9962 réponses à ce sujet

[Seracen]

Drussius wrote...

MacNasty wrote...

 One more thing. For my fic, I was wondering what you think would be the better option. Do a prologue-type part showing the main villain or something he/she has done a bit before the story started, like why they're evil and the like. Or should I just jump right on into the story? I'm not quite sure yet which to do.

I always struggle with the best way to start a story. So take the following as food for thought rather than a real suggestion:

I think it depends on how you manage to portray the villain. Readers typically have extremely varied opinions on what makes a good villain.

If you decide to start with a taste of his villainy, it might work best if it is not extremely overt, and it ties in with the overall plot of the story. I think it would be a disservice to have your 'bad guy' blow up a shuttle full of women and children just for the sake of saying that he's a bad guy (to use an extremely exaggerated example). However, done right, starting with a little taste of the conflict to come can be a great hook.

On the other hand, it sometimes works better to establish some bit of normalcy for the main protagonist in your story before you jump into the conflict with the villain. Some of the best villains are faceless until late in the story, so that the heroes can't figure out exactly who to put their guns at, but know that someone needs to be stopped, because of all of the horrific things they've set in motion.

Either way can work. I guess all I can really say is that you need to decide which best represents the flavor of your story. Good luck.

Couldn't have said it better myself!  I'd start with some action, but only a taste of things to come.  In fact, in my current work, I just wrote out an entire opening action sequence, and am peppering it throughout the slower exposition on my main characters.

This is allowing me to keep a faster, more exciting pace, while still allowing time to develop story.  I have a tendency to write "slow chapters" and "fast chapters" otherwise.  While this isn't bad, it's nice for me to mix things up, so as not to bore the reader.

By contrast, if I err on the side of action to far, my fight scenes, etc, end up being hollow tiresome excercises in literary wanking...

[fluffywalrus]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

I've been looking but I can't find anything from Mass Effect 1, just ME2 and ME3. I'm looking more for details of the past. Since I play a Sole Survivor, My Shepard said that he saw Toombs get dragged under by the Threasher Maw. So, I need to have that detail. If I remember correctly, The guy who hijacked the Bomb was for the War Hero background because he planned the Skylien Blitz but I don't have a War Hero background so I don't have many details on the sutuation. Same for Major Kyle. I'll keep looking but...

I can't quite recall the Elysium-related mission, however, this wikia article should help

As for the Major Kyle one, he had PTSD and started a cult of biotics. Alliance sent diplomats in to see Major Kyle and they were killed, so Hackett asks you to see to the situation.

[Seracen]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Does anyone have a video of the ME1 Missions that relate to the War Hero, Sole Survivor, and Ruthless Backgrounds? As in, What differs if Shepard has the apropreate background? I want to know as many details about each so things will flow appropreatly.

Yeah, I'm having a devil of a time with my Colonist War Hero.  Mindoir AND Elysium...Batarians and Shep REALLY don't get along.

Still, the wiki helped me make sense of a lot of the info.

For instance, I didn't know that Elanos Haliat was supposed to be Turian, but the game rendered him as human...so, depending on the race, it changes the WHOLE dynamic of race relations. 

Yeah, figuring out who's still around from his past is playing havoc on my backstory.  Moreover, my Shep romanced Jack, who can't have any love for Batarians either...

EDIT: ^ who knew that I could be  ninja'd by a fluffywalrus?  They be deceptively sneaky... (that's an awesome tag, btw!)

Modifié par Seracen, 21 juillet 2012 - 03:49 .

[LanceSolous13]

He was meant to be a Turian? O_o ...That suddenly explains a ton of his motivation.

And, I remember which missions belong to what backstory, but I'm looking for details of how the relate to the backstory. As I recall, Major Kyle was Shepard's commanding officer on Torfan (Ruthless) and one of the reasons why I'm so interested in seeing the differences is so I can proparly build the relationship between the two as to lead into the Major Kyle mission in ME1...If that makes any sense.

Such as, for the moment, I'm considering characterizing Major Kyle as an **** commanding officer for the Torfan arc which will be a stark contrast to his appearence in ME1. He became broken in the years between.

But, should the dialogue between the two if you have the Ruthless background suggests otherwise, I would of course write to fit those details.

[Icyflare]

Bah.I like reading epics but I hate writing them. How do you guys get such high word counts? I get to a thousand words and I'm already tired of writing.

Also, watching I, Robot. The big bad's logic sounds suspiciously similar to a certain Catalyst.

[fluffywalrus]

Haha, yeah, I have a feeling that Bioware took a lot of influence from I, Robot. The logic regarding saving organics from...well, their eventual/potential decisions to make synthetics is...it's proper in a sense because it can be upheld. It fails because it lacks an organic understanding of variability, imo.

