 100% my dream type. Results if I would? Unpredictable.

[shurikenmanta]

My ex probably would have tried to make me hook up my Shep with Cortez, lol.

[darthnick427]

CptData wrote...

Guess my fiancee were jealous if she would know how much I care for that fictional character "Ashley". Then again, she's not interested in computer gaming (just click-adventures) and I also care for other ME!characters as well.

Thank God I never told her Ash is 100% my dream type. Results if I would? Unpredictable.

Hmm too many variables to discern feasable answer.....however out come would most likely be *long deep breath*




Problematic...

[DiegoProgMetal]

Lol, same boat here. Except my wife hates video games. And hates ME even more.

[NekOoNinja]

sargon1986 wrote...
I want to ask you: how are your partners reacting to you romancing a fictional character in a game? Any of you experience similar issues?

 

I'm female and adore Garrus. The most my SO has called me is bonkers, with a turian fetish, because I'm gushing over a fictional character. He jokes that he's jealous, but not for real. We both like Garrus and Liara anyway.

But you shouldn't feel guilty. It's a fictional character, you are playing as a fictional person in the game. Its just difficult to seperate the emotions and thoughts sometimes.

Edit: So I typed and deleted a few more things, but I guess the bottom line to your situation is: Talk. Do the Shepard thing. Talk some more. Maybe there are some underlying issues you are not aware of? Do you spend enough time with her, or does she feel  as if you dont? Because I know I can get unreasonably mean sometimes, too, if my SO is glued to the xbox for a little too long.

Modifié par NekOoNinja, 23 mars 2012 - 01:33 .

[sargon1986]

NekOoNinja wrote...

I'm female and adore Garrus. The most my SO has called me is bonkers, with a turian fetish, because I'm gushing over a fictional character. He jokes that he's jealous, but not for real. We both like Garrus and Liara anyway.

But you shouldn't feel guilty. It's a fictional character, you are playing as a fictional person in the game. Its just difficult to seperate the emotions and thoughts sometimes.

Edit: So I typed and deleted a few more things, but I guess the bottom line to your situation is: Talk. Do the Shepard thing. Talk some more. Maybe there are some underlying issues you are not aware of? Do you spend enough time with her, or does she feel  as if you dont? Because I know I can get unreasonably mean sometimes, too, if my SO is glued to the xbox for a little too long.

I did talk to her today after reading some of your feedback in this thread and it seems the whole issue shifted in the right direction a little bit. It was a good decision to create a thread about this. Some of the feedback from you guys was really, really helpful. I appreciate it.  

I guess she just finds it hard to understand why would anyone romance an NPC if he/she is happy with someone in real life.

[Aver88]

It's hard for me to imagine such situation. If you are not obsessed with your LI on Japanese level then she shouldn't be jealous at all. It's just a game. Next time we will hear someone saying that killing people in games makes you want to kill people in real life....oh wait...

[Demonhoopa]

Nyila wrote...

sonicnymphonic wrote...

I will admit, though, that I got a bit too indulgent in my recounts of Brandon Keneer's ridiculously attractive voice. Otherwise, though, I can't really see how or why he'd be so legitimately upset by it all. Maybe I'm just not the jealous type.

I don't even mention to my husband how much I find male Shepard (Mark Meer)'s voice sexy. There are some things we need to keep to ourselves, we never really know what might offend our significant other. I'm lucky that my husband will just look at the screen while I play and make funny comments about the characters, he just doesn't care what I decide to do with them.

If my wife said that to me, I'd divorce her for bad taste.

[Aquarius]

sargon1986 wrote...
I guess she just finds it hard to understand why would anyone romance an NPC if he/she is happy with someone in real life.

The problem here is that she believes that you romanced Tali, not MaleShep. Maybe you should try to make her understand that being the player of the game does not automatically mean that you are the character you are playing. You could also try to play Mass Effect together.

I wonder how she would react if you played a female Shepard?

