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[AgentStark]

Hello everyone! I'm looking for support and reviews for my new Mass Effect story arc idea called Mass Effect: Judgment. It currently does not have this name in the forums, but that's what I am calling it for the time being.

Here is the thread: http://social.biowar.../index/14257607

Please read, review, and give ideas if you want to. This project is already a collaborative effort between myself and other creative artists, so I don't see a reason why anyone else can't get in on it. Thanks!

[lillitheris]

@AgentStark: It looks like you’re writing a game script, essentially? Is that the format you’re taking, too, or…?

…

Spurred by the previous exchange, I counted: I have 113 named characters in Unity. Not manually, of course, just an :'<,'>!ack '<br>' | wc -l

Modifié par lillitheris, 27 septembre 2012 - 07:58 .

[AgentStark]

@ lillitheris: I had a dream a long time ago about a possible story after the events of Mass Effect 3. It involved a new unified military with all of the core races of the galaxy and the threat of Cerberus returning. The next morning, I wrote an outline of what it was and then started adding on bits and pieces from there. So the idea itself essential evolved from a simple ME based fan-fiction to an entirely possible future for the Mass Effect series. I've taken a lot of the choices into account such as Ash or Kaidan as an Admiral in the Alliance Military, who would become the next Councilor of each race, how to bring back favorite races like the Geth.

Eventually, the thought crossed my mind to submit this idea in a place where Bioware would easily be able to come across it if it catches interest. If they don't use it, that's fine. That won't stop me from working on this and trying to finish it by the time ME4 comes out. I've been working for almost a year on this and have gone through at least five different plotline changes that required me to re-write the first three chapters, but right now Ive got an outline that looks like it will fit.

EDIT: Im going to post the first chapter tonight and the next chapter tomorrow.

Modifié par AgentStark, 26 septembre 2012 - 07:33 .

[hot_heart]

lillitheris wrote...
Down to very few readable threads here on the forums

They all have their mix of bad and good.

Except this one. It's all good.

An internet first?

@AgentStark
I saw you put your story up on FF.net. First piece of advice would be to try and sort the formatting into something more readable. I think large chunks of text might be very off-putting to a new reader.

Modifié par hot_heart, 26 septembre 2012 - 08:49 .

[brettc893]

So I was thinking about doing a thing that's not really a fanfic, but more of a written parody of the games.

It would be called(Unless I come up with Something Better): "Half as Long, Just as Bright."

The story would just basically be a Monty Pythonesque retelling of the story in which the characters point out plot holes, comment on nonsensical things, have hilarious inner monologues etc, etc.

I Did something similar with Fallout; New Vegas over on the Bethesda Forums before I was banned(**** those guys) and the whole thing was deleted.(Like 10 updates, thousands of words) But it was overwhelmingly positive when it came to reviews and I had a little fanbase.

Anyway, first off, I'm not sure anyone here would read if, what with most of the stuff here being of the more serious nature, and secondly, I'm not sure If I want to do the whole trilogy starting with 1, or just 3, or what.

So, any feed back on whether it would be a good idea/where to start would be great.

And for the record, it wouldn't be a Hate Fueled thing, more of a poking fun with love type thing.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

AustereLemur799 wrote...

You too? lilitheris left yesterday. So now I've got no one to have my back in the Liara thread... Actually I just killed the thread after a long-winded rambling about Ardat-Yakshi - that was before I could speculate about Prothean manipulation. Hmm, the intrigue...

Oh, did she?   I used to lurk around there but then the old guard seemed to disappear and everything changed. Not necessarly for the better, unfortunately but I'd not touch on what it is. Everyone has their own apples and oranges. So, I leave. Simple.

Cheers for the boost. I can only say I hope you will find the fuel to fire up your own engines. So what did you say about the AY? You think the Prothean wanted to make the Asari go the same way as the Rachni? That would be terrible. But then..Protheans...


P.S.  I think the planned trilogy release is a joke. I also notice the promo didn't even state if the DLCs are included. With so much bad press, I wonder how many will "jump" off the shelves.

