9960 réponses à ce sujet

[fluffywalrus]

gearseffect wrote...

Quick question, when read fanfics do you like it when someone continually clarifies he said, ya know every time someone says something they have to do that whole he said thing?

Because when I write I try and avoid using the whole he said thing as much as possible. If there is some sort of emotion I want to convey with how it's being said I usually try and get creative with how I word the said thing, with things like dryly said, flatly stated, taking charge of things he asked, and so on. Rather then just said.

I've read some fanfics where it has done the said thing a bit too much and I find it off putting. Another way I try and avoid it is if two characters are only present then I maybe have one use the other characters name once, I also do that if character 2 sort of walks into a scene with only character 1 I have one character open by using the other characters name.

Just was wondering what your thought are on that?

Another thing I was wondering was, when you read do you get tired of when there is only one person in the scene and rather then use he or he'd it keeps using the characters name?

I'm fine with someone using a lot of "said" in their fic, as much as I'm fine with someone using "stated/whispered/spoke/mumbled/etc."
I know some people are picky and say the second form disrupts flow, but I generally disagree. Both are fine, so long as the writing is fine.

I think so long as only two characters are present, you don't often need to use it in dialogue. Not to say it isn't helpful, but it's not always necessary.

[gearseffect]

PMC65 wrote...

gearseffect wrote...


Oh cr@p umm I just saw PMC65 post, umm I kinda want to know now if you don't like the feel of my fanfic "Breaking Points" and is it got too much of a dark undertone, and if my Shep's past falls under your thing about Passion of the Christ, because I mean I have my Shep's background as Mindoir and Akuze, and I really haven't go into much detail about those things but I did in Chapter 1 of Breaking Points I did mention that my Shep used to take comfort in the fact that none of those things ever broke him. Heh see titlle "Breaking Points" hint hint somethings gonna go done but will it be able to break him?

Well you'll just have to see when I get there, but I do got stuff planed out.

I'm sorry ... I wasn't meaning that. I can read a Mindoir mixed with Akuze and enjoy it.

What I was referring to is when the writer is continually beating Shepard with no moments of light ... this is normally done just so they can show how tough he is or to explain why he is so ruthless or just because they really want the audience to know their Shepard is "TRAGIC". The problem for me is that life is shades of light and dark. There has to be a balance ... at least for me.

I once started a story that by chapter three Shepard had been a drug addict, male prostitute, pimp, beaten up and left for dead by a rival gang, his arms broken by his surrogate mother, his wife OD'd, his child stolen by abusive surrogate mother ... All within the first three chapters! Not once did Shepard smile, laugh or love ... his wife was a prostitute that he knocked up while high on red sand so he married her ... after she threatened to kill herself if he didn't ... and so on.

I mercifully pretended to shoot him in the head and closed the story. 

*And if this was someone's story ... sorry. But I can't take that much sadness without relief and that poor guy was crying out to be put down. And quickly!  

What do you have that story still? I want to read it, because it sounds like the most f*cked up thing. I would be doubled over laughing at how obsered it was.

[PMC65]

gearseffect wrote...

What do you have that story still? I want to read it, because it sounds like the most f*cked up thing. I would be doubled over laughing at how obsered it was.

It was a story that I found last year ... If my memory serves me it was a MShep & Miranda? Or Ash? I can't remember. All I remember is how that guy was just too miserable and cursed to let live.

[noxiuniversitas1]

PMC65 wrote...

gearseffect wrote...

What do you have that story still? I want to read it, because it sounds like the most f*cked up thing. I would be doubled over laughing at how obsered it was.

It was a story that I found last year ... If my memory serves me it was a MShep & Miranda? Or Ash? I can't remember. All I remember is how that guy was just too miserable and cursed to let live.

It sounds like a horror movie so bad, you laugh.

That said, I think given the setting of the ME series, especially ME3, as well as some of Shepard's background stories, there is a place for darkness in fics.

