6 réponses à ce sujet

[Blayzereborn]

This is the first draft of a conversation I plan on using as the first conversation in an Origin story for my project. My biggest concern at the moment is that I'm going to end up making it too long -- but I don't know how long will be too long for the people playing it. I know it's going to differ from person to person, but I can at least get an estimate at the average.

---

[Your Room, Dormitories]

(A0) Roommate: "Hey! Wake up, damn it, you're gonna miss all the fun!"
> "Huh? Keiran? What time is it?" (A1)
> "Ten more minutes..." (A2)

(A1) "Ten o'clock, but that's not important. What *is* important is that we're missing the party!"
> "Party? What party?" (B0)
> "You go on without me. This bed and I have some catching up to do." (B1)
> "Crap! It's Mageday! Thanks for warning me, Keiran!" (B2)

(A2) "Don't make me conjure water in your bed to get you up."
> "You wouldn't dare." (C1)
> "Alright, alright, I'm getting up already... slavedriver." (C2)

(B0) "Only the greatest party of the year, for the greatest holiday of the year!"
> "Er... can't remember. Refresh my memory." (D0)
> "Christmas?" (D1)
> "Crap! I'm missing Mageday?!" (D2)

(B1) "Not gonna happen. Last time you slept through this holiday, you whined about it for a week afterwards. My poor ears can't stand going through *that* again."
> "Very funny. Remind me to kill you the next chance I get." (E0)
> "Fine, fine. I'll remember this when you want a favour." (E1)
> "I wasn't that bad, was I?" (E2)

(B2) "Hey, no problem. Wouldn't want you to miss out on the festivities."
> "Well, what're we waiting for? Let's hit that party!" (F0)
> "Give me a minute to get dressed." (F1)
> "You go on ahead, I'll catch you up." (F2)

(C1) "Oh, I dare." [Keiran summons a levitating pool of cold water above the player's bed, then soaks them with it.]
> "C-cold! You bastard!" (G0)
> "Argh!" (G1)

(C2) "Good. Trust me, you don't want to miss it this year."
> "Why's that?" (H0)
> "Good food, great drinks and beautiful women, am I right?" (H1)

(D0) "Mageday. Remember? The day magic was discovered?"
> "What's so special about it?" (I0)
> "Ah, so it's essentially magic's birthday." (I1)
> "Tell me more about this holiday." (I2)
> "How much do you know about when magic was discovered?" (I3)

(E0) "Heh, not likely. Warning given, not my concern, see you at the party." [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(E1) "Fair enough. Anyway, you've been warned, it's not my problem if you miss today or not. See you there. [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(E2) "Are you kidding? You wouldn't shut up about it. You even made me promise to get you up next time -- which means I get to do *this*! [Keiran summons a levitating pool of cold water above the player's bed, then soaks them with it.]
> "C-cold! You bastard!" (G0)
> "Argh!" (G1)

(F0) "Now you're talking! Just make sure you're dressed first. While you *would* make quite an impression, it *is* a bit cold out there. Gotta go now, see you there in a bit!" [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(F1) "Now you're talking! See you there!" [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(F2) "Gotcha. Right, see you there." [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(G0) "You're damn right I'm a bastard. Now get your lazy arse out of bed, get dressed and let's party."
> "Fine, fine. Just give me a minute to get dressed." (F1)

(G1) "Consider that payback for making me miss some of this holiday. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got partying to do." [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(H0) "Are you kidding me? The Inner Circle themselves are here, this means *world-class* catering.
> "The Inner Circle? Are they a band?" (J0)
> "I still have nightmares of that time they all got food poisoning at a party." (J1)

(H1) "You understand perfectly. Now if you'll excuse me, the aforementioned food, drink and beauties are calling to me." [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.]

(I0) "Without magic, we wouldn't have a party today! That alone makes it special."
> "You're right. Thanks for the party, magic!"
> "To be honest, I'd rather have my family back."

(I1) "Damn straight. And as it's a birthday, you know what that means?"
> "It's time to drink until we fall over!"
> "It's time to stuff our faces with food!"
> "It's time to tie someone to a tree naked!"

(I2) "Are you serious? There's a party to be had, and you want to talk about it?"
> "Just humour me."
> "You're right. Let's go."
> "You're right. Go on ahead, I'll get dressed and catch up."

(I3) "I... never really listened, to be honest. Ask one of the tutors if you want to know more -- try Mr. Renke."
> "Mr. Renke? That's unusually polite, coming from you."
> "Mr. Renke. Got it. Right, let's get to partying."

(J0) *snort* "You know perfectly well that they're the Council leaders. I wouldn't suggest cracking a joke about them anywhere in public, though -- you just know they'll find out somehow."
> "Yeah, I still have nightmares of that time they all got food poisoning at a party." (J1)

(J1) "Nobody else could get away with turning three people inside out for giving them the runs. S'pose that's what comes with effectively ruling a country."
> "It'd be nice to have that sort of power, wouldn't it?"
> "I hate people like that. Power doesn't mean you can act like an ****."

[SilentCid]

Looks good, a bit of typing that's going to be done for just this one conversation. You had this on some of the lines: [Keiran leaves, conversation ends, player gets out of bed.] You should continue with that for some of the other lines that ends the dialog mode. If you truly feel that it's too long you could shorten it up by linking one of the lines to be used more than once--The main campaign does this quite often.

[Blayzereborn]

Heh, yeah. That conversation goes on past Z and onto 6 on my numbering convention, although a fair few are differently-worded ways to end the conversation. And the [] brackets are just there for my own benefit as actions I need to remember. Thanks foq your thoughts.

[Ambaryerno]

Speaking as a(n amateur) writer, conversations should go on as long as they need to to get their point across. But I guess writing for movies/games where there's the viewer/player is itching to get on to the action parts is a bit different.

[Awildawn]

Since it's the beginning of your mod, I think it's ok to have long expository conversations (the noble origin in dao begins with a longer conversation).
This being said, if the player is attending the party , maybe it's better to let another more snobbish student do the lengthy description, or maybe your character can find about mr Renke in the corridors leading to the party.  It's also possible that the party begins with a lengthy introductionary speech by the council Elder on the topic of the origins of Mageday .
Keiran seems only interested in getting your player out of the bed to party so it's possible he will just say : "Mageday, the birthday of Magic, come on dress up already !" instead of complying with the PC. 

Just my two cents

Modifié par Awildawn, 04 décembre 2009 - 11:26 .

[CalmProto]

I once read some research that most folk only read up to seven words per billboard when driving by at highway speeds. I try to keep my converstions down to seven lines for each character of each conversation, and with seven words per line. But I'm silly that way.

[FalloutBoy]

Remember that at the start of your module you need to do something to hook the player and make them want to continue playing. If the first thing that happens in your game is a pile of exposition, not only will you risk the player losing interest, but since they have no frame of reference for anything a lot of your exposition will be easily forgotten.

A great example is if you ever watched the TV show Alias (other shows do it now too but this one stands out to me). The first 10 minutes of every episode was wrapping up the previous one, and they wouldn't roll the opening credits until after this resolution. Then they would end each episode on a cliffhanger to set up the next one.

The start of your story should be all about the hook and getting the player to the hook as quickly as possible. Any player who gets past the hook will be much more interested in listening to a long conversation. If you absolutely have to do something really long, maybe consider breaking it up with cutscenes in between.

EDIT: I don't necessarily think your conversation here is too long. I meant in general.

Modifié par FalloutBoy, 08 décembre 2009 - 06:33 .