[Nykara]

Does she read romance novels or anything? It's the same thing only in a video game with a little more footage! In any case around here we both play Mass Effect. He did the Liara romance in his games and I did Kaidan in mine. Not at all jealous I have enjoyed playing the ME romances as much as he has and they are just images on a screen so no biggy.

[Nykara]

sargon1986 wrote...

NekOoNinja wrote...

I'm female and adore Garrus. The most my SO has called me is bonkers, with a turian fetish, because I'm gushing over a fictional character. He jokes that he's jealous, but not for real. We both like Garrus and Liara anyway.

But you shouldn't feel guilty. It's a fictional character, you are playing as a fictional person in the game. Its just difficult to seperate the emotions and thoughts sometimes.

Edit: So I typed and deleted a few more things, but I guess the bottom line to your situation is: Talk. Do the Shepard thing. Talk some more. Maybe there are some underlying issues you are not aware of? Do you spend enough time with her, or does she feel  as if you dont? Because I know I can get unreasonably mean sometimes, too, if my SO is glued to the xbox for a little too long.

I did talk to her today after reading some of your feedback in this thread and it seems the whole issue shifted in the right direction a little bit. It was a good decision to create a thread about this. Some of the feedback from you guys was really, really helpful. I appreciate it.  

I guess she just finds it hard to understand why would anyone romance an NPC if he/she is happy with someone in real life.

Just tell her it is a story - no different to sitting down and watching a movie only you get to make the choices of the direction the movie goes in ( which also includes who the main character hooks up with ) because it really is no different then becoming attached to characters in a movie or TV show.

[Avolie]

sargon1986 wrote...

First of all I would like say that I'm serious. Some of probably will find this issue very amusing however to me it is not a laughing matter.

Me and my fiance are both gamers - we both enjoy same types of games, mostly RPGs and MMO. We met each other 3 years ago in World of Warcraft. We played together since then, we even started our own raiding guild in WoW, a very successful one. It was a dream come true - a girl that not only totally understands my passion for video games but also shares it. I mean come on - how many girls that enjoy gaming are out there? Not that many. I was (and still am) considering myself a very lucky man.

One thing I didn't know is that she is so emotional, that she considers female NPCs ( NPCs! ) in video games as her rivals. It started with Mass Effect 2. I wanted to show her the whole Mass Effect series and convince her to try it out herself so I loaded my save right before the suicide mission... Yeah you guessed it - there's a romance scene as soon as you launch it. So Tali comes in, starts to touch my Shepard and tell him how much he means to her... My fiance freaked out, started to yell at me for being "unfaithful" - I didn't understand what the hell was going on at that time - why did she act like that? I mean... it's only a video game... Time passed and some time ago the exact same thing happened with ME3 - she overheard me romancing Tali. We started to talk... I learned that she doesnt understand why do I do this in game. She considers me having a romance in Mass Effect as I was cheating on her. I explained that I indeed get emotionally attached to the character I'm playing and to the NPC I interract with but it is still ONLY a game, the characters in it are fictional. I also said that I'm only doing this for the story and that romancing a character in Mass Effect has a huge impact on it. After my explanations she still does not understand and considers Mass Effect the work of the devil which has been created for the sole purpose of stealing me from her...

Yesterday I launched Mass Effect 1 again to play from the beginning, just for fun and I got to the point when I need to rescue Tali from Fist's gang members in the alley.. She got angry as soon as she heard her voice. "God... not that **** again..." she said :/ And then the conversation with Udina and Anderson: Tali: "I will be honored to join your crew Shepard.", my fiance: "Yeah I'm sure you are..." ^^ Thankfully yesterday's ''incident'' ended with a "sorry" from her. Her apology was certainly a step in the right direction but I sense that more situations like that will happen in the future.

I want to ask you: how are your partners reacting to you romancing a fictional character in a game? Any of you experience similar issues?

 

For some people (just read some Talimancer-Threads or google Tali fanart *g*) she is more than just a videogame-character ... sadly.

