9962 réponses à ce sujet

[Cmdr. Ken Shepard]

Wanted to post the link to my rough draft story as is.

http://www.fanfictio...ct_3_Peacemaker

I'm fairly new to all this, and doing it for the therapy of it. Thanks for all the support and help from this thread. Without your help and support I doubt I'd have had the courage to go as far as I have with the story.

[YurigirlzCrush]

hey all. wanted to introduce myself and say what a great idea this thread is. been pestering a poor writer on ff.net with questions about my story idea and writing, and I think they got tired of it. they suggested I come over here for help and advice. *grins* (oh, and if thedeadflag reads this, i'm joking. I really appreciate you putting up with me!)

I look forward to trading ideas with you all. happy writing!

[fluffywalrus]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

hey all. wanted to introduce myself and say what a great idea this thread is. been pestering a poor writer on ff.net with questions about my story idea and writing, and I think they got tired of it. they suggested I come over here for help and advice. *grins* (oh, and if thedeadflag reads this, i'm joking. I really appreciate you putting up with me!)

I look forward to trading ideas with you all. happy writing!

Hahaha, I didn't get tired of it, I just figured that there are better minds than mine to bounce ideas off
Still, it's always fun to brainstorm

Modifié par fluffywalrus, 18 août 2012 - 12:31 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

omg! fluffywalrus? that's such a cute name! why aren't you using it on ff.net too? it's so adorable!

[fluffywalrus]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

omg! fluffywalrus? that's such a cute name! why aren't you using it on ff.net too? it's so adorable!

Someone stole it before I could  It's an inactive account too, it seems (from 2003), so it makes it even more frustrating. Was a collab page for two authors :\\

I'd love to use my regular username there, but alas...it is not to be...

[YurigirlzCrush]

awww. sorry to hear that. at least you got it here. *smiles*

[YurigirlzCrush]

I suppose I should get constructive since i'm here. does anyone have any advice for keeping true to the characters from the game? is there a trick to portraying their personality while writing in your own style?

and p.s. how do you do links? I see people have them at the bottom of their posts. is it normal html coding?

[fluffywalrus]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I suppose I should get constructive since i'm here. does anyone have any advice for keeping true to the characters from the game? is there a trick to portraying their personality while writing in your own style?

and p.s. how do you do links? I see people have them at the bottom of their posts. is it normal html coding?

Just use the left bar and go: Profile->Forum Settings
Then you can enter in whatever signature you want. 

As for keeping in character...I've played the games endlessly, so my way of ensuring I keep to character is to imagine what they say in their voices, and consider whether or not they would say that, or consider what I know of their body language and personality in the game and figure out if they would do ___ or ___.

Outside of that, I kind of wing it. There's never a strict formula for keeping people in character. There's no singular interpretation of each character, merely a foundation of known qualities to build from.

That's my take, at least.

Edit:
Also, because some people aren't the biggest fans of double posting, you can always use the edit option in the forums to add content to a post of yours so that you don't have to make a second post with that content. Easier to just condense it into one

Modifié par fluffywalrus, 18 août 2012 - 01:20 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

oh thank you. I edited my profile when I signed up, but I didn't see the forum options tab before. I don't have anything to link at the moment, but putting links to your stories in your posts like that is a really good idea. I think i'll do that when I have the chance too. if you don't mind me borrowing the idea?

and my b on the double post. i'll spend some time today playing around with posts and figure out the editing and all that.

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

I've hit a wall. I'm hoping that the Leviathan DLC may cause me to jump start. Anywho any idea on getting back on track?

[YurigirlzCrush]

wish I could help you. unfortunately i'm still at the brainstorming and character building stage of my first story, so no secrets of fanfic success to give. but I hope you manage to work through it. maybe play the game a bit to put yourself in the mood?

[Anaki86]

alleyd wrote...

Anaki86 wrote...

alleyd wrote...

I don't know the rules. Is it a step too far to start straight in with an extended sex scene that seems out of place when the storyline kicks off but is essential for the later storyline? 

Just to make sure I'm understanding correctly, are you asking if the story can start off with a sex scene that isn't explained until later in the plot?

Apologies I should have been clearer I hope I do better this time.

I'm writing him as a human with human needs and failings. He talks to his pets and he's kind to his crew. Kelly loves him because he saved her from the collectors She's still damaged and their bonding is meant to heal them both.   

The events are Shepard mind is failing because of exhaustion and stress and he can't share the burden of command even for a second. he needs to be taken out of himself in order to start to heal. The only way I could think to do that is for him to allow a lover the sharing of roles in a love scene. He briefly but willingly let's her have a commanding role because he likes to please his lover and wants to fullfill her desires. In doing so he starts to heal. Its relevence and importance is crucial at that stage

The main adventure starts with Shepard being condemmned to death by the council in chapter 2. The ME2 crew have to hear about this, the normandy is on lockdown and someone has to get the word out about Shepards fate. 

I'm sorry that I'm replying so late, had a long night.