Some of the stuff I have written is pretty dark (although admittedly I have never explicitly described torture / rape... that's just... physically revolting), but my Shep's answer to that is her own brand of humour which lightens the tone of the whole story. I guess the reason for including dark bits (although they are depressing to pen) is two-fold:

1. Reality. War is ugly. Look at the genocide in Rwanda (not just oh yeah it was genocide, but the horrific things the Tutsis were forced to do to each other...), the brutalities at Abu Grahib... that is in this day and age, never mind other more recent atrocities like the Rape of Nanking etc. There really is no such thing as a purely good person or a bad person. Its just a spectrum with two ends to explore. Can't have a good hero with no flaws, or a villian without motivation. Similarly, no one just fetches up to save the galaxy.

2. Personal experience. I've seen some wonderful things and some horrible things in my line of work. I've had to smile and be civil to people I strongly suspected of abusing their kids - nice, middle class people who "just don't" do that kind of thing. Unfortunately, it happens. If I include it, I try and write it so people can recognise it from a "reality" perspective. No one likes to talk about these things (myself included), but awareness almost matches deterrence in importance when thinking about how to combat crap like that.

Anyway, that's just my two-cents. It's late and bed time

Modifié par noxiuniversitas1, 01 juin 2012 - 04:51 .

[IliyaMoroumetz]

I know the subject's been breached already, but here's a treatise I wrote on my ff.net profile about OCs.

Original Character Treatise:
In fanfiction we place original characters that add our own original flavor to the overall story, and possible theme. However, whenever original characters (OCs) are introduced, a great amount of care must be taken into
consideration. The reason why I say this is because far too many times I have seen 'original' characters that have come out of nowhere and have not only usurped an already established character, but the purpose as
well.

The one great pearl of wisdom when it comes to original characters is to make sure that their involvement is not intrinsically linked to the main story.

The fact is, people read fanfiction stories to read about characters from that particular franchise. Not
your 'original' characters. While they do have their place, their importance should never override the importance of established characters. Granted, there are outliers; like World of Warcraft, where many characters write their own stories that can exist in parallel to the overall written story (as poor as it is, but I digress).

Case in point; in Malaradark's story Dark Energy, there is a character by the name of Gellian Osco. (Used with author's permission) Mentally unbalanced and sick, but unbelievably intelligent. However, her involvement in the overall story is all behind the scenes.

Here are a few facts about her; (Spoilers for ME1 apply)

She was taken under Benezia's wing and considers her a friend, if not the only friend she has.

She was there on Therum when Shepard and Co. saved Liara.

She was there on Noveria when Benezia was killed and tried to kill Shepard for it (but failed, obviously) and is still trying to do so, indirectly.

Her presence was instrumental on Virmire when Saren was trying to clone Krogan without the Genophage, however, it still ended up being destroyed.

See the pattern?

It's all in the background and doesn't change the established canon of a story. As Malaradark and I spoke, she noted that had Osco's presence been on Virmire and both Kaidan and Ashley could have been saved because of it, it would have turned Dark Energy into an Alternate Universe; which was not the author's intention.

OCs can add some interesting flavor and in universes such as Mass Effect, there's so much potential. However, take care. Remember, OCs are icing on the cake of the adventures of canon characters. Eating nothing but
icing is not only bad for your tummy and teeth, there's not much substance.




I think my next treatise will be on renditions vs retellings. Yes, that's a good idea.

PMC!   *waves*

Modifié par IliyaMoroumetz, 01 juin 2012 - 05:36 .

[fluffywalrus]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

PMC65 wrote...

gearseffect wrote...

What do you have that story still? I want to read it, because it sounds like the most f*cked up thing. I would be doubled over laughing at how obsered it was.

It was a story that I found last year ... If my memory serves me it was a MShep & Miranda? Or Ash? I can't remember. All I remember is how that guy was just too miserable and cursed to let live.

It sounds like a horror movie so bad, you laugh.

That said, I think given the setting of the ME series, especially ME3, as well as some of Shepard's background stories, there is a place for darkness in fics.

