Note the Second: This is inspired by the work and style of "The Very Secret Diaries of the Fellowship of the Ring", by Cassandra Clare (thanks to others in thread as was entirely too lazy to look up her name) if you haven't read it, DO SO!
Note the Third: Content is considered Mature, like the game. Easily offended, please do not read.
Note the Fourth: Massive, huge, ginormous spoilers contained herein. With teeth. And guns.
The Diary of Rox Cousland
Day 1: Was wandering around town when accosted about my dog in the pantry. V. annoying. Will maybe next time get Orlesian Lap Cat instead of Mabari War Dog. Cook highly ungrateful. Stupid bint. Next time will leave giant mutant rats in larder.
- Bro going off to scout darkspawn inv. Lucky git.
- Ran into Mum who AGAIN brought up me marrying. Arg. Marriage is so BORING. Will not play second fiddle to noble idiot so we can get some extra tracts of land. I want adventure, dammit. It's all well and good for Mum, she and Dad were quite the badarses in their day against the Orlesians. Whatevs. Still not marrying His Noble Dorkiness.
- Went and talked to Dad. Arl Howe was with him. Howe creeps me out, hate way he looks at me. Hate way he looks at dog. Pervy old git. Bearded fossil man with them, supposedly a Gray Warden. Not bad looking, but ancient! Still, experience intrigues me, so wanted to go off with him to "discuss becoming a Warden" but Dad put the kibosh on that quick.
Dad real downer sometimes.
- Caught Arl Howe sniffing my unmentionables. Said he was "Checking for traps." My fanny. Pervy old git.
- Woke up found sis in law and neph dead. V. sad. Mum okay, so that's good.
- Betrayed by Arl Howe!!!!! KNEW he was pervy old git. If he'd wanted my underwear so badly, he could have just had it! Mum and I found Dad, but Dad not doing so good. Bearded fossil also there. Helped keep Dad alive so maybe not so bad. Mum decided to stay and sacrifice w/Dad instead of escaping w/me. Will miss them. V. sad.
On the plus side, Noble Dorkiness slain. Woohoo!
- Bearded fossil insisted on me calling him "Duncan". Whatevs. As other Warden candidate quite dead, has chosen me instead. Considered briefly, but as bro. gone, keep gone, noble status gone, figured it was my best bet. Off to Ostagar to fight darkspawn.
Duncan not interested in tent activities. Think he might be kinda gay.
Day 2: Made it to Ostagar. Met King. King hot. V. interested in Howe's betrayal, but seemed not to believe me when I told him of the incident with unmentionables. All obsessed with total vanquish of the darkspawn in a glorious battle, fighting along side the might and valor of the Gray Wardens, etc.
Think maybe King not too bright. Truth to tell, didn't know we even had a king. Thought we were an autonomous collective.
- Duncan had Wardenly things to do, so let me wander. Met other two Warden candidates. One mildly hot, other not even worth speaking of. Think he might have liver complaint as skin so yellow. Met mages, templars, chantry type people, and a Tranquil. All v. annoying. Apparently being a Gray Warden candidate worth something, so woohoo! Still can't get into army camp, though. Stupid soldier.
- Saw man giving mage a hard time, so thought he must be all right. V. hot. Turns out he was Alistair, another GW. Said he was going to lead us into the Wilds. I could lead him into some wilds, but thought might not be right time to bring up what w/darkspawn and impending death looming and all. Ah well. There's always after the battle.
- Watched Duncan talk with Alistair. Now thinking Duncan v. definitely gay. Might also explain King's obsession with GWs.
- V. embarrassing moment when speaking with Duncan. Got all excited when told about GW ritual until informed it was called "Bonding" not "Bondage". Face v. red. However, Alistair quite cute when flummoxed.
- Sent into Wilds to retrieve blood and treaties. Joy.
- Encountered first darkspawn. Icky! Will take days to get smell of ds out of hair. Made others get blood. Too gross.
- Found supposedly enchanted to the Black City and beyond chest that was supposed to have treaties in it. V. hot woman there, who told us her mum had the treaties. Alistair all pissy. Still cute, though. But, forget treaties, want name of her tailor. Took us to her mum. Not hot. Quite insane, however. Still, gave us treaties so that's nice. Back to Ostagar!
- Went through ritual. Other two recruits dead. V. sad. However, I am now Gray Warden! Go me! Note: DS blood tastes worse than it smells. Glad did not vomit on Alistair.
- Still can't get into army camp, even though Gray Warden. Stupid soldiers.
- Meeting with King and General Loghain. Loghain not hot, but can see possible former hotness. Loghain not happy with King's obsession with GWs. Perhaps jealous of Duncan. Loghain supposedly has daughter, who is queen, so maybe not. It's decided that Al and I will light some bonfire. I drank that manky blood to light a fire? WTH? Oh well. Never let it be said I can't follow orders. Will go to stupid tower and light stupid beacon. Al not happy either. Is he going to whine like that all the time? May have to rethink Al's hotness factor.
- Loghain apparently QUITE jealous of Duncan, as he got his panties in a bunch and traipsed off the field of battle. King dead. Duncan dead. Tower and Ostagar overrun. Saved by hot chick's crazy mum. Dog okay. Alistair okay, although v. upset. Discussed situation w/others and decided to use treaties to get other races to join us. Loghain will pay for jealous snit. Hot chick named "Morrigan" and will be coming w/us. Woohoo!
- Alistair IMMEDIATELY went into sulks once left Wilds. I am forced to lead. V. annoying. Morrigan amusing enough, though. Made all her clothes herself. Asked her to make me some. She demanded jewelry in exchange. Will have to get some. Want that darling, kicky blouse. Maybe no feathers, though. Morrigan nicely flirty, but something off about her. Oh well. Made camp. Lothering tomorrow.
Modifié par Adria Teksuni, 08 décembre 2009 - 06:31 .
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