9962 réponses à ce sujet

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

Hey, anyone here want to beta read Mass Effect 3: Perspective for me? I have one already, though I figure that it's better to have more than one in case I can't get in contact with the other.

I almost finished writing up my chapter. I have some good ideas, but I just think that the wording and flow is off. I'm not sure how to fix it by myself. I'd greatly appreciate it, thank you.

[JadeDragonMTR]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

@Hot_heart. Your story is coming along nicely. It always feels to short, probably a good thing. Leads me to wanting more, haha.

@Everyone. Can I get some advice for writing Liara? I am about to have the meeting aboard the SB Ship, this will be the second/maybe third time aboard. It will be before the chat on the Normandy and they are not romanced. If you need further info read my fic.
Anyway, any advice on how to write her would be appreciated. Mainly little querks she has. Normally I would just write what I feel, but Liara has a huge, incredibly loyal following. I don't want to alienate people by screwing it up. =P

Danke. =)

This is a tough one. I've never played the game as broshep, and have always romanced Liara with my femshep. So my idea of Liara is possiblly quite different from yours. Your chapter 3's conversations are pretty good at sticking to the treats of all characters in ME2, perhaps think Liara as an intelligent and thoughtful friend might help? Or if you give us some idea how you'd want to portrait her, we can provide feedback.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Is there a bug with doc manager in FFN? I keep trying to add horizontal lines to seperate segments of the chapter but sometimes, they never show up, no matter how many times I edited.  

[Ryuu814]

I actually have my own question...for once and when I look at it...it's pretty damn newbie in terms of lore XD.

I'm not quite sure what type of matter Element Zero actually is, the wikia says dust-form or solid matter coming into contact with a dead star but I'd rather know properly than normal guess work. Also the typical ways one would store Eezo.

As for the Liara question I noted that she was still interested in Shepard, but more so for WHAT he embodied. A strong leader and such. It might be just me, but she also just sounded a tad darker. You have to remember Liara went through hell and back to recover Shepard's body and then pretty much waged war on the Shadow Broker, things like that would change a person.

[Mavqt]

Need a hand with this sentence.

"After he had been dealt with, Alestia summoned a throw detonating the rift like a gory firework of blood and innards."

Just doesn't feel... right.

[hot_heart]

mavqt wrote...

Need a hand with this sentence.

"After he had been dealt with, Alestia summoned a throw detonating the rift like a gory firework of blood and innards."

Just doesn't feel... right.

Might just need a comma after 'throw'.

Or maybe shorten the first part to 'Him dealt with,' Though that may be a little controversial.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

mavqt wrote...

Need a hand with this sentence.

"After he had been dealt with, Alestia summoned a throw detonating the rift like a gory firework of blood and innards."

Just doesn't feel... right.

Could try Once, instead of After, entrails instead of innards. And yeah, the comma after the "throw".

Just 2 cents.

[Spiritwolf1]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

Is there a bug with doc manager in FFN? I keep trying to add horizontal lines to seperate segments of the chapter but sometimes, they never show up, no matter how many times I edited.  

Yeah it never accepts it but if you go into the docx manager they have a page break there you can add

[IchikoSakura]

I have finally done it and written my first ME fanfiction.

Since I am no native english speker, I'd like to have a beta reader to iron out the biggests mistakes:)

Is anybody willing to help out? just PM me in case.

The story is non-shep reated. It is based on a few Network News and can be considered wieder ME universe. No original characters, adventure.

[Seracen]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

@Hot_heart. Your story is coming along nicely. It always feels to short, probably a good thing. Leads me to wanting more, haha.

@Everyone. Can I get some advice for writing Liara? I am about to have the meeting aboard the SB Ship, this will be the second/maybe third time aboard. It will be before the chat on the Normandy and they are not romanced. If you need further info read my fic.
Anyway, any advice on how to write her would be appreciated. Mainly little querks she has. Normally I would just write what I feel, but Liara has a huge, incredibly loyal following. I don't want to alienate people by screwing it up. =P

Danke. =)

I always figured Liara to be well spoken, but somewhat unsure of herself.  Even as the SB, when she's oozing self-confidence, Shep can always see past those barriers, since Shep was with Liara since the beginning.

Therefore, I tend to use a confident and varied vocabulary, but not overly so, she's not a snob.  However, extreme personalities will cause her to hesitate sometimes.