Some of the stuff I have written is pretty dark (although admittedly I have never explicitly described torture / rape... that's just... physically revolting), but my Shep's answer to that is her own brand of humour which lightens the tone of the whole story. I guess the reason for including dark bits (although they are depressing to pen) is two-fold:

1. Reality. War is ugly. Look at the genocide in Rwanda (not just oh yeah it was genocide, but the horrific things the Tutsis were forced to do to each other...), the brutalities at Abu Grahib... that is in this day and age, never mind other more recent atrocities like the Rape of Nanking etc. There really is no such thing as a purely good person or a bad person. Its just a spectrum with two ends to explore. Can't have a good hero with no flaws, or a villian without motivation. Similarly, no one just fetches up to save the galaxy.

2. Personal experience. I've seen some wonderful things and some horrible things in my line of work. I've had to smile and be civil to people I strongly suspected of abusing their kids - nice, middle class people who "just don't" do that kind of thing. Unfortunately, it happens. If I include it, I try and write it so people can recognise it from a "reality" perspective. No one likes to talk about these things (myself included), but awareness almost matches deterrence in importance when thinking about how to combat crap like that.

Anyway, that's just my two-cents. It's late and bed time

Understandable. I also agree, awareness/exposure is quite important, alongside deterrence. Bad things happen and it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility that bad things would have happened to Shep when they were young.
I think so long as those bad things are in moderation and only partially help craft the character, it's usually fine. No one is fully defined by a single event or trait. Generally, everyone has good memories and bad memories. They need to have motivation to push them along through life, and through hardship. It's difficult to believe someone would trudge through that because "I had the worst childhood and life ever, so nothing else will really be as bad as that". Just doesn't come across as realistic and honestly wouldn't make sense to me.

The one thing I've struggled with recently in writing is translating a homeless experience from modern day to 156 years in the future. There's just so many variables to think of, and while I'm pretty comfortable writing people, environments are always harder because I want everything to make sense, to be logical.

Sometimes I want to take the easy way out and just be bland in descriptions, but I need to improve my descriptive writing, it's rather poor at the moment IMO.

[Icyflare]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

PMC65 wrote...

gearseffect wrote...

What do you have that story still? I want to read it, because it sounds like the most f*cked up thing. I would be doubled over laughing at how obsered it was.

It was a story that I found last year ... If my memory serves me it was a MShep & Miranda? Or Ash? I can't remember. All I remember is how that guy was just too miserable and cursed to let live.

It sounds like a horror movie so bad, you laugh.

That said, I think given the setting of the ME series, especially ME3, as well as some of Shepard's background stories, there is a place for darkness in fics.

Some of the stuff I have written is pretty dark (although admittedly I have never explicitly described torture / rape... that's just... physically revolting), but my Shep's answer to that is her own brand of humour which lightens the tone of the whole story. I guess the reason for including dark bits (although they are depressing to pen) is two-fold:

1. Reality. War is ugly. Look at the genocide in Rwanda (not just oh yeah it was genocide, but the horrific things the Tutsis were forced to do to each other...), the brutalities at Abu Grahib... that is in this day and age, never mind other more recent atrocities like the Rape of Nanking etc. There really is no such thing as a purely good person or a bad person. Its just a spectrum with two ends to explore. Can't have a good hero with no flaws, or a villian without motivation. Similarly, no one just fetches up to save the galaxy.

2. Personal experience. I've seen some wonderful things and some horrible things in my line of work. I've had to smile and be civil to people I strongly suspected of abusing their kids - nice, middle class people who "just don't" do that kind of thing. Unfortunately, it happens. If I include it, I try and write it so people can recognise it from a "reality" perspective. No one likes to talk about these things (myself included), but awareness almost matches deterrence in importance when thinking about how to combat crap like that.

Anyway, that's just my two-cents. It's late and bed time

Dark bits are fine as long as they work well with your narrative and themes. There's a lot of sensitivity about highly-charged topics like rape, war, torture, etc., that a writer has to be very careful about how you present them; otherwise, it comes off as tasteless and overdone.... like a certain drug addict, male prositiute Shepard.

@PMC I'm surprised you made it three chapters in, considering that story sounds like something you'd avoid.

@gears One site I saw suggested using say/said to indicate a conversation has started, then omit it as long as it was clear who was speaking. As long as it's not jarring to the reader, the usage of it should be fine.

