9962 réponses à ce sujet

[hot_heart]

Seracen wrote...
I'm currently writing my Citadel Council scene.  Shepard remarks on how the trees look like cherry blossoms from Japan, though they are clearly larger than anything Earth produced from that species of flora.

I remember those. But in ME3, the Presidium Commons quite deliberately has flora and fauna native to Earth (yes, even those weird bird things, apparently). I didn't really pick up on that until Avina makes a point of it, and now I was giving it some significance in my story, though not much.

[lillitheris]

JamieCOTC wrote...

Mass Effect: Incarceration is now open for judging! The prompt challenged authors to tell the story of their Shepard between the events of Mass Effect: Arrival and Mass Effect 3. The fiction also had to include at least one squademate from any of the three games. Please come by and read the entries. Thanks!

Nice, first half done except for the one in DOCX…quality varies, but the stories have all been reasonably interesting.

My current frontrunner is one with a certain somebody.

Edit: …And finished. Yes, that one was the best. Had to skip the two DOCX ones, though.

Modifié par lillitheris, 24 juillet 2012 - 08:36 .

[lillitheris]

Seracen wrote...

All the time.  I will have a hankering for a particular scene I liked.  I do this in movies and books constantly.

It's almost like playing your favorite level of a video game.

I’m kind of the opposite…I very rarely return to favorite things. There’s so much new stuff that I just don’t. If I’ve seen or read something, I usually remember it well enough. Sometimes there are subtleties that one might miss the first time—I even seem to have included those myself!—so I make some exceptions, but usually specifically look for that stuff, then…

[Spiritwolf1]

There is one story on the FFNET that I have read three times over. High class Hostage http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8122017/1/ I don't think the writer comes here at all but gawd what a great little story that is.

This is actually what got me to write my fan fic.

Modifié par Spiritwolf1, 24 juillet 2012 - 09:08 .

[hot_heart]

This place is dead today.

Currently, I'm at work, just waiting until I can go home and finish this chapter (finally) and get the ball rolling towards the home stretch (actually about 6-7 chapters, but I have it mapped out).

I do find my writing tends to improve if I write the scene in basic terms, sleep on it, then spend some time away, working out ways to deepen/embellish it. Probably the bass ackwards way of looking at it, but oh well...

[lillitheris]

Been dead for a few days…must be the vacations. Two weeks of vacation per year is another thing I don’t much miss. The EU has a much healthier work/life balance.

…

I think that way of working is perfectly fine. It’s useful to get the skeleton done before fleshing it out. One of these days I might actually be patient enough to do that, maybe even sit on chapters for a while. Or maybe not.

Modifié par lillitheris, 24 juillet 2012 - 01:52 .

[hot_heart]

I know a writer who called it 'maturing in wood' (as in, a script sitting in your wooden desk drawer) before giving it another look, later on.

My main problem at the moment is 'concealing' a little twist despite it being first-person. So I'm actually removing bits of information I might otherwise include, while trying not to get too caught up in plot details over something interesting to read.

I'm not entirely satisfied with the current direction of things, but hopefully any shortcomings aren't as obvious to a more casual (read: less obsessive) eye. I remember one story, told in first-person, that kept secret a massive couple of plot details, and I really felt cheated when it all came out. Though it did make for a strangely-satisfying, morose ending.

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

So...with that all said. Anyone else here like to comment on my new chapter?

[MacNasty]

Mr.BlazenGlazen wrote...

So...with that all said. Anyone else here like to comment on my new chapter?

Right, forgot to reply to you on that! It was pretty good, but to me certain parts of the dialogue seemed a bit... forced. Also, on the mako part, the wording seems a bit odd at times, to me at least, as well as there not seeming to be enough details. It's pretty good otherwise though.  One thing that was kind of bothering me though, small thing but still. Prologue, is how it's spelled, not prolouge. Sorry, I have something against bad grammar.

Modifié par MacNasty, 24 juillet 2012 - 05:27 .

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

MacNasty wrote...

Mr.BlazenGlazen wrote...

So...with that all said. Anyone else here like to comment on my new chapter?

Right, forgot to reply to you on that! It was pretty good, but to me certain parts of the dialogue seemed a bit... forced. Also, on the mako part, the wording seems a bit odd at times, to me at least, as well as there not seeming to be enough details. It's pretty good otherwise though.  One thing that was kind of bothering me though, small thing but still. Prologue, is how it's spelled, not prolouge. Sorry, bad grammar is something I have something against.

I'll go ahead and fix that. Thank you.

[hot_heart]

MacNasty wrote...
Sorry, bad grammar is something I have something against.

*snicker* Sorry.

[lillitheris]

hot_heart wrote...

My main problem at the moment is 'concealing' a little twist despite it being first-person. So I'm actually removing bits of information I might otherwise include, while trying not to get too caught up in plot details over something interesting to read.

Interesting. I could see that being difficult to do, especially if you can’t play with distraction removing the focus from the important bits.

Although, that said, I had some trickery in Chapter 3—I meant to confuse identity just for the duration of that section, with the reveal at the end, but many people apparently ended up missing it

[hot_heart]

lillitheris wrote...
Interesting. I could see that being difficult to do, especially if you can’t play with distraction removing the focus from the important bits.

Although, that said, I had some trickery in Chapter 3—I meant to confuse identity just for the duration of that section, with the reveal at the end, but many people apparently ended up missing it

That's why feedback is a wonderful thing. In my case, it does seem like the pace of the writing draws people along enough that they don't mind missing some of the little details. Seriously, I think (my) Miranda's brain is a mess of thoughts bubbling underneath the surface. So, hopefully, I've got a little leeway there.

