109 réponses à ce sujet

[noretus]

MOAR!

[Mesecina]

The v. secret diary of Teddy the Dog (continued)

Day 3:

Reached some kind of small human settlement – too bad rather liked the Wilds, anyway Master not in best mood, didn't try to cheer her up with leg humping, already know she not too appreciative (yes can be quite a ******) picked a fight with a bunch of smelly humans, killed them all for some reason then gave me a somewhat confusing line about me being hungry… What does she think I am?! Some kind of child eating three legged monster?! I have standards dammnit!!!!!! V.v.v.v.v.v. angry, gonna pee on her tent tonight

That aside found out something v. exciting – swamp witch can turn into animal!!!!! Only managed to become big hairy spider so far (defintely needs some exercise) – v. gross but think of the possibilities!!! Might be in love

Tried to socialize with a lovely dog lady over by the bridge, said I stink. Me?! Stink!? WTF?! And I just rolled in the best of swamp mud earlier today. Whatever not gonna waste my time on woman with no style. Summoned by the Master  in the meanwhile anyway

Entered a big nasty smelling building, had a fit of sneezing, candles everywhere, must be careful with tail… Went to meet old hag smelling of candle wax, stared at me with »What's the dirty mongrel doing here« look, quietly growled at her then found a quiet spot to pee – hah

Cheeseguy and Swamp Witch arguing all the time – picking a side not difficult, getting tiresome however, wish the Swamp Witch could just turn into a lovely wolfette –black as night, white sharp teeth, a pair of amber glowing eyes… Was awakened from daydreaming by carefully aimed poke between ribs, Master demanding me to
bite both of them. Master not in best of moods however, resisted the urge to object so only nibbled on Swamp Witch – honest, loved how the Cheeseguy screamed like a sissy again, bit him twice.

Entered another nasty smelling building this time it was the familiar stench of bad booze. Jumped by some drunkards instantly – beginning to see a pattern here.
Some chick pretended to be fighting on our side – meh not bad for a woman but Master way better with blade, on the plus side doesn't scream half as much as Cheeseguy when struck.

Ouch me ears – the chick proved to have incredibly high piched annoying voice that just rips through one's brain. Good thing we're leaving her behind…

Wha-, wait?!
Was stunned finding out the Ear-tearing Fiend is coming along plus wait for it…
I have to go out ALONE and HUNT for dinner!!!! WTF?! I mean WTF?! Whenever did I actually catch anything?! FFS we lived in a f**** castle like 5 f**** days ago, was forbidden to even hunt for cats (curse them) and now I'm supposed to CATCH A F**** DINNER?!
Now this is where I draw the line!!!!!!!!!! This calls for poop in sleeping bag.

Tried to argue my case, failed miserably, off to the fields, gonna try to find a dead something – what? Beggars can't be choosers

Almost had my ass handed to me by a pack of wolves – man the leader was hot, ran like sissy, screamed like Cheeseguy and hid in a Barn.

Hey they got chicken? Staged an epic fight with a pack of them– emerged victorious. Ate one straight away to celebrate, took others to camp. Who's the man b****? Hah

Afforded myself a fine nap while keeping an eye on the catch. Master came back later – hope she learns a lesson from the surprise in her sleeping bag.

Brought a giant guy smelling of cookies – yaaay cookies. Doesn't speak much unlike Ear-Tearing Fiend.

 
Day 4

After dinner Cookie came to socialize with me – seems a fine lad, too big for leg humping and not really my type. Hope he's not some kind of perv. He's the only one who seems to understand me. Like him so far, unlike Ear-Tearing Fiend – went to pee on her tent before bedtime.

Still angry with Master – who woke up in the middle of the night screaming, kinda expected to have found the »surprise« sooner. Was awaiting punishment, however she only chatted with Cheeseguy – whatta letdown…

Master kinda stressed after the talk with Cheeseguy, might not be because of poop after all, felt kinda bad... Went to sleep by her side - growled in Cheeseguy's direction before doing so (the way he's looking at her he's definitely after Master's unmentionables)

Modifié par Mesecina, 10 décembre 2009 - 08:58 .

