It's been far too long since the last story update, and for that, I am truly sorry. I have about half of the next chapter done, but things have slowed to a crawl of late. In fact, since March I've been struggling to get much writing done at all.
I won't go into too much detail, but this is mostly work related. Basically one of my co-workers left the company I work for only to try and set up his own business in opposition, after which several years worth of schemes have come to light, such as junior members of staff trained wrongly, a lot of missing stuff, customers directed away from us right on our shop floor and suppliers convinced to no longer work with us. Because of all of this, I've had to shuttle back and forth between our two branches (on pretty much opposite sides of the country) on a more or less fortnightly basis. Aside from being a serious drain on my resources which I have to compensate for, this is a huge drain on my time and energy, plus it kind of makes it difficult to get into the right mindset for writing, as its pretty hard to focus when you keep getting told about things that just cheese you off. Anyway, its finally reached the point where I'm permanently moving to the branch this guy left so that I can attend to the problems with more time and money to do so. This means I'm moving house over the next couple of months, and then hopefully my life will gain some kind of balance once more, allowing me to increase my output to something approaching previous levels.
But at the same time, that's not the only reason my writing's been affected over the past six or seven months. When you look at it, between December 2010 and March 2012, I wrote forty-three chapters. From March until now, I've written five chapters. That's almost a fifth of the output, a huge drop. And the main reason for that lies with ME3. I still haven't quite gotten over my disappointment with this franchise. ME3 fell short in so many areas, excelling only in the areas that don't appeal to my demographic such as fluid combat, big cinematic scenes (which can't really offer player input), and hollow, forced drama.
ME1 and 2 offered such an amazing experience, in my opinion. They did more than tell a story (Which they had to. I mean, let's face it, their plot was hardly anything inspired). They made me a part of the in-game universe. I was the goddamn Commander Shepard. What he felt, I felt. What he said, I echoed. What he chose, I chose. And I went into ME3 with a huge mixture of emotions. I was excited to end the story, see how I got to kick some Reaper tail. I was angry with the Reapers for all of the losses I had already endured (my first Shepard lost Ashley, Mordin, and Grunt through Virmire and the SM, respectively). But most of all, I was worried. I had made a number of choices in keeping with my own set of principles, and I thought that any one of those could cost me dearly in the climax of the series. And that's what made it so powerful for me. I thought that I could genuinely be screwed from the first moment of the game if I did things a certain way, but it was all MY experience, my consequences. ME3 completely failed to deliver anything resembling meaningful consequence. Instead it chose to focus on spectacle, drama and pseudo-philosophy. ME1 and 2 are like The old Transformers stuff from G1; Good fun, maybe not the meatiest messages to them, but still a hell of a ride. ME3 is like the Michael Bay films; Completely lacking in substance in exchange for big explosions, childish jokes and forced storylines. While the first two made me a part of the universe, ME3 had me feeling like I was watching the events unfold from outside of them, outside of the building, standing in the cold, looking in through a grimy window.
The characters that mattered to me, those I had been literally feeling a knot of anxiety in my belly for when I did the SM, were sidelined in a cheap fashion that left me unable to care about their fate this time around. what material we did get with them was so out of keeping with their characters that the restructured writing team was plain for all to see. Characters are Bioware's greatest strength, and they completely ballsed it up in order to promote the meathead, the sexbot, and the developer's pet.
This just.... *sighs*... I could really go on for hours. And the fact that I still feel this way after such a long time shows how much of a grip this franchise had on me. I thought this was a crucial point in gaming, the definition of a new genre of interdependent games whose gameplay and storyline altered from player to player, a newer, more advanced form of RPG. I thought it would help to further video games as a medium and an artform. Instead we get mindless, mediocre summer blockbuster-style material with no substance, where the only choice that has an impact is playing the game to be disappointed or not touching it in order to save yourself the bother.
ME3 has robbed me entirely of my enthusiasm for this franchise. Every time Bioware announces something else to push their shoddy product, I can do nothing but curse, choking on my own bitterness over the experience. And I think this is a shame, because I still love everything else Bioware have produced. KOTOR was my first video game, and still ranks in my top five (alongside ME1&2, Shadow of the Colossus, Minecraft, and the Portal games), ME2 is by far the most rewarding game I have ever played, and I bought Jade Empire over the summer, thoroughly enjoying it. Heck, I even still play TOR, though I think the stories are spread too thinly over fifty levels of grind, but I still find them enjoyable and love every companion character. Bioware can make good games, but they let their arrogance and overconfidence poison their crown jewel, the ME franchise.
This is my biggest obstacle to continuing this story. I just.... every time I think about ME, all I can feel is disappointment. Its very hard to find your muse in that. I can't even describe it as apathy, because I still care about this franchise, damnit. Occasionally I fell a swell of 'No, don't let it end like this!' and I just have to write on, but that's not a constant source of motivation. I think if I didn't already have the plot points of every chapter worked out, including some scenes I really want to write, then I'd have already given up on ITU. Working on 'what could have been' is very draining.
But I won't stop. I refuse to let Bioware win here. ME3 could have been a powerful story while still taking our choices into account, and I plan to show that. I'll keep writing. Just.... please have patience with me as I push on. I'll get to the endgame, even if it takes me another two years.
Moving to another matter, I feel like I need something non ME-related. As mentioned above, I've been playing other games of late, foremost of those being TOR. Playing this game has immersed me in a universe that.... I kind of moved away from with the discovery of Mass Effect. Star Wars was one of my great passions when I was younger, with KOTOR probably providing my single most emotionally powerful gaming experience. I still have an extensive SW book collection, and I used to run SW RPGs for a group of my friends. Anyway, about nine years ago (a couple of months after finishing KOTOR for the first time), I sat down for about eight months and wrote a Star Wars novel. I originally planned a trilogy, but after realising it had no hope of being published, I stopped writing, only ever completing the first installment. I still have my original manuscript to this day, although the digital copies have long since been lost to computer brain farts and one memory stick going through the washing machine.
What I'm asking is, would anyone like to read this if I tweaked the wording a bit, tarted it up to my current writing standards, reworked some of the plot to fit with the current continuity? Its currently sitting at seventy five thousand words, so its not that daunting of a task for me these days. I realise that its a distraction from ITU, but I feel like I need one of those from time to time.
Let me know what you think, and as soon as I have some spare time I'll get to writing some more ITU.
Fainmaca Out.