@fluffywalrus I wouldn't focus too much on the environment unless you have a really good idea of what urban settings would be like 170 years from now. The emotional experience would be the same though, e.g. isolation, dejection, the feeling that you're the invisible scum that everyone pretends not to notice... focus on that and not so much the actual settings?

Modifié par Icyflare, 01 juin 2012 - 07:16 .

[Iclonic]

Hmmm...Intelligent people...I shall lurk.

[gearseffect]

@fluffywalrus haha so that's where the review came from. Greatly apreatated I now wish that I had gotten more reviews like that 2 months ago before I did more chapters, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh jerks and their mindless @sskissing reviews they help me none.

Anyway If I only had more reviews like that heh how can I ever hope to do anything if I don't know if I'm worth a sh!t at it. Also fluffywalrus, I have been slowing building and reliving Mindoir in other chapters, I think it starts around chapter 3 of Breaking Points.

God dammit why couldn't someone have been so kind enough to give me a review like this 2 freaking months ago, GOD dang it, I may now have a total of 7 insufferable nonsense and have gotten nothing that I wanted to archive done arghahha 2 months wasted.

[fluffywalrus]

gearseffect wrote...

@fluffywalrus haha so that's where the review came from. Greatly apreatated I now wish that I had gotten more reviews like that 2 months ago before I did more chapters, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh jerks and their mindless @sskissing reviews they help me none.

Anyway If I only had more reviews like that heh how can I ever hope to do anything if I don't know if I'm worth a sh!t at it. Also fluffywalrus, I have been slowing building and reliving Mindoir in other chapters, I think it starts around chapter 3 of Breaking Points.

God dammit why couldn't someone have been so kind enough to give me a review like this 2 freaking months ago, GOD dang it, I may now have a total of 7 insufferable nonsense and have gotten nothing that I wanted to archive done arghahha 2 months wasted.

Not a wasted two months. I've already seen improvement in the second chapter. And like I said in the review, I'm one kind of reader. One of my friends who reads fanfics too tends to prefer less detail as well as more plot progression and dialogue.  I'm but one kind among many.
I'll have the next review up tomorrow, I can't keep my eyes open any longer (to my credit, it's 4:45AM). I've got a pretty big blank slate tomorrow. Just some writing to do and possibly some housecleaning, and then a massive void. So I should get done your reviews soon. You'll probably notice my reviews will get shorter as I have less and less ground to cover.

Anywho, sleepytime she comes. Night(morning?) all!

[gearseffect]

I guess what I meant is Your Review is the first that actually gives me anything to go off of, all the other reviews for all I know they just skimmed it, I can't even gather any form of consensus among them other then mindless @sskissing. I'd rather have more people telling me why they felt my work was so insufferable that they wish I'd go back and rethink it and rework the whole thing.Because they can't bare it anymore.

Then reviews that tell me nothing other then 'tis great, but spelling errors" DID you read it? Or skim it? I can't tell from that. I wish I had more reviews like yours because hate those mindless @sskissing reviews.


EDIT OK This really bugs me I came across a fanfic early yesterday and in it EDI kept calling Joker,  Joker? Whenever I go to write those two (well I've wrote more for EDI then Joker), I hear EDI saying Jeff, not Joker. She seems to only ever call him Jeff, I'll be typing up and I'l be trying to hear the characters voice and what it sounds like, and I can only hear EDI calling Joker,   Jeff.

Oh and then I had the great misfortune of not know what a slash fanfic was, so when I asked I had the great misforute of being provided with a Thane/Kolyat slash fanfic. I didn't read it alll

Modifié par gearseffect, 01 juin 2012 - 09:19 .

[lillitheris]

gearseffect wrote...

Quick question, when read fanfics do you like it when someone continually clarifies he said, ya know every time someone says something they have to do that whole he said thing?

I think general writing advice is to always err on the side of “he said”. There are a few obvious equivalents like ‘shouted’, ‘asked’ and ‘replied’ as well as the qualifiers like “said dryly” which all can be used where appropriate, but trying to avoid ‘said’ everywhere is probably a net negative.