[Adria Teksuni]

*much giggleage*

[mousestalker]

The Nug Diaries

Day 432

I was rudely awoken from my plans for world domination by a short portly monkey. I was kidnapped by him at the behest of a taller monkey. The tall monkey apparently feared me so transferred me to the custody of a tall red monkey. Will have to see what they have planned.

One of the group is a short red monkey. He keeps looking at me funny. Perv.

Day 433

The tall red monkey insists on holding me close to her body. Doubtless she thinks that periodically restraining me will break me. Ha!

Day 434

There are two interesting non-monkeys in the party. One is a giant moving rock. The other is a large carnivore. The carnivore seems intelligent. Must enlist him as one of my minions.

Modifié par mousestalker, 10 décembre 2009 - 08:28 .

[lv12medic]

Diary of Redcliffe's Blackstone Irregulars Liason

Day 72:  Arrived in Redcliffe, apparently the whole town was getting attacked by monsters last night.  Wish I got here sooner, could have made a sweet security contract.  Commission could have gotten me a better posting.  Oh well.

Day 73:  They told me to watch the sack with the mission notes in it.  Why did they have to put it in front of the Chantry?  Not only do I have to compete with the Chantry board posting, but I have to listen to the dumb chanter yabbing on about the Chant of Light or something.  Getting quite annoying.

Day 74:  A Grey Warden came up to me looking for work.  I let them take some of the mission notes.  Saw one by accident, and what the hell.  I get paid like 10 silver for this job and they pay people who aren't even in the Irregulars like 5 soverigns for tracking down some deserters?  I feel like I'm getting ripped off.  Also, chanter guy is getting more on my nerves.  Met the barmaid though, nice lady.

Day 76: Decided to take the day off yesterday, since there was no new postings added to the sack.  Who puts them in there anyways?  Ah well, did something stupid at the Tavern.  Tried to show off to the barmaid and got into a drinking contest with the Dwarf, Dwyn or something is his name.  Note to self, never try to outdrink a dwarf.  An elf maybe.  Ended up with a horrible hangover.  Now the chanter guy is 10 times more annoying.

[Adria Teksuni]

Ended up with a horrible hangover. Now the chanter guy is 10 times more annoying.

I lawled.

[Hazelthorne]

(A brief sample from Morrigan's Journal)

Day 1-50: I disapprove.

Day 55:  Mother was right, making nasty comments and being half-naked do result in having to do less work.

Day 75:  Sucess!  I have seduced the leader.  As in keeping with human custom I put underwear on for the occasion.

Modifié par Hazelthorne, 12 décembre 2009 - 10:09 .

[Zenon]

I really loved also these lines of Alistair's secret diary:



"Brought subject of repetitive nonsense up to High Reverend Priestess Mother Chick.



Chantry does have dog cages. Who knew?"



Thinking of creating some diary entries myself with this inspiration. I'll think of something. Will be interesting to see how you like it, since English's not my mother tongue.

[Zenon]

Got a bit long, but hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing it. Feedback appreciated.

Leliana:

Day 1: Got caught pick-pocketing some fat, rich noble. Should train better with cutting pouches, so next time only cut leather string holding damned pouch and not victim's arse. Was that man's fault. How can one get such big butt in the first place? Guards put me in prison. Cold air, no warm fire, wet floor. Gonna catch cold, if being made to stay here much longer.

Day 2: Begged guard for food. Need some meat between my teeth, but that bastard only gave me some old bread and stale water. Perhaps I could seduce him to get out? Looked closer at guard. Scratch that thought! Guard has too much face hair and stinks.

Day 5: Seems my thief buddy wasn't reliable at all. Should have contacted me by now on how to bail me out of this smelly cold cesspit. Later heard he got caught climbing the prison wall and impaled... not by guard, but slipping off the wall falling into spikes of wooden fence. Idiot! Had told him before not to climb rock walls on rainy days without rope.

