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[drayfish]

'CRUCIBLE PROJECT' PROGRESS REPORT #75 (2186 CE)

FOREMAN: Terence Props (Professional Builder, Contractor, Electrical, Expert in Weird Imaginary Alien Tech What Glows and Stuff)
 

Yeah, look, this is Terry, Lead Project Builder out here on the Crucible. Look, I don't want to tell you Alliance fellas how to do your job, but me and the lads, we've got some concerns, and the regular chain of command these days seems about as useful as an Elcor ballet school. (...Yeah, sorry about that. Sully warned me that joke wouldn't work.)
 
The things is, you hired me not just to be some company yes man: my crew do good work (you saw the Capital building we knocked up before those big cuttlefish came and lasered it all to ash), and you know we don't stuff about doing half-assed work. We do things efficiently, and we do things right. That's why you hired us. (And not to talk out of school, but I saw the half baked job your Alliance crew did on that Normandy ship: half the consoles weren't installed but the fish tank in the Captain's room was a priority?  Sometimes you have to wonder who these senior officers are sleeping with.)
 
I know this Crucible doohickie is a big deal. Enough of your Alliance big-wigs come around each day to strut (seriously, does that Hackett guy not have a real job or something?), so we get the picture: it's important. So then why is it that every time we put in for overtime, every time we ask for more funding, every time we make a suggestion about the way things are getting done, we get ignored? I've sent plenty of memos like this, and seen no reply at all. 
 
And I'm telling you: we have some major issues up here. This place is a mess. And unless something's done about it, I reckon there's gonna be a big stink when someone actually flips this nonsense on and tries to make the idiot thing work:
 

First up: floor space. Now, I don't know who drew up your designs (sometimes I think you found them in a whole in the ground), but you should see the wasted floor space we have going on up here on the top level. Sure, there's the big laser water-fountain in the middle, but aside from that, and the one elevator (that no one seems to be able to get working) there's just two big long pathways that lead to nowhere and a boring old view out into space.  It's big, it's gaudy, and it's almost impossible to heat. Seriously: the central air up here is ridiculous.
 
My wife, Sal, she's an interior designer, real professional (she's even worked with some of the Quarian fleets), and she will tell you, straight up: it's about using the surface area intelligently. Mirrors. Feng shui. You don't need to design the thing to fit into a football field. I get the whole lets-make-it-majestic-so-that-the-whole-span-of-creation-can-impress-itself-upon-the-viewer-compelling-them-to-consider-their-place-in-the-universe-thing, but it's a little on the nose, don't you think? And couldn't we be using that space a bit more effectively? Maybe have a gym or something? A day care? Three walkways on multiple levels that all lead to fixed points? That's ergonomically irresponsible is what it is. 
 
Secondly (and maybe I should of started out with this, come to think of it): Health and Safety. Put simply: we need to get some – because this place is a bloody death trap.
 
I don't know how you lot usually built your freighters and your what-nots, but my teams like to do things safely, and a lot of what I've been seeing going on up here would make your hair stand up.
 
First things: I've been sending requisition orders about missing parts and unfinished flooring for weeks now, and I'm just not seeing any action. Over on the blue side of the room (don't even get me started on the ugly colour scheme) I've been requesting a panel for one console for weeks now. I hope you realise that's fully exposed electrical wiring there. That's actual arcing electricity shooting about all over the place – and no one is doing anything about it. I can't even get someone to bring us safety cones to wall it off. A bit of tape. A sign. 
 
I mean, what if someone plunges their hands into there for some reason? What if some maniac stumbles along and grabs hold of the handles?  (And why did they want handles? Who thought that was a good idea?)  If someone did that, for whatever reason, you'd have a bloody lawsuit on your hands, quick smart. In fact, two of my lads have already gotten a little close and got singed by it. As we hosed them down and they were still convulsing they were talking all sorts of nonsense about ascending to the status of a god, leading an unstoppable armada of galactic monsters. And that's not fun! That's no good! Two fellas who now think they are the overlords of a horde of weaponised abominations?  All that paperwork I have to fill out? Heck no.
 
