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The Nutter entry had me laughing out loud. It's fun to be Krogan!
This is your squad. These are the people you play with.
Débuté par
ABjerre
, avril 19 2012 07:26
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#129
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 12:01
BobFettle
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Suzaku4489 wrote...
The One Mand Wolf Pack
At some point an Asari Adept got frisky with a Krogan Soldier. This was their unholy offspring. When you see him defiling the sactity of your Gold lobby, it is only of your good heart that you allow him to join the game. You immediately regret this as he sprints off on his own at the start of wave 1, and you damn him to the far reaches of hell when his is never around to revive your sorry ass. On the other hand he is never in need of a revive, so why bother raging? It is not untill wave 9 when you and the 2 other campers are trying to fight off a Phantom in the tower of FB:Dagger that you understand what is going on. While you were 1 guitar short of of singing Kumbaya in your camp, wondering why no targets appeared, he was doing unspeakable things to the enemy on the level below you.
Just sprayed my monitor with coffee laughing so hard at this one. Had a krogan vanguard doing unspeakable things to the enemies in the basement just last night!
#131
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 12:23
Kesp
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What about that level 20 guy who carries the best guns money can buy. He saves the entire squad several times with his lethality, then suddenly he gets insta-killed by a Phantom and leaves the game in anger.
#132
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 12:31
Sevrun
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Kesp wrote...
What about that level 20 guy who carries the best guns money can buy. He saves the entire squad several times with his lethality, then suddenly he gets insta-killed by a Phantom and leaves the game in anger.
you mean the guy with a God complex that puts his foot in the computer for it's failure to recognize his deific greatness?
That's most of the people on the internet, and it's often why they're here. so they can be an ass with total impunity. At least if I'm going to be an ass, I do it in person.
#133
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 12:46
TAO Devil
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This was definitely worth a few minutes to read. Well done good sir!
#136
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 01:19
BaKaNoOB
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What about the players with best equipment who are allayw last in my games
I Has BW 1 for exampe One other infiltrator had BW 7 and his score were dead last (i was playng medic he just tood and shoot)
I Has BW 1 for exampe One other infiltrator had BW 7 and his score were dead last (i was playng medic he just tood and shoot)
#137
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 01:34
DamonD7
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A fine example of The Nutter in action...and then they even go one better :
http://www.youtube.c...bed/Kw5vhYM5UAY
http://www.youtube.c...bed/Kw5vhYM5UAY
Modifié par DamonD7, 20 avril 2012 - 10:42 .
#138
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 02:14
Emzamination
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The Girl
At some point during
wave 1 she said “hello” with a voice that made it tinkle down your
spine. As a result, no one but her speaks for the duration of the
battle, because you might miss out on something she says, if you were
speaking. She has an N7 Rating around your own and a class that supports
yours – quickly you find yourself falling for this gamer girl. Or award
winning voice actor – who knows?
lol I wish, Noob tries to sound cool while asking for my location and Age then when I get silent, I get the awkward "Omg I didn't offend you did I?" Lets just play <_<
At some point during
wave 1 she said “hello” with a voice that made it tinkle down your
spine. As a result, no one but her speaks for the duration of the
battle, because you might miss out on something she says, if you were
speaking. She has an N7 Rating around your own and a class that supports
yours – quickly you find yourself falling for this gamer girl. Or award
winning voice actor – who knows?
lol I wish, Noob tries to sound cool while asking for my location and Age then when I get silent, I get the awkward "Omg I didn't offend you did I?" Lets just play <_<
#139
Posté 20 avril 2012 - 07:52
Spectre Piatch
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Haha, I thought 'The Girl' was somewhat flattering, thou I have never been in a situation like that - most guys just seem to ignore if their teammates are men or woman and that is just how it should be 
I find it funny, nonetheless.. If this was written by a girl, someone like 'The other woman' would be missing - the type of girl that gets pissed if she encounters another female in 'her' game, where she was the precious jewel aka 'The Girl' , even worse if her opponent plays better x3 Catfight!
