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[The RPGenius]

Wow, it's been a while.



Ryncol Light Presents

Real Beings of Genius

[REAL BEINGS OF GEEENIUS]

Today we salute you, Mr. Roly-Poly Rambo!

[MR. ROLY-POLY RAAAAAAMBO!]

You're gonna show these Krogan sissies what a REAL frontal assault looks like.  It's time to get the ball rolling--and as a Volus Engineer holding a shotgun roughly a third his own body mass, that ball is you.

[SHEPARD AIN'T AROUND TO PUSH ME THIIIIIS TIME!]

Support role?  You?  They must be joking.  No one told the Death Star to only concentrate on healing just because it was round, did they?  No, you didn't think so.  That's why you wisely specced out of that wussy shield crap and went all out on mines, weapon damage, and melee boosts.  You know you'll be fine, as long as you don't get hit by one single Swarmer.  But it's a small risk to take for the chance to give your attacks every last bit of oomph you can.

[GUYS WHY CAAAAAAAN'T I MELEE ANYTHING?]

Like a gun-toting satellite of pure rageful destruction, you orbit around your targets again and again, whittling their health down one bar at a time as your Consumables stock dwindles down to nothing on the first wave.  But that's just how it's gotta be--a badass like you likes things up close and personal, which works out great, because that's how you'll be with your teammates after they revive you for the tenth time in as many seconds.  Up, Down, Up, Down, all that matters is that you manage to get off a single shot before each collapse.

[IT'S LIKE THEY'RE DRIIIIBBLING ME!]

So
crack open a Ryncol Light, you diminutive dealer of destruction.  Going toe-to-toe with a Geth Prime takes some serious cajones, but buddy, you're all ball.

[MR. ROLY-POLY  RAAAAAAMBOOOOO!]

[darkpassenger2342]

i did not know this thread existed, thank you all this is hilarious.

[objectivemonkey14]

Not sure if anyone has done this one, so I'll take a stab at it:

Rycol Lite Presents

Real Beings of Genius

[Real Beings of Geniuuus]

Today we salute you, Mr. Trusty Sidekick Shield Boost Spammer Guy

[Mr. Trusty Sidekick Shield Boost Spammer Guy]

Armed with your Shikuren X and the aggression of a consciensous objector, you cling to that Krogan Soldier's shadow, dutifully topping off his shields at every chance.

[I'm an Ultra Raaaaare]

Why detonate his Inferno Grenade with a proxy mine when you know the key to offense is a good defence.

[Expooooosions are so scary]

While a proxy or recon mine might have kept that Phantom from impaling your dearest friend, at least he went down with full shields.  

[*kssssk* Contract fulfilled. *kssssk*]

Ever the dutiful spammer, and faced with the grim prospect of having to supersoldier the round, you summon your combat drone & pop open your bubble shield.

[I'm a pet and its myyyy PET!!!!]

So crack open a nice, cold Ryncol Lite, oh Master of Mitigation, because while you look like a ball, you certainly don't have them.

[Mr. Trusty Sidekick Shield Boost Spammer Guy]

[tMc Tallgeese]

@Nova - If I could grant you a Ryncol Light banner (hint hint BW), I certainly would Mr. Week Old Ryncol Light Thread Bumper Guy.

Would love to get some of the BioDevs in here. A round of messages is in order. 

Modifié par tMc Tallgeese, 31 janvier 2013 - 07:15 .

[lazysundae]

I can only assume that "new fun things re: banners" can only mean things discussed in this thread.

BroJo, please?

[DragonRacer]

Hmmm, so, apparently our dear friend tMc Tallgeese has requested this thread be closed in peace.

Came to pay my respects and say goodbye. It was a good thread, gave a lot of laughs. I had a lot of fun contributing to the parody.

Will always remember you, "Ryncol Light presents..." You lived a good life for an old thread.

*pours a Ryncol Light on the ground in memory*

[k1ngl1ves]

Don't close it!!!!!!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Love Runner]

Ryncol Light Presents

Real Beings of Genius

[REAL BEINGS OF GEEENIUS!!]

Today we salute you, Mr. Crumpet-Eating Tea-Drinking Krogan!

[MR. CRUMPET-EATING TEA-DRINKIIIING KROOOOGAAN!!]

As you charge into the battalion, your sophisticated wit gives you nerves of steel that rival the Royal British Guards.

[YOU CALL THAT A FUNNY FACE??!!]

Observing that most of your enemies are naked, you are relieved that your fashion sense trumps their birthday suits.

[I HAVE A TOPHAT!!]

You're never afraid to embrace your British heritage, and to use good old-fashioned fisticuffs to teach those punks a lesson.

[I'M TAKING THE BELT OFF MY TROUSERS!!]

And since your enemies also support the Tea Tax, you have extra incentive to pull off a revolution the galaxy has never seen before.

[I'M FEEDING YOU TO JIMINY!!]

So crack open a nice, cold bottle of Ryncol Light, you good old chap of righteousness!! Because while some may criticize your etiquette, you can rest easy knowing you have a quad of steel.

[MR. CRUMPET-EATING TEA-DRINKIIIING KROOOOGAAN!!]

[FlowCytometry]

resurrecting this for some real special pugs, this goes out to (unfortunately many of) them:

Ryncol Light Presents:

Real Beings of Genius.

[REAL BEINGS OF GEEENIUS!!]

Today we salute you, Mr. Refuses to Medi-gel Guy!

[MR. REFUSES TO MEDI-GEL GUY!!]