No need to apologize, I just wanted to make sure I understood. I'm not quite sure what rules you were refering to in your original post, but you should definitelty go for it. Write the whole thing out and then have another pair of eyes read it over to see if it makes sense. If it does, great. If it doesn't, go in and tinker around with it. 

I like the idea. 

[Spiritwolf1]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

oh thank you. I edited my profile when I signed up, but I didn't see the forum options tab before. I don't have anything to link at the moment, but putting links to your stories in your posts like that is a really good idea. I think i'll do that when I have the chance too. if you don't mind me borrowing the idea?

and my b on the double post. i'll spend some time today playing around with posts and figure out the editing and all that.

Welcome to the board then, Fluffy is a great source of information and a great writer.

Hope you have fun here, once you figure out how to get your story in your sig, I'll check it out.

[Drussius]

First, to Yurigirl, welcome to the thread! If you come across any problems in your story, this is the place to be. The support here has been invaluable to me, and I'm sure it will be the same for you.

Anaki86 wrote...

alleyd wrote...

Anaki86 wrote...

alleyd wrote...

I don't know the rules. Is it a step too far to start straight in with an extended sex scene that seems out of place when the storyline kicks off but is essential for the later storyline? 

Just to make sure I'm understanding correctly, are you asking if the story can start off with a sex scene that isn't explained until later in the plot?

Apologies I should have been clearer I hope I do better this time.

I'm writing him as a human with human needs and failings. He talks to his pets and he's kind to his crew. Kelly loves him because he saved her from the collectors She's still damaged and their bonding is meant to heal them both.   

The events are Shepard mind is failing because of exhaustion and stress and he can't share the burden of command even for a second. he needs to be taken out of himself in order to start to heal. The only way I could think to do that is for him to allow a lover the sharing of roles in a love scene. He briefly but willingly let's her have a commanding role because he likes to please his lover and wants to fullfill her desires. In doing so he starts to heal. Its relevence and importance is crucial at that stage

The main adventure starts with Shepard being condemmned to death by the council in chapter 2. The ME2 crew have to hear about this, the normandy is on lockdown and someone has to get the word out about Shepards fate. 

I'm sorry that I'm replying so late, had a long night.

No need to apologize, I just wanted to make sure I understood. I'm not quite sure what rules you were refering to in your original post, but you should definitelty go for it. Write the whole thing out and then have another pair of eyes read it over to see if it makes sense. If it does, great. If it doesn't, go in and tinker around with it. 

I like the idea. 

Sounds like an interesting premise for a story, but if you're worried that an "extended sex scene" would be out of place early in the story, perhaps you can allude to their time together without getting too in-depth with it. Although that sounds like it might defeat the purpose you're going for. Or you can concentrate on the lead-in and then leave the real intimate bits unsaid. But I tend to fall into the "less is more" camp when it comes to sex scenes in fiction. Unless that's the whole point of the story, in which case go for it. Some lemon can be enjoyable if that's what the story is supposed to be.

[YurigirlzCrush]

thanks for the welcome, spirit! although I don't have a story yet. at this point I have an outline and some rough character ideas. still a bit to go before I get to the stage of story writing *smiles* and yes, fluffy is awesome!

wow. and how dumb am I? there's this nice little edit option in the corner of my post! how about that. so edit I will! thanks dru too!

Modifié par YurigirlzCrush, 18 août 2012 - 02:45 .

[Obsidian Gryphon]

xIxDarkWolfxIx wrote...

I've hit a wall. I'm hoping that the Leviathan DLC may cause me to jump start. Anywho any idea on getting back on track?

Do something else that you like. Read, watch a movie, play games, sport, etc. Sometimes,  EUREKA!! will hit you and before you know it, you're back writing the story.


@Yurigirlcrush, welcome to the thread.

Modifié par Obsidian Gryphon, 18 août 2012 - 04:42 .

[noxiuniversitas1]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I suppose I should get constructive since i'm here. does anyone have any advice for keeping true to the characters from the game? is there a trick to portraying their personality while writing in your own style?

and p.s. how do you do links? I see people have them at the bottom of their posts. is it normal html coding?

Tbh, as long as you keep their personalities relatively intact, you won't have any problems. God knows I've taken liberties with Tali, Ashley, Kaidan, Joker, Chakwas, Miranda, Kai Leng...

Most readers don't mind mild deviations, as long as the overall goodness/evilness of the characters, as well as their intentions, are relatively preserved.

Well.... I hope they don't mind

[fluffywalrus]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I suppose I should get constructive since i'm here. does anyone have any advice for keeping true to the characters from the game? is there a trick to portraying their personality while writing in your own style?

and p.s. how do you do links? I see people have them at the bottom of their posts. is it normal html coding?

Tbh, as long as you keep their personalities relatively intact, you won't have any problems. God knows I've taken liberties with Tali, Ashley, Kaidan, Joker, Chakwas, Miranda, Kai Leng...