And that's before I've even gotten to the Red side – which is just as bad. Did you know that's a main gas line? That's superheated fuel pumping through that console.  I don't know which genius thought that was a good idea, but there's almost no insulation, and I'm pretty sure I smell a leak. If one of my guys decides to take a sneaky smoke break over there one time, the second they strike a match this whole damned place will go up. Your whole Crucible, all that eezo you keep shipping up here (still no one can tell me what that stuff is for), your whole protective armada, the lot of it: up in a puff of some very radioactive smoke. I wouldn't be surprised if it nuked the whole Relay system. It seems twitchy enough. 
 
Oh, and by the way: you can stop sending all the EMSs. We've got enough damned Electro-Magnetic Seismographs to last us until the next Reaper cycle. I'm not sure whose bright idea it was to keep heading out into the galaxy to hunt for EMSs, but we don't need them, and it's just wasting time. You know what we could use? A freaking army. How about you go drum one of those up.
 
Also, there's this weird hologram that keeps floating about trying to get our boys to hurl themselves into the big green fountain of light. He wants them to remake the universe in one gloriously self-immolating eugenic purgation, he says. I think it's one of those joke A.I.s you buy on the Citadel (the Macauley Culkin one if I'm not mistaken), but the damned thing is running rampant in our filing, and it's really starting to creep out the lads. Gets all tetchy if you shoot it in the head too.
 
So if someone out there in the Alliance brass can pull their head out of their collective asses and maybe send us a little help, I would really appreciate it. So far the only one up here who talks any sense is that Kasumi woman – although I'm pretty sure she's nicking all of my pens.
 
Signed,
 
Terry Props
 
p.s. – And by the way – the Racchni may not be our enemies anymore, but can you at least have a talk to them about conduct in the workplace. I'm not sure what 'sexual harassment' means to a space bug, but they're all hands. ...Well, feelers.

Modifié par drayfish, 14 septembre 2012 - 12:19 .

[M0keys]

re: 'CRUCIBLE PROJECT' PROGRESS REPORT #75 (2186 CE)

to: terryprops772@probuilders.cit.uni.co

cc: the.brolusive.man@cerbtacular.com

VICE PRESIDENT of CRUCIBLE CO HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT: Hal Von Billain


Dear Foreman Terry Props,

Thank you for your concern. As VP of Crucible Co's Human Resources department, I take every effort in making sure our premises are as modern and cost-effective as possible within the fiscal year, as well as personally maintaining the Sludge Tubes for Project 73, which is a very demanding job both physically and psychologically.

Pertaining to the issues contained within your letter in regards to your current job status, you were hired to build the Crucible efficiently, and your efforts are being well-rewarded, as you know, by pamphlets discussing the function of the Crucible and its origins. We know they are being dealt in a rather piecemeal fashion, with a single sticky note paragraph per quarter, but such is the nature of the overtime clause in your contract. It is not the responsibility of Crucible Co that you did not bring a neutron microscope.

As for the Normandy, we were very satisfied with the work on that project, as there wasn't much time to draft a blueprint for it while we were so busy finding a year's worth of evidence for (the now ex-)Cmdr. Shepard's trial. Unfortunately, as you know, Terry, the trial was cut short by the Reaper invasion of the planet Earth. We regret that both incidences coincided, of course, but as discussed in the most recent company newsletter, Shepard is to be considered a class-4 Strange Attractor, so such coincidences are a part of the process. As for other suggestions, I resent your implication that I slept with Lt. Beck and Cmdr. Davison in order to get that beautiful fishbowl installed in (the now ex-)Cmdr. Shepard's quarters, and I suggest you make no further libels in the future, or your bonus of Free Pamphlets may have to be rationed to once a year.

Also, Admiral Hackett assures me that his constant appearances on the Crucible have everything to do with his new exercise routine. I will be sure to grant him access codes to the Project 73 warehouse, which I have promised him is very large indeed and quite suitable for his weekly bulkups and slimdowns.

And I have not been ignoring your letters. They have been going straight to Missile Factory R, where I have been answering them quite passionately from within the comfort of Smelter 42C. I do not know why you have not received my replies, but I promise to send this particular message out via computer.