But my favourite is 'The Man', because I like outgoing, nice people.. there are others, just shouting short commands in the mic, that always freaks me out oO
I hate those! I prefere the talking ones xD
I find it funny, nonetheless.. If this was written by a girl, someone like 'The other woman' would be missing - the type of girl that gets pissed if she encounters another female in 'her' game, where she was the precious jewel aka 'The Girl' , even worse if her opponent plays better x3 Catfight!But my favourite is 'The Man', because I like outgoing, nice people.. there are others, just shouting short commands in the mic, that always freaks me out oO
I hate those! I prefere the talking ones xD
Modifié par Spectre Piatch, 20 avril 2012 - 08:58 .
#140
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 09:59
BobFettle
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This thread never gets old 
Just reread it for the umptheenth time today.
More players (Not sure if already mentione or if variations of the existing themes):
The overconfident Mr Sensitive
This guy rocks up, hosting a silver match with a N7 rating of 35 and a lv 9 Adept sporting a sniper rifle and shotgun that probably gives him a power recharge rate of -70%. The other 2 players seems decent though so you take a chance. You have to revive Mr sensitive a few times and his score is about 20 times lower than anyone else but you still manage a really easy and fast run untill the 7th wave when he decided to ragequit and ruin the game for everyone else.
The German Trio (Or any other non-english language)
You join a silver game with the other 3 players ready to go. As soon as the game starts all three suddenly starts giving feedback in German. Their game tactics makes as much sense to you as their German. Still it seems to work well but you're always behind or in the way. Every now and then you hear your name followed by angry German. Sure, English is also your second language, but you're German is not that good and under the circumstances you do not think saying "Kannst du bitte laut und deutlich sprechen" is going to improve your standing. After wave 7 they stop rezzing you and you get kicked so fast after the match ends that you did not even have time to see what your score was.
The lagging host
You join a game with 3 competent looking players. Soon after the first wave you realize that something is very wrong. You see ghost enemies all over the map. You headshot through rank and file troops without your sniper rifle without inflicting any damage. Laders becomes frightfull tar pits, trapping you for minutes on end. After the round you notice that the hosting player is the only one that managed to kill anything that round. The other 2 players flee the game as soon as the next round starts and you realize you've been lured in and captured by the 'lagging host.'
Just reread it for the umptheenth time today.More players (Not sure if already mentione or if variations of the existing themes):
The overconfident Mr Sensitive
This guy rocks up, hosting a silver match with a N7 rating of 35 and a lv 9 Adept sporting a sniper rifle and shotgun that probably gives him a power recharge rate of -70%. The other 2 players seems decent though so you take a chance. You have to revive Mr sensitive a few times and his score is about 20 times lower than anyone else but you still manage a really easy and fast run untill the 7th wave when he decided to ragequit and ruin the game for everyone else.
The German Trio (Or any other non-english language)
You join a silver game with the other 3 players ready to go. As soon as the game starts all three suddenly starts giving feedback in German. Their game tactics makes as much sense to you as their German. Still it seems to work well but you're always behind or in the way. Every now and then you hear your name followed by angry German. Sure, English is also your second language, but you're German is not that good and under the circumstances you do not think saying "Kannst du bitte laut und deutlich sprechen" is going to improve your standing. After wave 7 they stop rezzing you and you get kicked so fast after the match ends that you did not even have time to see what your score was.
The lagging host
You join a game with 3 competent looking players. Soon after the first wave you realize that something is very wrong. You see ghost enemies all over the map. You headshot through rank and file troops without your sniper rifle without inflicting any damage. Laders becomes frightfull tar pits, trapping you for minutes on end. After the round you notice that the hosting player is the only one that managed to kill anything that round. The other 2 players flee the game as soon as the next round starts and you realize you've been lured in and captured by the 'lagging host.'