Hey, the guard changed. The old smelly unshaven guy didn't come to drop off my dry bread. Instead a younger guy gave me some extra water and an apple. Learned old guy got bitten by spiders outside of village and poisoned to death. Lucky me. Young guard's looks not too shabby. I think he's horny. Kept staring at my boobies.

Day 6: Young guard came to bring food and apple again. Leaned towards the iron bars keeping one iron between my boobs to make them show off even more through my thin prisoner rags. He blushed. How cute! Whispered he could have me, if he came in. He looked around suspiciously and opened door. Took off my top and told him to take off his armor. Horny men are so easily manipulated. Go me!

The guy was not bad. Three times. Had to put my hand guy's mouth to keep activity unnoticed. Guard was so exhausted afterwards... fell asleep naked on the cold floor. Time to switch clothes. Strangely armor seems to adapt to my figure well enough. Good for me.

Day 7: Blood and damnation! Got caught pickpocketing again. Should have taken off metal armor first to avoid noise. Ran away. After two corners bumped into a guard. This village is too small. Got stopped by young guy from my prison adventure. Tried to talk myself out of it. Learned he was a templar. Wouldn't let me go, but brought me into Chantry as future lay sister instead of prison... for some little attention every once in a while.
Templar-guard completely fell for me. Go my boobies!

Day 8: Chantry not bad. Robes a bit out of fashion but much nicer to my skin than previous guard's full metal armor. Even got to take hot bath. The elder insisted. Probably because sorry me had to sleep in prison cell without toilet for days before.

Day 10: Templar guy came to visit me. Looked sad. Said relationships with lay sisters were taboo. Didn't want me get kicked out again and flagolated. Guess his qualities completely physical, since he should have known beforehand. Is ok with me. Templar guy knows only one position anyway. Wanted my unmentionables as love gift. How cute. Slapped that perv's face.

Day 72: Had to memorize Chant of Light. Was busy picking locks of other's chests and closets in free time. Wanted to learn more about them or read some dirty letters at least. Most chantry guys too harmless and boring. Should try to seduce that young templar again for a change. The danger of getting caught... ooohhh wouldn't that be a thrill. Go me!

Day 75: Templar was stubborn. Loves his job more than quality time. That jerk! Told him to screw himself then. He was all flaky anyway. Hissed he needs lyrium, but out of stock because of blight. Muttered also about king leading battles against Darkspawn. Asked him about it. Ugly abominations pouring out of old deep roads. Me got all wound up and had nightmares.

Day 78: Dreamt of a big Darkness all around us, again. Fell down a bottomless cave, again. All the sudden this time something caught me. Felt secure, loved as if caught in huge, soft warm hand. This must be the maker's hand. He loves me! There is hope against darkness. Told elder about my story. These blasphemists didn't believe me. I shall leave the Chantry to find my destiny spreading hope among people.

Day 80: Elder mother of Chantry didn't scold me for wanting to leave them. The priests looked disappointed, must have been because me be cutest and most sexy lay sister they saw in their boring lives. Go me! But chantry leader seemed relieved. Guess now the priests have less difficulty getting up early to prepare their services.

Day 81: Army arrived. Quite small I'd say. King is missing. That may make up a good story one day. Actually I prefer happy endings, but quite a few people seem to relish the bad news and tragic stories more.

Some gossips whisper, Teyrn Loghain abandoned the king. That bastard! Loghain of course! Gossip probably right about this low born menacing dude groping for the throne. But admire a little the ambition nevertheless.

Day 82: Heard battle at Ostagar went bad. Some Loghain brass stayed at the inn after army continued their trip to Denerim. Seargent of group begun spreading the story, king got himself killed and Loghain managed to save important part of army from utter annihilation. Supposedly Grey Wardens pulled off some sinister scheme to betray the king and plunge Ferelden in chaos.
Sounds like hogwash to me. Shouldn't have said aloud. People glared at me. Seems commoners like Loghain, the big hero. How glorious?!

