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Intoxication Theory (which means fact): Youtube Summary!! updated for the Extended Cut!!! 6/26/2012


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#126
wheelierdan

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MalevoIence wrote...

The Drunken Theory actually does make alot of sense..... answers why there aren't any fat people in the mass effect universe. That's proof right there


yet another gem based only on in game fact. added to the op

#127
ejkeecha

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MalevoIence wrote...

The Drunken Theory actually does make alot of sense..... answers why there aren't any fat people in the mass effect universe. That's proof right there


and all the females chests have gotten "enhanced".
Not to mention that they all appeared to become more attractive with each version of Mass Effect!

Modifié par ejkeecha, 27 mars 2012 - 06:22 .


#128
ardensia

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Slash1667 wrote...

ejkeecha wrote...

It all makes sense. He was drunk and imagining all the hero worship that he would receive. How do you explain all the coincidental meetings wherever he went. It's all in his head. I'll go to this school, oh hi Jack.
I'll go to this colony, oh hi Jacob, etc...

All the evidence is here for the intoxification FACT.
Bioware, make it happen.


Ok the school and Jack thing was his desire to see Jack either in a school girl uniform or as a Teacher type disaplinarian.

Jacob at a colony? Shepard must be WAAAAAAY drunker than we thought


Nah. Jacob still owes Shepherd a drink.

#129
GBGriffin

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MalevoIence wrote...

The Drunken Theory actually does make alot of sense..... answers why there aren't any fat people in the mass effect universe. That's proof right there


You just blew my mind! This explains why there are no obese asari spilling out of their gowns!

#130
Slash1667

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MalevoIence wrote...

The Drunken Theory actually does make alot of sense..... answers why there aren't any fat people in the mass effect universe. That's proof right there


Hmmm....seems to support the beer goggles effect

#131
Slash1667

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ardensia wrote...

Slash1667 wrote...

ejkeecha wrote...

It all makes sense. He was drunk and imagining all the hero worship that he would receive. How do you explain all the coincidental meetings wherever he went. It's all in his head. I'll go to this school, oh hi Jack.
I'll go to this colony, oh hi Jacob, etc...

All the evidence is here for the intoxification FACT.
Bioware, make it happen.


Ok the school and Jack thing was his desire to see Jack either in a school girl uniform or as a Teacher type disaplinarian.

Jacob at a colony? Shepard must be WAAAAAAY drunker than we thought


Nah. Jacob still owes Shepherd a drink.


OH I get the Jacob fever dream now

#132
MalevoIence

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ardensia wrote...

MalevoIence wrote...

The Drunken Theory actually does make alot of sense..... answers why there aren't any fat people in the mass effect universe. That's proof right there


Intoxication Theory.

But you're right.


I cant spell that write now...... *grabs a Jack Daniels*

#133
wheelierdan

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we need a banner!

#134
Eckswhyzed

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Slash1667 wrote...

wheelierdan wrote...

Smeffects wrote...

Udina: What about Shepard? He was a war hero, but hes always drinking his ass off on shore leaves.
Hackett: He puked his guts out during the mission on akuze.
Udina: Is that the kind of person we want protecting the galaxy?
Anderson: Its the only kind of person that can protect the galaxy, what ever he does he forgets the day after, makes him impartial.
Udina: Ill make the calls.
Anderson: Dont bother Shepard always wakes up in the afternoon.


i totally heard that whole thing in my head with proper voice acting.



Unfortunately I did too



HELP ME I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

#135
ejkeecha

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At the end he also had some options with the beer blimp (citadel). Hence why they centred it over earth:
1. Control the brewery.
2. Jump into the brewery vat so he can become one with the beer.
3. Blow it up so he successfully passed his AA test.

Modifié par ejkeecha, 27 mars 2012 - 06:29 .


#136
Smeffects

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MalevoIence wrote...

Smeffects wrote...

MalevoIence wrote...

The Indoctrination Theorists are the ones that forget what a theory means.......It's like talking to someone who swore they saw bigfoot when arguing with those ppl


DUDE listen there buddy, if bigfoot wasent real why would he have hair? I mean look if he wasent real he wouldnt have big feets and we wouldnt have called him big foot! Who would make up stuff like this?


OMG you're right!!... I've been so blind :D , I should start giving those people I once called crazy loonies a little more respect than I have been now..... big feet, big foot.... Indoctrination theory.... flying spaghetti monster.... it all makes sense now.... 

I worry about the Zelda timeline ppl too.... almost the same thing... they can't admit each game is simply its own story and have to piece together some half-assed timeline with in-game dialogue and vague assumptions


Wait a minute there, Zelda time line is as solid as rock covered in armor plating. I have long studied Zelda time lines, i came to the conclusion that the whole Zelda universe characters are in some sort of time loop that actually keep their counciousness but change the universe all around them every time. I was able to explain what the **** the windwaker is, let me explain. First Oot was right before windwaker in my time line, what we know is that ganon was exiled in some white place alone, very depressing. What does an evil wizard do while depressed? He eats alot of fried chicken and ice cream with drill pickles. Now this time the universe changed again for windwaker, but that weight he gained stayed. Which explain why ganon is so fat in Windwaker. We can conclude from the evidance that OoT took place 2 months before Windwaker, because he put up at least a good 40 pounds.

Modifié par Smeffects, 27 mars 2012 - 06:31 .


#137
wheelierdan

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ejkeecha wrote...

