9962 réponses à ce sujet

[RoboticWays]

Where is chapter one at?

[Drussius]

It is in my signature. Just click on the link. I also created a thread in this forum for it so people could find it easier.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Oh dear.... Event Horizon reminds me of that really dark creepy SF movie.

[Drussius]

LOL. I said that when I picked the name... That I wasn't sure about it because it might bring that Sci Fi/Horror movie to mind. But it was the catchiest title I could think of.

Edit: I am loving this little stats page they give you for your stories... I have even had a view from someone in Singapore

Modifié par Drussius, 15 juillet 2012 - 04:31 .

[Wolf_Mar09]

So how many people write fan fiction that doesn't involve Sheperd?

[I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME JERY]

Wolf_Mar09 wrote...

So how many people write fan fiction that doesn't involve Sheperd?

Me.

I have an OC fic in it's third chapter right now, actually. It'll make some references to certain characters every now and again, but Shepard or the crew aren't going to appear.

Figure I might as well take this opportunity to shamelessly self-advertise.

www.fanfiction.net/s/8115249/1/Smoke_and_Mirrors

Some feedback would be appreciated, if anyone is interested.

Modifié par SergeantSnookie, 15 juillet 2012 - 04:50 .

[dpMeggers]

 ...it's up!

Wheeee reading material!

[Drussius]

Wolf_Mar09 wrote...

So how many people write fan fiction that doesn't involve Sheperd?

I do. Chapter one of my fic went up a couple hours ago. It mentions Shepard as background information, but nowhere does he/she actually make an appearance.

dpMeggers wrote...

 ...it's up!

Wheeee reading material!

I hope it lives up to the wait!

[Icyflare]

Drussius wrote...

Edit: I am loving this little stats page they give you for your stories... I have even had a view from someone in Singapore

After you mentioned it, I went to look at my stats. I got a look from someone in Qatar. I don't know where that is, but it seems like a good thing.

Modifié par Icyflare, 15 juillet 2012 - 04:50 .

[Drussius]

I am guessing that it takes a little while for new reviews to show up on a story. I got an email saying I received a second review, but when I click on the reviews section of my story, only the first one shows up.

And I apologize for the numerous silly little posts here. I'm just a little tickled to have my story up and be receiving feedback!

[dpMeggers]

Icyflare wrote...

Drussius wrote...

Edit: I am loving this little stats page they give you for your stories... I have even had a view from someone in Singapore

After you mentioned it, I went to look at my stats. I got a look from someone in Qatar. I don't know where that is, but it seems like a good thing.

Arabian peninsula. It was where the American soldiers got attacked by Decepticons in the first Michael Bay Transformers movie. That I know that off the top of my head is a little embarrasing. Oh well.

Edit: I should clarify. That I know where Qatar is is not embarassing. The association with the movie is a bit.

Modifié par dpMeggers, 15 juillet 2012 - 05:01 .

[Icyflare]

^Still beats the second movie.

[dpMeggers]

Icyflare wrote...

^Still beats the second movie.

There was a second movie?

That was a joke.

Oh and @Druissus, apologies in advance for my review. I write them as I'm reading and they wind up being a bit stream-of-consciousness. (I'm about halfway through the chapter now).

[Drussius]

dpMeggers wrote...

Icyflare wrote...

^Still beats the second movie.

There was a second movie?

That was a joke.

Oh and @Druissus, apologies in advance for my review. I write them as I'm reading and they wind up being a bit stream-of-consciousness. (I'm about halfway through the chapter now).

That's quite alright. I got the email for your review, and I have to say you had me laughing with your comments

Although I am actually not sure about the asari scientists reference as I have never actually watched Big Bang Theory. Although "nerdy and sarcastic" is definitely a good descriptor.

And with that said, thank you to everyone who has bothered to read my story, and to everyone who left reviews. I appreciate all of the comments and the criticisms!

Keep them coming!

[dpMeggers]

Drussius wrote...

That's quite alright. I got the email for your review, and I have to say you had me laughing with your comments

Although I am actually not sure about the asari scientists reference as I have never actually watched Big Bang Theory. Although "nerdy and sarcastic" is definitely a good descriptor.

And with that said, thank you to everyone who has bothered to read my story, and to everyone who left reviews. I appreciate all of the comments and the criticisms!

Keep them coming!

Big Bang Theory in brief: 2 physicist roommates, their friends another physicist and an engineer and their aspiring actress neighbour (and various others). Humour ranges from science to scatalogical. All characters snark. Also the Barenaked Ladies sing the themesong. THEMESONG!!! (with lyrics)

Modifié par dpMeggers, 15 juillet 2012 - 06:02 .

[Drussius]

dpMeggers wrote...

Big Bang Theory in brief: 2 physicist roommates, their friends another physicist and an engineer and their aspiring actress neighbour (and various others). Humour ranges from science to scatalogical. All characters snark. Also the Barenaked Ladies sing the themesong. THEMESONG!!! (with lyrics)

Well, the themesong is certainly amusing. Sounds like the kind of show I would be doing a lot of snickering while watching. But I don't usually watch that sort of show. I'm more of the Law & Order, NCIS, CSI, Covert Affairs, etc. type of guy. Either that or I'm watching whatever shows the girls feel like watching.

[Sweawm]

Wolf_Mar09 wrote...

So how many people write fan fiction that doesn't involve Sheperd?

Personally can't stand actually writing about Shepard. The second you make one decision, you alienate half of the audience who has a different opinion. Renegade/Paragon plus LI determine just who reads it. I prefer writing something that a wide majority can enjoy.