As for writing more than 1k words...I do my writing in spurts. Four hundred words here, thirty-six hundred words there. It just happens. Just do it when you feel like writing. It's rare that any of my scenes gets beyond 1500 words, and if any do, it can usually be fractured into smaller pieces through dialogue. Lets me have some flexibility.

[lillitheris]

Icyflare wrote...

Bah.I like reading epics but I hate writing them. How do you guys get such high word counts? I get to a thousand words and I'm already tired of writing.

One chapter at a time.

It’s about the story, for me. I don’t know if I particularly enjoy the writing itself, just the result…so when the story needs to do certain things in a chapter, there’s nothing for it but to write it out.

Still, even a few hundred words can be interesting. It’s all about what you want to say…if you have a short story to tell, go with it. Nothing wrong with that.

If you do have a longer story…well, then it’s just elbow grease

[Icyflare]

I do want to write a longer story, but yeah...elbow grease. It's just exhausting. I keep going back to my writing and cutting out sections because I don't feel I need it. It often feels like one step forward in writing then two steps back editing.

[Seracen]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

He was meant to be a Turian? O_o ...That suddenly explains a ton of his motivation.

And, I remember which missions belong to what backstory, but I'm looking for details of how the relate to the backstory. As I recall, Major Kyle was Shepard's commanding officer on Torfan (Ruthless) and one of the reasons why I'm so interested in seeing the differences is so I can proparly build the relationship between the two as to lead into the Major Kyle mission in ME1...If that makes any sense.

Such as, for the moment, I'm considering characterizing Major Kyle as an **** commanding officer for the Torfan arc which will be a stark contrast to his appearence in ME1. He became broken in the years between.

But, should the dialogue between the two if you have the Ruthless background suggests otherwise, I would of course write to fit those details.

Yeah, I dunno, I think I'll go with Haliat being Turian, and just use Author's Note to bring attention to that when I get to that particular chapter.

As for Major Kyle: he seems at least charismatic enough to lead the biotic cult, so I dunno.  Perhaps you could simply go the way of the competent zealot.

Per the Halo: Flood novel, such an officer was horrible to work for.  Even though he consistently got the job done, he cared little for collateral damage.

Alternately: the barely competent officer, relying on non-CO to do his job, or going insane after witnessing the horrors of what the Batarians did (similar to Zabaleta in the Spacer backstory).

[lillitheris]

*Sigh* Found a few more chapters that were victims of the weird FFN bug a month or whatever back, where it got rid of random punctuation…wish I’d have noticed these earlier.

…

Here’s an interesting dilemma. Originally, when I wrote scenes where Liara is simultaneously dealing with both Eevy and Hannah Shepard, I went for Eevy to differentiate the two. On second read, I think I might change those to mostly refer to Shepard, and ensure that Hannah is either referred to by name or as Admiral, or it’s otherwise unambiguous.

Hannah will refer to her daughter by her given name, of course, but Liara only does so (somewhat subconsciously) in certain mental states, or associations.

Modifié par lillitheris, 21 juillet 2012 - 08:54 .

[fainmaca]

Icyflare wrote...

Bah.I like reading epics but I hate writing them. How do you guys get such high word counts? I get to a thousand words and I'm already tired of writing.

Like Lill and others have said, take it one chapter or in-story event at a time. A story will evolve, grow and change over time, so don't be too rigid about what must happen further down the line. If you have an idea for what you're writing now that (1) doesn't cancel out previously written events and (2) improves the story in some way, then don't be afraid to go with it if it means changing your plans for future events. If you DO have to retcon something previously written, make sure to let your readers know and explain WHY that had to be done. With longer narratives, your readers will grow accustomed to the shape of your story, like a comfy old sweater. A retcon is like taking the sweater in a couple of inches around the chest. It may fit better, but it'll take time for the readers to grow used to the new feel of the garment, and some may find it very jarring to have such a change. Just look at how Bioware changed the theme of the narrative in the final installment. If they'd done it in a more organic way, they'd have avoided most of the uproar. As it was, the sudden change in focus left our suspension of disbelief broken.

One other thing that is important in writing a long story (coming from the guy who has written close to 900k words before even reaching the halfway point) is take regular breaks. I always take a couple of days after every mission chapter just to gather my thoughts again. If you don't do this, you'll burn out and find yourself unable to approach the story again. Writing an epic narrative takes time, so give it plenty.

P.S. In a bit of trivia, apparently ITU has roughly the same word count now as all of the Harry Potter books (except Deathly Hallows) combined. So when do I become richer than the pope?

