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[Druts]

I was kind of bummed out by the
bleakness of the 3 ending options, anybody else have an alternative
ending they wished happened?  Here's mine.

<After then final battle Allistair, Zev, Sten, Wynn,
Shale, Lelianna, Ohgren Warden hanging out at the Gnawed Noble in Denerim>

Alistair: Not that I’m complaining, but I thought Riordan
said one of us needed to to defeat the Arch-demon.  I thought it was decided you were going to
make the final sacrifice.

Warden: I was wondering that too, ummm… Alistair did
Morrigan approach you in the middle of the night… I didn’t tell you, but she
said there was a ritual Flemeth taught her, where a child bearing the taint
would act like beacon for the Old god’s soul.

Alistair: Maker’s breath! 
Certainly not!

<Morrigan stroll out of the restroom, slightly shocked to
see the group there.>

Morrigan: Oh, didn’t expect you here... awkward… Well, Warden, I’ll be
going now, thanks for the grimoire, the golden mirror, the bracelet, another second
golden mirror, not sure why you gave me a veal bone, but thanks for everything,
yadda, yadda, yadda.  Don’t follow me now,
I’m off to uncharted lands, a farscape so far it’s literally at the gate of
stars…. So don’t follow until a sequel is made, no offense, It’s not you, it’s
me….

Warden: Morrigan, wait… how… How did we survive?

Morrigan: I am with child, you need know nothing more.

Alistair: Riordan is dead, Loghraine is dead. Who is the
father, it wasn’t me or , who else drank the darkspawn
blood and survived, this doesn’t make sense, Morrigan explai—

Warden: OMG, you… Morrigan… you didn’t… you…

Alistair: Wait a minute, the Mabari drank darkspawn blood?


Warden: You seduced my pooch! Did you drug his Mabari doublecrunch,
I swear if you hurt , I’ll….

Alistair: you sly shape-shifter you….Turned
into a dog did you?  Haha.. I always knew deep
down you were a ****.  Good to know you
revealed your true form.  How was it? Did
he cuddle afterwards, or just roll over and play dead.

Morrigan: Listen virgin, I’m sure you are curious about the
mechanics, But I don’t need to explain myself to you.

Alistair: Hey, I’m not a virgin.

Morrigan: Zevran doesn’t count, he slept with everyone here, and half of Thedas.

Lelianna: My love, is this true? This
reminds me of an old Elvish song an old elf taught me…

<Orchestra starts, Lelianna stands up, has a glazed look
in her eyes and prepares to sing>

Oghren: Yo Lelianna, I'm really sad for you, Imma gonna let you finish, But I just wanted to
ask, Zevran did you sleep with everyone? I mean maybe I was drunk at the time, but
everyone? Wynne… you too?

Zevran: Hey what can I say, who can resist
this ridiculous accent.  Additionally, I
like MILFs, Mages I like to F-

<Wynn cast a glyph of paralysis on Zevran to silence
him>

Wynne: Well… I haven’t been a man in a while…

Sten: Parshaara… Zevran, you are a man?  How could you? I let you…

<Cut to scene of Sten vomiting in the washroom with “The Crying
game” song playing in the background>

Lelianna: As I was
going to tell you in Elvin song before I was interrupted <glares at
Oghren>, Warden it’s either him or me! By Andraste’s ashes, no amount of “hardening”
dialog options is getting you out of this…

Warden: Errr… you my dear, I’ll just go fishing with Zevran every
once in a while at Frostback Mountains…

Zevran: , why can't I quit you.


Lelianna: I tried to be merciful! <cast below the belt on
Warden>



Shale: Pigeon crap, just because I’m downloadable content,
doesn’t
mean I shouldn’t have any lines in this alternate ending.  Why am I in
this franchise? I much rather be hanging with Commander Shepard, no
damn birds in space.

Just kidding Bioware, your endings were awesome!../../../images/forum/emoticons/grin.png

Modifié par Druts, 09 décembre 2009 - 02:13 .