Now, to the real heart of the matter: The issues, so-called, of the Crucible's design.

Flip on the Crucible? Never in any of our meetings has "flipping it" been discussed, and I do not know how one would "flip" the Crucible in space considering there is nothing to flip it onto but more space. Please think these things through.

As for floor space, yes, we know, it is very grandiose, but I blame the Protheans. From what I've heard, there is a single surviving Prothean in the Galaxy, and he's spent all the time bragging about how his ancestors designed the layout. I'd like to give him a piece of my mind, I'll tell you that much! And if you're having problems with central air, just turn off the shields for a few moments. That should spread it around a bit.

Oh, yes, I've heard about your wife. Isn't she the one who designed the Disco Toilet Seat? I know the critics have raved about that; she is quite talented. But really, jokes aside, what would you do with a gym on a Crucible? It's supposed to be mysterious and monolithic. If you want a feng-shui center full of touchy-feely, go-getting, can-do, team-friendly vibes, I suggest taking a vacation to Horizon and visiting Sanctuary. I've never been, but I hear it's a hoot. Especially for children. Do you have any children? If not, have some children, and then immediately visit Sanctuary.

Now, Health and Safety. A death trap? Excuse me? Have you ever been to the Crucible? I assure you, as VP of Crucible Co Human Resouces, it is a touchstone of safety laws. You really shouldn't judge a masterpiece until you've seen it first hand. Now, since you are the average joe who has nothing to do with Crucible Co besides being someone who sends me mail, you've never seen the Crucible, and quite f rankly I feel you are doing it a disservice. Of course, without proper access, you'll never see it first hand, but I hear there are concept drawings of it at Sanctuary. On Horizon.

And In case you were wondering, the handles, again, like the rest of the crucibles design, are Prothean. I had a bit of a hand with the blue lighting, of course, because I love blue and blue is for people who aren't blue at all, and only look up at the blue sky and think of happy blue things and not sa dblue things. No, it's very good blue lighting. And very good handles, because now they are blue. And you should stop making up nOnsense about people thinking they are demIgods after touching the handls .Such claims make you look ins ane,, and I assure you that would not look good on your rresume. and don't you dare touch those exposed wires. you Might get hurt and as vP of human resources wec are about our employeesvery much.

yes of course I know the red thing its MAIN GAS LINE, what do you thinkk i am?? it's a very good idea because off ventilation prlblrms in Sector two-Twelv of the Crucible Supposittory Junction. don't touch it

an dwhatst his about elegnic-mactro seimsothings? who gave you permission to get those? i'll have his LICENS REVOKED FORTHWYTH. you won't have enough to last you until the next reaper cycle i promos you that. and gimp e break: next reaper cycle? there won't BE a next reaper cycle. What a ssily idea. everything's under control.

and terrie, if you don't mind me saying it, you think WAY too much. especially about things that don't matter at all.like this hologram of yours. it is pet of hackett's. he got it because he LIEKS BOYS> no not in that way you perv lol YOU CAN NOT COMPREHEND THE NATURE OF THE CATALYST.

i'm sorry… i felt big and mean for a second. i wish my backspace button workedd so i could erase that,. oh well.

so just relax, do your job, and everything will be fine. we'll send you some more pens. as vp of the human sludgification machines, i swear to you that your consciousness will soon no longer be a problem, and this Kasumi woman will be a distant memory. did I say memory? I mean, collective. oh dear. I mean, memory.

Signed,

VP Ominous Doomspeaker Bon Villain.


and shutup about the rachni that's getting really annoying ok

[drayfish]

'CRUCIBLE PROJECT' PROGRESS REPORT #76 (2186 CE)

TO: VICE PRESIDENT of CRUCIBLE CO HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT: Hal Von Billain

CC: iamnottheshadowbroker@shadowbroker.com
 
FROM: FOREMAN: Terence Props (Professional Builder, Contractor, Electrical, Volunteer Fireman, Basket Weaving Enthusiast)
 

See, this is just the sort of response Sully warned me I'd get from you bureaucratic Mucky Mucks out there! With your legalese and your penny-pinching and your blame shifting! 
 