Honestly though, that's how I write it, everyone has their own flavor, and unless it's out of left field, one method is as valid as another.

@ Mr.BlazenGlazen : Totally down for reading a few chapters!  I'll be prepping for and working this tax free weekend, so I'm likely to be dead to the world until next week (barring a few jaunts tonight and tomorrow...)

@ IchikoSakura : Welcome!  Congrats on finishing the story, do you have a link?

Modifié par Seracen, 31 juillet 2012 - 04:27 .

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

Sounds good Seracen. Thank you so much. It's pretty crazy that I'm actually getting some support for my story. Just mere months ago I just thought I'd give it a shot and thought people would think it's bullcrap. But I now have almost 20 people supporting it. Along with 1000 anonymous readers each time I post a chapter.

I don't think I've been able to get to this point without the support of the people here. You know who you are. Thank you.

[Drussius]

Spiritwolf1 wrote...

Well crap dammit, have you ever written a whole bunch of stuff and been so envoloved in it that you forgot to save and then the computer just like crashed on you. *Cries*

I feel your pain on this one. About eight years ago, I was seriously working to write a novel with the goal of maybe getting published. I was 27 chapters in when my house was robbed. Computer gone. No backups. 27 chapters and all of my other short stories and such at the time, lost for good. I was actually so crushed that I didn't write anything at all for over a year.

But it taught me a valuable lesson. Backups! Always have backups. Multiple backups. And update them frequently!


Hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was less productive than I would have liked, since my parents dropped in unannounced and decided to stay for the weekend. I love my family dearly, but I have to say that it was more than a little frustrating to find them waiting in my driveway when I got home Friday and have them tell me they're staying until Monday...

Anyway, back to work on my story! I feel bad because I haven't touched it in like four days now!

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

I'm about to finish up my chapter. But I need to have a beta reader or two to take a look at it. Because right now, it sort of reads like a script. I am having a lot of trouble writing proper details into the chapter.

[lillitheris]

Crossposting @mavqt from the Liara thread;

“The man dealt with, Alestia summoned a throw to detonate the rift…”; or

“After dealing with him, Alestia summoned a throw, detonating the rift…”; or, my preference,

“Him dealt with, Alestia threw her biotic energy at the rift, detonating it…”

[lillitheris]

Drussius wrote...

Spiritwolf1 wrote...

Well crap dammit, have you ever written a whole bunch of stuff and been so envoloved in it that you forgot to save and then the computer just like crashed on you. *Cries*

I feel your pain on this one. About eight years ago, I was seriously working to write a novel with the goal of maybe getting published. I was 27 chapters in when my house was robbed. Computer gone. No backups. 27 chapters and all of my other short stories and such at the time, lost for good. I was actually so crushed that I didn't write anything at all for over a year.

But it taught me a valuable lesson. Backups! Always have backups. Multiple backups. And update them frequently!

Also have an offsite backup if you can: every 6 months or so, copy your backup data onto another external harddrive, and take it to work, your parents, or friends… (Or put it in a cloud service like DropBox, iCloud, if you trust them enough…I’d encrypt my data before I did that.)

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was less productive than I would have liked, since my parents dropped in unannounced and decided to stay for the weekend. I love my family dearly, but I have to say that it was more than a little frustrating to find them waiting in my driveway when I got home Friday and have them tell me they're staying until Monday...

Aw :/ I actually had a similar problem for Sunday, hence my decision to just take the entire week off. Have you exhausted all your internet access options?

[Drussius]

^ Yeah, I definitely wouldn't put my files onto a cloud service. I'm a little too paranoid for that sort of thing. But I do have a monthly backup that I store outside of my home, just for safety.

As for the internet thing, still no definitive solution. I'm trying to work a little magic, even if it only buys me an extra month or two, but not sure yet if it will all work out. I'm clinging to the hope that it will.

And lill, I included a shout-out to you in my Author's notes in Chapter 4 of my story, which I just put up. Thanks again for the suggestion on the volus speech.

[Sweawm]

Just was writing on a desktop instead of my own laptop and I've being writing inside of FanFiction's Editor (Crazy, I know), and I saw that now they don't just spell check, but actually have a built in grammer checker as well, so I turned it on...

And my god: is it terrible. It wanted me to swap every word to its less grander equivalent as well as remove almost every common word we use.
It wanted me to change this bit (Here's a small sample of the sentence), by removing the "To"
"-diving to the floor-"
So it would now be:
"-Diving the floor-"
According to the Editor, when I clicked on explain, apparently "To" is unnecessary elaboration so I should remove it, when removing it changes the context the sentence entirely: he was diving the floor?