#141
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 10:18
Zehtuka
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One man army/Trooper combo happens quite often on my Salarian Engineer.
Had this happen to me once, it was glorious.Abandon all hope ye who enter here” is written in blood on the inside of the counter that was once our last line of defense. Suddenly, from the landing pad, a trail of fire across the sky, a mind-shattering explosion, the enemy falls by the hundreds. Help has arrived – wave complete!
#142
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 10:35
vonSlash
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My suggested addition:
The General:
Much like the Commander, the General is a self-proclaimed strategy expert known for attempting to micromanage his teammates like they're bishops in a game of chess. What differentiates the General from the Commander, however, is experience. The General knows his stuff and has the skill, equipment, and N7 rank to prove it. When you hear his sixth order to "go hack the damn objective already, corporal. I'll cover you.", even though you resent being bossed around by a stranger on the internet, you can't shake the voice in the back of your head telling you that he's got a point.
If you add this one in, I'm a mix of the General, the One Man Wolf Pack, the Master Eccentric, and the Immortal.
The General:
Much like the Commander, the General is a self-proclaimed strategy expert known for attempting to micromanage his teammates like they're bishops in a game of chess. What differentiates the General from the Commander, however, is experience. The General knows his stuff and has the skill, equipment, and N7 rank to prove it. When you hear his sixth order to "go hack the damn objective already, corporal. I'll cover you.", even though you resent being bossed around by a stranger on the internet, you can't shake the voice in the back of your head telling you that he's got a point.
If you add this one in, I'm a mix of the General, the One Man Wolf Pack, the Master Eccentric, and the Immortal.
Modifié par vonSlash, 02 mai 2012 - 10:37 .
#143
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 10:43
OniEdge
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The Smelly Fish
A Variation of "The No Leaf Clover" (aka, the Unlucky Charm). Plays rock-paper-scissor with a Brute. Always wants hugs from a Banshee. Plays cards with an Atlas. Practices back stabs with the Phantom. These are the things that describe the Smelly Fish. It really doesn't matter how he plays, but for some unknown (possibly mystical) reason, he attracts the absolute worst the wave has to offer. Whether you like him because it means the wave ends sooner or hate him because it means reviving the whole squard BY YOURSELF, you cannot deny that something reeks. And EVERY Banshee, Brute, Atlas, or Phantom is coming to kill whatever it is. Along with the rest of you, just for kicks. (Happened to me once, different from the Unlucky Charm)
The Martyr
You know not who he is and why he does what he does. What you DO know is that he may have tried to play "hero" one too many times. They are 10. He is 1. He laughs because he sees what you do not: they are in trouble because he has arrived. And when he rushes into the vast horde and dies a most glorious death, as only he can, he laughs. He will not use Medi-Gel. It is beneath him. Only time will tell if you or anyone else remembers him. What you will remember is that he cost you the game because apparently, reviving his F***ING squad mates was less important than dying a most glorious death.
The Fly in Your Soup
You're aiming for the perfect headshot. The enemy is stationary and doesn't notice your red laser from 1000 meters. 4 seconds. Focusing your mind, you concentrate as hard as possible on your enemy. 3 seconds. Soon, very soon, you'll pull the trigger and watch as the bloody chunks splatter. 2 seconds. You exhale your breath. 1 seconds. You make the final adjustments. 0. You pull the trigger and at the most inopportune, worst possible moment, your squadmate walks into your line of fire. You miss and curse under your breath, but believe it to have been an accident.
But make no mistake: he is here to provide you with a constant source of misery. And you know what they say: Misery loves company and he is sticking to you like Banshees love the Unlucky Charm/ Smelly Fish. He's not there to help the cause or get the points. He's there to ruin your day. Why? Because you're beating his score by a factor of 10. Maybe if he wasn't blocking your shots, he'd have more than 100 points. He'll never know...