Day 85: A small group entered inn. Some handsome guy being head of group. Had a cute templar with him, too. And another young woman in loose robes. Impressive she didn't catch cold wearing that little. Fierce Mabari doggy entered the inn, too. Should stay out of the inn! Tend to pee into corners. Blerk!

Seargent screamed murder at them suspecting Grey Wardens. This time they were Grey Wardens, indeed!
Stupid of them to admit it. Or very bold! This is my call to help against Blight!! Stepped in to help. Grey Warden looks good, but wears robe of the Circle. Soldiers seem to have gotten their skulls cracked hard in Ostagar to attack... got their butts kicked... actually FROZEN  badly. Go magic! Robe is spattered with blood after I cut one soldier's neck with hidden dagger. I love wide sleeves! Grey Warden was nice. Spared injured seargent and made him run to tell Loghain he'd be next.

Tried to convince Grey Warden to join him. Conversations with templars are easier. Was suspicious about my
vision. Let me join his group anyway. Told me one day he'd want to know my real reason. Guess my boobies did the persuasion job done in the end. Go me sexiness! As if wanting to help was not good reason. Other woman may become competition. I trust me bigger boobies though...
:innocent:

(edit) fixed the line breaks. slightly edited text

Modifié par Zenon, 11 décembre 2009 - 01:38 .

[Jayce]

TeenZombie wrote...

Kanner wrote...

Ripping off Cassandra Clare's legolas anyways. =P

Someone is doing a homage to a parody, which is the work of the most shameless plagiarist ever?  Alert the media!!!

These are hysterical, keep them coming.  Poor, innocent Alistair. 

First I've heard of this... mind you, I never read much fanfic. Can't say I'm suprised at the claims of Plagiarism, though. I noted from being emailed the Very Secret Diaries years ago that Cassandra Clair borrowed very heavily from Sue Townsend's The Secret Diaries of Adrian Mole.

Still that doesn't take from this. More please!

Modifié par Jayce F, 11 décembre 2009 - 03:05 .

[totertot]

Wonderful! Can we do Bann Teagan with the line, "Still not Arl yet"?

[smore006]

Mesecina wrote...
Wha-, wait?!
Was stunned finding out the Ear-tearing Fiend is coming along plus wait for it…
I have to go out ALONE and HUNT for dinner!!!! WTF?! I mean WTF?! Whenever did I actually catch anything?! FFS we lived in a f**** castle like 5 f**** days ago, was forbidden to even hunt for cats (curse them) and now I'm supposed to CATCH A F**** DINNER?!
Now this is where I draw the line!!!!!!!!!! This calls for poop in sleeping bag.

This. Is. Priceless.  
*co-workers staring at me*

[Lotion Soronarr]

Zenon wrote...
Other woman may become competition. I trust me bigger boobies though...
:innocent:

LOL...good one.

[DarkSpiral]

I have a friend that loves to refer to situations where someone ends up with a drink up their nose as a "snarf-and-burn."



Well, I have been a victim of a snarf-and-burn. Some of this stuff is made of gold.

[Randy1012]

The Very Secret (and Glorious) Diaries of King Cailan

Day 1: Arrived in Redcliffe. Dullsville. Met strangely familiar stableboy. Spent rest of day looking at glorious swords.

Day 15: Betrothed to Anora. WTF? V. ugly. My hair better than hers. Can't see her as queen.

Day 34: Anora starting to look strangely hot. Confused by this. Once tried examining more closely, but scared off by Loghain.

Day 52: Wedding day. Will look glorious in custom armor. Anora's hair better than mine. V. upsetting.

Day 53: Lame wedding night. Anora not good at playing griffon to my glorious Grey Warden. Possibly cold fish.

Day 59: Visited by Grey Warden named Duncan. Rugged smile confusing and thrilling at same time. Must be Grey Warden charisma.

