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[svocke2]

Tankcommander wrote...

svocke2 wrote...

The Crackhead
He's the Batarian Soldier with only a short range Shotgun, an Adrenaline Module and a case of Red Bull. He sprints off at the beginning of Wave 1 only to occasionally be seen whirling past you unleashing a cloud of Ballistic Blades and stealing your hard earn mob wipe as he sprints off again. He has already forgotten that there ever was a cover system and Falcon punches anything in sight. Atlas, Banshees, Ravagers half dead Centurians stuck full of soon to be exploding blades, anything. with each successful Melee he yells "BOOM" just in case you didnt see him take out yet another Husk. He has no regard for biotic combos or anything involving a trigger; but as he constantly reminds you with the kill feed, he has Ballistic blades. You realize afterwards that you have just been grossly outscored by the guy that hasn't yet realized he isn't playing Mario Cart.

I didn't see that until after I posted, but this is so much freakin fun.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been that guy before. Minus a ladder, Benning is essentially a racetrack. It gets interesting when you have a pack of 3 Crackheads running together and a Sniper. Its a moving cloud of exploding spikes and a confused infiltrator losing his mind every time he tries to line up a headshot.

Modifié par svocke2, 04 mai 2012 - 05:56 .

[Zall]

Funniest read this week for me. Thanks^^

[joker_jack]

The Wizard

Everything seems faily normal in wave 1 as you think nothing of it when 1 of the players takes out 75% of the kills. As time goes you begin to see some mystical things happen, and ask yourself, How did he take those 2 banshees using nothing but a shuriken I in 3 hits or How did that guy just one shot an atlus with a katana III? Your pretty sure his lv 5 Asari Adept shouldn't be setting off biotic explosions with the force of a neutron bomb. Some how thier single mantis II bulet has tripple shotted a band of marauders with full sheilds. At the end of the match you look at the person's loudout and think "Either that boy is a David Copperfield or that person is damn cheater."  After words they just vanish like the nightmare that was.

[Yervan]

trooper kinda suits me well...

[NoctemEx]

I like to think I'm a little bit Trooper, a little bit Healer. I would talk more but the PC voice chat doesn't seem to like me >.>

[BobFettle]

Slappy wrote...You forgot the infamous infiltrator that lives his whole life in the scope and when his team is in need of revivals, he is too busy shooting. And then he goes to fail cus he runs out of bullets and gets cornered and eventually killed

Last night I bled out right next to an infiltrator behind the same bit of cover as me without anything even close to us. But then again, in that game I was the only one even trying to revive squad mates.  I did all 8 rezzes, bleeding out twice in safe spots with a squadmember nearly on top of me.  Round 7 I was the last guy to go down, decided I'm not going to waste any more consumables on that squad and game. <_<

[BobFettle]

RagingElvis wrote...
The Sailor
A mic only variety of the *F---* teammate, chances are you'll "DAMMIT! THAT ----" immediately pick her out from her constant "WHAT THE H----"string of colorful language.  Whether it is that "MOTHER F----" banshee, Sneaky *SON OF A B----" assault trooper, "STUPID ---" geth, or *PIECE OF S---" teammate in her scope she does not hesitate to *YEAH RIGHT UP YOUR ----" provide an ongoing commentary through the whole "G--- D----" match.  

Good 1!  Except I think it should be  "Provide an ongoing commentary through the whole "F----- G--- D----" match ;-) 

[BobFettle]

ShadowWeaver2012 wrote...
The Mother - They will cross the map, go through 20 mobs of pure hellfire, just to revive you.

Mother

(My contribution, with acknowledgement to all the great previous posts of which some quotes are included.  I hope no one minds.)  

Mother frequently plays Asari Justicar.  Any time more than 2 squad members are together she would immediately spread her biotic sphere over them.  While rushing in to get a data packet she will always arrive just after you and immediately throw her protective barrier around you.  She never gets there first and she never tries to capture the objective.  She's perfectly happy just to keep you safe.  When her squat gets separated she nervously runs between her 'little ones' checking that they are all safe.  If anyone does go down she drops everything instantly and will sprint across cross the map, through 20 mobs of pure hellfire, just to revive them.  

Sometimes she offers motherly advice which everyone somehow just follows but frequently she's just in the background, making sure everyone is safe and having a good time.  

If anything dares to take Mother down the whole squad imediately drops and rushes to her aid.  Even the most disorganized PUG suddenly exhibits the most fantastic coordinated teamwork to almost instantly revive her and lord have mercy on whatever attacked her or just the hapless mob that dared be in close vicinity.  Not even the last cobra will be spared to avenge her, even if it's only round 4, because NO-ONE MESSES WITH MOTHER!

Modifié par BobFettle, 04 mai 2012 - 08:37 .

