588 réponses à ce sujet

[Fortack]

LMFAO

[humes spork]

Chuch (this is me!)
You're in a match against geth on wave 10, you're at half health and no shields and a rocket trooper has you dead to rights. As the rocket that will seal your fate screams toward your head, it explodes in midair without a single point of damage dealt, and that's when you hear over the mic, "GOD. DAMN. IT.". Nothing stops Church from trying to get that coveted bronze headshot medal, but fate will be damned if it doesn't equally stop at nothing to deny it to him. Swarmers, rockets, sneezing just before pulling the trigger, biotic charges, krogan asses, it doesn't matter; when Church has the headshot lined up, Murphy's law will intervene somehow and in some way. Church will put more rounds within six inches of an enemy's head without hitting it, than most fire in an entire match total. Church isn't a bad player, and his score reflects it, he just couldn't headshot the lone guy standing between him and a bucket of water if his dick was on fire.

Modifié par humes spork, 19 avril 2012 - 02:18 .

[XqctaX]

nice read ty

[Vinticus]

The spy (or troll)
Uses geth infiltrator painted shiny black with gps. Cloaks and shoots at YOU.

You can pretty it up if you want.

[buthane22]

I once played with a role-player that was really into it. He was playing Geth engi and was speaking like Legion, saying stuff like : 'Turret deployed, please provide assistance', 'The most efficient strategy would be to fall back, we suggest this squad to retreat to a safer position'... and the worst : 'This platform require medical assistance' (Dude, your character is a machine... you need duct tape)

I hate role-players. But I love Healers, they're always welcome in my games

[ToughReason]

DamonD7 wrote...

The Nutter
Plays as Krogan, celebrates each completed wave with several headbutts. Overjoyed to see other Krogans on the team, as he'll try (and usually succeed) in getting them to join in the headbutting between rounds. Bonus points if there is a single team member of another race, standing by puzzled and lonely as three Krogan merrily headbutt each other.

mr. ABjerre,
I think this masterpiece deserve to be in frontpage...

Edit: usually at last one of them is sunny-pink second is sunny-green

Modifié par ToughReason, 19 avril 2012 - 03:07 .

[ABjerre]

ToughReason wrote...

DamonD7 wrote...

The Nutter
Plays as Krogan, celebrates each completed wave with several headbutts. Overjoyed to see other Krogans on the team, as he'll try (and usually succeed) in getting them to join in the headbutting between rounds. Bonus points if there is a single team member of another race, standing by puzzled and lonely as three Krogan merrily headbutt each other.

mr. ABjerre,
I think this masterpiece deserve to be in frontpage...

Edit: usually at last one of them is sunny-pink second is sunny-green

It is added. Along with the great ideas of "Humes Spork" and "Silent Fear".
Thank you guys

[DravicPL]

I always attempt to be The Man(!), but it is hardly doable when people want to kick you out after 10 second waiting for you to press space (while you choose consumables/class/weapons TO COMPLIMENT YOUR TEAM FFS).

[GodlessPaladin]

ABjerre wrote...
The Man(!)
A variation of the Trooper, but with a voice and a great sense of humor. He waits until everyone is ready before he chooses his class – the one that compliments the squads powers the most. At the end of wave 3 it is clear to you that your life will not be complete before this guy in on your friends list. Even if you wipe on wave 6 the fight was still well worth it. After a failed mission, he doesn’t rage quit like the 2 others - he suggests another map and/or enemy, because he is sure that it will work better.

...You think the guy who insists that you play on Firebase White Geth is "the man"?  For me, they're pretty much the worst thing about the ME3 MP community... right after the person expressing this viewpoint...

The Frustrator
He plays the
same class as you, but on a lower level. He also has the same gun, but
on a lower version. Despite of this, he kills things faster than you -
while reviving the fallen squad mates that you neglected. He sees the
flow of a battle in a way that only Gods could hope to. You were pretty
sure that he was on the far side of the map, yet he still managed to get
to the next terminal faster than you – taking down a Brute and a
Banshee in the process. He reminds you of everything that you are not,
and you hate him for it. You will leave straight after the game, and you
would rather take a bullet to the knee than see this guy ever again.

...Really?  Your response to someone doing better than you is to HATE them?  This is just starting to sound socially challenged.  <_<

When I see someone doing better than me in any game, I do the exact opposite of this.  I play with them again and again until I can beat them soundly at their own game, no matter how many times I fail in the process.  If not that, I would at the very least ask them what I could do to improve my game. 

Modifié par GodlessPaladin, 19 avril 2012 - 04:10 .

[AntiChri5]

The Leecher:

As soon as the game starts, he finds a nice safe corner to hole up in. As Wave after Wave of enemies falls, you cannot help but notice things are a bit tougher then they should be. You check the score and, sure enough, he doesn't have a single point. He has been too busy masturbating to help the squad. Whether a normally honest player driven to the edge by connection issues on Wave 10 after he gave it his all or an opportunistic scavanger who would never contribute, this player is living proof that no matter what kind of multiplayer a game has some asshole will find a way to ruin it for everyone.