[Sweawm]

fainmaca wrote...

P.S. In a bit of trivia, apparently ITU has roughly the same word count now as all of the Harry Potter books (except Deathly Hallows) combined. So when do I become richer than the pope?

I've got my own question for the entire group. Has anyone here ever gone and tried their hand at writing their own works? 
I mean, I've tried myself for practice to write stories completely based on my own work. I'm great at creating plot lines and stories, but then there is the gruelling part of putting it altogether and writing it into something is complete. 
I think the greatest thing about Fan Fiction is the fact that you'll have readers readily avalible to read and you can publish it chapter by chapter, so that you can get regular feedback. When writing your own work, you just don't get that much encouragement. 

[fainmaca]

Sweawm wrote...
I've got my own question for the entire group. Has anyone here ever gone and tried their hand at writing their own works? 
I mean, I've tried myself for practice to write stories completely based on my own work. I'm great at creating plot lines and stories, but then there is the gruelling part of putting it altogether and writing it into something is complete. 
I think the greatest thing about Fan Fiction is the fact that you'll have readers readily avalible to read and you can publish it chapter by chapter, so that you can get regular feedback. When writing your own work, you just don't get that much encouragement. 

I'm working on a couple of stories I hope to publish one day. ITU is really just a way for me to gauge whether people want to read my style of writing or not (and also a way to make room in my head for my own work, if that makes any sense. Atm there's too much Mass Effect rolling around in there)

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Icyflare wrote...

Bah.I like reading epics but I hate writing them. How do you guys get such high word counts? I get to a thousand words and I'm already tired of writing.

I originally started out small, less than 2k words because I didn't have any intention for a big/long drawn out story. The original target was 4-5 chapters and finished, hence I cut cut cut jump jump jump whenever I could, without trying to describe/explain anything too much. But then, the images failed to stop flowing and I ended up continuing.

So now each chapter started racking up an average of 3.5 k words because the main path is begining to branch out.

[Lilivati]

Sweawm wrote...

fainmaca wrote...

P.S. In a bit of trivia, apparently ITU has roughly the same word count now as all of the Harry Potter books (except Deathly Hallows) combined. So when do I become richer than the pope?

I've got my own question for the entire group. Has anyone here ever gone and tried their hand at writing their own works? 
I mean, I've tried myself for practice to write stories completely based on my own work. I'm great at creating plot lines and stories, but then there is the gruelling part of putting it altogether and writing it into something is complete. 
I think the greatest thing about Fan Fiction is the fact that you'll have readers readily avalible to read and you can publish it chapter by chapter, so that you can get regular feedback. When writing your own work, you just don't get that much encouragement. 

That's mostly the kind of writing I do, actually.  I'm just really hesitant about sharing it with anyone.  It's one of those things I need to get over.  Fanfic has been easier to share for some reason, I don't know why.  It's not just the ready audience.  I think maybe it feels less personal to me?

Bah.I like reading epics but I hate writing them. How do you guys get such high word counts? I get to a thousand words and I'm already tired of writing.

Practice.  When I first started writing a hundred words was an enormous task.  Now I can sit down and knock out a couple thousand without breaking a sweat, and re-writes and editing is what eats up my time.  (I fiddle too much.)  

Modifié par Lilivati, 21 juillet 2012 - 11:06 .

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Sweawm wrote...


I've got my own question for the entire group. Has anyone here ever gone and tried their hand at writing their own works? 

Negative on this end. I may have ideas/images sometimes but I never did get around to try putting words to them. Too, I don't think I've that much capability to create an original piece of work.

[nitefyre410]

Sweawm wrote...


I've got my own question for the entire group. Has anyone here ever gone and tried their hand at writing their own works? 

Actually yes... the I am working with artist just finished the  the promo art of the two of main characters of the story and I have 20 chapters of the installment outlined  and the introduction started.  I hope to have the first  Chapters out Spring of next year. 

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

I need some pointers on the following paragraph, it is an extract from Chapter 5. I want to make sure that the level of detail is good as well as engaging.

