9962 réponses à ce sujet

[JadeDragonMTR]

gearseffect wrote...

Do you think I should put it in my Author's Notes about how I wrote Ashley as my Ashley which is classic Ashley not ME3 Ashley? I am in a bind here on how to go about handling that because I hate that thing being called Ashley in ME3, her make over and stuff.

When I read a story, the looks of the character counts only for so much. I don't mind neither Ashley, with the graphics enhancements for most characters and weapons/armor, etc. in ME3, everyone looks a little different. But the reason I'd want to keep reading is how your Ashley acts, talks and thinks. Yeah, looks does matter, but if you can pull off a bad@ss Ashley through these other things, I think the classic Ash can work. 

Thanks for any advice or words of encouragement on writing Ashley as not looking like ME3 Ashley, and writing her as classic looking tanned skin, brunette, bad@ss, @sskicking action chick Ashley, you know the classic ME look.

Which reminds me of Michelle Rodriguez ohhh Michelle your are the only reason I went to see Avatar in theaters, yes Michelle's bad@ss powers, sweaty hotness in action scenes has the power to make me go see even the dullest movies I'd never otherwise see.

Speaking of bad@ass-ness, Michelle Rodriguez is the only reason I watch that Resident Evil movie over and over again! LOL.

[fluffywalrus]

JadeDragonMTR wrote...

Thanks for the replies, everybody! As I said I just found this thread. It's wonderful!

@Fluff, I will read Flotsam, I'd love to see what your Shep is like.

@lillitheris Wow, your Shep's background and personality sound similar to mine, except mine is even more paragon, like those kids get along with everyone and would feed your cat for you if you go away on a vacation. LOL. But even though she becomes a soldier, mainly because the experience on Elysium, her main thing is she's always thirsty for knowledge. In my mind, Shep couldn't have been like she is without knowing so much about other cultures, ships, even some politics. The hard part is to get side stories like those Sheps with a past can easily get into, like an old villain. Right now, I'm having a hard time to think of an evil character who can give Shep trouble on her quest to hunt down Saren. The obvious choice would be Udina. But so many fics have used that. Would it be too ordinary? Never thought Shep would run out enemies, but the 100% paragon Shep I've created doesn't have it from her past, she doesn't even use the f-word, yet. I will read ME4: Unity as well to see what your Shep is like.

Here is my fic if you want to read it: http://www.fanfictio...In_Love_and_War

Thanks again. This is a great place!

:OSo many new fics to track in a single day! Jeez, I'm going to have my hands full. I promise I'll read yours as well...though it'll have to be when I finish this chapter of mine and get some sleep.
But yeah, take your time with mine. I tend to upload somewhat...I don't know, I think I upload fairly slowly. But thanks in advance if you do read it. It's technically my first fic, so the first few chapters are a bit rough.

Haha, your Shep would probably babysit a pyjak if someone asked really nicely As for enemies...well, Udina is an option of course. However, perhaps something a bit more abstract would do? Like, your Shepard's paragon-ness worked as she grew up, and even in her Military training, but being out in the galaxy and seeing al these new places and people...perhaps their mindset doesn't always mesh with your Shep's mindset, and ideological clashes/conflicts/issues occur from the differences? I could see this being rather potent in a place like Noveria.
I mean, canonically, there are no main villains aside from Saren and perhaps Udina in some form. Yet your Shep's views just might not mesh with the views of those who "run" the galaxy, or their worlds, or their citis, or whatever. That could be an interesting dynamic. Not a visible, consistent individual villain, but it could work to bring in some drama and conflict. I mean, even though she KNOWS about these species and cultures, her means of solving disputes with them might not be accepted with open arms like they generally are in the game. Small changes to that kind of stuff if usually interesting, and provides flavour to the story. Kind of like the idea of writing a council that privately supports Shepard's claims of the Reapers, even if they can't support it publically until ME3 when they arrive. Or a bunch of other stuff I'll probably change in order to provide a slightly AU story that spices up the tired parts of the canon.

