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[nrobbiec]

Hey anyone/everyone I need a quick logic check. I'm working on my revamped epilogue fic and the first chapter is side characters fighting on the Citadel while Shepard is busy dealing with the Catalyst but is this possible at that time? I'm using like shielded panic rooms so some characters can survive but would they need be in them before the Wards are fully extended or just before the Crucible is fired?

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Anything is plausible since there are no images or statements to affirm that every one is dead on the Citadel.

[MrStoob]

nrobbiec wrote...

Hey anyone/everyone I need a quick logic check. I'm working on my revamped epilogue fic and the first chapter is side characters fighting on the Citadel while Shepard is busy dealing with the Catalyst but is this possible at that time? I'm using like shielded panic rooms so some characters can survive but would they need be in them before the Wards are fully extended or just before the Crucible is fired?

I've seen a fic where Shep is contacted by a resistance force aboard the Citadel when he/she goes up the conduit and it played okay.  Anything is possible where there are blanks in the 'lore'.

[MrStoob]

Meh, that didn't go well lol.

Created a difficult 'love triangle' and one reviewer is calling X a 'hooker', because she partnered with Y after 30 years of thinking Z was dead.  Though most are unimpressed with the chapter dealing with it, despite saying the writing was still good. 

Can't please everyone, I suppose.

Modifié par MrStoob, 14 février 2013 - 10:43 .

[hot_heart]

"Damnit this chapter was balls! But your writing is still great, next chapter!"

Haha. Wish I got reviews like that. (No, I don't).

I would be tempted to forward that to @fanfiction_txt, but trust me, I won't.

Modifié par hot_heart, 14 février 2013 - 11:10 .

[MrStoob]

lol hottie. Fill your boots if you want to post (promote...) ha!

Not certain if the problem is specifically due to the love triangle or my handling of it or what. I do pm my readers if their reviews warrant a further query. No reply from that particular person as yet. I had to call him on calling the character a 'hooker'. The situation in the story is nobody's fault.

Modifié par MrStoob, 14 février 2013 - 11:48 .

[fluffywalrus]

I think it's a bit much to call any character a hooker, at least as an insult :\\ Not really an elegant or useful way to describe someone.

[MrStoob]

They pm'd back and said they just don't like VS. That's something I suppose. Seems a lot of the probs is they (2 specific reviewers) just don't like the scenario. So if I'm honest, I've sort of achieved what I intended, I just didn't expect such strong reactions.

[MrStoob]

Me again lol.

I've possibly got the source of one of the probs that people are talking about, i.e. they didn't read one of the chapters properly because most of it was a character in 'deep thinking' and pure prose.  It's a bit chunk of text without dialogue.  I set some very clear premises in all that but to question me bringing it up now just indicates to me that they didn't read it, or only skimmed it.  To wit:

*Spoiler* *Spoiler* *Spoiler*

Premise from chapter 3: Shepard was indoctrinated during the Citadel incident but can fight it more than most but is now under her own control.  I must add, this is not anything to do with IT nonsense. Hehe.
Current chapter: melding happens and Liara sees it in her.

Reviewers:"...indoctrinated? couldn't think of a different term? True indoctrination would make her a.. uh husk"1st of all.  Wrong.  True indoctrination does not make someone a husk.
"...is she right i'm a little lost here on this part."Evidently didn't read chapt 3 properly.


This is frustrating.  I'm even considering posting the next chapter that says only 'Everyone go back and read chapter 3 again'.  Hahaha.

Is this section not clear?
"One thing is certain though. She was indoctrinated for at least some time and while she is able to fight Reaper influence more strongly than most, she is considered a risk, still feeling the maddening buzzing in her head."

I even used the line 'maybe it's just the buzzing in her head' many times as a theme when she thought about all the changes that have happened to her through prothean devices, asari melding, cipher, thorian/indoctrinated 'melding' (Shiala meld).

I'm lost as to why this has suddenly caused an issue lol.

Rant over.
:innocent:

EDIT: had a few to and fro's with the readers and it seems that it just didn't seem that cut and dried to them.  Also, they just don't like the pairing getting in the way of Shep's love.  I did say to one, wouldn't it be boring if it was all so predictable?  With that kind of mentality, the next chapter may as well be 'and they all lived happily ever after in the manner that suits you best'.  Haha.

Modifié par MrStoob, 15 février 2013 - 11:07 .

[Obsidian Gryphon]

I've come across negative reviews in similar vein for another story on FFN; dislike for the way the story was going, and suggestions were made for which direction it should take. But the reviewers were missing the purpose behind FFN. If they had stated their points and left it at that, it would have been fine but no, they were trying to impose their view and drive the story the way they want it to go.