Also, I'd like to see "The Charger" changed to "The Darwin Award Winner"
A Variation of "The No Leaf Clover" (aka, the Unlucky Charm). Plays rock-paper-scissor with a Brute. Always wants hugs from a Banshee. Plays cards with an Atlas. Practices back stabs with the Phantom. These are the things that describe the Smelly Fish. It really doesn't matter how he plays, but for some unknown (possibly mystical) reason, he attracts the absolute worst the wave has to offer. Whether you like him because it means the wave ends sooner or hate him because it means reviving the whole squard BY YOURSELF, you cannot deny that something reeks. And EVERY Banshee, Brute, Atlas, or Phantom is coming to kill whatever it is. Along with the rest of you, just for kicks. (Happened to me once, different from the Unlucky Charm)
The Martyr
You know not who he is and why he does what he does. What you DO know is that he may have tried to play "hero" one too many times. They are 10. He is 1. He laughs because he sees what you do not: they are in trouble because he has arrived. And when he rushes into the vast horde and dies a most glorious death, as only he can, he laughs. He will not use Medi-Gel. It is beneath him. Only time will tell if you or anyone else remembers him. What you will remember is that he cost you the game because apparently, reviving his F***ING squad mates was less important than dying a most glorious death.
The Fly in Your Soup
You're aiming for the perfect headshot. The enemy is stationary and doesn't notice your red laser from 1000 meters. 4 seconds. Focusing your mind, you concentrate as hard as possible on your enemy. 3 seconds. Soon, very soon, you'll pull the trigger and watch as the bloody chunks splatter. 2 seconds. You exhale your breath. 1 seconds. You make the final adjustments. 0. You pull the trigger and at the most inopportune, worst possible moment, your squadmate walks into your line of fire. You miss and curse under your breath, but believe it to have been an accident.
But make no mistake: he is here to provide you with a constant source of misery. And you know what they say: Misery loves company and he is sticking to you like Banshees love the Unlucky Charm/ Smelly Fish. He's not there to help the cause or get the points. He's there to ruin your day. Why? Because you're beating his score by a factor of 10. Maybe if he wasn't blocking your shots, he'd have more than 100 points. He'll never know...
Also, I'd like to see "The Charger" changed to "The Darwin Award Winner"
Modifié par OniEdge, 02 mai 2012 - 11:22 .
#144
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 10:45
N7Kopper
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The "my canon"
The guy who, when finding someone playing as a species they either betrayed, wiped out, sold out, let die, or otherwise ostracised, attempts a kick vote, refuses to revive or help them, and is generally a moron.
The guy who, when finding someone playing as a species they either betrayed, wiped out, sold out, let die, or otherwise ostracised, attempts a kick vote, refuses to revive or help them, and is generally a moron.
#145
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 10:57
BobFettle
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Somewhere between the One Man Army, Sniper and Trooper
The Master Assassin
You're somewhat surprised when you notice a Geth Infiltrator in the lobby packing only a light pistol with a Melee mod. As soon as the game starts he sprints off, incidentally exactly where the enemies will spawn 5 seconds later. That is the last indication you see of any enemies in the first few wave except for the rolling kills counter on the bottom of the screen. The only time you see him is if someone needs a rez or if an objective needs to be captured. The rest of the time he's sprinting all over the map, and invisible quicksilver predator; instantly vaporizing any group of enemies, hunting out anything that tries to hide behind cover, killing anything that has strayed too far from the group. Where he really shines though is with taking out strategic targets. It does not matter if it's a boss. It does not matter if it's surrounded by scores of comrades. It does not matter if it's hiding on the other side of the map. The four targets are annihilated mercilessly in the scope of a few seconds. He's a really great addition if you want quick bucks and experience but it takes a strong man not to hate him for the fact that his score is higher than the rest of the group combined, that you
hardly had anything to do and that he's better at close combat than your Krogan vanguard. It takes a strong man not to be annoyed. Stronger than you in any case.