[follis2]

I think I'm a combination of the Trooper, the Mercenary and the Sniper (at least I try to).

[SWkazashi]

Funniest read of the week. Thanks.

[RPC_RPC]

I'm a trooper who wants to be super soldier. A super soldier wannabe!

[BobFettle]

svocke2 wrote...
The Crackhead
He's the Batarian Soldier with only a short range Shotgun, an Adrenaline Module and a case of Red Bull. He sprints off at the beginning of Wave 1 only to occasionally be seen whirling past you unleashing a cloud of Ballistic Blades and stealing your hard earn mob wipe as he sprints off again. He has already forgotten that there ever was a cover system and Falcon punches anything in sight. Atlas, Banshees, Ravagers half dead Centurians stuck full of soon to be exploding blades, anything. with each successful Melee he yells "BOOM" just in case you didnt see him take out yet another Husk. He has no regard for biotic combos or anything involving a trigger; but as he constantly reminds you with the kill feed, he has Ballistic blades. You realize afterwards that you have just been grossly outscored by the guy that hasn't yet realized he isn't playing Mario Cart.

If I'm not playing my Trooper Salarian Engineer I'm probably the Crackhead except I play a pure melee Geth Infiltrator running adrenalin mod and strength enhancer.  (Not always as good as described below, but on a good day fairly close )

Crackhead Melee Geth Infiltrator

Everything falls to a barrage of proxy mines and heavy melee.  Who needs cover if you have LoS and can see through walls.  Enemies melts away as soon as his fast cool down allows.  Any group bigger than 2 is in serious danger when this guy is around.  Everything is a speed run on maximum adrenalin.  4 devices are enabled in the time it takes the other 3 squad members to move halfway to the 1st one and then try and figure out what is happening.  Strategic targets are annihilated almost faster than they are announced.  Squad members are revived while they are still falling.  Reavers Maurauders, Pyros and rocket troopers, turrets, guardians and phantoms fall mercilessly.  Even Atlases, Brutes and Banshees are taken out in a series of explosions and plasma discharge and if he accidentally pushes the talk button you can manic laughter in the background that makes an enraged krogan sounds positively meek and friendly. 

Everything goes pear-shaped though if the objective is to hack a terminal.  His dedication to the mission prevents him
from leaving the objective.  He would hide in cover, taking pot shots at enemies with his proxy mines and pistol, making brief dashes out to melee groups that get too close.

This annoying guy can take the time to enable 12 devices, revive squad mates umpthteen times and still finish with a score 3 time higher than the rest of the PUG combined.

(Feel free to improve, correct and add personal opinion, this is only fiction after all ;-)

Modifié par BobFettle, 04 mai 2012 - 09:11 .

[R0Gun13]

Ha! Great read OP

Made my day

[Trick 1224]

This: brilliant.

Highly enjoyable read, thank you!

[joker_jack]

Just got threw playing a quick silver that finished with 1 ge (me), 1 gi, and 1 BSent. We had someone as the BF3 and also a combo of the CoD vet and Commander. Me and the gi were holding the line well by ourselves as well as the batarian (who res'd the bf3 6 or 7 times). All the bf3 guy could do is tell everyone how much they sucked before he ragequit in wave 4. We managed to get full extraction and I now have a widow vi.

[jupitersj]

ABjerre wrote...

This is your squad. These are the people you play with.

Modifié par jupitersj, 04 mai 2012 - 11:31 .

[GreeceMonkE]

Sinapus wrote...

GreeceMonkE wrote...

This one I feel applies to my friend and I....
 
The Legolas and Gimli

When you first start a game with this DUO you think they are only interested in one thing......the highest score possible. You reluctantly stay past the first couple of waves because all you have heard between waves is " I have high score....no I have it." Then the first mission comes and they shock you with their team work. Their communication is spot on, and they do whatever is nessassry to finish the missions as quickly as possible. As the game progresses you still hear them banter back and forth about most points, and you'll occasionally hear things like " I just took one to the face", followed by a " that's what she said....". Once extraction is complete your surprised neither of them has the highest score after all that talk. And that's when it hits you...it wasn't about the highest score, they were just trying to out score each other.

*Legolas takes out an atlas*
Gimli: That still only counts as ONE.

LOL...indeed, but that wont stop us from arguing about it.

[Tankcommander]

The Picky Kicker

This is the guy that holds up the round wanting to kick anybody and everybody. If you aren't playing an AA or SI, then you'll be getting his X by your name. There are only 7 weapons that you are allowed to use if you are playing with him; to use another will invoke his kick happy rage. No mic or equipment? You are gone! When the round finally starts you realize why he is so picky: the Picky Kicker is only a more annoying Leech, who will fail to complete the mission if he doesn't have people to take care of him.