Day 61: Father lost at sea. King Cailan FTW. Hope own death more glorious.

Day 65: Loghain v. upset about Father's death. Giving me strange looks now. Mentioned yesterday how much I looked like Father. V. disturbing.

Day 67: Anora taking over job. Looks more kingly than me. Not sure if good thing. Loghain still giving weird looks, but prob. nothing.

Day 73: Darkspawn in south. Finally! Tried to ride off immediately, but stopped by Anora. Frigid bint won't let me have any fun.

Day 76: Traveling to Ostagar with Loghain. Left Anora in Denerim so can't get in way anymore. Making plans with Loghain for glorious battle.

Day 78: Grey Wardens arrived. Best. Day. Ever. No Duncan though. Not cool. Maybe here tomorrow? Will stand watch to see.

Day 79: Met strange Grey Warden today. Felt like he knew me. Looks like a ponce. Terrible hair. Maybe just Wardens' cook?

Day 80: Duncan finally here. Stayed up three days straight so could give royal welcome, but brought hottie from Highever along. Left in hurry. V. embarrassing.

Day 81: Loghain not happy w/ Duncan. Not sure why. Had bad attitude since arrived at Ostagar. Maybe indigestion? Prob. ate whiny Grey Warden's cooking.
 
Day 82: Sending whiner to Tower on suicide run for poisoning Loghain. Sending Highever hottie too so Duncan fights w/ me.

Day 83: Time for battle! So happy. Starting to get itchy in armor. Can't find zipper. Hair still awesome though. Will have Duncan by side. Armor suddenly v. tight. Will have hard time sleeping.

Day 84: Battle v. disappointing. Loghain left. Prob. had signals confused. Hope Highever hottie and whiny ponce with bad hair dead. Crushed by ogre. V. painful. Dying w/ Duncan by side. Way more glorious death than Father's.

Modifié par Randy1083, 11 décembre 2009 - 08:15 .

[th3warr1or]

Rofl I loved this part:



"Loghain not hot, but can see possible former hotness."

[Mesecina]

Love the new entries
Zenon just one thing if I may: it would be kinda cool if the Warden in Lel diaries would be Rox (female noble from Adria's diaries) so that one gets the feeling of party actually adventuring together. Of course that's just my thought...
Anyways well done

[Zenon]

Mesecina wrote...

Love the new entries
Zenon just one thing if I may: it would be kinda cool if the Warden in Lel diaries would be Rox (female noble from Adria's diaries) so that one gets the feeling of party actually adventuring together. Of course that's just my thought...
Anyways well done

Thanks for the feedback. I first had my main (male human mage) in mind to set up a competition between Leliana and Morrigan. Perhaps I'll do another Roxy version, if Adria approves. Didn't want to use her character to add my kind of diary fantasy. 

In fact I'm kind of itching more to think of a diary featuring Sandal or even more Shale.

P.S.: Enchantment!

[Mesecina]

@Zenon: Point taken, just thought it could get confusing if we bring too many Wardens in the picture

Would love to see Sandal

[rayvioletta]

day 1: Enchantment!

day 2: Enchantment?

day 3: Enchantment!

day 4: went for walk. Enchantment!

day 5: told off for enchanting all the weapons in stock. Enchantment!

day 6: discovered World of Warcraft. have to be level 5 to take up enchanting. quit game in rage. Enchantment!

day 7: went to Lothering. people too poor to afford Enchantment!

day 8: left Lothering. met Darkspawn. they didn't want Enchantment! before I could kill them all a Grey Warden slaughtered them. tried to Enchant corpse. failed. Enchantment?

day 9: spent night at Grey Warden camp. watched Morrigan get undressed, Enchanting! she heard me but thought it was Alistair and yelled at him. Warden bought Enchantments! best day ever!

day 10: Warden wandered off, hope comes back with new weapons for Enchantments!

day 11: stole Lyrium from Morrigan's tent. Enchaaaaaaaaantment!