Have I been out to see the project? I'll tell you what, Hal Von Billain, I've been out here since day dot. I was the first one to put up the original girder! I lost a toe when that lazy Volus crew you sent us were clowning about on the gravlifts. I'm the one who every day has to scare off those damned Keeper things with the garden hose before we get stuck in to work (also, can we get some diapers on them or something?)  So don't you tell me which way is up in the cold, relentless vacuum of a pitiless universe we shall all hail the oncoming storm...
 
Sorry. I mean: up. Don't tell me which way is up.
 
So I dare you come out here! I dare you and all your buddies in financing and human resources to get out from behind your desk (where you all live) and get your hands dirty. I dare you to come out here to the site, slip on some overalls, strap on a breather ...and some gravboots (you'll need those)...and a spinal harness (we've still not compensated for the screwy physics) ... and maybe get inoculated (no one talks about it, but the Racchni do have some nasty parasites), and then you tell me that we're not working our darndest to get this thing up and running. 
 
(...Also, you'll need to replace the majority of your organs with plastic counterparts – turns out that much eezo that close together is like standing inside a microwave. Who knew?)
 
And if you have the gumption to do that, you'll see right away that this is the most efficient, hard-working crew in the universe. Certainly better than that clean-up squad you assigned to the Citadel after the Cerberus attack. From what I've heard they've just been sweeping up the same broken glass for months now. Apparently there's even a fire in the Presidium Garden that no one's bothered to put out. Weeks, just blazing away. Families sitting in the cafe just breathing in the noxious fumes... But no: those guys get raises, bonuses, off-hour recreation time at Purgatory, functioning 401ks. 
 
What do we get? We get our lungs eradiated with piles of glowing biotic slag (much appreciated), and last weekend I spent four hours chasing a Pyjak out of a circuit grid. ...And I can't be sure, but I'm pretty sure that whatever that space monkey got a hold of in there might have accidentally changed our course direction. I've looked at the navi and we seem to be heading to Earth now.
 
At least when the timeless machine overlords return to free us from the terrible burden of life we will exalt their glorious... 
 
Geez. My head.
 
Wait, what did I just type? ...Something about machines? Oh, yeah: Like I said before: enough already with the EMSs! We're up around 7000 now. It's ridiculous. We do not have the storage space! And they're just not doing anything! They just sit there. I swear, it makes no impact at all.
 
Oh, and the hologram says hello. We've been talking. Turns out he's actually an okay guy. Got some funny ideas about politics – little racist maybe, but generally okay. Just – seriously, don't get him started on synthetics. He looks like a kid, but he's got some very old-fashioned ideas. 
 
...Although he does seem to want me to put more explosives in the flooring for some reason. I remember thinking that was a bad idea, but the more he talks to me the more it seems to make sense. And I'm not sure why, but when I think about it too long things get a little hazy.
 
Phew. My head is buzzing.
 
And just to let you know, I am going to install that trapdoor in the lower console section. I know it's not on the plans, but there's lovely guy here with glowing eyes (gives off a bit of a President-from-The-West-Wing vibe) who thinks that would be a great idea. And after he injected that thing into my brain (you knew about that, right? He said he cleared it with you?) it suddenly seems like a fantastic idea.
 
Signed,
 
Terence PrEPARETOBOWBEFORETHEHARBINGERSOFOURPERFECTION!
 
I mean: Props. Terence Props.
 
p.s. – Also, what the hell is a Tribble? Suddenly they're everywhere!

Modifié par drayfish, 14 septembre 2012 - 02:49 .

[Made Nightwing]

'CRUCIBLE MATERIAL ACQUISITION REPORT' #1.

TO: FOREMAN: Terence Props (Professional Builder, Contractor, Electrical, Volunteer Fireman, Basket Weaving Enthusiast)

cc:lgndryspektor@normandysr2.com, leetgunchief@normandysr2.com

FROM: Urdnot Mork. Fireteam Leader, Campion Squad.

Ugh, look, I hate using this thing, but I gotta get onto you about some of these missions you're sending us on.

