153 réponses à ce sujet

[EricHVela]

How does an Asari turn on the light in the morning?

She opens the speeder door.

(I totally went there. Didn't I?)

[legion999]

Phobius9 wrote...

The Tulmorian spy entered the enemy's camp and said to the Vanksher: ''I didn't know your parnaps could glow''.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HA! Ha! ha haaa.........

Stupid human! You'll believe anything! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHhahahahhahahahHahhahahahahHhahahahahhahahshdhshdhkgs

[Navasha]

A Krogan, a human, and an Asari walk into a bar....

They ask the bartender, "Have any work for a group like us?"

The bartender looks them over closely. "Yeah... I think I could use all three of you, actually."

"I need a good strong bouncer, someone sexy to dance on the stage, and someone to clean the toilets."

With that he hands the plunger to Nasira, the stun gun to Robert, and the skin tight outfit to Urdnot Gronk.

Modifié par Navasha, 11 avril 2012 - 06:33 .

[Jamboa42]

UPDATED Shadow Broker Dossiers:
Subject Zero:
Extranet Search: Can Medi Gel remove Tattoos?

James Vega: Alliance N7 Unofficial Forum: Topic: Are all Captain's Beds Hard?

EDI: Extranet Search: Do Camels have Toes?

[EricHVela]

Shepard's first time on Eden Prime:

Shepard: "What are those?!"

Ashley: "Geth!"

Shepard: "I give up. What are they?"

[GeoFukari]

What's the difference between Vega and a Vorcha?


One is a brainless waste of space on the Normandy, and another is an alien.

THIS HURTS YOU.

[Jamboa42]

ReggarBlane wrote...

Shepard's first time on Eden Prime:

Shepard: "What are those?!"

Ashley: "Geth!"

Shepard: "I give up. What are they?"

ATHLEY WILLIAMTH!

[EricHVela]

Shepard stepped into the Crucible beam saying "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

[LoganofET]

A human walks into a bar and calls 599 friends to ask what drink he should get.

[Jagri]

A Human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar...
Human staggers back hurt, Krogan walks right through it, and the Asari has its children.

[EricHVela]

Quarian flatulence.

Need I say more?

[H. Birdman]

A Human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar......

... and the Asari says, "You know, I'm a member of the most advanced, intelligent species in the galaxy." And the human says, "That's great, but I pay you to pole dance, not to talk." And the Krogan just laughs and stands by the door with a shotgun, because that's his job.

[EricHVela]

How is the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey different from Liara's final gift to Shepard?

One of them makes some sense and the other ends in alimony.

[GeoFukari]

This is the Story of the Kinky Hanar Warriors.

A Turian, a Human and a Krogan get captured by an army of Hanar Warriors.

The Hanar Warriors tell the captured that they will be released if they come back with a kill.

The Turian comes back with a Varren. When the Hanar sees this, they then tell the Turian he must stick it up his Anus, and he must not react.

The Turian responds: I can't, there is a stick blocking the way.

The Hanar then kill him.

The Human, sly as a fox overheard what happened so he goes out to kill a mouse. The human returns with the mouse and the Hanar tell him to stick it up his anus, and not react.

The Human starts, but then laughs.

The Hanar then kill him.

In the Intergalactic Afterlife, the Turian asks the Human: So why did you laugh, you could have gotten away.

The Human Responds: I saw the Krogan coming back with a Thresher Maw.

Modifié par GeoFukari, 11 avril 2012 - 06:48 .

[johhnytrash]

Somewhere in that set up there is a joke about testicles and blue balls.

[maxloef]

AlexFili wrote...

So, five Quarians complete their pilgrimage and each get their own ship.

The first Quarian commanded the Cular.
The second Quarian commanded the Eline.
The third Quarian commanded the Hap Ning.
The fourth Quarian commanded the Queem.
The fifth Quarian commanded the Dap-Ro-Blem.

genious xD

[IElitePredatorI]

A Human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar......

Ouch.

[EricHVela]

The Reaper was killed by a Thresher Mom!

[EricHVela]

Tribunal: "For the killing of hundreds of thousands of people, the sentence is death!"
Shepard: "But they were all Batarian."
Tribunal: "Oh. Never mind, then."

[legion999]

A human, Krogan and an Asari walk into a bar....

Aethyta slaps their ass with a singularity.

[TekFanX]

Why are the Volus the most successful people in financial business?

They work best under pressure.

[EricHVela]

Here lies Mordin Solus.

Here lies Mordin Solus. Here lies Mordin Solus.




Here lies Mordin Solus.
Here lies Mordin Solus.





Here lies Mordin Solus.


And here, too.

[GeoFukari]

A Volus is invited to see the Consort. He then enters her quarters.

When he comes out , he faints. When he comes to, an asari asks him what went wrong. The Volus responds, The Consort took my breath away.

[EricHVela]

TekFanX wrote...

Why are the Volus the most successful people in financial business?

They work best under pressure.

Pure Gold!

[EricHVela]

A Human bumped into an Asari.
"Ah! Sorry!"
"Obviously."