149 réponses à ce sujet

[DragonRacer]

Had a hilarious exchange earlier tonight.

Was in a room with a Quarian Infiltrator, Geth Engineer, and Male Human Vanguard (I was a Krogan Soldier). All of us except the geth had a mic on, and the other two were guys. For background, I am a woman (and, apparently, that is uber freakin' rare on this game, even more rare with mics).

We had already been talking for a while, so I thought it pretty obvious that I was a female.

The topic shifted to which character did you romance in single player.

Quarian Infiltrator: "Tali."

Male Human Vanguard: "Liara."

Then, they asked me. "Who did you romance, Dragon?"

I said, "Garrus."

The awkward silence afterwards was palpable.

I then added, "Come on! You know it's all about that Turian a**!"

I swear, the awkward silence turned into horrified squeaks.

Then, Vanguard says, "Please don't get offended, but I have to ask -- are you a guy or a girl?"

Told them I was a chick. Then said, "Don't worry. Women don't exist on the Internet anyway, so I'm really just a figment of your imagination. Drink less Red Bull, boys!" Everybody laughed.

Although, I was vaguely disturbed because I really didn't think I sounded... I dunno, NOT like a chick?

Maybe it was just the shock of a Krogan saying they'd romanced Garrus did it.

Modifié par DragonRacer, 26 avril 2012 - 02:05 .

[FollowMeClosely]

My sister was over a couple of nights ago, so I had the volume on the surround sound turned up a little so she could hear the game while I was playing. My daughter (who's almost 3 1/2) was in the room was with us. I was playing with my Brogan Battlemaster and my daughter could hear him laughing and immediately starting up mimicking his maniacal laughter. Of course I have my mic on so the other players (one of my friends included) could hear this little girl laughing like a demented Krogan in Rage. Needless to say, my friend who was the only one with his mic on, got a kick out of it while I was *facepalming*.

[Karimloo]

"I wish we could romance EDI just to break jokers dreams, and ruin his life even more, just for kicks and then kill EDI with the Destroy ending."

"Dude."

"I broke his dreams"
"I broke his dreams"
"I broke his dreams"
"I broke his knees"

"I dropped, like, a light text book on his legs"

Modifié par Karimloo, 26 avril 2012 - 02:35 .

[sliven020]

This was a while ago, silver match, cerberus, all of us are dead save for this one salarian infiltrator, and an atlas. He's working to kill the thing when another atlas turns the corner behind it, to which he responds "Oh, **** me theres two of 'em." He then reassures us, "Don't worry guys, I got this." So then it turns into apattern of him cloak, aim, fire, reload, rinse, repeat, for good couple of minutes. And then he starts singing "I've been workin' on the railroad."

[homiejess]

"I don't like playing as a Salarian because they are squishy".

Really? I don't even know what that means. But it did make me laugh.

[MizterBizkits]

homiejess wrote...

"I don't like playing as a Salarian because they are squishy".

Really? I don't even know what that means. But it did make me laugh.

Soft, low health, low shields. Dies quick. BAM NERDSPEAK
Whoops. Forgot the banter.
Me: "I'll just cloak and disable the device."
Friend: "You do that."
Me "Hackhackhack wait...that Swarmer's scuttling at me. That Swarmer knows I'm here. That Swarmer knows! THAT SWARMER KNOWS!"

Modifié par MizterBizkits, 26 avril 2012 - 02:58 .

[-WeAreLegion-]

A couple of other guys and I randomly paired up on Gold, what followed was one of the most hilarious matches I've ever been in. Some banter:

Quarian Infiltrator upon hacking about 5 Pyros at once: "RISE, MY CHILDREN!"

Me: after I deploy a decoy in a crowd: good little Geth, turn around so I can come up from behind and kill you...
Everyone in response to former: that's just a tad creepy...