Modifié par Obsidian Gryphon, 27 septembre 2012 - 01:38 .

[His Name was HYR!!]

So.... this story I'm writing.... apart from a completely vague idea of: [big/dramatic mission, needs to be accomplished, or bad consequences will happen] ..... I really have no solid plan for how it ends.

You could say I'm pulling a Bioware/ME3 on my story.

Basically challenging myself to pull a rabbit out of a hat at the last minute with something I'm very amateur at. Sounds like a pretty terrible idea, right? I'm flirting with disaster big-time. So I'm pretty exhilarated to keep writing and see what I do when I get there. Should be interesting!

[lillitheris]

hot_heart wrote...

lillitheris wrote...
Down to very few readable threads here on the forums

They all have their mix of bad and good.

Except this one. It's all good.

An internet first?

Well, I did anger Drussius that one time (sorry!), so I think the elusive thread is still out there in the future…

[fainmaca]

lillitheris wrote...
Yes, the Liara thread’s gotten a little juvenile for my taste. Down to very few readable threads here on the forums

And yet sometimes I just can't help myself and end up killing off a few more brain cells...

Been a hell of a summer for me. I think I can count on one hand the number of days off work I've had since March. Really need to get back on the writing horse, but its difficult to get the energy up. Especially when BW does so much to drain your enthusiasm for the franchise away.

I've had some brilliant ideas recently, though. One story arc is building in my head that will involve a lot of Liara. That should keep a few of my readers happy.

In other news, I've learned to never state an opinion in your author's notes. Ever. hardly any new reviews on my latest update, but plenty of people coming along to correct me on my views of Leviathan. Anybody else ever find that they need to avoid mentioning any opinions on the canon material for fear of backlash?

On the plus side, i had somebody leave a few comments that were very helpful. He's pointed out that my story has issues with predictability and that my Reapers tend to use tactics that sometimes seem a little stupid. Now with the second one I actually know what their plan is, but there's so much left of the story that will reveal their strategy, so I guess it can feel like I'm not providing an adequate explanation.

Anyone else have issues with predictability/ making the plans of the villains vague enough to be mysterious without making them seem illogical? Advice?

[AgentStark]

hot_heart wrote...

lillitheris wrote...
Down to very few readable threads here on the forums

They all have their mix of bad and good.

Except this one. It's all good.

An internet first?

@AgentStark
I saw you put your story up on FF.net. First piece of advice would be to try and sort the formatting into something more readable. I think large chunks of text might be very off-putting to a new reader.

Thank you for the kind words of advice. I'll see what I can do about formatting. Other that, how was it so far?

[Tairis Deamhan]

fainmaca wrote...

In other news, I've learned to never state an opinion in your author's notes. Ever. hardly any new reviews on my latest update, but plenty of people coming along to correct me on my views of Leviathan. Anybody else ever find that they need to avoid mentioning any opinions on the canon material for fear of backlash?

I don't put a ton of opinions or the like into my vary sparse AN due to I feel it isn't relevant to the story. If people wanted to read my personal opinions I'd have a blog. On the other hand if I do feel the need to say something I'm not going to shy away from it because someone might not like it.

On the plus side, i had somebody leave a few comments that were very helpful. He's pointed out that my story has issues with predictability and that my Reapers tend to use tactics that sometimes seem a little stupid. Now with the second one I actually know what their plan is, but there's so much left of the story that will reveal their strategy, so I guess it can feel like I'm not providing an adequate explanation.

Anyone else have issues with predictability/ making the plans of the villains vague enough to be mysterious without making them seem illogical? Advice?

Well if you're using canon Reapers... they are kind of stupid.

As for making them seem logical, well... build the plan for whatever they're doing in the background. The reader might not see it but if it follows their internal logic then I fail to see the issue.

[AustereLemur799]

Just popping in to pose a quick question (I refuse to let the BSN sidetrack me!).

Does anyone know what an omni-tool is? I'm not talking about functions. I mean, the wiki says it is a hand-held device. I know it appears as a orange holographic interface over a person's wrist/arm. But is there some sort of sub-dermal implant involved?