The only time I think I wrote something about Shepard was an big AU fic, which kind of burned out. 

[TheMarshal]

Wolf_Mar09 wrote...

So how many people write fan fiction that doesn't involve Sheperd?

The closest I've come is Observer, which focuses on Liara and an OC.  Shepard isn't in the story at all except in references, if that's what you meant.  I've read a few fan comics that are 100% OC-focused.  I think the Mass Effect universe is far too rich to be limited to one character.

As for FF.net and whitespace, as you've no doubt gathered by now all extra linebreaks and even the extra space between sentences are removed when a document is uploaded.  If you want a section break you'll have to rely on something you insert yourself.  Alternatively, within the editor there's a horizontal bar button which inserts a (gasp!) horizontal bar which acts as an adequate section break.

[hot_heart]

Icyflare wrote...
I liked your article, although I have never watched Firefly. I thought it was insightful and explained a lot of narrative details that were later incorporated into ME3, like showing the relationships between crew memebers (e.g. random convos between your squad mates that you can walk into). I'm a little tempted to go watch Firefly myself now.

Thank you. And, yeah, I can see how they tried to keep a lot more of the story on-point rather than scattered, as well.

I cannot recommend Firefly highly enough. Hopefully I didn't spoil too much of it.

Wolf_Mar09 wrote...
So how many people write fan fiction that doesn't involve Sheperd?

I'm only including him in the scenes I take from ME3. I would try and avoid using Shepard altogether but in this case I figured I might as well make the relationship an integral part of the 'theme'. I've tried to be as vague about some of the background details that may vary from player to player, but you can never fully eliminate that (even the dialogue chosen gives it away).

If I were to write more, it would focus on Miranda and Jack with possibly only ever a brief mention of Shepard.

I'd agree about alienating some of your audience with your own Shepard. Though I hear people praising Dark Energy, I must confess that I cannot take that Shepard seriously.

Modifié par hot_heart, 15 juillet 2012 - 10:29 .

[lillitheris]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

Ursakar wrote...

I have a question ME personal armor. As I understand, the heavier variants are similar to the medieval armor, which means that they consist of several pieces connected to each other (breastplate, vambraces, greaves etc.)

My question is: what about light armor? Can it also consist of several pieces or should it be like solid one-piece suit similar to what divers wear?

I'd called it a skinsuit though. One piece. That would make it really different from the other two sets.

Skipped over this… I think light armor still falls in the same pattern of construction for the most part. It’ll have some type of hardened base fabric/material, and then either detachable or attached armor pieces. If you look at Liara’s white-blue outfit, for example, you could well imagine it containing a few plates of a light material (not kevlar, but somewhat indicative). The lightness also comes from lacking complete coverage — for example rather than a full vambrace, it’ll only have a slightly curved piece that covers the top of the forearm, and so on. The joints are more exposed for mobility etc.

In addition, I think skinsuits go underneath…they may have some special properties, compression, medi-gel delivery, shield gridding, light weave, and so on.

[lillitheris]

The stupid horizontal bar on FFN doesn’t have enough margins…it should be about a good line height both up and down.

Edit: had enough with the stupid, so I added a small text file with < br >< center >~o〜O〜o~< /center >< br >, which I can just add with :r section_separator.txt

Edit2: screw it, I’m just going to implement a custom Markdown renderer that replaces *** with that…

Edit3: wait, FFN seriously replaces “, ”, and ’ no matter how I try to insert them?! Shameful…

Modifié par lillitheris, 15 juillet 2012 - 01:06 .

[Spiritwolf1]

Drussius wrote...

I am guessing that it takes a little while for new reviews to show up on a story. I got an email saying I received a second review, but when I click on the reviews section of my story, only the first one shows up.

And I apologize for the numerous silly little posts here. I'm just a little tickled to have my story up and be receiving feedback!

Sorry just woke up... Ill read it when I get to work Promise.

[Spiritwolf1]

hot_heart wrote...


Thank you. And, yeah, I can see how they tried to keep a lot more of the story on-point rather than scattered, as well.

I cannot recommend Firefly highly enough. Hopefully I didn't spoil too much of it.

I second the Firefly recommendation. The only problem with it was FOX. It's typical and fanstastic Whedonism at it's best.

[hot_heart]

Drussius, I have read chapter one. First of all, love the avatar. Gambit yay!

Second of all, I enjoyed it. It does a good job of setting the scene, with a decent mix of character types. The scope is well-defined and I had no problem with the switching between characters and timezones.

I do agree with a few of the reviews, particularly Icyflare's. I have actually done some editing notes for the entire chapter, a link to which I shall PM you. Keep in mind, it's all suggestions from a personal perspective, and I am very ruthless when it comes to word usage and such. Feel free to ignore the advice.

In general terms, I think the writing is very good. It would benefit from being a bit sharper when it comes to certain sentences, as there is a tendency to repeat information and already established actions. For the dialogue (as I seem to harp on about constantly whenever and wherever...), I think it would be wise to examine what a character would communicate and how rather than what needs to be explained. Sometimes it may feel too neutral/passive or dry. Don't forget that narration can account for little details. Otherwise, leave some of it unanswered; it can be more interesting that way.

(I'll include some of this in a review on the site, for numbers' sake)

[Drussius]

I very much appreciate all the feedback I've received so far on the story. I am already starting to identify some of the weak points in my presentation thanks to the outside opinions. New perspectives on my writing are proving to be a tremendous help. Hopefully I will be able to absorb them well enough that the next chapter will see a marked improvement.