[D4rk50ul808]

I had a Salarian player recite Kirihe's speech from ME1 about holding the line in a match against Reapers. Unfortunately his Clone couldn't understand what he was saying and he got sync killed by a Banshee. It was pretty awesome though I laughed for about 4 waves.

[FollowMeClosely]

Another instance. I was playing a match with two friends and a random. The random was a Drell so Friend1 starts talking smack about Thane, knowing it pisses me off. So I mute F1 and he later gets insta-killed.

Me: *walks up to F1's corpse* I spit on your body. That's for Thane!
Friend2: Say the whole line.
Me: What?... Oh! That was for Thane, you son of a b****!

Me, F2, and Random all break into laughter while F1 misses the fun.

[afmn]

X: holu sh** theres like 5 phantoms coming up the stairs!
**i fire a missle**
Me: no there isnt.

[joker_jack]

Always fun to hear "get to da choppa" during extraction.

[SAmaster01]

I had a lot of really good dialogue with people online, but unfortunately can't remember what anyone said aside from me.

I played as a Geth and made a lot of robot jokes
A couple of Atlas' knocked me out.
"Why is everyone picking on the little Robot?"

Also whenever someone get's knocked out:
"Don't worry, I'll reanimate your zombie bones!"

Playing as a Krogan Vanguard on Silver:
"This is probably a really stupid idea."
Biotic Charges, Melee's
"Hey that actually worked! I was not expecting that!"

And a couple of nights ago, somewhere or another I mentioned a complaint about the ending, and one person stated that he hadn't seen the ending, having stopped right before the London Mission. So me and the three other dudes start explaining the ending to him, (with his permission, he didn't mind spoilers) including the destruction of the Relays, the destroy option killing off EDI and the Geth, the Control Option which meant the Illusive Man was right, and a long drawn out tangent about the synthesis option turning everything into cyborgs, including us, the Geth, and all of the space toasters, and were were all laughing incredibly hard as we were talking about the living cyborg toasters.
And at the end I told him, "I know it must seem like we're not doing a good job of explaining the endigs, but no, it's actually this bad."

[Ziegrif]

4 krogans doing a silver.
Getting objectives like destroy, and disable.
Then the hacking objective comes up.
Krogan sentinel: ALLRIGHT! LET'S DO THIS!... anyone here know how to use a computer?

[Amftron]

The only thing i've ever said that i was proud of was during a silver match not long after the DLC came out....

Me, Asari Vanguard, random soldier and something else, and a Batarian Soldier.

I'm throwing stasis about everywhere, not bothering with headshots cause they're doing a good job of cleaning house.... i start to focus on the Batarian, and how he's murdering everything.

I follow him for the wave, droppng stasis bubbles on everything in front of him, he's falcon punching like a mother****er....

and then it happens...

"i am the very model of a meleeing Batarian"

Can't remember the rest of what i sang, i wish i could. I should play drunk more often.

[zeal.assassin]

Me: Hey dude watch out for phantom its right behind
Geth Engineer: S***!
Phantom stab engineer
Me: Sorry dude

This is the same guy(geth engineer) I mention in the other thread that didn't know we was doing gold until wave 3 or 4.
-----
Human Vanguard: Hey dude can you revive me
Me: Nah something wrong with my connection.
Me: Its working now.
I let the revive circle gets about half way before letting go
Me: Sorry connection acting up dude.
Salarian Engineer finally revive him.
Next wave this same vanguard biotic charge a Geth Prime with its barrier up.
H.V: Hey someone come revive me
S.E: No, let this be a lesson to your dumb***
I started laughing next thing you know the H.V starts mouthing off at the S.E.
Next round the H.V falls right beside the S.E. The S.E runs to the other side of the map.
I end up reviving the vanguard, few secs later he gets taken down.

Modifié par zeal.assassin, 30 avril 2012 - 12:32 .

[StickySalarian]

I've had so many amazing conversations but only a few stand out, especially this one with a guy I know, and then two guys I didn't know.