[Zenon]

Hi again! Decided to make a bigger Sandal diary with more story. Hope you have an enchanted time.



Sandal:

Day1: Good I put a lyrium crystal in daddy's axe yesterday. Dad was
surprised when found out. Mentioned never seen such perfect rune.
What is a rune? Mommy said I had talent for enchanting. That's what I
did? My head aches.

Day 2: Heard horrible noises from tunnels. Mommy told me not to look.
Went anyway. Saw ugly creatures. Seems they walk towards us. Need to
tell mommy.

Day 3: Got spanked and scolded for sneaking away. Mommy and daddy don't
listen to monster warning. Think they act stupid. Sulking.

Day 4: Mommy and Daddy made me hide in a gap between rocks in our cave.
Those ugly stinking monsters rushed in. Mommy screamed, Daddy chopped
some down with his axe. Good I did this lyriment thingy, incentive,
enhancement, or what did mommy name it again? Too much screaming.
Holding ears shut with hands and eyes closed. Head hurts. World went
black.

Day 5: I'm alone. I'm scared. Mommy will pick me up, when everything is
ok.

Day 6: Mommy told me she'd come back. Where are mommy and daddy? Hearing
some suspicious noises. Am hungry, but not dare leave hiding place.

Day 7: Still hiding. Suddenly other dwarf came in. Looks a little like
daddy. Had to sneeze from dust. Got caught, dumb me.

Day 8: Dwarf told me he helps me find mommy. Said name was Bodahn. I call
him Boda. Good enough. Has more axes than dad, but without lyrium.
Not sparkle so nicely.

Day 9: Mommy still gone. Found some pretty lyrium crystal. Got bored and
put some in other dwarf's axe. Now looks pretty.

Day 10: Dwarf surprised about what I did. WTF... anyone can do this. Soo
easy! Went to loud big city named Orhammer or something. Got taken to
house with much hot iron. Noise is unbearable. Got headache again.
Some dwarf hammering metal trying to slam lyrium crystal in metal.
Why he needs hammer for that? I can do it with my hands. Me thinks
smith not smart.

Day 11: Got my hands bandaged after touching glowing iron. They should
have told me. Never had hot axe at home. Only hot pan from mommy. Had
put fire lyrium in it, so cooking was easy. Forgot pan at home
though. Sad. Helped idiot smith when he took break hammering. Put
some lyrium in axe before they pulled me away. Dwarf with hammer
gasped something like most beautiful rune and perfect enchantment.
ENCHANTMENT! That's what mommy said! I'm loving it!

Day 12: Dwarf, who piked me up in cave told me mommy and daddy not come
back. He would be my daddy now. I think he's lying. Does he think me
dumb?

Day 14: Bodahn nice to me. Gives me food and lets me play. His eyes seem
glistening as talking about making a lot of gold with my talent. I got a tear in my
eyes as well. So nice of him. Poor mommy. Please come back!

Day 15: I wonder why Boda likes gold and silver so much? Lyrium crystals
much prettier. Calling him dad now to make him happy... easier than Boda.

Day 29: City not that great. Not much lyrium around. Got caught borrowing
some to make enchantment. Some dwarf came in saying I stole lyrium.
Dad defended me. When angry dwarf gone told me to only enchant after
he sais ok. Acts like he was my dad for real. Boring.

Day 350: Mommy very, very long gone. Perhaps story true about monsters
eating dwarves. Stories only to scare children for sure. Mommy is tough!

Day 375: Boda dad sais mommy and old daddy went into stone. Like I put
lyrium in metal with enchantment. Looks sooo pretty. Lyrium must be
happy. Mommy in stone should be happy too, me thinks. Decided to stay
with Boda dad until parents come back from stone. Boda sais not come
back for my life. Cried, but new dad comfort me. Promised me to let
me do more enchantment. He so nice to me.

Day 380: Some woman in pretty clothes came to dad's shop. Woman saw some
pretty bracers, but wanted to steal without paying. Lots of screaming
between her and dad. Got bad headache again. More dwarves with armor
came. Took screaming dwarf away. One dwarf with metal all over him stayed.