[fainmaca]

@gears:

I think you need to ease up on your reviewers a bit. Its not like they've launched any personal attacks on you. They've just commented that they liked it. I mean, if any of those reviewers come by this thread, they could well decide not to review any more, seeing how you're basically talking bad about them behind their backs. Its not exactly a@@-kissing, because there's nothing for them to gain by complimenting your story. Nobody is required to read your fics, nor are they forced to leave a review. They do it because they want to. I think you need to respect that, because a creator that loses respect for his audience ends up creating something like ME3.

[Icyflare]

fainmaca wrote...

@gears:

I think you need to ease up on your reviewers a bit. Its not like they've launched any personal attacks on you. They've just commented that they liked it. I mean, if any of those reviewers come by this thread, they could well decide not to review any more, seeing how you're basically talking bad about them behind their backs. Its not exactly a@@-kissing, because there's nothing for them to gain by complimenting your story. Nobody is required to read your fics, nor are they forced to leave a review. They do it because they want to. I think you need to respect that, because a creator that loses respect for his audience ends up creating something like ME3.

Whoa, careful there. Despite the controversy over the ending, I think a good portion of players would agree that 99% of ME3 was amazing. Which aspects of ME3 are you specifically talking about? The ending? Various gripes that have been brought up several threads already or something more specific?

Modifié par Icyflare, 01 juin 2012 - 10:08 .

[lillitheris]

fainmaca wrote...

@gears:

I think you need to ease up on your reviewers a bit. Its not like they've launched any personal attacks on you. They've just commented that they liked it.

I tend to agree with this. It’s not that they’re failing their obligation by only giving a short positive message, since the default is not saying anything at all.

They write what they write, and then you have to decide what to do with it.

Getting too many “yay loved it” reviews would, in my book, be one of those good problems to have

Modifié par lillitheris, 01 juin 2012 - 11:05 .

[fainmaca]

@Icyflare: In my opinion? The cheap resolutions to 'important choices' from previous games (Rachni, anyone?), giving cherished characters from the ME2 squad less screentime than Private Jenkins, becoming more CoD/GoW and less of its own unique experience, MP in an obvious attempt to make money through microtransactions, and yeah, the ending. there is very little about the game that left me satisfied after ME1 and 2 brilliance. In my opinion, ME3 has greatly damaged the potential for compelling storytelling through video games.

I don't want to detour too heavily from the actual topic here, so let's leave that at that. I shouldn't really have brought ME3 into discussion in this thread.

Modifié par fainmaca, 01 juin 2012 - 10:19 .

[Severyx]

Lots of interesting points here. As far as that OC treatise goes: that makes sense and I agree, though that assumes the writer is directly intending to keep the story canon. Also, it can't really apply to a story like mine, however, as the entire cast (aside from a couple of short appearances) is made up of OCs. I think the difference, though, is that my characters never once come in contact with Shepard & company, thereby preserving canon according to each person's game. Like the example that pointed out, their actions and involvement are still in the same timeframe as Shepard's dealings, but it's so far behind the scenes that it never directly alters any canon information. Mostly it just makes you go "...Huh. That's totally plausible. Oh God, the implications!"

Personally, I think that's the best kind. That said, I also can't technically consider mine a 'fanfiction' either, since there's next to nothing of established characters, which is where the genre comes from.

As far as reviews are concerned. . . For someone like me whose story is lucky to get one review every several chapters (because of the lack of aforementioned established characters), even something as simple as "good chapter, bro" is good enough for me. At least that way I know people are still reading it, hah. While I'd certainly much rather have a nice, in-depth review, I certainly can't expect that. It'd be like a starving hobo turning away a cheeseburger because it wasn't a four-course dinner.

[Sialater]

fluffywalrus wrote...

PMC65 wrote...

I once started a story that by chapter three Shepard had been a drug addict, male prostitute, pimp, beaten up and left for dead by a rival gang, his arms broken by his surrogate mother, his wife OD'd, his child stolen by abusive surrogate mother ... All within the first three chapters! Not once did Shepard smile, laugh or love ... his wife was a prostitute that he knocked up while high on red sand so he married her ... after she threatened to kill herself if he didn't ... and so on.

