But lo and behold, a conveniently placed elevator activates at a convenient time and up Shepard goes into the great beyond. Almost as good as a flaming chariot right? He's not done quite yet however. As he looks around to get his bearings, he figuratively pisses himself in sheer terror. A GIANT FREAKING DRAGON is just hovering in space, almost menacingly.
It's Shenron! the mystical dragon spirit! Apparently all of those "prothean obelisks" Shepard actually collected to boost his war assets number actually were dragon balls. Go figure...
Shenron tells our hero that he can have one wish granted to him. The end of the reapers is nigh, but Shepard hesitates, considering the endless possibilities that were impossible just moments ago. Literally anything can happen, but we know what decision our hero will make.
But all of the sudden, (and I kid you not) a talking pig jumps out of nowhere, and interrupts Shepard, screaming something about "the world's most comfortable pair of panties". Shenron disappears, but not before a pair of panties appears out of thin air and lands on the pig's head. He runs away cackling.
As Shepard watches the porker run away with a face almost like
, another mystical being shows up, though he isn't nearly as impressive as a dragon in space. It is a human child, and he tells shepard of three things he can do to stop the reapers. However, none of them are quite as good as just wishing them away, and they will all end up with similar consequences anyways. Shepard dejectedly chooses the best of the three, and the credits role.The End.
I lied about this ending being better, but you can't always get what was promised to you
Even if you were probably entitled to it.
Pce Brothas
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