201 réponses à ce sujet

[Grimwick]

Very good read. With some work - maybe changing the order of scenes a little/changing or removing lines - this would actually be a very good idea.
I also like the way you captured some of the squad mate's characters. I can actually imagine them saying the things on the script and I like the way you actually acknowledged changes that would occur from having an LI/previous choices.

1 thing I would have done differently (and this is pure opinion) is when Shepard wakes up after being dragged along from the beam maybe Shepard might meet TIM? I personally think it would be better timing for him to be in the council chamber before you learn the truth of the reapers.

[B3ckett]

Excellent. Without truly altering the whole concept, you've made it plausible to say the least.

Kudos and +100 Internets for you, creative Sir

[CmdrSlander]

Thank you.

[Skull Bearer]

CmdrSlander wrote...

So, do you prefer the bickering AI's to Starbaby? I think it is a better portrayal, and actually makes Harbinger a villain. I left the Control/Synthesis/Destroy options largely intact, but I do give the option for the player to say, screw it, let's try and beat them conventionally, which is of course heavily reliant on EMS.

Much prefer the AIs, it makes sense, we know what they are. They're Reapers so they're still crazy, (Harbinger came across as the most sensible one there, and that's scary) and the chance for a decent throw-down fight just makes everything great. I really like your take on the control ending, make it more plausible while also remaining deeply creepy.

[CmdrSlander]

Agreed, the starbaby is presented as infallible while the AIs* are defined by their fallibility - they let Harby live, they underestimated him and committed genocide against their own kind (collateral damage) in the first cycle.

*I should mention that they weren't always AIs, they (Observer, Vengeance, and Apotheosis) were the organic leaders of the first cycle but releasing the power of dark energy made the galaxy inhospitable to them.

[CmdrSlander]

Btt

[jbadm04]

nice
sounds waaaaaaaaaaaaay better then what we got

[Doctor_Jackstraw]

how are you supposed to have a boss fight if you lose your armor and guns when harbinger shoots you?

thats kind of significant.

[CmdrSlander]

mid afternoon bump.

@Doctor_Jackstraw You will, for the first time, gain operation control of the Normandy and other ships for the boss battle.

[IronVanguard]

I must say, I really did like your version of Act 3. They presented the same options, yet in a much better manner.

And with a straight conventional battle possibility as well. Very fine work.

[CmdrSlander]

BTT

[RyanPun1991]

well written, looking forward to see how you close this out.

[zarnk567]

Very nice, OP. Much better than what we got.

[survivor_686]

I like it. The battle sequences reflect our choices and decisions. We find out whats going on with the rest of our squad and assets.

But...unfortunately you make the same mistake as Bioware did. You introduced new ideas and concepts in the ending sequence. Until then the Reaper managed to maintain a semblance of their Cthulesque horror. Unfortunately the scene with Vengeance, Observer and whatnot robs them of this mystique.

That being said, its far better than the starchild crap we got.

[Doctor_Jackstraw]

introducing an entirely new game mechanic for a last minute boss fight? what is this, the sonic franchise?? (any game that does that is just making bad decisions. also its a bad idea soz)

[CmdrSlander]

@Doctor_Jackstraw Well I haven't written it yet. So there's plenty of time to change it

[InHumanTurtle]

I really like this, while the AI thing still came out of nowhere, it was a far better and interesting method than starchild. And to be honest the surprise is fine with me, we weren't meant to know what was going to happen with the crucible anyway. And a few elements of foreshadowing (like side missions which delved into theories and history etc,) would have eased it for others and made it more interesting as a whole.

I really liked their characters, I was surprised to suddenly find respect for Harbinger as a warrior with his offer of a fair fight.

The only thing I would suggest is to involve the keepers a little more, I've always had a personal interest in them and was longing for them to do something big.

[Skull Bearer]

When can we see the next installment?

[FBI-Azzurri]

Very nice! Can't wait to see the rest!

[dragemuyt]

Well.. good read, but this is basically the same problem as with Starchild, it goes against everything the reapers have said/done/behaved like. Imagine Sovereign saying "no, YOU are wrong!" to Harbinger, which he responds to with juvenile bickering. They shouldn't have any emotion at all, which is what they've been portrayed with in the entire series - their logic is supposed to be ungraspable to organics, and this pretty much just turns the Reaper "government" into a high-tech retirement home with old men (big ones) in wheelchairs screaming at each other.

With that said, Earth was a good piece of writing, good work.

[CmdrSlander]

@dragemuyt

Harbinger/Sovereign etc. are Reapers, synthetics, cold and calculating a cruel. The three other AIs we encounter in the Council Chamber were organics who uploaded themselves to escape the destruction of their own civilization by dark energy weapons. Harbinger doesn't bicker, he is fully convinced of his own superiority, his arguments are used solely to make the other AIs doubt themselves. Only Shepard's survival causes Harbinger to rethink, not to mention that the arrival of the Crucible has put his very existence in jeapordy. He does not believe that he is really offering you a choice, he thinks you will be wiped out even by de-networked Reapers, if your EMS is high enough, you can prove him wrong.

[CmdrSlander]

To elaborate on the above, Harbinger's greatest weapon is psychological warfare. He convinced the leaders of the first cycle to upload, convincing them he had committed himself and his synthetic forces to peace, he then essentially captured them and made them watch as he slaughtered thousands of civilizations, there is never a point where Harbinger's character changes, he thinks he is playing you (Shepard) and believes fully in synthetic superiority, and this is his weakness, if you raised enough support, you can overwhelm his forces and achieve a victory that does not require the destruction of the Citadel/Relays.

Also, there's a reason there are three AIs and they are in the Citadel Council chamber... BioWare more or less makes the point via characters like Javik and the Prothean VIs that, to quote BSG "all of this has happened before, all of this will happen again."

Think about it for a second:

Apotheosis: Promotes peace, but has a hidden agenda, also the only AI with a feminine voice (remind you of any Citadel race?).

Observer: The scientifically minded and cold one, refers to Shepard as "it" as if you are some kind of unique biological curiosity.

Vengeance: Bellicose, with a penchant for holding a grudge down through the ages.

[Gammazero79]

WOW! Best and most fitting ending fanfic to date. It pains me to see such genius in these fan made endings when I see the ABC garbage thrust upon us.

[CmdrSlander]

btt

[CmdrSlander]

btt