9962 réponses à ce sujet

[MrStoob]

hot_heart wrote...
In personal news: Aww, I got another nice review, but it's from a guest so I can't reply with a thank you.

I hate that lol.  I had a nice regular guest reviewer who always signed their name (TY 'Hopelessly Blue').  Then they stopped reading/reviewing for a time.  Now I have a 'new' anon reviewer who hasn't signed so I don't know if it's the same person or not.  HB used to pose questions in his/her reviews and frustratingly I could never answer them.  Didn't quite get why they would name themselves so their individual reviews would be identifiable, but not create a user for correspondence.  That said, they must have had a user to watch for new chapters the haste with which they used to post reviews.  Anyhoo... waffle waffle blah.

[Spiritwolf1]

Ahh my first bad review, I knew it was coming. I was far to lucky with my first story... Cant help it though if people don't like the concept.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

I glanced through it. He has a point. If the chars are mostly OC, the Liara and Shep(F) tag has to be changed. I have to admit I have some inkling of what's going in (and yet in the dark), only that somehow travelling to other galaxies is possible through the O4R. Thing is, perhaps you could try smoothing out the rhythm of the chapter. It's coming across as a little choppy.

[Spiritwolf1]

I took the tag off awhile ago so thats gone. I explained most of what happened with the O4R in Turnabout I guess I could do better here, though in the long run it won't mean much since it was pretty much the means to an end. Ill have to re wrok it I guess, thanks for the insight

[Icyflare]

Hmmm...should we celebrate the 200 pages? I feel like we should....or not. Anyways, congrats Spiritwolf1 on your finished fic.

[Spiritwolf1]

Thank you and everyone for the pats on the back

[Spiritwolf1]

LOL I just spent a good five minute in the wrong forum looking for this thread and getting frustrated. I hate midnights. Anyway I went over my first chapter and redid a bit of it or added in something. I dont know about the choppy though, that could just be my horrible style thanks though Obs G. for the insight,

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Mysteriousy, firefox refused to let me log in to this site. I used IE and I came in. Weird! Something foxy going on.

@Spiritwolf1, I'm sorry if I was oblique when I said it's choppy. It's a combination of spelling and strange phrases. Like ..

She planned on running when they found a planet that she could live on, alone, with no one but natives to bug her.


At first, I didn't quite get it until much later.  And there raise a myriad of problems for this char which was not expanded on. One, would the shuttle even land on the planet? If not, how was she to get off? If they land and she disappeared, that's calling attention to the incident. News vids, etc, etc. An outcry. How could this touring company fail to keep their customers safe! That kind of defeats her intention to slip off quietly. If she intended to do so anyway, best to pick a bunch of natives that could eat a Krogan.

Neither of them had space fairing races. - is another one.

I should think shuttles in the ME universe would have onboard screens. Even if everyone doesn't have one hanging right before their heads, there would be one or two everyone can see. Or better yet? Linked in to their omni-tools if they're too lazy. Granted, I see the need to have people crowd the char in their desire to see the sights but it sounded somewhat off. Too, as a Krogan, I think a little more expansion is needed on her emotions.

Ermm...Krogan, who'd want to go too near?  

Ahh..just a few points.


P.S. On a sad note .... Valen is dead.   RIP Michael O'Hare.

That makes it 4 of the B5 cast who have passed away.

Andreas Katsulas - G'Kar
Tim Choate - Zathraas
Richard Biggs - Dr Frankln
Michael O' Hare - Commander Sinclair / Valen

Modifié par Obsidian Gryphon, 02 octobre 2012 - 01:15 .

[Spiritwolf1]

Thanks for clarifying. I see your points and will work that out. As for the motives of the krogan I didn't want to just blurt all if her motivations right off the bat. I could I guess but it would leave the reader nothing to ponder. No mystery. Anyway good points all and I'll work on that. Great input helps me flesh out the story and it is appreciated honestly

[Tairis Deamhan]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

P.S. On a sad note .... Valen is dead.   RIP Michael O'Hare.

That makes it 4 of the B5 cast who have passed away.

Andreas Katsulas - G'Kar
Tim Choate - Zathraas
Richard Biggs - Dr Frankln
Michael O' Hare - Commander Sinclair / Valen

It's a shame how many of them are gone, all too damn early.

[Spiritwolf1]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

Mysteriousy, firefox refused to let me log in to this site. I used IE and I came in. Weird! Something foxy going on.

@Spiritwolf1, I'm sorry if I was oblique when I said it's choppy. It's a combination of spelling and strange phrases. Like ..

She planned on running when they found a planet that she could live on, alone, with no one but natives to bug her.


At first, I didn't quite get it until much later.  And there raise a myriad of problems for this char which was not expanded on. One, would the shuttle even land on the planet? If not, how was she to get off? If they land and she disappeared, that's calling attention to the incident. News vids, etc, etc. An outcry. How could this touring company fail to keep their customers safe! That kind of defeats her intention to slip off quietly. If she intended to do so anyway, best to pick a bunch of natives that could eat a Krogan.

Neither of them had space fairing races. - is another one.

I should think shuttles in the ME universe would have onboard screens. Even if everyone doesn't have one hanging right before their heads, there would be one or two everyone can see. Or better yet? Linked in to their omni-tools if they're too lazy. Granted, I see the need to have people crowd the char in their desire to see the sights but it sounded somewhat off. Too, as a Krogan, I think a little more expansion is needed on her emotions.

Ermm...Krogan, who'd want to go too near?  

Ahh..just a few points.

Well I took most of what you said and reworked it. Thanks for the insight, it really did help.

[fainmaca]

Spiritwolf1 wrote...