Now, I don't have to actually use this thing, but it annoys me since I used to use the old Fan Fiction Editor to change my Australian punctuation and spelling to their American equivalents for the wider reading audience and FF.Net's own spelling, but now this new Editor can't even recognize some of the words it used to accept, and gives utterly horrible suggestions.

To sum it up: it feels like the Wheatly equivalent of editors. Filling my head with terrible ideas...

Modifié par Sweawm, 31 juillet 2012 - 08:56 .

[hot_heart]

lillitheris wrote...
my preference,

“Him dealt with, Alestia threw her biotic energy at the rift, detonating it…”

Yeah, I like this best. Wasn't going to say anything but 'summoning a throw' sounds stuck in game language.

[lillitheris]

I actually hadn’t noticed that, Sweawm! Quickly trying it, it does seem a little…over-zealous. It could have some good suggestions, but they might be flooded out if people just start skipping suggestions.

[hot_heart]

OK, because it's quiet, I'm just gonna ask for ideas/thoughts on a subject.

During ME3, the Alliance must have some sort of staging ground before going to war, but the Reapers have completely taken over Sol. Would you say they are now all based at the Citadel or some undisclosed location where the Crucible is being built? I'm assuming the Crucible location is being kept a secret...

I mainly ask because of Miranda being given access to Alliance resources and where exactly she would go. Otherwise I'll just do my usual and keep it vague.

[Drussius]

Well, I don't think they were staging at the Citadel, otherwise Cerberus couldn't have taken control of the station during the coup. They would have had the entire Alliance fleet to get past. I'd say it's the undisclosed location where the Crucible is being constructed. And yes, Wrex did mention that the Alliance was keeping the location secret better than the fact it was being built.

But I don't think Miranda was actually going to the Alliance to do her work. I assumed it was more along the lines of her being able to access Alliance databases and supply lines to get whatever info/tech she needed for the next step in her plan.

Edit: Actually, if the Alliance was staging at the citadel, the Reapers would have wiped them out when they TOOK the citadel. So there's that too.

Modifié par Drussius, 31 juillet 2012 - 10:51 .

[Spiritwolf1]

I think the location of the crucible was a secret, even to us players. I don't remember it ever being mentioned. Ive just loked every where for information on where it was and no one really has any answers and there's nothing in the Wiki. You could make it up or just bevague which is what I usually do when I don't know

[Mavqt]

Silly bloody question.

What sound does a knife make as it enters a body.

Brain fart 101.

'As she swung her arms franticly attempting to punch the Batarian, she noticed the knife still in her hand. Forcing it into the arm holding her up with a satisfying squelch as it peirced his skin.'

Squelch = PH

Modifié par mavqt, 31 juillet 2012 - 11:14 .

[Mavqt]

hot_heart wrote...

OK, because it's quiet, I'm just gonna ask for ideas/thoughts on a subject.

During ME3, the Alliance must have some sort of staging ground before going to war, but the Reapers have completely taken over Sol. Would you say they are now all based at the Citadel or some undisclosed location where the Crucible is being built? I'm assuming the Crucible location is being kept a secret...

I mainly ask because of Miranda being given access to Alliance resources and where exactly she would go. Otherwise I'll just do my usual and keep it vague.

To be honest. I always felt that its location was kept secret even from those who worked on it.

Being picked up at say, the Citadel. Blind folded or something similar, then taken to it via Hackett's instructions.
So only Hackett, the pilots and navigators would know.

Saves the infomation getting in to the wrong hands.

[hot_heart]

Thanks, guys. That makes sense. Hadn't really thought of that Citadel stuff (though they could've beefed up defences after the coup?), and I suppose it has its own fleet if I recall the war asset stuff correctly.

Drussius wrote...
But I don't think Miranda was actually going to the Alliance to do her work. I assumed it was more along the lines of her being able to access Alliance databases and supply lines to get whatever info/tech she needed for the next step in her plan.

Yeah, I figured that. But these databases must be kept somewhere. It's whether they'd set up shop on the Citadel or on some other planet (which means I then have to figure that out. I always hate that part.)

Also, there's an email that appears on Liara's console about Miranda, which could imply that she took an extra fighter-ship-shaped resource. Which I may or may not work in.