First off, who are these idiots you keep sticking on my team? Elite N7 operatives? One of them uses a sword, A SWORD! Anotehr one has an omni-shield. What is this? The Crusades? I have some of the most elite snipers in the galaxy on my team, and they can't hit a thing because these guys keep letting off biotic shockwaves and electric shock chains. Seriously, this is the 22nd century. If you want to help, send us better guns, not swords.

Also, some of these materials can't possibly be helpful in constructing a big, Reaper destroying thingamejig. Two hundred micro-indoctrination boosters? Do you realise how many men I've lost to these things? Private Smith just keeps wandering about the place going 'Ohhh, Oedipus....' Freaks me the hell out.

And about the giant glass tube and enormous electricity conductors you were after, are you quite sure we needed to delve deep into the depths of Tuchanka to retrieve them from that Reaper corpse? I lost twelve men, including Private Boschiero, Private Daintree and Corporal Amitavo, to Thresher Maw attacks. And why did you specifically request that we stress test the tube for weapons fire? I already told you, the only way to shatter it would be to blow it up with high explosives from a distance, or shoot it multiple times at point blank range with a hand cannon. But who would be idiotic enough to do that?

Also, are you sure that this genophage cure you gave us is working? Because I've been...uh...trying pretty hard, and still no luck.

Signed,

Urdnot Mork.

p.s. Could you please get rid of the quarians? These guys have the weakest immune system in the galaxy, why are they serving alongside us? A single bullet and we have to retreat while they patch themselves up.

[Lionfranky]

This is the main reason I am not satisfied even with EC. Sure. It got much brighter, but what the hell was point of all the sacrifice if Starbrat, Reaper leader gives us the solution? Why not just stop onslaught and give us solution from start? To test organics to see if they are worthy of choices? Hell. I don't think Starbrat mentions that anywhere.

[hpjay]

Oxspit wrote...

But that's not quite how it happens, is it? The SC gives you his synthetics vs organics spiel and how the whole thing is a solution to that. Do you then get the option to say:

"Kiddo, that has seriously got to be the biggest pile of stupid I have ever heard. I want to talk to your father. He's not here? O.K. someone patch me through to EDI and, hell, why not some of the people who built this thing or something (they must have some freaking idea what the hell  they've built), let's see if we can't work out what's really going on here."

I can hear Jennifer Hale speaking those lines now.   That is my Shepard!  not the pansy the stuck me with after they introduced the SC.  If I could, I'd give you a Vindaloo and a Lager right now!  I'm going to have my kids renamed after you...  Jim will be renamed Ox, and Bexley will be renamed Spit.

Thank You!  

Modifié par hpjay, 23 septembre 2012 - 10:36 .

[drayfish]

Sorry, this is a shamelessly late acknowledgement, but I was dipping back in the thread and was really struck by this image:

bc525 wrote...
 
Before, the Catalyst just seemed like a tool of the Reapers in their methodology, much like the Citadel's Keepers. In my original experience I just figured that the Catalyst AI had somehow worked itself free of Reaper control and that enabled it to present the three options to Shepard which could make it possible to defeat them. This little AI was exposing a backdoor that allowed access to the vulnerabilities of the Reapers, and that explained the presence of the Destroy option. In that original ending, the Reapers were caught in a Catch-22. The Catalyst held some vital function, but they had lost control of it. They couldn't simply destroy the Citadel (and the Catalyst) without destroying themselves. They were helpless at that point to whatever Shepard decided.

I really rather like that image of the Cantaloupe (certainly more than what was presented in game). I'd still hate the options he provided, but they would be far, far more palatable. 'I'm a victim in all of this too; this is all that I can do to help, I wish I could do more...' would be so much more appealing than:
 
'Welcome to the Reapers! Your paperwork is over on the counter, and Dale in security will set you up with your keys. First things first though: for your initiation ceremony are you going to kill a bunch of dudes, hypno-mindwipe some of our lot, or do the whole cyber-human smoosh thing? No one's done that one yet, so we're heaps excited!'
 

Modifié par drayfish, 28 septembre 2012 - 11:34 .

[bc525]

Oh man, this is/was such a great discussion. I'm returning here to type out that I've just downloaded Leviathan and I'm looking forward to one last playthrough of ME3. You know, just because.