"Garrus was hidden in a two story window when he detonated the explosives. The whole building shook as over 20 devices roared into life. Alarms around the base immediately began, however the noise was dulled by the screams of civilians, much to his displeasure. Garrus pulled out his M-92 Mantis, lodging it into his shoulder. He steadied his aim and fired off a few shots taking down sentries along the perimeter walls. They fell to the ground, one by one. Meanwhile Grunt, the fearless, test-tube, Krogan, began obliterating mercenaries, with his M-300 Claymore. While the mercenaries were concentrating on Grunt, it allowed Garrus to decimate enemy combatants with relative safety. Samara had decided to go for a more subtle approach and was covering the flanks of her squad-mates. Three Eclipse mercenaries had gained access to a nearby rooftop, they were quickly making their way to Garrus, in hopes of removing the squad's tactical advantage. Before they could even fire, Samara had began concentrating her mind to create a mass effect field. Her body was engulfed in a blue shimmering light as she launched a fiery orb in their direction. They were lifted in the air, helplessly waving their arms and legs. Samara removed the M-8 Avenger from her back and shot them with extreme efficiency, as they floated. After she was she each one had passed to the afterlife, she collapsed the biotic field."

What do you think? Any feedback will be appreciated. =)

Personally I find it doesn't flow well enough, and that I should fill conversation in between. If I do that I could possibly add further detail without it being too 'blocky'. Anyway, I need some advise on this.

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 21 juillet 2012 - 12:30 .

[Spiritwolf1]

Sweawm wrote...

fainmaca wrote...

P.S. In a bit of trivia, apparently ITU has roughly the same word count now as all of the Harry Potter books (except Deathly Hallows) combined. So when do I become richer than the pope?

I've got my own question for the entire group. Has anyone here ever gone and tried their hand at writing their own works? 
I mean, I've tried myself for practice to write stories completely based on my own work. I'm great at creating plot lines and stories, but then there is the gruelling part of putting it altogether and writing it into something is complete. 
I think the greatest thing about Fan Fiction is the fact that you'll have readers readily avalible to read and you can publish it chapter by chapter, so that you can get regular feedback. When writing your own work, you just don't get that much encouragement. 

When I am done my fan fic Im going to go back a revisit some stuff I started when I was in High School, good concepts but I was less than I am now when writing.


Other question, Does anyone else read some of the other fan fic then think there's no way you can even compete then like have a hard time continuing... I do this every now and then.

Modifié par Spiritwolf1, 21 juillet 2012 - 12:39 .

[lillitheris]

Spiritwolf1 wrote...

Other question, Does anyone else read some of the other fan fic then think there's no way you can even compete then like have a hard time continuing... I do this every now and then.

If there’s one thing that’s important to understand about the world, it’s this: there is always someone better than you. And that’s OK.

Just try to enjoy their works for what they are, and try to learn from them. See if you can identify the parts that make that particular work stand out for you—vocabulary, characters, fight scenes, whatever—and what you might be able to learn from them.

…

I don’t write, at all. Haven’t, either. I don’t even read that much (certainly more than the average, but that doesn’t take much in this day and age). I’ve had a couple short story bits I’ve thought about writing, but never did. As such, I’m quite happy that I’ve been able to both write reasonably well and keep writing

Modifié par lillitheris, 21 juillet 2012 - 01:04 .

[lillitheris]

[quote]xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I need some pointers on the following paragraph, it is an extract from Chapter 5. I want to make sure that the level of detail is good as well as engaging.

"Garrus was hidden in a two story window when he detonated the explosives.[/quote]

Second-story window, probably

[quote]The whole building shook as over 20 devices roared into life.[/quote]

Perhaps ‘two dozen’? Also, I assume device in this means the explosive, but ‘roaring into life’ evokes an image of a robot waking up for me.

[quote]Alarms around the base immediately began,[/quote]

Began what? Alarms immediately rang out, or began to blare/ring/something.

[quote]however the noise was dulled by the screams of civilians, much to his displeasure.[/quote]

I’d maybe go with ‘…only to be drowned/dulled(?) out’. Also, is Garrus displeased about the civilians getting hurt, or about them drowning out the alarms?

[quote]Garrus pulled out his M-92 Mantis,[/quote]

I’d use either M-92, or Mantis.

[quote]lodging it into his shoulder. He steadied his aim and fired off a few shots taking down sentries along the perimeter walls. They fell to the ground, one by one.[/quote]

This sentence doesn’t work for me…incorporate the falling down directly.

[quote]Meanwhile Grunt, the fearless, test-tube, Krogan, began obliterating mercenaries, with his M-300 Claymore.[/quote]

Drop the commas around test-tube, and after mercenaries.

[quote]While the mercenaries were concentrating on Grunt, it allowed Garrus to decimate enemy combatants with relative safety. Samara had decided to go for a more subtle approach and was covering the flanks of her squad-mates.[/quote]

Probably only one flank, or then you’d want to specify how she moves between them.

Sounds like they didn’t have much of a battle plan?