Thing is, if they want that, then they should write their own story.

Modifié par Obsidian Gryphon, 15 février 2013 - 11:42 .

[Ursakar]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

If they had stated their points and left it at that, it would have been fine but no, they were trying to impose their view and drive the story the way they want it to go.

Thing is, if they want that, then they should write their own story.

But when you offer them to do it, their usual response is: Lol, I can't write.

One of my readers actually started his own story as a sort of challenge, clearly stating in the introduction that while he likes my story, there are several things he would have done differently. He hasn't posted his first chapter yet...

[fluffywalrus]

Ursakar wrote...

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

If they had stated their points and left it at that, it would have been fine but no, they were trying to impose their view and drive the story the way they want it to go.

Thing is, if they want that, then they should write their own story.

But when you offer them to do it, their usual response is: Lol, I can't write.

One of my readers actually started his own story as a sort of challenge, clearly stating in the introduction that while he likes my story, there are several things he would have done differently. He hasn't posted his first chapter yet...

Yeah, it's nice to get reviews, but when people mistake critique for "I want the author to take this direction", it can be a little iffy. I had a guy who wanted more focus on action, more focus on skill development for Shep, more cinematic action moments, less focus on character relationships, more wild AU twists (some of which might have been good ideas, but wouldn't fit my story's progression), etc. and by the end of the mammoth review...I just wanted to say:
"Sounds good! i look forward to your first chapter "

Like, the guy had read my origin fic. There were maybe 7 or 8 solid action bits in the full 20 chapters. My Mass Effect timeline fic was taking on a similar balance...I have "Drama/Romance" as story tags, not "Adventure/Action".

it's just...people have cool ideas, but my story's my story. I write it first and foremost for myself, to leave a memory of my experiences and connection with the series. I think that sometimes people lose valuable perspective on why FFnet exists in the first place.

[hot_heart]

Sounds like I've been very lucky with reviews. Then again, I've not really tried going AU or done anything too daring. Regardless, I have a lovely bunch of readers.

I suppose in those instances I would tell them that I already have my own story planned out, and I'm sorry if it's not what they had hoped, but I'd be eager to see their own.

I know there are some people rewriting ME3 because they didn't like it. Are there readers who want to rewrite people's rewrites?

[Ignis Mors]

hot_heart wrote...

Sounds like I've been very lucky with reviews. Then again, I've not really tried going AU or done anything too daring. Regardless, I have a lovely bunch of readers.

I suppose in those instances I would tell them that I already have my own story planned out, and I'm sorry if it's not what they had hoped, but I'd be eager to see their own.

I know there are some people rewriting ME3 because they didn't like it. Are there readers who want to rewrite people's rewrites?

At least for me, my fic is mostly AU, and I haven't really had any people complaining about my changes and asking I do things differently. I'm still in ME2 though, so that could change when I do the ME3 time-period arc.

[MrStoob]

It has been a new kind of venture for me, because I don't have the linear story of ME1, 2 and 3 to fall back on. The reviews had been generally okay up 'til now. I thought they were all with me on where I was going, that I'd signposted it clearly enough. Hindsight being a wonderful thing: maybe I was just too verbose and abstract with some sections. You live and learn anyway. Maybe as a 40 odd year old bloke, I just don't know the girly hoard of the FFN community as well I as I think. Ha! Which for me, is a whole different level of madness (the concept, not the hoard, hehe).

Modifié par MrStoob, 16 février 2013 - 10:05 .

[Ignis Mors]

MrStoob wrote...

It has been a new kind of venture for me, because I don't have the linear story of ME1, 2 and 3 to fall back on. The reviews had been generally okay up 'til now. I thought they were all with me on where I was going, that I'd signposted it clearly enough. Hindsight being a wonderful thing: maybe I was just too verbose and abstract with some sections. You live and learn anyway. Maybe as a 40 odd year old bloke, I just don't know the girly hoard of the FFN community as well I as I think. Ha! Which for me, is a whole different level of madness (the concept, not the hoard, hehe).

Yeah, the biggest complaint I've gotten on my stuff is probably because I'm a dude, so have trouble writing things how the girly horde would like it best.

[Fatiguesdualism]

Quick lore check question: Does Jack actually call Miranda 'princess' in-game or is that just another thing that's gotten into my head from FFnet?

As a side note, is anyone else wary about using the story tags on FFnet? When I posted my first tale, it intentionally ended with more angst/hurt than it opened. But I was trying (note trying, don't think it worked) to work a shock/shift in tone/something that would have been clearly signposted (with bells, flashing lights and a marching band) if I had used an angst tag. (As is, I think I dodged the flashing lights and ran over the band)
Simply does it create a harmful expectation on the audience's behalf? (Gosh I waffle on)

PS: Wish I could remember the chap who came up with the phrase 'Retroactively Foreshadowing'

PPS: FFnet is a girly horde?