The Master Assassin
You're somewhat surprised when you notice a Geth Infiltrator in the lobby packing only a light pistol with a Melee mod. As soon as the game starts he sprints off, incidentally exactly where the enemies will spawn 5 seconds later. That is the last indication you see of any enemies in the first few wave except for the rolling kills counter on the bottom of the screen. The only time you see him is if someone needs a rez or if an objective needs to be captured. The rest of the time he's sprinting all over the map, and invisible quicksilver predator; instantly vaporizing any group of enemies, hunting out anything that tries to hide behind cover, killing anything that has strayed too far from the group. Where he really shines though is with taking out strategic targets. It does not matter if it's a boss. It does not matter if it's surrounded by scores of comrades. It does not matter if it's hiding on the other side of the map. The four targets are annihilated mercilessly in the scope of a few seconds. He's a really great addition if you want quick bucks and experience but it takes a strong man not to hate him for the fact that his score is higher than the rest of the group combined, that you
hardly had anything to do and that he's better at close combat than your Krogan vanguard. It takes a strong man not to be annoyed. Stronger than you in any case.
Modifié par BobFettle, 02 mai 2012 - 10:59 .
#146
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 11:11
adam26toronto
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Earthclan you have failed *hssssst* in providing any sort of recognition *hsssst* of our people. The Money Grubbers are the ones whom *hssssst* exposed the malfunctioning Geth on Noveria and *hssssst* you swoop in and reap the rewards *hssssst* with your code-named ''Firebase White Geth Farming". *hssssst* How typical.
#147
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 11:17
GodlessPaladin
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Suzaku4489 wrote...
The One Mand Wolf Pack
At some point an Asari Adept got frisky with a Krogan Soldier. This was their unholy offspring. When you see him defiling the sactity of your Gold lobby, it is only of your good heart that you allow him to join the game. You immediately regret this as he sprints off on his own at the start of wave 1, and you damn him to the far reaches of hell when his is never around to revive your sorry ass. On the other hand he is never in need of a revive, so why bother raging? It is not untill wave 9 when you and the 2 other campers are trying to fight off a Phantom in the tower of FB:Dagger that you understand what is going on. While you were 1 guitar short of of singing Kumbaya in your camp, wondering why no targets appeared, he was doing unspeakable things to the enemy on the level below you.
I think I might be this guy. It sure seems like my teammates are always sitting back singing kumbaya while I get more than all of their scores combined and do all of the objectives. Little more than leechers, I say. <_<
When I join a pub lobby, I assume by default that my teammates are going to be useless, slow-witted cannon fodder that will only slow me down and thus start a match off by promptly zipping off to do my thing. If the teammates prove me wrong and actually start doing useful things (quite rare), I change my tune and start talking and coordinating strategies.
Modifié par GodlessPaladin, 02 mai 2012 - 11:23 .
#148
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 11:19
Xetto
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Haha "The Nutter" made me laugh so bad, its totally true, even i get caut up in it sometimes xD:lol:
Edit: Guess im the bodyguard type
I love The Krogan VG for just that
One man army should be renamed the Shepard
Edit: Guess im the bodyguard type
I love The Krogan VG for just that One man army should be renamed the Shepard
Modifié par Tecco, 02 mai 2012 - 11:44 .
#149
Guest_Nyoka_*
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 11:21
Guest_Nyoka_*
Guest_Nyoka_*
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"The girl" was funny.
There should be descriptions for The Black and The Jew :happy:
There should be descriptions for The Black and The Jew :happy:
#150
Posté 02 mai 2012 - 11:27
Xetto
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Tried one with 4 krogan sentinells once, best run i ever had ^^DamonD7 wrote...
A fine example of The Nutter in action...and then they even go one better :
http://www.youtube.c...bed/Kw5vhYM5UAY