Sorry to hear yours didn't work out as planned - though, many or most? I can live with 'acceptable losses'. Still, it's certainly worth experimenting with. Guess I'll see the results in a few chapters' time...

Modifié par hot_heart, 24 juillet 2012 - 07:56 .

[lillitheris]

hot_heart wrote...

lillitheris wrote...
Interesting. I could see that being difficult to do, especially if you can’t play with distraction removing the focus from the important bits.

That's why feedback is a wonderful thing. In my case, it does seem like the pace of the writing draws people along enough that they don't mind missing some of the little details. Seriously, I think (my) Miranda's brain is a mess of thoughts bubbling underneath the surface. So, hopefully, I've got a little leeway there.

A quick look (promise, I’ll get to it properly at some point!) tells me that’s probably true…certainly true for something someone else is doing, and probably for something Miranda is. If it gets really dicey with how much you need to obfuscate, you can always use the old literary workhorse: simply state that she’s doing something to prepare, and then reveal it later. Most readers are OK with that.

Sorry to hear yours didn't work out as planned - though, many or most? I can live with 'acceptable losses'. Still, it's certainly worth experimenting with. Guess I'll see the results in a few chapters' time...

I choose to think it worked better than planned It wasn’t a big deal, really, a little initial confusion in the next section probably. And probably not most, though I don’t really have enough consistent feedback—especially back then—to really determine that.

(I’d amend your statement that consistent feedback, at least every two-three chapters, is super-wonderful. Even small things, when you  see them in their context, are wonderfully useful.)

((Edit: and amend my statement to clarify that of course any feedback is, but especially consistent.))

Modifié par lillitheris, 24 juillet 2012 - 08:31 .

[Bahoogasmif]

Hey fellow writers, just wondering if i could get some opinions for "Wings Of FIre"
http://www.fanfictio...1/Wings_Of_Fire

[Seracen]

Bahoogasmif wrote...

Hey fellow writers, just wondering if i could get some opinions for "Wings Of FIre"
http://www.fanfictio...1/Wings_Of_Fire

Only read the first half, but a really compelling read!  I loved the characterizations, spot on!

My only gripe is that you switch tenses a few times (ie: chapter 3, at the end, when Joker is monologuing).

Also, at the beginning, can Garrus see through her helmet, to her expression?  Although, I think it's more awesome that he can tell how pissed off she is without needing to look at her face!

Also, there are a few pop-culture references that may need qualification, as I'm unsure if they'll know "MacGuyver" in the future.

On the other hand, the bit with Garrus's visage to passers by, and Tali's temper and knowledge of human structures...quality stuff there!

My fave quote: something as small as the Citadel exploding wouldn't kill Shepard...HAHAHA!!!

[MacNasty]

Bahoogasmif wrote...

Hey fellow writers, just wondering if i could get some opinions for "Wings Of FIre"
http://www.fanfictio...1/Wings_Of_Fire

Seemed pretty good, though so fire I've only read the first two chapters. Some of the sentences seem to be run-ons though, might help to work on that a bit. Got to say though, you portray Garrus and Tali rather well^_^

[Bahoogasmif]

much appreciated. i like to believe i get better as i go, as the first two chapters are admittedly not my best.

[lillitheris]

MacGyver!

[lillitheris]

Phew. Just wrote probably the hardest two paragraphs I’ve thus far done…not hard emotionally or anything, literally just the writing was tough. They’re not even that important, but I wanted it to come out a certain way, and the words just weren’t there.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

lillitheris wrote...

Phew. Just wrote probably the hardest two paragraphs I’ve thus far done…not hard emotionally or anything, literally just the writing was tough. They’re not even that important, but I wanted it to come out a certain way, and the words just weren’t there.

I'm in the same boat. Just started writing Chapter 3. I know exactly what I want, but putting that into cohenrent setences is a b****.  Maybe it will become easier after a paragraph or two. I can hope. 

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 25 juillet 2012 - 09:57 .

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

I need some quick feedback on something. I've decided to name some of the Cerberus vessels. I wish to know if the naming conventions used make sense to the organisation of Cerberus.
e.g.
Dreadnought - Olympus (The mountain at which the gods reside.)
Carriers - Zeus, Apollo (Greek gods.)
Cruisers - Prometheus, Helios, Hyperion (Greek titans)

Does that sound cool and Cerberus-y?

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 25 juillet 2012 - 10:21 .

[fluffywalrus]

I don't see the harm in doing that. I'd say that your listed conventions make sense, though if I recall Cronos station is named after Cronos, a Greek Titan...which could complicate things.

However, I'm probably not the one to answer this question, I generally accept ship names as whatever people say they are, so long as they seem legitimate.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

fluffywalrus wrote...

I don't see the harm in doing that. I'd say that your listed conventions make sense, though if I recall Cronos station is named after Cronos, a Greek Titan...which could complicate things.

However, I'm probably not the one to answer this question, I generally accept ship names as whatever people say they are, so long as they seem legitimate.

Oh yeah, forgot about Cronos. I could look to Roman mythology instead. Thanks for pointing it out. =)

Modifié par xIxDarkWolfxIx, 25 juillet 2012 - 10:36 .

[fluffywalrus]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

fluffywalrus wrote...

I don't see the harm in doing that. I'd say that your listed conventions make sense, though if I recall Cronos station is named after Cronos, a Greek Titan...which could complicate things.

However, I'm probably not the one to answer this question, I generally accept ship names as whatever people say they are, so long as they seem legitimate.

Oh yeah, forgot about Cronos. I could look to Roman mythology instead. Thanks for pointing it out. =)

I mean, it's not something I think most would pick up on or scrutinize. I think how you laid it out is pretty decent. It's just there's that tiny issue. Roman mythology could work, though.