[quote]Three Eclipse mercenaries had gained access to a nearby rooftop, they were quickly making their way to Garrus, in hopes of removing the squad's tactical advantage.[/quote]

Are all the enemies Eclipse? If so, it’s unnecessary to mention it here.

Which tactical advantage?

[quote]Before they could even fire, Samara had began concentrating her mind to create a mass effect field.[/quote]

Presumably Samara had noticed the three somehow?

I’d personally stick with just calling it biotics, but there’re definitely multiple opinions on the matter.

[quote]Her body was engulfed in a blue shimmering light as she launched a fiery orb in their direction.[/quote]

Actually fiery?

[quote]They were lifted in the air, helplessly waving their arms and legs. [/quote]

This reads a little weird. It’d probably work better if you worked the helplessness into the next part instead.

[quote]Samara removed the M-8 Avenger from her back and shot them with extreme efficiency, as they floated. After she was she each one had passed to the afterlife, she collapsed the biotic field."[/quote]

[quote]Personally I find it doesn't flow well enough, and that I should fill conversation in between. If I do that I could possibly add further detail without it being too 'blocky'. Anyway, I need some advise on this.
[/quote]

Yes, I think you should flesh things out a little, take your time with them. OK, Grunt is obliterating, but how? Where? Is there a bunch of mercs, or are they all split up, or…?

(Disclaimer: I’ve not written a real fight sequence, and will probably be terrible at it.)

Modifié par lillitheris, 21 juillet 2012 - 01:20 .

[fainmaca]

Just been writing a scene, and I went on the internet to compare it to similar ones just to see how it holds up. The internet directed me to a movie that I've never seen before, and it turns out that the scene could be criticised for being copied from said movie. Dang it!

[lillitheris]

fainmaca wrote...

Just been writing a scene, and I went on the internet to compare it to similar ones just to see how it holds up. The internet directed me to a movie that I've never seen before, and it turns out that the scene could be criticised for being copied from said movie. Dang it!

Meh. Everything that’s worth saying has already been said, probably a couple hundred years ago. Go for it.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

lillitheris wrote...

Yes, I think you should flesh things out a little, take your time with them. OK, Grunt is obliterating, but how? Where? Is there a bunch of mercs, or are they all split up, or…?

(Disclaimer: I’ve not written a real fight sequence, and will probably be terrible at it.)

How about this? I've been reading 'Into the Unknown' which has given be a better understanding of writing actions scenes. This is just a small extract to replace the previous one.

The market was surrounded on all sides by two and three story buildings. The Eclipse base overlooked the market, purposefully imposing itself to those below. The base was relatively small, similar in size to outposts across the Galaxy, it had multiple guard towers with sentries keeping an eye on the rabble that scurried through the busy streets. Shop keepers shouted at passing shoppers, trying to persuade them to buy their wares, most simply ignored them and bought what they needed. The majority of the stalls sold clothing or food, but some sold more specialised merchandise. Garrus looked on, waiting for the optimal time to detonate.

“Detonating in 3... 2... 1!” Garrus shouted across the comm.

Two dozen devises exploded across the market, causing chaos. A nearby building collapsed, crushing a market stall. A large ash cloud formed over the local area, covering everything in a wide radius with a fine layer of dust. The majority of civilians managed to escape the scene unharmed, to the relief of the squad. The last thing they wanted was the deaths of innocents on their hands. Garrus ran up a flight up a flight of stairs, making his way to a second story window. 

“I’ll stay here and draw them out! This will be a good fight!” Roared Grunt.

“Samara cover our left flank, I don’t want anyone making it through.” Ordered Garrus.

“Understood.” Samara replied and proceeded to move some debris, using her biotics, to create a barricade. 

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 21 juillet 2012 - 02:47 .

[Lilivati]

Spiritwolf1 wrote...

Other question, Does anyone else read some of the other fan fic then think there's no way you can even compete then like have a hard time continuing... I do this every now and then.

I think everyone does.  The ones that are really good, that make me think "man, I wish I wrote that" or "wow, I could never write like that", aren't the ones that make me want to quit, though.  Those I can just appreciate and move on.  It's the ones I read that seem (to me) to be poorly written, or where I struggle to make it past the first few chapters without losing interest, but still have several times the number of reviews of my stories- those make me crazy.  I don't need reviews for their own sake.  I really don't.  But they're the only public, quantifiable piece of information I have available to compare stories, to gauge "am I doing this right?", and of course knowing that someone is enjoying or not enjoying what I wrote is very useful.  Silence, or relative silence, tells me there's some magic I'm missing, some essential component of storytelling I'm not getting, and I can' t figure out what it is.  That's what crawls inside my head and eats away at my will to keep writing this stuff.