I mercifully pretended to shoot him in the head and closed the story. 

I'm honestly curious as to how someone could will themselves to write that. I know that I've written a snippet or two of future events for my fic that are pretty harsh, and even those little bits made me feel pretty terrible. And I'd really consider myself to be pretty darn desensitized to violence, gore, etc.

I just don't know how they'd make it past chapter 1.

I freely admit to torturing the hell out of Meghan, but I at least gave her a sense of humor and a reason to appreciate what she has.  Holy crap, that's excessive.

[Sialater]

As far as OCs go, I have ONE OC. Ash from my first fic, The Rescue. She fit something I needed done at the time and now she's part of my Dragon Age world. (This is not including my Shepards/Warden/Hawke who are, in effect, OCs as well.)

I have plenty of OCs, I just don't put them in my fics. If I'm going to create an original character, I'll give them their own world to play in.

[lillitheris]

Sialater wrote...

As far as OCs go, I have ONE OC. Ash from my first fic, The Rescue. She fit something I needed done at the time and now she's part of my Dragon Age world. (This is not including my Shepards/Warden/Hawke who are, in effect, OCs as well.)

I have plenty of OCs, I just don't put them in my fics. If I'm going to create an original character, I'll give them their own world to play in.

Where do you draw the line between a side character and an OC? That is, I assume you have some side roles outside of the canon characters — or are they perhaps all unnamed or similar?

[Sialater]

lillitheris wrote...

Sialater wrote...

As far as OCs go, I have ONE OC. Ash from my first fic, The Rescue. She fit something I needed done at the time and now she's part of my Dragon Age world. (This is not including my Shepards/Warden/Hawke who are, in effect, OCs as well.)

I have plenty of OCs, I just don't put them in my fics. If I'm going to create an original character, I'll give them their own world to play in.

Where do you draw the line between a side character and an OC? That is, I assume you have some side roles outside of the canon characters — or are they perhaps all unnamed or similar?

Not sure what you mean?  I needed Ash since I'd taken my Warden to a part of Thedas the games hadn't shown us so there was no previously invented supporting cast there, so Invented a few one of which actually survived (I shouldn't say Ash is my only OC.  At the time of writing, I needed a First and none had been named, so I invented him, too).  I don't really even invent supporting cast.  BW gave us so many characters to play with.  If, for instance, one of my Shepards has an issue on Omega, one of Aria's goons can be sent to assist, if absolutely necessary.  So, vaguely invented supporting character that can fade back into the woodwork if need be.

But... looking at your question again... Ash and my First Warden counts as OCs in my estimation because I invented backgrounds and personalities for them.  Aria's random goon #3 is a plot device.

Modifié par Sialater, 01 juin 2012 - 02:21 .

[noxiuniversitas1]

fluffywalrus wrote...

Understandable. I also agree, awareness/exposure is quite important, alongside deterrence. Bad things happen and it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility that bad things would have happened to Shep when they were young.
I think so long as those bad things are in moderation and only partially help craft the character, it's usually fine. No one is fully defined by a single event or trait. Generally, everyone has good memories and bad memories. They need to have motivation to push them along through life, and through hardship. It's difficult to believe someone would trudge through that because "I had the worst childhood and life ever, so nothing else will really be as bad as that". Just doesn't come across as realistic and honestly wouldn't make sense to me.

I fully agree. It goes back to my whole point about life being a spectrum to explore. Motivations are extremely complex things, and they are very hard to explore inter-personally (4 weems of forensic psychiatry taught me that...), let alone through changing scenes in a piece of fiction. For example, thanks to Hollywood / fiction to some degree, the real horrors of psychosis (i.e. schizophrenia), have also been dulled somewhat. Its hard to explore a motivation like that (not that it features anywhere in my story) without alienating / confusing the hell out of a significant proportion of viewers / readers. Grief has become almost romanticised in some circles, usually in the form of some sort of channeled need for anger / revenge, although the grim reality is very different (and usually very boring to read / watch, so I understand why it is avoided).