At the end he also had some options on controlling the brewery (citadel):
1. Control the brewery.
2. Jump into the brewery vat so he can become one with the beer.
3. Blow it up so he successfully passed his AA test.


i love it especially your take on synthesis.

#138
GabrielK

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Awww man, I thought the Intoxication Theory was gonna be about how the people who wrote the ending were drunk!

#139
Eckswhyzed

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wheelierdan wrote...

ejkeecha wrote...

At the end he also had some options on controlling the brewery (citadel):
1. Control the brewery.
2. Jump into the brewery vat so he can become one with the beer.
3. Blow it up so he successfully passed his AA test.


i love it especially your take on synthesis.


This is the link to synthesis - the green drink you can buy on the citadel! IT's the third drink other than the red and blue bottles!



#140
Leonia

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GabrielK wrote...

Awww man, I thought the Intoxication Theory was gonna be about how the people who wrote the ending were drunk!


There's no reason that can't be the case even if the theory is correct.

#141
ardensia

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wheelierdan wrote...

ejkeecha wrote...

At the end he also had some options on controlling the brewery (citadel):
1. Control the brewery.
2. Jump into the brewery vat so he can become one with the beer.
3. Blow it up so he successfully passed his AA test.


i love it especially your take on synthesis.


Yyyyeeeeaaaahhhh.... In light of this theory, I think I'm still glad I went with the synthesis ending.

#142
MalevoIence

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ejkeecha wrote...

MalevoIence wrote...

The Drunken Theory actually does make alot of sense..... answers why there aren't any fat people in the mass effect universe. That's proof right there


and all the females chests have gotten "enhanced".
Not to mention that they all appeared to become more attractive with each version of Mass Effect!


Wth happened to Diana Allers then..... God..... hard to imagine how her face looks when Im not drunk

Image IPB 

#143
cyrrant

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After doing some digging, and a couple drinks, I managed to find incontrivertible PROOF that intoxication theory is 100% factual.

Image IPB

Modifié par cyrrant, 27 mars 2012 - 06:43 .


#144
Zaidra

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Jack_Forest wrote...

Well, it could always be Imagination TheoryWell, it could always be Imagination Theory - Grandpa simply made up this whole thing as a good story to his grandchild. Of course, this is even worse than the actual ending, but at least it helps explain everything.


I was wondering about that one myself....


To think that everything wasn't real.... Tali and Garrus.... and Legion and Liara and all of them.... *sigh* and yet, they aren't real, are they? Why am I fine with them not being real in real life, but them not being real in a video game makes me disappointed? xD 

#145
wheelierdan

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Eckswhyzed wrote...

wheelierdan wrote...

ejkeecha wrote...

At the end he also had some options on controlling the brewery (citadel):
1. Control the brewery.
2. Jump into the brewery vat so he can become one with the beer.
3. Blow it up so he successfully passed his AA test.


i love it especially your take on synthesis.


This is the link to synthesis - the green drink you can buy on the citadel! IT's the third drink other than the red and blue bottles!

added to the op i never saw this in game, nice job





#146
wheelierdan

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cyrrant i love that but could you cut most of the rest out? i dont want to get in trouble for posting an image from the app but id still love to get the "martini glass" shot:)

#147
MalevoIence

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Zaidra wrote...

Jack_Forest wrote...

Well, it could always be Imagination TheoryWell, it could always be Imagination Theory - Grandpa simply made up this whole thing as a good story to his grandchild. Of course, this is even worse than the actual ending, but at least it helps explain everything.


I was wondering about that one myself....


To think that everything wasn't real.... Tali and Garrus.... and Legion and Liara and all of them.... *sigh* and yet, they aren't real, are they? Why am I fine with them not being real in real life, but them not being real in a video game makes me disappointed? xD 


That right there is actually a far more sound explaination than all the speculatory evidence those indoc theory ppl come up with......

"I am Commander Shepard and I endorse this Theory"

#148
cyrrant

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wheelierdan wrote...

cyrrant i love that but could you cut most of the rest out? i dont want to get in trouble for posting an image from the app but id still love to get the "martini glass" shot:)


Sure thing, boss, I'll edit the original post and cut it out a little more.  Gimmie a minute.

EDIT: See if that's more to your liking.  Pretty much everything is out, and what's not is covered by my drunken OMG scrawlings.

Modifié par cyrrant, 27 mars 2012 - 06:45 .


#149
ardensia

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Zaidra wrote...

Jack_Forest wrote...

Well, it could always be Imagination TheoryWell, it could always be Imagination Theory - Grandpa simply made up this whole thing as a good story to his grandchild. Of course, this is even worse than the actual ending, but at least it helps explain everything.


I was wondering about that one myself....


To think that everything wasn't real.... Tali and Garrus.... and Legion and Liara and all of them.... *sigh* and yet, they aren't real, are they? Why am I fine with them not being real in real life, but them not being real in a video game makes me disappointed? xD 


Oh, no. Tali and Garrus and Liara are real. Not sure about Legion. Anyone you met in ME1 is definitely real. Shepherd just has distorted perceptions of them post-Batarian bar tender.

#150
GBGriffin

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Ok, this gave me serious chills. Like, I'm becoming more and more convinced that this *has* to be true.

Look at this. There is no way that the similarity between Harbinger and the Kraken Rum label is just a coincidence. I think that this is irrefutable proof of the underlying alcoholic tone throughout the series!

The main bad guy appears on a liquor bottle!!!

Image IPB