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So Those Thanix Cannons...(The Official ME3 Sarcasm Thread!)


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#251
Guest_Droidsbane42_*

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Star Brat is the greatest science fiction character since Mr Spock, im so glad bioware decided to introduce him at the last minute without any explanation... so glad

#252
Guest_Trust_*

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So after years of waiting and spending hundreds of hours playing, everything comes down to:

- finding out that our decisions don’t matter,
- having to witness the worst train wreck of an ending in all of its glory, and
- getting a massive kick in the balls.

How do I feel about all of this?

Totally worth it.

Modifié par I1 Trust, 19 avril 2012 - 06:02 .


#253
Faded-Myth

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I submitted the photo of Tali to National Geographic to try and get it to qualify for their usual "Photo of the Month". Sadly, it was turned down as they felt the artistic integrity behind it was too strong and that it was unfair to all other photos. I submitted it then to DeviantArt, who then gave it a Daily Deviation. The description reads (and I quote): "MOAR LENS FLARE!"

Also, my favorite moment of the game was just as I was destroying Harbinger with my bare teeth and fighting off Banshees with my glistening buttocks, while simultaneously making love to Tali and building her a house on Rannoch with my nipples. The clincher was when Kanye West jumped out and yelled "Yo, Mass Effect 3! I'm really happy for you and I'm'a let you finish, but Mass Effect 2 had the greatest ending of all time! Of all time!"

#254
Eain

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Huge fan of the final act of the game, Thessia and on. It's like Bioware decided to take a look at Gears of War and decided to do the exact same! Just one mission after the other, with no choice at all. Amazing, right? I mean I love Gears, so necessarily I also love how ME3 finished the trilogy.

#255
jumpingkaede

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Sleepytime wrote...

jumpingkaede wrote...

I liked how all your emails were just bunched together and there was no way to sort or archive them or mark them as "read" emails (like in ME2).

Shows how all the emails are equally important.


The email organising system is very much a metaphor of how galactic peace can come about. When we diversify our people, disparate groups expand and contract competing for the same space, like our quest folders expand and contract, dominating others for a brief period before fading back. But when everything is the same (through synthesis), and there are no categories to group things together no one is frustrated anymore. No one wants to destroy anything.

Like, for example, the guy who made the journal and email system.:whistle:

And we will have peace.


Mind = Blown.

Bioware = writing gods.

#256
Riknas

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I really liked how they went the extra mile to show all of our decisions in the final battle, y'know, how they put in that extra cutscene of fighting geth and rachni? And they actually put Balak on a dreadnought to help me out? Awesome!

#257
Unholyknight800

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Or the way Koris came in with the Iktomi to save Gerrel and the Neema?

#258
EricHVela

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I loved how Mass Effect 3 didn't punish us for world-shattering decisions in the previous games but punished us for some minor ones.

#259
Zolt51

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Reptilian Rob wrote...

Wow man, they totally ripped the Reapers a new one in the final space battle scene. All key ships were retrofitted with them after ME1 and the codex states the cannon can punch through any known barrier.

Amazing ending, I'm really glad I played ME3! Everything made a lot of sense! 

<_<


Hmm, it's really too bad we spent all that time building that crucible thing instead of retrofitting ships.

Also.. reapers don't count as "known"

#260
Gexora

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Someone link mass effect twitter to this thread, so they could read about everything we LOVED in their AMAZING game instead of asking us same questions over and over
and screenshot the reaction plz

#261
HinduCowGirl

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I was so amazed of ME3's ability to nail me to the wall for all my choices in ME1 and ME2. Everything was put down to that. And I got the ending accordingly to my choices. It was epic!

ME3 answered all my questions from ME1 and ME2 and it even made me see how everything turned out after the epic Battle for Earth.

Can't wait for those post battle DLC's going to purchase every single one of them TWICE, since the game was so epic awesome and fulfilling.

#262
RusselShep

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Personally, my favorite part was when Liara started talking about the "Prothean device of unmeasurable power." I knew we were in for a real kicker of a plot line then!

#263
tute

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God I really hated Vega! How could I like a guy that loves dinosaurs. And the stunt at rannoch, so not funny. His knowledge of tech surpasses even Tali's.

#264
Reptilian Rob

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RusselShep wrote...

Personally, my favorite part was when Liara started talking about the "Prothean device of unmeasurable power." I knew we were in for a real kicker of a plot line then!

I know! I loved it!

I knew it would end well. 

#265
Kilethion

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Hearing Garrus yell "THIS IS FOR PAVALAN YOU REAPER BASTARDS!!" before taking down a Capital Reaper made my year! I'm glad Bioware put Garrus in charge of the main Turian assault/strike team. I realize it's not as deep and intellectual as the ending we got, but it sure would be nice....