Anyway, I haven't written any fiction in over 10 years. Sometimes I'm a bit removed from what people think is too much (just by virtue of having seen it a bit too frequently for comfort), so I'd really appreciate it if someone could take the time to let me know if I'm crossing a line somewhere. The opinions herein have been very sensible and are definitely ones I would respect. However, I also completely understand if you want to stray away from stories which have a self-professed "darker" side.

fluffywalrus wrote...


The one thing I've struggled with recently in writing is translating a homeless experience from modern day to 156 years in the future. There's just so many variables to think of, and while I'm pretty comfortable writing people, environments are always harder because I want everything to make sense, to be logical.

Sometimes I want to take the easy way out and just be bland in descriptions, but I need to improve my descriptive writing, it's rather poor at the moment IMO.

Not sure if any suggestions have been made, but I would stick to the emotional side of it. Homelessness is very rarely an easy picture to paint. The environments are so dynamic that almost any description could fit - it could be a dark, rainy cold day with someone huddled under a soaking piece of cardboard. Just as easily, it could be a white Christmas with someone struggling to stay warm, perhaps near an exhaust vent.

The imagery is usually secondary to the human, however. For all the homeless people I have treated, there are common themes of despair, desertion, loneliness and hopelessness. But equally, there is (if you can bring yourself to see it that way) an uplifting side. There is often a great camaderie between them, and they look out for each other. I've had people under my care who have absconded tracked for days by others, brought back at their own (not-insignificant) expense, and kept nourished with their own meagre stocks of food. It really puts things into perspective.

Anyway, I hope that helps a little. If it didn't, sorry you had to wade through my ramblings

[lillitheris]

Hm, I seem to have missed the entire top half of this page, good stuff up there.

[lillitheris]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

fluffywalrus wrote...


The one thing I've struggled with recently in writing is translating a homeless experience from modern day to 156 years in the future. There's just so many variables to think of, and while I'm pretty comfortable writing people, environments are always harder because I want everything to make sense, to be logical.

Sometimes I want to take the easy way out and just be bland in descriptions, but I need to improve my descriptive writing, it's rather poor at the moment IMO.

Not sure if any suggestions have been made, but I would stick to the emotional side of it. Homelessness is very rarely an easy picture to paint. The environments are so dynamic that almost any description could fit - it could be a dark, rainy cold day with someone huddled under a soaking piece of cardboard. Just as easily, it could be a white Christmas with someone struggling to stay warm, perhaps near an exhaust vent.

Ah, but here is where it gets tricky: is cardboard still in use? Does it actually snow anywhere? Wouldn’t homeless people be prime candidates to try to make a new life in the colonies? Would certain species be more averse to having and/or seeing homeless people? Somehow I’d think there are very few homeless asari…and in the same vein, homelessness on the Citadel or Illium would brobably still on the whole be relatively low, unlike Omega. What do charities look like? Here we are, roaming space with aliens, and we still have homeless people?

The Citadel has the food distribution thing going, and one would imagine that given the reasonably simple manufacture of nutrition pastes, that would help with keeping everyone fed at least.

There are all kinds of things to take into account if you try to make homelessness an integral part of a story.

The imagery is usually secondary to the human, however. For all the homeless people I have treated, there are common themes of despair, desertion, loneliness and hopelessness. But equally, there is (if you can bring yourself to see it that way) an uplifting side. There is often a great camaderie between them, and they look out for each other. I've had people under my care who have absconded tracked for days by others, brought back at their own (not-insignificant) expense, and kept nourished with their own meagre stocks of food. It really puts things into perspective.

This falls a little under the romanticization you mentioned in a different context earlier, doesn’t it?

[lillitheris]

IliyaMoroumetz wrote...

Case in point; in Malaradark's story Dark Energy, there is a character by the name of Gellian Osco. (Used with author's permission) Mentally unbalanced and sick, but unbelievably intelligent. However, her involvement in the overall story is all behind the scenes.

Without spoiling too much, Osco isn’t a great example of a nonintrusive OC anymore…her actions have pretty far-reaching consequences, but the readership is OK with it — possibly because of the slow introduction.