7 réponses à ce sujet

[kamal_]

Durin Ironshield of the iron hills pays a visit to the Elven King of Mirkwood.

"Sir", says Durin, "We have decided to go to war with ye."

The elven king looks incredulous, but takes war seriously. "We? Who is this we?", he says sternly.

"Well, that would be me, me brother Thorin, his son Durin, our cousins Olin and Golin, and our pop Thrain."

"My good Dwarf, I have 1100 elves at my command that can be ready to move on a moment's notice.", says the king.

"Oh.", replies Durin. "Let me get back to ye on that." The Dwarf leaves, but returns two days later. "Ok king, I have rounded up two more cousins and we a few axes between us all."

"Sir Dwarf, I have 300 of the finest archers around, plus my royal guards are all spellsingers, armed with swords of sharpness."

"Oh, well, I see." The Dwarf lord thinks a bit. "Let me come back to ye."And he leaves to return again in two days. "Ok king, we have rounded up a few more swords and I think we are ready".

"You should know my good dwarf that I have since raised the size of my elven army to 1300."

"Ah hek!", and the dwarf leaves. He comes back the next day. "Well king, I am afraid we have to call off the war."

"I am sorry to hear that. Was it the power of my elven army to changed your mind?"

"Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners."

Modifié par kamal_, 19 avril 2012 - 11:14 .

[Axe_Edge]

AD&D

What do you call a 20th level magic user?




Anything he wants you to.

(Well, it was funny way back in 1979)

[M. Rieder]

A human, an elf, and a half-elf walk into a bar. The dwarf just kept on going....



...because dwarves are short....

[Axe_Edge]

An elf, a human and a dwarf are all enjoying drinks in a tavern when each notices a fly in their glass.
The elf places his napkin over the glass and pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"



*just read this at WotC

[Dorateen]

What do you call an orc with half a brain?









Gifted.



Harumph!

[Alupinu]

PC's are haggling with Merchant.
(1D4)

1-Hey, don't make me roll initiative!-
Bad guys slings insults
2-So which one of your parents was the Orc?-
3-You smell like you've got two beholders in a headlock!
4-I knew a guy who talked Fancy like you. He's dead now.

[kamal_]

Dorateen wrote...

What do you call an orc with half a brain?









Gifted.



Harumph!

A necromancer goes to the necromancer store and picks out a pound of human brains, a pound of elf brains, and a pound of orc brains, "How much for these brains?" he asks the storekeeper.

"5 gold for a pound of human brains, 5 gold for a pound of elf brains, and 1000 gold for a pound of orc brains" the merchant replies.

"1000 for a pound of orc brains? Why so expensive?" the necromancer asks.

"Do you have any idea how many orcs I had to kill to get a pound of brains?"

[Alupinu]

How did they balance the stats for Beholders in the MM?



... they eyeballed it.