The extended cut has long since been deleted from my Xbox hard drive so I'm going back to the original game. For what it's worth, I was one of the few that enjoyed the game's original ending.

Dray and all commentors here, the next round of beers is on me. Great discussions here from day one. You folks are alright.

[drayfish]

@ bc525:

Fantastic to hear from you - you have been missed.

Glad to hear that you are still about, and are looking forward to another run through.

From what I've heard (and admittedly that is not much, since I've not played it myself), 'Leviathan' is meant to be a good deal of fun for those like yourself who liked the ending, even filling in some of the gaps that were only hinted at but never explained in the original. So here's hoping that you have a great time.

And if you are keen to share your thoughts after playing through I would be delighted to hear how it all shook out.

As always, all the best. That beer still sounds mighty fine.

Modifié par drayfish, 29 décembre 2012 - 12:11 .

[Yate]

stopped reading when he said Saren tried to control the reapers >.<

[Necrotron]

bc525 wrote...

The extended cut has long since been deleted from my Xbox hard drive so I'm going back to the original game. For what it's worth, I was one of the few that enjoyed the game's original ending.

Nothing wrong with that.  I think, in contrast to the extended cut, I prefered the original ending too, because it let the player fill in the blanks on what happened instead.

And yeah, if you liked the ending, Leviathan is a pretty nifty DLC.  Well crafted, with some nice easter eggs.

I think I'm sticking with Fob's Ending mod for myself.  Not perfect, but I'll take it.

Modifié par Bathaius, 29 décembre 2012 - 02:28 .

[NOD-INFORMER37]

Great post

[bc525]

Okay drayfish for what it's worth, here are some shiny thoughts on Leviathan ...

Since their introduction the Reapers have always been interesting to me, and in terms of gaming villains they're right up there near the top of my favorites list. That's really the main reason why I chose to download the Leviathan DLC and pursue one last ME3 playthrough. If it involved the Reapers, then hey, I figured it was going to be a good time. Truth be told, I've halted that last playthrough because BioWare are now teasing one last SP DLC, and their marketing ploy is working on me. So while I'm holding off finishing this last hurrah, I'm into this playthough enough to share my half-baked impressions of the Leviathan DLC.

Things start off normally in Leviathan as Shepard witnesses a murder and is unable to do anything to stop it. Of course the dude that just got murdered within arm's length knew crucial information, and now we must embark upon a journey to understand why this character we've known for 38 seconds was murdered. After all, the fate of the universe hangs in the balance.

Well, maybe not quite yet. But there are War Assets available so let's get down to business.

Overall, the Leviathan DLC has some very cool environments to explore, once Shepard gets to actually begin exploring beyond this newly discovered Citadel lab. My favorite environment is probably the corporate mining facility where the employees just wander around mindlessly pushing buttons and watching monitors and repeating "You shouldn't be here". That place has an ominous, creepy vibe to it that's fun from the very first moment, and you just know things are very wrong here but you keep getting pulled in deeper and deeper, waiting for the hammer to fall.

Ultimately the big reveal for the Leviathan DLC is nice but not particularly revolutionary. It's nice to understand why the Reapers look the way they do and that the very first "harvest" was performed upon these Leviathans. While attempting to answer some questions, the DLC did create a few more, such as ... "How did the Leviathans survive that first harvest? .... How did the Leviathans achieve interstellar travel? .... Are there any other surviving Leviathans scattered throughout the universe?" Anyways, these mysterious sea creatures turn out to be the creators of our good buddy the Catalyst, or more formally known as "The Intelligence" in the Leviathan vernacular.

As powerful as the Reapers are, the Catalyst proves to be equally as annoying.

Man, the Catalyst just ruins it. Just ruins it. I was hoping for more story about the Reapers, and I honestly went into the Leviathan DLC thinking this was the perfect DLC for me.  I enjoyed the original ending of ME3 on my first playthrough and for all of its warts, Mass Effect 3 stares you down right in the face and dares you to make a move. Sorry if you don't like the consequences, but hey, you signed up for this. And I acknowledge that I signed up for this.

Modifié par bc525, 06 février 2013 - 06:28 .