As your teammates (or one teammate, likely) was busy burning all they could to miraculously haul your pug to wave 10 vs. Collector Gold on Condor, you merrily watched about half the time or more in spectator mode. What suckers they are, right?

[ROCKING THAT VICARIOUS LIVING, YEAH!!]

Its down to the wire; your heavily burdened teammates are mostly out of resources and only 2 kill targets are left. The only decent player left is at the other end of the map pinned down by lord knows what, while you mash the spacebar and watch the current kill target hover off-screen, likely admiring the garish missile launcher on your back. If only you were alive, you could brag how there's still 5 left in there... and always will be, baby.

[HEY, I'M HOARDING FOR THE 16TH INTERGALACTIC APOCALYPSE!!]

You could gel and actually contribute more than your 25k score's worth, but trying is for elitists. Besides, those other guys got up and finished each time anyways- surely they can pull through again. You have other things to do- after all, Turkish porn won't watch itself.

[PHANTOMS DIG A LOADED GUY!!]

While you and your team enjoys a mission failed at wave 10 screen cause you were the only one with anything left, you can at least take comfort that there's a mute button. Maybe after you get kicked, you'll get a match in scenic Thessia where your corpse can enjoy a tan and while watching an Asari teabag it. Then you can finish off the only consumable you like to use: popcorn.

[*nom* KNT SNG GUYZ, NEEDF MY SATRATED PHATS]

So crack open a nice, cold bottle of Ryncol Light, you waste of a lobby slot! Because someone has give those troopers some practice curb-stomping for the mosh pit at the upcoming Indoctrinated Glorious Bastards concert.

[MR. REFUSES TO MEDI-GEL GUY!!]

Modifié par FlowCytometry, 25 février 2013 - 03:29 .

[Credit2team]

This thread is too good to die...


inb4...

[sr2josh]

KiraTsukasa wrote...

I saw this thread and HOPED it was this. Nice job!

Japanese

[DragonRacer]

You know, if this doesn't get closed due to necro (since apparently it survived OP's request to NinjaStan for a humble closing), I'm gonna try and work on some Reckoning-oriented ones later tonight.

Several of those kits are screaming for a rendition in this, I can tell you that.

[randomjack4201]

LMAO.

[Procrast68]

I miss these commercials

[Rip The Reaper]

Has the Chris rock paradys of those commercials been mentioned inhere? I'd not people are missing out!

[Trogdorx]

Ryncol Light presents:

Real Beings of Genius

[REAL BEINGS OF GENIUS!]

Today we salute you, Bioware Developer Jos Hendriks.

[IT ISN'T BROKEN, BUT FIX IT ANYWAY!]

Only you have the vast reserves of arrogance to notice that many of your customers prefer a different playstyle than you do, and declare this UNACCEPTABLE!

[HERE COMES THE COLLECTOR UPDATE!]

Now, there are more sync-kills, stomps, and enemies specifically designed to make players run around the battlefield like their theme song is Yakkety Sax.

[STRATEGERY!]

As a professional developer, you know that the best way to make more money for your company is to alienate large portions of your playerbase.

[YOUR WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!]

So crack open a nice, cold Ryncol Light, O great gameplay overlord, and rest assured that your map dev co-workers' creations will be fully appreciated as players run backwards through every map fighting off a relentlessly charging enemy horde.

[overlordchin]

Somehow I missed this thread the first time around. It is everything I hoped it would be and more

[DHKany]

For justice.

[Credit2team]

thewalrusx wrote...

This thread is too good to die...


inb4...

necroing this thread again, and necroing myself back on these forums after a 2 (or was it three?) month break

[NuclearTech76]

Awesome thread which should be great reading to some new users on the board.

Which means it will obviously be locked by one of our mods. My bets on 01

[RNG God]

Too good to lose

[tMc Tallgeese]

Wow...can't believe this thread survived the revamp to the BSN.  I may have to start this thread in the Dragon Age Inquisition forum too.  Have a few in mind.

[xBuho]

Ryncol Light presents

Real Beings of Genius

Today we salute you, Mr. Melee Only Juggernaut 

[MISTER MELEE ONLY JUGGERNAUT YEEEAH]

Though it's the most inefficient form of damage you can dish out, you know that your team needs you, to melee

[I'M TOTALLY HELPING]

So here's to you, running around behind your entire team, finally getting to melee that banshee because your team kills everything else before you can make it to it

 

[C'MON GUYS SLOW DOWN PLEEEEASE]

Sure you could fire off a couple of those siege pulses since you know you won't make it all the way over there before the fighting's all over, but then you wouldn't have that damage reduction to protect yourself until you can simply re-summon them

[I SPECCED THEM FOR DEFENCE, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SHOOT THEM]

You're whole team is firing at that Atlas? But what's that? He's firing a missile? Quick thinking, oh great Juggy, it was your quick large-shield deployment that saved the whole team from the atlas missile that might  have dropped their shields

 

[HOW COOL IS THIS SHIELD? TEAM SUPPORT YEAAAHHHH]

 

So crack open a nice, cold Ryncol Light, oh master of enemy distraction and rest assured that without you, your team might have had a squishy Drell or Asari join the team, then who would melee those bosses and block things with their shield? Because the best offense is a good offense, and you're the epitome of defense so who needs damage?

[MISTER MELEE ONLY JUGGERNAUT YEEEAH]

[wufpup76]

This thread is awesome. 

[DragonRacer]

My God.

 

I smelled a necro when I received a notification that someone liked a post I wrote over two years ago.

 

But there is no thread more deserving of reanimation than this one. Brings back memories!