My boyfriend is completely fine with me dating Garrus in ME. He too likes his Garrus-Bromance. lol

[kaidanluv]

I talk about Kaidan all the time in front of my boyfriend. He just laughs about it.

[Reef_Raider]

I can't believe this is a post....noT becasue it is ridiculous but because I was going to post something very similar about this type of situation!!! My wife and I have been married for a little over two years...and this has been a minor "issue" that has been mentioned multiple times.

She is not an avid game player; however, she will often watch me play in the background while she is doing something else. She is somewhat similar to Miranda in personality and is always offended that I perfer the personality and character of Ashley in the game...something that she constantly reminds me of....

We are only 26 and have a young baby at home...so I don't have quite the free time I use to have premarriage; however, I would have never though my like for a videogame character's personality instead of one such as herself's would have been a bigger issue than the time spent playing!!! LOL

[Nemeria]

When I saw this post I thought about myself.   Both me and my husband are gamers and we use to play world of warcraft together too, we stopped though because we fought too much.  Mainly me getting mad at him not killing people fast enough when we were doing 2v2 .. lol. Anyways, I love rpg's especially when there is a love interest.  My husband was jealous when I played DA because he knew I romanced someone in the game. In MA, i romanced kaiden and i never let him watch me play especially when the romance scene is about to come on because it would be awkward for my husband to stare at me while i stare at kaidens bare chest lol .  i get why your girlfriend is jealous but i'm pretty sure if shes a gamer and she likes rpg's and mmo's, she would love this game  tell her to romance kaiden she will get off your back , trust me

[Stokie Stallion]

My Ex used to be jealous of isabella in DA 2, thought it was cute

[rudenotginger]

My husband and I both play ME. I'm not much of a gamer otherwise, but I love ME. I have a thing for Kaidan. He's my "type": tall, dark and handsome, like my husband. When we talk about our ME romances, I always talk about my FemShep's feelings towards Kaidan, not mine, but my husband's not an idiot, he probably figures I have a bit of a crush going on. But neither of us are jealous people at all. Being in a committed relationship/engaged/married doesn't mean you suddenly turn to stone, crushes and harmless flirting happen and it doesn't mean anything. I for one don't find jealousy "cute". It's usually a sign of either being very insecure, or of wanting to control your partner. Both big red flags. Being jealous of fictional characters seems particularly extreme. You can't be unfaithful with a fictional character, it doesn't exist.

Are you two going through any type of premarital counselling? If not, I highly recommend it. These issues won't go away once you're married, and if she reacts that badly to a fictional character, I can't imagine how she reacts to female friends and coworkers.

Good luck OP. I wish you the best in your relationship.

ETA: I'm not an idiot either, I can tell my husband has a thing for Miranda. I don't care.

Modifié par rudenotginger, 23 mars 2012 - 05:53 .

[Reikilea]

Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend who would like Mass Effect.

Instead of this, all I ever got was boyfriend jealous of Bioware.

And they only thinks its wierd that I am fixated on fictional character.

[mireisen]

I am a female gamer, so is my fiance. We didn't meet through an online game, but on eHarmony. So online stuff is our thing.

I had no issues with him romancing characters, or vice versa. In fact, we tease each other for it. In Skyrim he romanced the shopkeeper and I teased him that she was useless and only made one meal for him; said "I'm Martha Stewart compared to that skank!". He knew I found Vilkas' voice sexy and started to pretend-rage when my PC married him. Then he'd tease me once Vilkas was nothing more than a mule for my PC's gear.

He even knows that I have a thing for Garrus. He totally supports it. "That dragon is so smooth..." but of course my fiance being so awesome as he is, "But I'm better ".

So, shorthand, your fiance clearly has issues. It's not that it's a game...it's that she thinks you're being unfaithful to her. Whether it is because you spend "more time" with Tali, who knows? I sure don't want my fiance getting all insecure and comparing himself to Garrus. Would I want to sleep with Garrus personally? Hell no. Chafing is not my thing, probably my FemShep's but not mine. He's not real. My fiance is. Plus he's never going to say "califbrations" to be twice.