The Pheonix:

One of your allies is down. He isn't too far out of the way, so you rush over to revive him. And then curse as you go down, the enemy you didn't see taking the opportunity. Noticing half the squad has been incapacitated, your teammates rush over to help. Only for their crumpled, broken bodies to join yours. And then, just as the player who first went down is about to bleed out or get executed he medi-gels and kills all the enemies in the area. If the rest of the squad hasn't been executed, he will revive everyone, but if they have it doesn't seem to bother him as he goes on to kill all the enemies and finish the wave all by himself. You can't help but wonder why he didn't just medi-gel in the first place.

The Guardian:

After being taken down, you watch in horror as an enemy approaches to execute you. You sigh and prepare to give up, wandering if you will have enough time to get a drink from the fridge before your teammates finish the round. But then, just at the last moment, you are saved! Whether it is a quick Overload, a stunning headshot, or a perfectly timed Pull, this hero has saved your life. You lean forward, ready to get back in the action, only to notice that you haven't been revived yet. You watch in horror as another soldier approaches, raising his boot to finish you off, only to be saved at the lasg instant. Again and again, they come to execute you, and again and again The Guardian stops them just in time. Whether it is a Sniper who is too far away or an Adept who can't take the firepower they would get for rushing to you, The Guardian might not be able to save you but he will be damned if he will just let them have you.

[Grimwick]

Hilarious read

[-Sxx-]

Great thread. Five starring.

[Gornok]

lol
and you see these players everyday

I used to call it heroes and support guys, but this is a much better breakdown

[Drummernate]

The Battlefield War Veteran

Closely Related to the CoD Veteran. This is the guy who will contantly say that the game is too unrealistic, and that shooting someone in the head with a Shuriken should be an instant kill no matter what. He will claim that the rocket launcher would never be able to penetrate an Atlas' armor and gives you a 20 minute lecture on the dynamics of armor verus anti-tank weapons and the impracticality of a mech compared to a tank. When you mention shields and barriers he writes you off as a nerd and refuses to respond to anything you say. Gameplay wise he is using the Striker, because it reminds him of the pre-patched USAS-12 Frag Rounds that he loved to use in Battlefield... since ya know, everyone has USAS-12's with explosive ammo in real life.

[BaKaNoOB]

this is the best threat

[Drummernate]

The Halo Kid

Usually under the age of 18 and constantly asks what the jump button is. Always uses the scoped mattock/vindicator because it gives him nostalgia about the DMR/Battle Rifle of Halo. Claims this whole game is stupid because it stole Halo's plot because the Reapers resemble the Flood. Melee's everything that gets within 20m because he thinks the omni-blade looks like an energy sword. If you outscore him by any amount he will either PM you to 1v1 him on SWAT or send you a friend request and spam you invites in 5 second intervals. Claims to be an Inheritor at least once after every sentence, just to be sure you know how famous he is in the gaming world.

Modifié par Drummernate, 19 avril 2012 - 05:10 .

[Methanoid666]

legendary

[QCteamkill]

The Grabber

This guy has an obvious pattern, hiding in dark corners of the map where innocent bystanders might trod unaware. He'll actually run toward the enemy for the opportunity. You can sometimes appreciate the sight of him running after one nemesis from cover to cover like a drunk nerd after chicks on a dance floor.

[AznHaxx]

The Good Krogan

The 1 obligatory Krogan in every single multi-player round that runs around killing everything with melee. Often stops for a while puzzled as to why his teammates refuse to join him in his glorious little parade of death

The Bad Krogan

That kid who keeps missing his melees and even though he has the heaviest shield, never fails to die on every single round

[R1cky Da Man 19]

This is the best damn thread ive ever read!

[Schneidend]

ABjerre wrote...

The Charger
Plays human vanguard, krogan soldier or something similar. Depending on the level of difficulty, playing with this guy is a very different experience. On Bronze you can safely go make a cup of coffee while he is compensating for his erectile dysfunction. On Gold however, he is more effective serving as a mobile shield for the enemy, as your no amount of armor penetration will allow bullets to penetrate him - as opposed to what the enemy would otherwise be hiding behind. Expect him to save more lives than he will be taking, requiring a lot of revivals. On later waves, he being killed is actually a relief, as you can now hit the enemy instead of him.

Not sure how I feel about the more aggressive, tanky classes being the only ones singled out for a negative epithet.

[Maria Caliban]

Can you please take 'The Girl' off the original post? I could pretend you were using a gender-neutral 'he' and 'him' previous to that.

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 19 avril 2012 - 06:42 .

[Ledgend1221]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Can you please take 'The Girl' off the original post? I could pretend you were using a gender-neutral 'he' and 'him' previous to that.

No its funny!
It shall remain there 'til I deem it unfunny!

[ABjerre]

Schneidend wrote...
Not sure how I feel about the more aggressive, tanky classes being the only ones singled out for a negative epithet.

Its not the classes themselves, nor everyone that plays them... It just that players with a "charger" mindset seem to favour these. Hope that clears things up

Maria Caliban wrote...

Can you please take 'The Girl' off the original post? I could pretend you were using a gender-neutral 'he' and 'him' previous to that.

Ah, c'mon - its all in the spirit of good fun

Modifié par ABjerre, 19 avril 2012 - 06:47 .

[Maria Caliban]

[quote]Maria Caliban wrote...

Can you please take 'The Girl' off the original post? I could pretend you were using a gender-neutral 'he' and 'him' previous to that. [/quote]

Ah, c'mon - its all in the spirit of good fun [/quote]
Then could you possibly alternate genders for your descriptions? Or at least have a few other than 'The Girl' be female?