But, uh, yeah. I kind of spaced for a moment and lost my train of thought.
So welcome to the thread

[hot_heart]

Seracen wrote...
The stigma of having hair when Batarians hate humans is not something I'd considered, but I'd not really fleshed out the idea of prosthetic hair, as it still seems wierd to me.

Maybe batarian females do have hair but then humans appeared, settling in their systems as well as showing off their superior lustrous and genetically-diverse hairstyles, so bitterness and jealousy took over.

As a result, batarian females locked themselves away and took to writing ****y gossip columns about human fashion.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to 
 Obsidian Gryphon and hot_heart for your feedback. =)

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 19 juillet 2012 - 07:47 .

[JadeDragonMTR]

fluffywalrus wrote...

JadeDragonMTR wrote...

Thanks for the replies, everybody! As I said I just found this thread. It's wonderful!

@Fluff, I will read Flotsam, I'd love to see what your Shep is like.

@lillitheris Wow, your Shep's background and personality sound similar to mine, except mine is even more paragon, like those kids get along with everyone and would feed your cat for you if you go away on a vacation. LOL. But even though she becomes a soldier, mainly because the experience on Elysium, her main thing is she's always thirsty for knowledge. In my mind, Shep couldn't have been like she is without knowing so much about other cultures, ships, even some politics. The hard part is to get side stories like those Sheps with a past can easily get into, like an old villain. Right now, I'm having a hard time to think of an evil character who can give Shep trouble on her quest to hunt down Saren. The obvious choice would be Udina. But so many fics have used that. Would it be too ordinary? Never thought Shep would run out enemies, but the 100% paragon Shep I've created doesn't have it from her past, she doesn't even use the f-word, yet. I will read ME4: Unity as well to see what your Shep is like.

Here is my fic if you want to read it: http://www.fanfictio...In_Love_and_War

Thanks again. This is a great place!

:OSo many new fics to track in a single day! Jeez, I'm going to have my hands full. I promise I'll read yours as well...though it'll have to be when I finish this chapter of mine and get some sleep.
But yeah, take your time with mine. I tend to upload somewhat...I don't know, I think I upload fairly slowly. But thanks in advance if you do read it. It's technically my first fic, so the first few chapters are a bit rough.

Haha, your Shep would probably babysit a pyjak if someone asked really nicely As for enemies...well, Udina is an option of course. However, perhaps something a bit more abstract would do? Like, your Shepard's paragon-ness worked as she grew up, and even in her Military training, but being out in the galaxy and seeing al these new places and people...perhaps their mindset doesn't always mesh with your Shep's mindset, and ideological clashes/conflicts/issues occur from the differences? I could see this being rather potent in a place like Noveria.
I mean, canonically, there are no main villains aside from Saren and perhaps Udina in some form. Yet your Shep's views just might not mesh with the views of those who "run" the galaxy, or their worlds, or their citis, or whatever. That could be an interesting dynamic. Not a visible, consistent individual villain, but it could work to bring in some drama and conflict. I mean, even though she KNOWS about these species and cultures, her means of solving disputes with them might not be accepted with open arms like they generally are in the game. Small changes to that kind of stuff if usually interesting, and provides flavour to the story. Kind of like the idea of writing a council that privately supports Shepard's claims of the Reapers, even if they can't support it publically until ME3 when they arrive. Or a bunch of other stuff I'll probably change in order to provide a slightly AU story that spices up the tired parts of the canon.

But, uh, yeah. I kind of spaced for a moment and lost my train of thought.
So welcome to the thread

Boy, that was quick! What you said gave me some ideas. Thanks!!

[fluffywalrus]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to lillitheris for your feedback. =)

That's three! Three new fics I've been made aware of today! Bahahahaha! *cliche thunder and lightning sound*

Anywho, I shall give it a peek later today

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

fluffywalrus wrote...

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to lillitheris for your feedback. =)

That's three! Three new fics I've been made aware of today! Bahahahaha! *cliche thunder and lightning sound*

Anywho, I shall give it a peek later today

Haha, Sorry to do that to you.  I shall check out some of your work as compensation. 