Sub-dermal implants can't exactly be confiscated, so that would require me to rewrite a lot of things in the chapter I'm writing - and I would really, really rather not have to do that...

[Spiritwolf1]

I always firgured it was the gloved or gaunlets or in some part of the equipment

[AustereLemur799]

^ It looks that way, yes. If nothing else, I could always go down the less technologically-advanced route for ME1 and say that the sub-dermal implants came in later in ME2 and 3, because of the future and all.

Thanks for getting back to me

[lillitheris]

Make it whatever makes sense. I haven’t elaborated on the physical design even in headcanon except that there is some physical component, too. Something like a bracelet, maybe.

[AustereLemur799]

Physical component. Yes, that's good. I've just got a scene where Tali's belongings get confiscated from her (including her omni-tool). When talking to a C-Sec officer, she mentions that if only she could have her omni-tool back. But, then, I hadn't really established what omni-tools were. I do think they have some sort of sub dermal component, but that would kill things for my story.

Oh well, I'll just have to 'adapt' it so that it fits. Lore be damned.

Thanks for the advice.

[fainmaca]

AustereLemur799 wrote...

Just popping in to pose a quick question (I refuse to let the BSN sidetrack me!).

Does anyone know what an omni-tool is? I'm not talking about functions. I mean, the wiki says it is a hand-held device. I know it appears as a orange holographic interface over a person's wrist/arm. But is there some sort of sub-dermal implant involved?

Sub-dermal implants can't exactly be confiscated, so that would require me to rewrite a lot of things in the chapter I'm writing - and I would really, really rather not have to do that...

I tend to headcanon them as a sort of fingerless glove composed of a mesh of ultra-thin wires and tiny emitters. Easy to slip on and off, therefore easy to confiscate, but also a subtle enough thing that it explains why we don't see them in-game (save for the glowy thingy).

There is actually some kind of explanation about how you interact with holographic devices in the codex involving sub-dermal implants, but this could be separate to the actual 'tool, much like carrying a keyboard around with you that can plug into and computer system from your work desktop to your handheld device.

I do think, however, that making it capable of creating a solid object like the omni-blade is a little silly. Kinda steps over into the bounds of space magic.

[lillitheris]

^ The subdermal implants thing is pretty silly, since even today you could track motion well enough with a camera. I find it hard to believe that there’s been no advance there in 200 years.

[fainmaca]

Tairis Deamhan wrote...
I don't put a ton of opinions or the like into my vary sparse AN due to I feel it isn't relevant to the story. If people wanted to read my personal opinions I'd have a blog. On the other hand if I do feel the need to say something I'm not going to shy away from it because someone might not like it.

I suppose given the story I'm writing (alternate ME3 prediction that is now a 'how it should have happened' story) its kind of expected of me to post my opinions on the canon. Especially seeing as I just finished a story arc that took six months of writing relating my own story of what Leviathan was about (spoiler: it had nothing to do with any starbrat). Combine that with requests for my thoughts on Javik as opposed to my own Collector character (something I wrote up before a Prothean had even been hinted at), comparisons between my All-Thresher and Kalros, my vastly different prediction of what Falere would be like and the role Cerberus plays in my story vs Bioware's, and I get a lot of people asking what I thought of plot X or character Y or outcome Z.

Well if you're using canon Reapers... they are kind of stupid.

As for making them seem logical, well... build the plan for whatever they're doing in the background. The reader might not see it but if it follows their internal logic then I fail to see the issue.

I'd hesitate to call them stupid. Just... straightforward. They don't use tactics or strategies, they just advance.

I think what I need to do is guide the readers to the revelation of what is really going on. Have it be obscure and initially it can be seen to be stupid or illogical, but ultimately reveal the vast array of strings behind the scenes that have been worked into some kind of master stroke to bring the Commander and everything the reader has come to accept crumbling down.

...That's the dream, anyway.

[fainmaca]

lillitheris wrote...

^ The subdermal implants thing is pretty silly, since even today you could track motion well enough with a camera. I find it hard to believe that there’s been no advance there in 200 years.