Friend: Whoa, Beth, you don't want to do that, there's two Phantoms over there.
Geth: Yeah, not smart....wait, hold on, the drell is a girl?
Friend:...Dude, I've been calling her 'Bethany' this whole match.
Salarian:.....*Charges towards Phantoms* PROTECT THE WOMANNNNNNNNNNNN! *Impaled by Phantom*
Meanwhile, I, who did not have a mic at the time, just sat there and giggled.

Also:
Krogan: Wait, are you going to melee a Phantom!? Who does that!?
Me: *Punches Phantom, phantom dies*
Fellow Drell: PINK-CLAD DRELL DOES NOT CARE FOR YOUR BULLSH**

And, of course:
Quarian: *Impaled by a Banshee* YAY! I'm gonna go tell my mom I just got penetrated!....By a woman!....Wait. Whut.

Finally:
Geth: *Walks up to dead Asari* Aha, my chance finally arrives....Uh, I mean....beep boop boop beep and other robot stuff. Ahem.

Will probably post more when I remember them. xD;

Modifié par StickySalarian, 30 avril 2012 - 02:43 .

[cronshaw]

Played with two guys that were high the other night. Kept talking about it the whole match, they weren't bad either, though they did die quite a bit. It was funny though half the stuff they were saying was unintelligable, the other half was about how baked they were.

[Mr.DaveCR]

March 7th, 2012; first or second multiplayer match (not counting demo) and some kid says: "I love this, it's like Call of Duty but in third person" :-S

[TheThirdSpectre]

'Bro, why in the hell are you using the Locust on the Krogan Vanguard? <sigh>

Also, I jumped into a match with a guy playing with his girlfriend. They were a funny bunch:

Guy: 'Shockwave the bosses, you'll get a Biotic Explosion if I Warp them first.'
Girl: 'I thought I was the one doing the Warping?'
Guy: 'Well <long pause>, change of plans, deal with it.'

They had no clue what the hell they were doing...

[Crimson Vanguard]

My friends: (Group of) Phantoms!!!!
Me (GI Falcon with Disruptor Ammo) blew those Phantoms into Oblivion
Me: Phantom what?

Look at the above posters.

Oooooo almighty 

Modifié par Crimson Vanguard, 20 janvier 2013 - 01:49 .

[OmegaXis8009]

Cerberus calling me horrible

Modifié par OmegaXis8009, 20 janvier 2013 - 01:47 .

[Lyrandori]

Funny but indirectly due to my horrible English-destroying accent.

During the match (was using my microphone, which I rarely do since most players don't anyway) I gave warnings on the whereabouts of specific units. We were fighting the Reapers (London map). So I said things like "Banshee is here" or "Two Brutes over there". But since my accent is horrible it ended up like this...

Me: "Be careful the Banshee is coming here".
Guy: "...sorry what's that?".
Me: "Go back the Banshee is coming here!".

*He keeps firing at other units while the Banshee is on her way from the spawn towards the upper level up the stairs*

Me: "The Banshee is here!".

*I keep firing at her and she stops and does her biotic discharge around her*

Guy: "Sorry I can't unders...."

*Banshee biotic discharge knocks him back as he replied*

Guy: "Holy crap there's a Banshee!".

... <_<

And, also, why he could hear me (hear, but not understand) and not hear the Banshee (regardless of my warning) is beyond me.

[AnimaMachinae]

Plat game, extraction
Player 1: Oh ****, oh ****, oh **** *grabbed by banshee*
Player 2: Did she grab you tiny little ass?
Me: ...He was a volus...they don't have small behinds

[hearydiver]

Joined a game in progess

"Oh snap we gots a volus!"
Killed three enemies with claymore in one shot.
"OH DAYUM HE'S SALTY AS SATAN, TOO!"
quiet white guy: "mmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmm"

[Star fury]

Holy ****! Almost a year passed since I started playing MP. Time really flies.