[Drussius]

What the heck happened to BSN last night? I posted, walked away to get a drink, came back and the site was down!
And the really sad part? What did I do with my time away from the board instead of writing? I went to bed! God, I'm weak... What kind of proper writer actually sleeps?


All jokes aside, I'm glad the number of fics is rising daily. More wonderful writers and more awesome stories is all upside. The list grows!

[hot_heart]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to lillitheris for your feedback. =)

Always nice to see more Miranda fans.

As it's a short chapter, when I have more time later, I shall give it a lookover later and offer some proper constructive feedback rather than just pointing out little errors or suggestions. At a quick glance, I can see a few places I would use commas, for clarity's sake. Also, I think you have a typo of 'continues' when you meant 'continued' (I'm assuming a mid-sentence change of tense was not intentional).

In general terms, I'm always a little uneasy with even Shepard referring to Miranda as Miri. I think only Niket ever used that nickname, and she might resent hearing it any more (I believe even Oriana uses 'Randa'). Also, in the games, Shepard tends to refer to her as Miranda or, when playful, Ms. Lawson.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

hot_heart wrote...

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to lillitheris for your feedback. =)

Always nice to see more Miranda fans.

As it's a short chapter, when I have more time later, I shall give it a lookover later and offer some proper constructive feedback rather than just pointing out little errors or suggestions. At a quick glance, I can see a few places I would use commas, for clarity's sake. Also, I think you have a typo of 'continues' when you meant 'continued' (I'm assuming a mid-sentence change of tense was not intentional).

In general terms, I'm always a little uneasy with even Shepard referring to Miranda as Miri. I think only Niket ever used that nickname, and she might resent hearing it any more (I believe even Oriana uses 'Randa'). Also, in the games, Shepard tends to refer to her as Miranda or, when playful, Ms. Lawson.

Originally it was Ms.Lawson however it was removed when I uploaded it to fan-fic.net. Not sure why though, and as I needed to quickly turn it around I saw it as a good fit. 
Damn I thought I got all the mistakes. Anyway thanks I shall take a look and update. 
As for commas, I am always unsure if I am using too many or too few.

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 19 juillet 2012 - 03:26 .

[TheMarshal]

Got about 1300 words for the Big Bang piece down on paper between last night and this morning. Feeling a little better about writing Ash now that I've got that out, but I know I'm missing a lot of her character. For starters, I have no EARTHLY concept of poetry, or how people who read poetry use it in their day-to-day lives. I would imagine it's something like what my wife and I do with each other, where we quote random snippets from The Simpsons or The West Wing or other shows when we believe it's either poignant or funny (sometimes both!). But not knowing the first thing about Tennyson, and lacking the desire to become a poet laureate just for this fic, are hindering my writing a little bit.

[lillitheris]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to lillitheris for your feedback. =)

I don’t think I can take credit for feedback, must have been someone else

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

lillitheris wrote...

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I just finished my first chapter and it has been posted on Fan-Fiction.net.
Here is the link if you wish to check it out, any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Thanks to lillitheris for your feedback. =)

I don’t think I can take credit for feedback, must have been someone else

You are correct, my mistake.  
I wish to thank  Obsidian Gryphon and hot_heart. You deserve your credits. 

[lillitheris]

TheMarshal wrote...

Got about 1300 words for the Big Bang piece down on paper between last night and this morning. Feeling a little better about writing Ash now that I've got that out, but I know I'm missing a lot of her character. For starters, I have no EARTHLY concept of poetry, or how people who read poetry use it in their day-to-day lives. I would imagine it's something like what my wife and I do with each other, where we quote random snippets from The Simpsons or The West Wing or other shows when we believe it's either poignant or funny (sometimes both!). But not knowing the first thing about Tennyson, and lacking the desire to become a poet laureate just for this fic, are hindering my writing a little bit.

The reason The Simpsons works is mostly because it’s a common touch-point—although given the form, many of the jokes are reasonably simple to understand.