Actually (going by memory here, so forgive any mistakes) I seem to recall the sub-dermal thing being optional rather than required. kind of like people who trick out their computers in all kinds of strange ways to eke out an extra ounce of performance and so on. I can imagine in the future such modifications extending to body mods and everything.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

I put my opinion about ME3 in my profile though.   Leviathan do not exist in my story, hence, I don't say anything about them. Whatever is going to happen in the Omega DLC will also have no place.

I avoid explaning ME3 tech. If there's something tangible in the wiki, I'll use it. Otherwise, it's hands off.

On villains. Not using Reapers. They're aready gone. In my story, I'm mostly running circles on mysteries of the past - Protheans and how they affect a particular race.

[AustereLemur799]

fainmaca wrote...

I tend to headcanon them as a sort of fingerless glove composed of a mesh of ultra-thin wires and tiny emitters. Easy to slip on and off, therefore easy to confiscate, but also a subtle enough thing that it explains why we don't see them in-game (save for the glowy thingy).

There is actually some kind of explanation about how you interact with holographic devices in the codex involving sub-dermal implants, but this could be separate to the actual 'tool, much like carrying a keyboard around with you that can plug into and computer system from your work desktop to your handheld device.

I do think, however, that making it capable of creating a solid object like the omni-blade is a little silly. Kinda steps over into the bounds of space magic.

I guess I tend to over-think things. Like would you wear it when going to the toilet or going to bed? I know that they appear as objects like gauntlets in the ME1 inventory, so I guess it's seperate from your actual body.

The other thing about interfacing with holographic technology is something called a Haptic Adaptive Interface. I did manage to mention it in an earlier chapter about Joker getting a sub-dermal implant (as hardcore pilots do) rather than wearing gloves (and getting the infamous weird glove smell!).

Agree about the omni-blade. But, yes, space magic explains everything!

Eh, can't be bothered to put this off any longer. I'm making the omni-tool like a watch (it needs to have a mini computer after all). Hopefully no one reading it will care.

But thank you everyone for your advice and suggestions.

Now wish me luck to get all this down. Usually when I breach a certain word count barrier in a chapter, the rest flows naturally. This time, however, I'm putting a match to the fire but it's just not lighting

[AustereLemur799]

fainmaca wrote...

Tairis Deamhan wrote...
Well if you're using canon Reapers... they are kind of stupid.

As for making them seem logical, well... build the plan for whatever they're doing in the background. The reader might not see it but if it follows their internal logic then I fail to see the issue.

I'd hesitate to call them stupid. Just... straightforward. They don't use tactics or strategies, they just advance.

I don't know how intelligent or capable of independent thought and reasoning the Reaper troops are. From Grayson we know that that Reapers make suggestions which are compelling enough from the indoctrination to make him carry them out.

In MP it always makes me laugh when you get the objective wave to kill the VIPs. I fail to see how a Cannibal would be an important military leader in the Reaper contingent. Unless it was an avatar for Harbinger or something.

I think the Reaper slaves are only as intelligent as the Reapers controlling them (that makes total sense ). Hopefully you know what I mean.

Modifié par AustereLemur799, 27 septembre 2012 - 04:43 .

[Soirreb]

Howdy fellow fanfic writers!

I was wondering if anyone happened to have a list of (or have a link to) any handy writing tips? I'm starting to get into fanfic writing myself, and I'd like to save my potential editors/betas some effort when it comes to evaluating my writing.

[Spiritwolf1]

Welcome to the club, I think you can find writing tip anywhere on the web, it's hard to give out tips without knowing your style. My only tip is to just remember its your story in your head so have fun with it. People have different views on plotting before you write vs non plotting before you write. Me I had a few main scene in a certain order and pretty much built up to them. Fluffy had a good idea and while you write, jot down important fact as you go along so you dont have to go back and search what you have written.

Other then that it's all in practise.

Also Betas are hard to come by. I've now had two people volunteer and seen nothing from either of them so...

Modifié par Spiritwolf1, 27 septembre 2012 - 04:56 .