Most readers don't mind mild deviations, as long as the overall goodness/evilness of the characters, as well as their intentions, are relatively preserved.

Well.... I hope they don't mind

But you kept Tali afraid of spiders. Her segment in CH26 of NeV was a wonderful play on one of her funnier characteristics.
You're right, you really just need to be relatively close with regards to their characters personalities. It IS nice to ground them with one of their more well known attributes/characteristics here and then to...I suppose validate what you've done creatively with their character. Your spider bit reminded me of that 'trick' (or technique, as I prefer).

[Anaki86]

alleyd wrote...

I would really like to hear if anyone would be willing to have a read at the first couple of chapters and the draft outline. Yes language is brutal (Especially when you go into Miranda's collapse and hear her inner critic fire off both barrels. Anyone familiar with this experience will know that your head can attack you viciously with self loathing)

the sex is explicit, but crucial. I am squeezing the Lemon a bit and it isn't diet Lemonade, more a heavily laced Limoncello.

I wouldn't mind having a look see, though I will warn you I can be very critical, but I promise that it's strictly in a constructive sense. 

[YurigirlzCrush]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I suppose I should get constructive since i'm here. does anyone have any advice for keeping true to the characters from the game? is there a trick to portraying their personality while writing in your own style?

and p.s. how do you do links? I see people have them at the bottom of their posts. is it normal html coding?

Tbh, as long as you keep their personalities relatively intact, you won't have any problems. God knows I've taken liberties with Tali, Ashley, Kaidan, Joker, Chakwas, Miranda, Kai Leng...

Most readers don't mind mild deviations, as long as the overall goodness/evilness of the characters, as well as their intentions, are relatively preserved.

Well.... I hope they don't mind

omg! salser too? this thread is full of awesome writers! and I agree with fluffy. the bit with Tali and the spider had me laughing pretty hard. is T.A. Blackwell in here somewhere? i'll have to learn which names here go with which writers now.

and thanks for the welcome, obsidian and anyone else that I missed. *smiles*

[lillitheris]

There’s a joke somewhere in constructive criticism about erotica…

[hot_heart]

Cmdr. Ken Shepard wrote...

Wanted to post the link to my rough draft story as is.

http://www.fanfictio...ct_3_Peacemaker

I'm fairly new to all this, and doing it for the therapy of it. Thanks for all the support and help from this thread. Without your help and support I doubt I'd have had the courage to go as far as I have with the story.

First of all, I wouldn't really put rough drafts up on FF.net. I would reserve that for the final, polished-as-can-be product. If you want to link early drafts I think you can send them to other FF.net users or perhaps consider a file-sharing facility like Dropbox or seeing if people don't mind them being emailed over.

I really should read some other people's work first but I had a quick browse and I'll share just a few notes. Unfortunately, as a result, it's none too constructive but maybe it'll help in some regard...

And I'm not sure what sort of input you were after, but here goes...

There's a lack of commas at certain points where they would be useful for separating phrases.

e.g. With the corpses of Reaper ships strewn about after the energy pulse
release from the Crucible even the most green of militia and military
had taken to search, rescue and salvage.

I would put a comma after 'Crucible'. Not sure if there's a general rule on that  (other people here would know better), but I've always just done it that way naturally.

But you do need commas to separate out when someone is being addressed. As in, a comma is required before 'Commander' in this sentence:

It is good to see you are awake Commander.

I presume the change in writing style for the dialogue is simply because it's placeholder for now?

"I don't want to wake up one more time knowing I didn't make you mine."
This is entirely down to your own interpretation, but I can't see Miranda looking kindly on a phrase like 'make you mine'.

"Liara told me you knew about my inability to have children during your
healing. She also helped me find a way to give you a family, if you
decided you want one."
This is a pretty huge reveal and I think she'd be uncomfortable with how he found out. Plus, would Liara just blurt that out?

General notes/errors (by no means comprehensive):
- Earth should be capitalised (which you do later on). Same happens with the Citadel.
- German Shepard is actually 'Shepherd'. And, in speech, someone refers to it at as 'The Dog'. Capitalisation isn't required there.
- I'll is typed out as 'ill' at one point
- Search and rescue, search & rescue - Try to be consistent in your style
- Crucible Pulse + 3 days and Crucible Pulse + 4 days - need to be in bold
- 'he hasn't left your side since he founded you'-  Should be 'found'
- 5 Alliance Marines - should be 'five'
- 'The Salarian's have become' No need for an apostrophe
- 'He was the first when news broke to the council of your being in the
hospital that the Council seat for Humans was rightfully yours.' Not sure what this sentence is saying. I think it needs a split somewhere.
- We ate in a hurried manner to hurry to the Normandy to leave for the wedding. - sounds a little clumsy using variations on 'hurry'.

I imagine a proper draft would eliminate a lot of the minor problems and also perhaps help draw focus to those areas in which you would like feedback.

[hot_heart]

And welcome to all those people who have appeared! Always nice to see some new faces.