An idea in poetic form is unlikely to be clear enough without both parties aware of its meaning, so its relevance in day-to-day conversation is fairly small. So, while it might be something a person reaches to for inspiration (or comparison, whatever), privately, you can gloss over those parts by just bringing in the theme (or whatever) of a poem, rather than any particular content. Alternately, it could simply be a means of relaxation—if a character reads a book, you need not go into detail about it; same applies here.

[hot_heart]

As far as I can recall, Ash sort of uses poetry as a 'coping device'. I think she uses it to offer perspective on things.

Don't know if that helps one bit...

[Icyflare]

hot_heart wrote...

As far as I can recall, Ash sort of uses poetry as a 'coping device'. I think she uses it to offer perspective on things.

Don't know if that helps one bit...

I think I remember hearing something like that too. She uses poetry to express ideas that she can't do very well herself. I'd think Ashley would use poetry to express intense, emotional thoughts that her practical soldier side doesn't allow her to dwell on.

[hot_heart]

That's a much better way of putting it, thanks!

I don't really remember that side of Ash in ME3...and I bought her a whole book of poetry as well!

[TheMarshal]

Icyflare wrote...

hot_heart wrote...

As far as I can recall, Ash sort of uses poetry as a 'coping device'. I think she uses it to offer perspective on things.

Don't know if that helps one bit...

I think I remember hearing something like that too. She uses poetry to express ideas that she can't do very well herself. I'd think Ashley would use poetry to express intense, emotional thoughts that her practical soldier side doesn't allow her to dwell on.

It does help, as she's not terribly comfortable in the situation in which she's being placed, so it would make sense that she'd use a passage from a poem to center herself.  Just don't have the faintest idea what to use.

[lillitheris]

TheMarshal wrote...

It does help, as she's not terribly comfortable in the situation in which she's being placed, so it would make sense that she'd use a passage from a poem to center herself.  Just don't have the faintest idea what to use.

It might be nice to use a real poem—published or made up—but if it’s a blocker right now, you could at least temporarily simply gloss over it and state exactly that: she thinks back to a certain passage that has helped her before. Then, if you like, an intensive course in poetry before submission deadline!

There are some poetry search engines, I assume, if you know what you’re looking for Of course, for a sci-fi adventure, there’s only one Official Poet: Keats.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

Chapter 2 is out and ready. I'm really enjoying this. =) All feedback will be welcomed. I should probably add this to my signature, eh?

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

[hot_heart]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

Chapter 2 is out and ready. I'm really enjoying this. =) All feedback will be welcomed. I should probably add this to my signature, eh?

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Damn you. First sentence:

"Commander we are an hour out from Omega." Joker's voice echoed throughout the cabin waking Shepard and Miranda from their sleep.

How come you miss the commas after names at the start of a sentence but not before them at the end?

Modifié par hot_heart, 19 juillet 2012 - 09:37 .

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

hot_heart wrote...

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

Chapter 2 is out and ready. I'm really enjoying this. =) All feedback will be welcomed. I should probably add this to my signature, eh?

http://www.fanfictio..._Effect_Refusal

Damn you. First sentence:

"Commander we are an hour out from Omega." Joker's voice echoed throughout the cabin waking Shepard and Miranda from their sleep.

How come you miss the commas after names at the start of a sentence but not before them at the end?

haha F*** sake. Me and commas don't get along. =P I'll edit it, once you've finished your comma crusade. 

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 19 juillet 2012 - 09:40 .

[hot_heart]

Ha, you're on your own now, I'm afraid. I have to try and get my own damnable story written...

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

hot_heart wrote...

Ha, you're on your own now, I'm afraid. I have to try and get my own damnable story written...

Fair enough. Other than the commas though I think it is going well. Plus most people can overlook the "occasional" comma screw up. =P 

[hot_heart]

Yeah, it doesn't hamper reading it or anything. I was just offering advice on simple stuff while I could spare a moment. Not meant as disparagement or anything.