Day 381: Dad gave other dwarf with strong armor some gold. Told me to
leave city together. Finally.

Day 382: Came out of city into a huge humongous gigantico cave yesterday.
I can't see the rock above. Dad sais no ceiling here. He must be mad.

Day 408: Walked long way east. Dad said he want open new shop in human
city. Big city, big gold he sais. Called Denerim.

Day 414: Reached Denerim. Not many dwarves. Dad started selling collected
stuff at market.

Day 420: Dad met other dwarf. Little similar to mommy. We may move in her
rooms. Said I could call her mommy. Friendly, but stupid bi*** seems to think
she can deceive me.

Day 750: News about war against monsters. Dad wants to go to pick up
stuff from people dropping not longer needed items. Me want go out of
city again. Must find way to punish monsters for taking away real mommy.

Day 778: Entered human village. People trade with dad. Was allowed to do
one enchantment. Go me! Rumors of battle. Dad sais we need to move
after battle.

Day 790: Took off towards south. Finally some action. News of battles
were good. At least dad sais so. Saw fire on top of tower at horizon.
Suddenly huge bird land on tower and leave again. Told dad. But he
not believe. He still nice, but maybe a little crazy. Keeps telling
me things like such huge birds were fairy tales, when they're not.
WTF, they think me dumb or what?

Day 801: Reached place with many bodies lie around. Dad sais name is
Oskar... or something similar. Told me to help him collect nice
stuff. People lying around here don't need stuff anymore. Dad sais
they dead. Found a few shiny nice lyrium items. Dad very happy.

Day 805: Entered place with living people again. Suddenly so many more
people here. Maybe breed fast like Dark Stalkers? Starting to get headache.
Many those people unhappy. Why they not leave place, when unhappy? Dad
left city with me and is happy. Especially after finding nice items.

Day 806: People didn't want to buy from dad anymore. Heard they want bread,
not steel. Dad said we move on tomorrow. Dad sais people here have no
gold and no good items. Waste of time.

Day 807: Leaving settlement. Ran into ugly monsters. Dad Boda not fight
like first dad of Deep Roads. Merchant don't fight he explained
later, first dad must be warrior. Was afraid monsters eat us, because
of defenseless merchant dad. Perhaps should try to enchant warrior in him.

Before getting eaten a group of humans arrived. Humans could fight well.
Monsters dead. Dad happy. Human must be warrior caste. Dad said we
want to travel together now.

Day 808: Dad got asked where me from. Deep Road sounds familiar. Forgot
so much. But lyrium is there. Much more than here. I miss lyrium
sparkle over my head before falling asleep. Here sometimes tiny
lights sparkle from above, too. Lyrium of ceiling here must be so far away.

Day 809: This Gay Wodden likes enchantment. YAY! Finally I can play with
lyrium again. Dad sais not call human Gay. Need to practice, so human
not angry and let me play more often.

Day 810: Gray Warden came to me again. I greeted him: "Enchantment?" Answer
was positive! I should ask that every time now, so human understands me better.
"ENCHANTMENT!"


(edit) Adjusted post a bit to improve readability. Editor not very copy & paste friendly.

Modifié par Zenon, 11 décembre 2009 - 04:08 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

lol all of them are great. Someone should do a Loghain one, with lots of "I hate Orlais".

[Adria Teksuni]

Loghain and Teagan are in the works, as is Morrigan, but if someone posts something here, I'll just stick them in my blog.  Why oh why must real life intrude so?

Teaser for Morrigan:

Day 1:  Mother instructed me on the ways of men.  What goes where?! O.o

Modifié par Adria Teksuni, 11 décembre 2009 - 04:23 .

[heretica]

Oh god i can't wait to read Loghain's!!!!!

[Xyan]

Woah.. this is funny stuff!! Thank you. Great read.. I was looking for pillow fights though.. missed it.