#266
richard_rider

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Absolutely loved the kid...wooo...wispy...wooo ghostly and ethereal wooo...and its logic, impeccable.

#267
Zix13

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pacer90 wrote...

In London I was thinking "Man, I wish there was some more circular logic and railroaded choices in this level."


Good thing you didn't see any more of that with ending!

#268
Zix13

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I1 Trust wrote...

So after years of waiting and spending hundreds of hours playing, everything comes down to:

- finding out that our decisions don’t matter,
- having to witness the worst train wreck of an ending in all of its glory, and
- getting a massive kick in the balls.

How do I feel about all of this?

Totally worth it.


Feels good man. 

#269
VarrenSoldier

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Feels friggin great!

#270
The Lightspeaker

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I simultaneously love and hate this thread.

Love it because its absolutely hillarious, but hate it because it makes me cry to think of how much of this would be good if it was actually in there...

#271
Zix13

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chemiclord wrote...

ITT: so many bitter, angry tears.

Cry some more. I hear if a million tears are shed, Bioware might change the ending.


I hear that if enough trolls post on the same thread, one of their lives might gain meaning. 

#272
IUDEX99

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I love sarcasm even if is quite difficult to express sarcasm in a foreign language.

{enable sarc-mode}
I loved a lot of the fighting scenes in the game. You have always that much space to develop tactics.
Yesterday evening I encountered the Cerberus Base, went up a ladder and suddenly got swarmed by enemies when my squafmates had suddenly problems with their balance and due to this fact they had problems climbing a ladder. Must have been a problems with dextro-nourishment, because it were Garrus and Tali.
Well, no problem, I had enough space for every maneuvre I wanted. Not that enemies wre flanking, swarming me and three of those laser-guided Rachni-smacktards were shooting continously at me.

Btw, fighting and tactics.
It's fine that controlling Commander Sheppard never is a problem. he alwas does what he is supposed to do. He is running, when he has to instead of suddenly leaning backwards on a wall. And due to the fact that gredanes on the highest difficulty-level can kill you instantly I appreciate the fact that the controlling mechanism is very well worked out and totally unfailing.

Have I alreday mentioned Banshees when I am talking about fighting?
Hard enemies, indeed. But luckily they alwways do what they should do, like my beloved Sheppard does. It's not they port through abstacles.
Because that would be not fair. it would be just as unfair as if other enemies could aim and shoot through their cover at you. I mean, it would be hard if for example a Nemesis would be crouching behind a cover and it's laserbeam would aim you through the cover followd by a shot that strips your shields.
Luckily things like those never happen what might be a reason that the game has 75 (or even more?) perfect scores.

Scores, good point.
Some peolpe were complaining that those who gave the scores to ME3 did not play the game until the end.
But hey, the ending is the best of the comlete game and fulfills all promises that were made befor the release.
We expected a unique experience we never had before.
Hey, even if you are one of the very few, entitled, stupid 12-year-old-kiddy-gamers and did not like the ending, you cannot deny that you exactly got that.

The ending was unique to the whole ME-series.
It was unexpectes and surprising.
And of course your previous actions and decisions did matter. I mean, if Tali was you LI and you took for example Ashley to you final mission, there was a very high chance that both of them were going ashore after the normandy crashed. And when your dialogue-decisions were made carefully you could convince/wheedle Mr. Badass with his synthetic-eyes to go suicide.
We were promised that our decisions would matter and they really did, so why complaining aboput the end?
BW noticed that we all loved the ending of ME3 and so they decided to expand the ending and give us more of the stuff we all were cheering about. There will be an extended cut of the beloved ending we all considered being the best part of all three ME-games. That's amazing.
{disable sarc-mode}

Modifié par IUDEX99, 22 avril 2012 - 03:17 .


#273
palanora

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anybody found the rubber bands for the tannix cannons yet? Still looking for them...
Oh i thought that was the aim of the game

#274
Sm00thCr1m1n4l

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I just LOVED the ending artistic references to the Matrix, deus Ex, I Robot; it was almost as if the story line was too good to come up with something original!

:D

#275
marshkoala

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Great Thread RR! I missed it earlier......lol

I loved how Jack held off hundreds with her barrier and
Wrex made hugh holes for me to run through all the while complaining that I was having all the fun!
Garrus laughing as he shot enemy after enemy....shouting "This is my favorite spot on Earth"
Miranda kicking a** while Alliance soldiers drool......
Kaidan kicking a** while Alliance soldiers drool......