Lopez23 wrote...
Tali: hey shepard i need help getting this into my emergency induction portBfler wrote...
I wait for a dirty induction port joke.
Shepard: Which one?
InsaneEric wrote...
A Human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar on Omega and order a drink from a Batarian bartender. This joke doesn't end well for the human...
Modifié par ReggarBlane, 11 avril 2012 - 07:26 .
BluKardinal wrote...
The tulumorian spy entered the enemy's camp and said to the vankshear: I didn't know your parnaps could glow.
ReggarBlane wrote...
EDIT: On second thought. I'd rather not get hate-mail from that joke.
GeoFukari wrote...
This is the Story of the Kinky Hanar Warriors.
A Turian, a Human and a Krogan get captured by an army of Hanar Warriors.
The Hanar Warriors tell the captured that they will be released if they come back with a kill.
The Turian comes back with a Varren. When the Hanar sees this, they then tell the Turian he must stick it up his Anus, and he must not react.
The Turian responds: I can't, there is a stick blocking the way.
The Hanar then kill him.
The Human, sly as a fox overheard what happened so he goes out to kill a mouse. The human returns with the mouse and the Hanar tell him to stick it up his anus, and not react.
The Human starts, but then laughs.
The Hanar then kill him.
In the Intergalactic Afterlife, the Turian asks the Human: So why did you laugh, you could have gotten away.
The Human Responds: I saw the Krogan coming back with a Thresher Maw.
:P:P:P:P
Modifié par Starchs, 11 avril 2012 - 07:29 .
Starchs wrote...
GeoFukari wrote...
This is the Story of the Kinky Hanar Warriors.
A Turian, a Human and a Krogan get captured by an army of Hanar Warriors.
The Hanar Warriors tell the captured that they will be released if they come back with a kill.
The Turian comes back with a Varren. When the Hanar sees this, they then tell the Turian he must stick it up his Anus, and he must not react.
The Turian responds: I can't, there is a stick blocking the way.
The Hanar then kill him.
The Human, sly as a fox overheard what happened so he goes out to kill a mouse. The human returns with the mouse and the Hanar tell him to stick it up his anus, and not react.
The Human starts, but then laughs.
The Hanar then kill him.
In the Intergalactic Afterlife, the Turian asks the Human: So why did you laugh, you could have gotten away.
The Human Responds: I saw the Krogan coming back with a Thresher Maw.
I love how you twist that cannidal joke into ME3 universe
AlexFili wrote...
So, five Quarians complete their pilgrimage and each get their own ship.
The first Quarian commanded the Cular.
The second Quarian commanded the Eline.
The third Quarian commanded the Hap Ning.
The fourth Quarian commanded the Queem.
The fifth Quarian commanded the Dap-Ro-Blem.
Bravo! Made me laugh out loud.GeoFukari wrote...
This is the Story of the Kinky Hanar Warriors.
(...)
pjotroos wrote...
Bravo! Made me laugh out loud.GeoFukari wrote...
This is the Story of the Kinky Hanar Warriors.
(...)
MustacheManatee wrote...
A Human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar...... After Shepards military funeral. Shepard had decided to take his substantial wealth to the grave with him and entrusted an envelope to each of the three with 100,000 credits inside. Instructions were to toss the envelopes into the casket as it was being lowered.
Back to the bar.....
Krogan: I have to admit, I took 20,000 credits from the envelope. Needed new Claymore. Not sorry.
Asari: Im so glad to hear you say that! I took 40,000 credits. Thessia will need to be rebuilt, and I plan to help anyway I can.
Human: I am shocked and appalled at you two! I will have you know that my personal check for the ENTIRE 100,000 credits was enclosed in that envelope!
Kosmiker wrote...
A Krogan, a Salarian, a Turian and a Quarian are onboard a Kodiak drop-shuttle for an important mission.
Meanwhile the shuttle has a malfunction and some weight must be thrown away to avoid the crash.
After they throw everything out the commander says to the 4 soldiers:
- Sorry! But someone will have to jump!
The Turian gets up, approaches the door and says:
- Don't forget Palaven!
And he jumps to his death.
The commander explains that there still is too much weight..
The Quarian readily stands up and yells:
- Keelah se'lai!!
And jumps.
Shortly after the commander says only one more needs to jump.
The Krogan stands up and yells:
- For the genophage!!
And throws the Salarian out.
Navasha wrote...
A Krogan, a human, and an Asari walk into a bar....
They ask the bartender, "Have any work for a group like us?"
The bartender looks them over closely. "Yeah... I think I could use all three of you, actually."
"I need a good strong bouncer, someone sexy to dance on the stage, and someone to clean the toilets."
With that he hands the plunger to Nasira, the stun gun to Robert, and the skin tight outfit to Urdnot Gronk.
Mesmurae wrote...
A human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar...
However, their only choice of drink tastes like ******. But it comes in three different colors.
Modifié par DarkRPG, 11 avril 2012 - 08:32 .
Kosmiker wrote...
A Krogan, a Salarian, a Turian and a Quarian are onboard a Kodiak drop-shuttle for an important mission.
Meanwhile the shuttle has a malfunction and some weight must be thrown away to avoid the crash.
After they throw everything out the commander says to the 4 soldiers:
- Sorry! But someone will have to jump!
The Turian gets up, approaches the door and says:
- Don't forget Palaven!
And he jumps to his death.
The commander explains that there still is too much weight..
The Quarian readily stands up and yells:
- Keelah se'lai!!
And jumps.
Shortly after the commander says only one more needs to jump.
The Krogan stands up and yells:
- For the genophage!!
And throws the Salarian out.
DarkRPG wrote...
Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2, and Mass Effect 3 were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks.
After a sip of his Martini, ME1 said, "You know, tomorrow is the anniversary of my release. I gave the fans beautiful worlds to explore with a mako and rich dialogue choices. I figured if they didn't like the mako, then at least they'd like the conversations, and they would know that I love them."
After finishing his scotch, ME2 said, "Well, in my game, I gave the fans an reaper to fight and a mission where your choices mattered. I figured if they didn't like the human reaper, then at least they would have enjoyed the final mission, and they would have known that I loved them."
ME3 then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my release, I got my old fans a ending of speculation and a vibrator. I figured if they didn't like the ending, then they could go f*** themselves."
Modifié par PistolPete7556, 11 avril 2012 - 08:41 .
PistolPete7556 wrote...
DarkRPG wrote...
Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2, and Mass Effect 3 were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks.
After a sip of his Martini, ME1 said, "You know, tomorrow is the anniversary of my release. I gave the fans beautiful worlds to explore with a mako and rich dialogue choices. I figured if they didn't like the mako, then at least they'd like the conversations, and they would know that I love them."
After finishing his scotch, ME2 said, "Well, in my game, I gave the fans an reaper to fight and a mission where your choices mattered. I figured if they didn't like the human reaper, then at least they would have enjoyed the final mission, and they would have known that I loved them."
ME3 then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my release, I got my old fans a ending of speculation and a vibrator. I figured if they didn't like the ending, then they could go f*** themselves."
There is much win right here lol
ReggarBlane wrote...
Unsurprisingly, Elcor tell the worst jokes.
Jagri wrote...
A Human, Krogan, and Asari walk into a bar...
Human staggers back hurt, Krogan walks right through it, and the Asari has its children.
Retour en haut