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[tanisha__unknown]

This critique is from the german amazon website and considered the most helpful one. I tried to translate it. I hope, my english is understandable



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Act I

Boss: Okay,
fellows, good job. Still 8 weeks left till release day.

Developer:
Well, thanks to the …err.. voluntary overtime hours you ordered we will meet
the schedule. Only the end is missing. 
The great finale. But don’t worry, we already worked out everything.: An
explanation about where the reapers come from, what they want, paragon and
renegade options, an outlook on the future of Shepard’s comrades and the
different races and how Shepard influenced their fate…

Boss: Yeah,
sure. That’s not urgent.  The most
important aspect you have to work on now is to integrate our origin spy…err…
software. Without it our product will be incomplete.

Developer:
Errmm… Okay. Five weeks might be enough to develop the finale. Probably we
could set up some beds in the office.

Boss: Do
you honestly think we would run the heating over night? No way. But concerning
the product: Remove this Javik-alien from the game.

Developer:
What? She’s an integral part of the story. We did some hard work on it…

Boss: And she
stays part of the story, but only for cash cows …err… customers willing to pay
for it. I’m sick of those leeches who think they get the full story just
because they paid for the game. And think of those who sell it again…

Developer:
But… that’s impossible… we don’t have the time…

Boss: You
are still left with eight weeks. Get working. I’ll be having lunch.

Act II

Developer:
The changes you …err… proposed are made. Four weeks are not enough to make the
finale as originally intended but probably…

Boss: Don’t
you dare ask for a delay of the release date. I’ll dock the costs off your pay.

Developer:  … probably the endings were to comprehensive
in the first place. If we shorten one or two things it will still be
sufficient.

Boss: Good.
Just one more thing: You know my son Hannes? I want him to be in the game. Hmm,
he’s only six, so he’s maybe a bit too young to be a squadmate of Shepard, but
probably…

Developer:
What?!! But…

Boss: Huh,
I’ve got an idea: Set up some dramatic dream sequences where he runs after
him. I’ve seen this once in a psychological thriller, it surely fits in here,
too. Believe me, everybody wants to experience his or her avatar as slightly
mentally fragile.

Developer:
But what about the ending? We are only left with four weeks. Developing new
scenes is very time-consuming.

Boss: Do as I said!

 

Act III

Boss: I
like it, you got his blond hair well.

Developer:
Err…, thank you. Can we start with the ending now? It will be difficult to set
something up in the remaining two weeks, but if we just tell the most basic stuff,
leave out some characters, reuse vids instead
of developing new ones and let all endings be pretty much the same, we can
still meet the deadline.

Boss: Of
course!

Developer:
Puh, we will start outright…

Boss: Just
one moment. In the last meeting the management decided they should contribute
to the game, too. After all they get the highest salary, so it was a logical
conclusion to let them develop the ending. I explained the story to them as I
got it from the ad posters – something about big machines threatening to destroy
all life in the galaxy. They’ve got an awesome idea on how to solve everything.

Developer:
Gulp…

Boss: Forget
about all the **** that happened in the last games. None of the management has
played them either. The ending goes like this:…

Act IV

Only
available as DLC