Ahh my first bad review, I knew it was coming. I was far to lucky with my first story... Cant help it though if people don't like the concept.

It happens. The important thing is to evaluate it with a level head.

My first ever review was a pretty negative one, but he had some valid points. My Cerberus was acting a little stupid, and the story was slipping close to giving them too much power and focus in the story (and we all saw how that turned out for Bioware a year and a half later, so the points were really valid).

The fact is, you're better off with a negative review that doesn't hold back on pointing out where you need work rather than a dozen congratulations that do nothing but inflate the ego. Sure, some of the latter is nice, but without the former (and acting upon it!) you'll never improve as a creative artist. kind of the whole point of the review system.

The best ones of all are honestly closer to neutral than anything else. They'll tell you what works and commend you for that, but then they'll also pick apart what fails, occasionally with wording that you may initially find hard to take.

[AustereLemur799]

So yesterday I read a story (I'm finally getting out of my reading slump now that I'm moving out of home and would rather read other people's work than write my own) and clicked on the reviews afterwards since I was considering leaving my own.

Then I saw a comment from another reviewer that I happen to disagree with - and it was a point on lore. I wanted to point out that I thought that they were mistaken, but then I'm not sure how good/nice it is to potentially start an academic argument on an author's review page.

If nothing else I thought that I could stand up for the author in case this other review had potentially dampened their spirits about writing - I can't be sure, but I think they may have even abandoned the story in question, which is sad.

I don't know. To me the tone of this bad review seemed quite terse and definitive - I know I would've felt like I was getting told off had I been the subject of the review.

Anyone got any thoughts on this or had a similar situation with your reviewers?

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Tairis Deamhan wrote...

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

P.S. On a sad note .... Valen is dead.   RIP Michael O'Hare.

That makes it 4 of the B5 cast who have passed away.

Andreas Katsulas - G'Kar
Tim Choate - Zathraas
Richard Biggs - Dr Frankln
Michael O' Hare - Commander Sinclair / Valen

It's a shame how many of them are gone, all too damn early.

True.   I missed one, how can I! *slaps self*

Five of them, not four.

Andreas Katsulas - G'Kar
Tim Choate - Zathraas
Richard Biggs - Dr Frankln
Jeff Conaway - Zack Allen
Michael O' Hare - Commander Sinclair / Valen

Heh, everytime I see J. Conaway on B5, I think of Grease. 

[Obsidian Gryphon]

AustereLemur799 wrote...

So yesterday I read a story (I'm finally getting out of my reading slump now that I'm moving out of home and would rather read other people's work than write my own) and clicked on the reviews afterwards since I was considering leaving my own.

Then I saw a comment from another reviewer that I happen to disagree with - and it was a point on lore. I wanted to point out that I thought that they were mistaken, but then I'm not sure how good/nice it is to potentially start an academic argument on an author's review page.

If nothing else I thought that I could stand up for the author in case this other review had potentially dampened their spirits about writing - I can't be sure, but I think they may have even abandoned the story in question, which is sad.

I don't know. To me the tone of this bad review seemed quite terse and definitive - I know I would've felt like I was getting told off had I been the subject of the review.

Anyone got any thoughts on this or had a similar situation with your reviewers?

Thus far, I've only gotten positives from the 2 constant reviewers. I had one who didn't say anything bad, just pointers on my spelling and the opinion that I'm veering away from the main theme of my story. He/she also offers to help in ediiting, etc but I've to refuse it as I've a feeling we may end up clashing.

Given the nature of my story, I'd probably not get any serious bashing.

[AgentStark]

Im thinking about starting from the beginning on my fanfic and re-doing the plot.

Instead, it would take place during the Reaper War. Same characters, different ways of introduction.

Admiral Xen'Daro has a crew on the Alleri looking for ways to control the Reapers. Jared Regan & company aid them when Cerberus Attacks. New plotline - Take out Cerberus cell before they find a way to indoctrinate people faster. Instead of having a Citadel fleet thing, Admiral Anderson would have Regan recruit a team (his crew will be killed off minus two squad members) to take out Cerberus.

What do you think?

[Spiritwolf1]

A lot of it would depend on how far into the story you are and if you have followers. We actually just talked about this last page. Reworking everything before finishing just might upset the readers you do have if your too far in and they are already invested.

[AgentStark]

That's the thing, I have only two readers. I just thought it would make sense not to try and predict something that may be completely different than what I expect it to be

Modifié par AgentStark, 02 octobre 2012 - 05:43 .

[Spiritwolf1]

And how far are you into the story

If its far I would finish it then think about redoing it. A dedicated reader and reviewer is hard to find and you should grab a hold of them and if they are happy let them be happy. Dont anger them by making them have to go back and re read the whole story again, you just might loose the two you have.

[fluffywalrus]

Happy 200! YAY

And I agree...if you're fer into the story, redoing it would be a hard move to accept as a reader. If you're only just starting it, then perhaps send a message to those who are following/have reviewed your story and let them know about the oncoming change.

[AgentStark]

One chapter. That is all.

[Spiritwolf1]

Im with Fluffy if your going to redo your chapter that much, I would let them know

[MrStoob]

Oh. I was top post on page 200 and didn't do a thing lol. Sorry. I even pondered if top post was supposed to do anything on this thread too. Ah well.

Happy 200th page everyone.

[Drussius]

Happy 200th page of posts! Cake and cookies for everyone! But only one piece/two cookies. Then it's back to work on your stories. All of you! No slacking.

[fluffywalrus]

Drussius wrote...

Happy 200th page of posts! Cake and cookies for everyone! But only one piece/two cookies. Then it's back to work on your stories. All of you! No slacking.