[RyanPun1991]

haha good read

[NM_Che56]

Love this thread.
Captain Cobra!  I know that guy.
Confession: I had two brutes lined up in my sights with a cobra.  Saw a bonus Marauder or two to boot.  I fire with glee...ONLY TO HAVE A F******NG HUSK JUMP IN FRONT OF ME AND TAKE IT IN THE CHEST!!! 

Anyway, I think this song describes my playstyle

[Nightshifter777]

thats me, the sniper

[Duke of Bohan]

Haha! Brilliant thread and the OP is great.
I think I'm a cross between the trooper/the man and the mother, depends what I'm using.

[Spartanburger]

I'm probably a combination of Trooper, Frustrator and Bodyguard.

In some cases, I'll stick to someone for an entire round, sometimes disappearing when the winds whisper that we're about to be flanked by enemies coming from the other side of the map. In some cases I'll become Faith (from Mirrors Edge) and be able to traverse the map in seconds, rarely being seen, and taking out all the enemies that thought that separation from the group is a good thing, all while the rest of the team successfully holds back the main enemy force. An imperfect soldier. Sometimes performs on a level rarely seen by even gods, and sometimes will be eclipsed by even the weakest of noobs. His skill, and ability to stick with the team, varies at random for every wave. Yet he still manages to be useful: being there right when you need him, disappearing and picking off the flankers before you even knew they were doing so.

[Creston918]

ABjerre wrote...

The Girl
At some point during wave 1 she said “hello” with a voice that made it tinkle down your spine. As a result, no one but her speaks for the duration of the battle, because you might miss out on something she says, if you were speaking. She has an N7 Rating around your own and a class that supports yours – quickly you find yourself falling for this gamer girl. Or award winning voice actor – who knows?

Lies! LIES! There is no such creature in ME3! 

DamonD7 wrote...
The Nutter
Plays as Krogan, celebrates each completed wave with several headbutts. Overjoyed to see other Krogans on the team, as he'll try (and usually succeed) in getting them to join in the headbutting between rounds. Bonus points if there is a single team member of another race, standing by puzzled and lonely as three Krogan merrily headbutt each other.

:D:D
FOR TUCHANKA!


I have a few myself

Mr. "I got it!"
You'll never fail to know when Mr. "I got it!" is around. He's always the first to yell "I got you!" when you die, and damn if he doesn't resurrect you while you're lying on the equivalent of Normandy Beach, surrounded by 4 Banshees and three Ravagers. When he plays an infiltrator, he keeps shouting "Don't worry, I got 'em!" whenever a 4 Objectives wave pops up, and he'll keep reminding you that he doesn't need help and to "Stay in the base! I got it!" And when, on wave 10, there's 2 Banshees and 2 Brutes having their wicked way with your hack zone, "I got a rocket!" can be heard before everything is mercifully obliterated in nuclear fire. He is often seen on FBWG, as a Geth Infiltrator going by the name of bbzztt... transmission lost...

The Nice Guy
The nice guy is a decent player who varies wildly on scoreboards. One match he'll dominate by 40K points, whereas in the next, he'll come in third with a, quite frankly, pathetic performance. One thing that doesn't vary, however, is his never-ceasing stream of compliments and (intended to be) helpful tips. "Phantom on your right!" "Watch out, Brute coming up the back stairway!" "Thanks for capping that objective!" and "oooh, nice shot!" are frequently heard when playing with him, even though the rest of you would much rather he stay silent, as evidenced by the fact you never, ever talk back to the poor, lonely soul.


And finally, as a variation of The Savior, and somewhat of a cousin of the nice guy.

Mr. Consumables!
Did you foolishly die in a heavy mess of Cerberus troops? Not to fear, Mr. Consumables! is here! He'll waste two ops packs running to ress you. If he then dies after ressing you, he'll pop one of his own medigels so you don't have to waste time looking after him.

Are you one of those people who will never use consumables, not even on a Gold wave 10 hack? Mr. Consumables! has got your back. He's got plenty of rockets and he's not afraid to fire them! The whole team wiped on a wave 10 Assassination mission because they couldn't be bothered to hit the space bar while bleeding out, and because using a medigel is anathema to their entire being? Mr.Consumables! will run around the level, rocketing every target, while popping Ops Packs and Medigel like they're some uber form of Kool-Aid.

Can frequently be soon on the BSN forums complaining that nobody else uses any consumables. Also, if he takes a few minutes to go ready between rounds, please don't hate him for it. He's having to buy 11 new Veteran Packs to stock up on the Rockets and Ops Packs he wasted to make sure you still got your credits.

He loves Bioware the most when the Premium Equipment Pack is available in the store, and gladly spends 500K on more consumables!!


Yes, I am all three of these. 

Modifié par Creston918, 04 mai 2012 - 08:48 .

[dented_wheel]

Brilliant. Too embarassed to admit which one I am.