Some role-players consider it cheating when their player characters fall in love with another role-player's character. That's silly. The boundaries for me would definitely be the same as if he were to call up a sex hotline. If they role-play sex scenes; that's when I'll be a little nervous. But for a role-player's character to a NPC? No way. They can sex it up all they want; it'll only prompt me to tease him like that guy on WoW...to an elf avatar...

[Saodade]

First you both met yourselves in a game and so your first feelings have been just virtuas. Here you have a virtual affair with Tali (an npc), she think that since you need another "romance feeling" it mean that you are not satisfied with the one you share with her and isn't enough for you= she feel insecure and rejected.She is not jealous of the pnj but more of the time you spend romancing elsewhere.Well that is the only one way I could understand such strong response.
My husband himself  think it is all benefits for him if I'm glad and happy in a game

Modifié par Saodade, 23 mars 2012 - 07:28 .

[Eowyn77]

My husband and I have been playing RP games since the beginning of our relationship. We have each romanced people in both Dragon Age and ME, most of the time right in front of each other. And we talk about the romances and what we did and didn't like about them. Hell, I even grew quite attached to a few of them, coughThane. It's all part of the RP gaming experience. For those of you who are finding that your significant other is becoming jealous of your virtual LI I would ask yourself how emotionally secure your partner really feels in your relationship. I would also question their level of comprehension of the RP gaming world. Maybe it really isn’t for them and they are only “into” it because you are.

Modifié par Eowyn77, 23 mars 2012 - 07:45 .

[Eowyn77]

mireisen wrote...

I am a female gamer, so is my fiance. We didn't meet through an online game, but on eHarmony. So online stuff is our thing.

I had no issues with him romancing characters, or vice versa. In fact, we tease each other for it. In Skyrim he romanced the shopkeeper and I teased him that she was useless and only made one meal for him; said "I'm Martha Stewart compared to that skank!".

LOL! This is my husband and I exactly.

[zennyrpg]

My fiance and i are both gamers. He introduced me to ME, i actually watched him play the first two and then just recently played them myself, in preparation for the new one.

I'm glad he romanced Tali. It just confirmed his good taste . I think I like the romance scenes as much or more than he does. I'm romancing Garrus in one play through and Liara in another.

My suggestion to most relationship issues is just to talk about it. That's what he taught me. We don't share all the same interests but we respect/are okay with our differences. I like to play pen and pencil rpgs, but he doesn't. At first I was a little mad he wouldn't try it, but its okay, its even good to have separate hobbies sometimes.

[mrs_anomaly]

For all of you that have spouses/significant others that are also gamers..lucky lucky you! As a married woman- *I'm* the gamer of the house. I'm 36 and I've been with my husband since I was 17.
@Sargon: I know a lot of people are saying it is out of hand for your gf to be upset about an NPC. I'm here to tell you that it isn't actually. I don't agree that our spouses and bf's and gf's should necessarily see our crushes or fun with NPC's as a threat to our relationships but the problem is if someone is extremely vulnerable and insecure they will need reassurance. She probably also needs counseling :\\. I'm not saying this because her issue is with a gaming NPC but rather that since she's actually expressed something about the issue who knows how deeply this insecurity runs afterall- basically you could be potentially dealing with the tip of the iceberg regarding her insecurity and jealousies.
Of course this is possessive behavior. Through life experience I can tell you that if she really gives you a hard time about this- she will end up regretting it. Your best course of action would be to reassure her as much as possible and be as level headed as you can. If she persists that your gaming love interests are "wrong" etc I would suggest couples counseling for real.
You've mentioned that she has had a lot of bad relationships- is it the chicken or the egg. There is probably an underlying issue that she needs to address with herself. I'm not ever going to say she's being silly or immature, her feelings are real, she just has to learn how to handle them without 1)assuming the worst 2)accusing you of doing something wrong. At least she did bring this up, hopefully, in a sane manner instead of crushing your ME3 disc or something LOL