Garrus Vakarian jokes

#1
Soaringeagle78

Posté 09 mai 2012 - 01:53

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393 messages

They're like Chuck Norris jokes... only better;)

Every night, Harbinger checks his closet for Garrus Vakarian.

Garrus once walked down a street without a shirt... there were no survivors.

When Garrus had to have surgery to cure a gunship wound to the face, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Post your own!

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#2
Lokiwithrope

Posté 09 mai 2012 - 04:15

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4 394 messages

Any weapon Garrus uses automatically has the power of Garrus Vakarian.
Garrus' daily diet consists of three full servings of blood, sweet and tears.
Garrus' sniper rifle had max stats at Level I.
Garrus does not walk the Line. The Line moves for Him.
Garrus doesn't need four balls to prove He's better than the Krogan.
Garrus dosen't need use a penetrating mod to shoot through walls. He scares the bullets into going fast enough.
Garrus has a Thresher Maw in a trophy case in His house. The maw isn't dead... it's just too afraid to move.
Garrus once had a pet sunflower. That sunflower became the Thorian.
Garrus once amputated a Vorcha's arm; the cells in his arm are too afraid to grow back.
Garrus once threw a merc into a bottomless pit. The merc hit the bottom.
If Garrus ever became a Reaper, He would need His own body.
Marauder Shields was actually Garrus' long-lost brother.
Not even the species barrier stops Garrus from having what He wants.

Modifié par Lokiwithrope, 09 mai 2012 - 04:49 .

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#3
forthary

Posté 09 mai 2012 - 04:31

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2 292 messages

Garrus watched 'The Terminator' once. That same day, a shuttle crashed into the front of the c-sec headquarters. Nobody knows who did it, because all the witnesses were eliminated.

Garrus does not use any type of lubrication when performing various types of calibrations.

Garrus bit Shepard once. That same day, one of his mandibles went missing.

Shepard turned the temperature of his room down to 20 degrees Fahrenheit once. When Garrus went missing, the crew searched for him only to find him encased in a ice cube in his quarters.

Garrus walked on a beach once and people ran away shortly afterwards because they thought a velocoraptor was running loose.