[MrStoob]

Ignis Mors wrote...

MrStoob wrote...

It has been a new kind of venture for me, because I don't have the linear story of ME1, 2 and 3 to fall back on. The reviews had been generally okay up 'til now. I thought they were all with me on where I was going, that I'd signposted it clearly enough. Hindsight being a wonderful thing: maybe I was just too verbose and abstract with some sections. You live and learn anyway. Maybe as a 40 odd year old bloke, I just don't know the girly hoard of the FFN community as well I as I think. Ha! Which for me, is a whole different level of madness (the concept, not the hoard, hehe).

Yeah, the biggest complaint I've gotten on my stuff is probably because I'm a dude, so have trouble writing things how the girly horde would like it best.

Not that we should be aiming at an audience, IMO.  We should write what we feel and believe in it but willing to accept failings where valid.  Impossible to pander to everyone's sensibilities anyway, just look what happened to BW... 

[MrStoob]

Fatiguesdualism wrote...
PPS: FFnet is a girly horde?

So I hear.  I've seen several profiles that say something to the effect of:

"Gender: Female (like there's any other on FFN)"

EDIT:

Oh, and to 'rant' on a bit more... posted my new chapter resolving some of the issues and the "This chapter is balls!" person seemed to like the resolution.  Patience my readers, all will come with the fullness of time... hehe.  Although, the same person now half expects me to go overboard on giving the hurt person some kind of nice resolution to balance.  I think some more suffering might be more like it.  Muhahahahaha.

Modifié par MrStoob, 16 février 2013 - 11:57 .

[hot_heart]

Fatiguesdualism wrote...
Quick lore check question: Does Jack actually call Miranda 'princess' in-game or is that just another thing that's gotten into my head from FFnet?

I don't think so. I'm not sure she really knows Miranda's past, so she's just a 'Cerberus b#*@h' or 'cheerleader' to her.

I had Kai Leng call Miranda a princess in my last chapter.

Modifié par hot_heart, 16 février 2013 - 11:56 .

[MrStoob]

Doesn't Jack say when she arrives back at the SR-2, re: access to Cerberus files (maybe not verbatim):

"You hear that, princess? We're going to be best friends, you, me and all of Cerberus' dirty secrets."

*goes off to youtube*

*returns from youtube*

Ah, no.  She says 'precious'.  

Modifié par MrStoob, 17 février 2013 - 12:03 .

[Fatiguesdualism]

Nuts!  Going to have to throw this out the air-lock then:

    Vega shrugged, “Yeah Princess, as in [Princess Leah], from Star Wars right?”  Shepard gave him a blank look, “The old classic movie?  You must have seen it right?  Tell me you didn’t get a whole - ‘Help me [Obi-wan Kenobi].  You’re my only hope’ - kinda vibe from that message?”
    Shepard shook his head, “You are the second person to call her a princess and I never saw Star Wars.  But Miri has never been some damsel in distress waiting to be rescued, she’s smart and confident and bloody lethal in a fight.  I would feel sorry for anyone who tried to lock her up in a tower somewhere.”  But if they succeeded, [then he would break her back out again], he added in his mind.
    “So ‘Miri’ and ‘I love you’ huh, sounds like there’s something there commander?”  Vega smirked at Shepard’s glared response.  “Alright I get it, a gentleman doesn’t talk right?  But who else calls your friend Princess?”
    The commander’s mind flashed back to Jack.  The tattooed biotic struggling to breathe after the Collector bullets had ripped through her chest.  The determination she had to deliver her final words, those three words that still hung between him and Miranda, six months after they had been shaped.  “They died lieutenant,” the words where snapped out, “we’ve wasted enough time.  You’re point man, move out.”

Was hoping to raise doubts about Miranda's message and give a nod to my earlier story in one fell swoop.  Back to the drawing board.  Darn reality, why does it insist on obstructing me at any given opportunity?
PS:  Really should have opened with this but, Thank You!

PPS:  What is it with online and paragraphs?  It is only a simple indent, can't be that hard to accommodate surely?

Modifié par Fatiguesdualism, 17 février 2013 - 12:41 .

[MrStoob]

It'd probably still work without referencing her being called it before?

[nrobbiec]

I'm a bit confused by the inconsistent grammar used in the games, most race names aren't capitalised like salarian, turian etc, yet Reapers and Protheans are...
It looks wrong writing each species name in lower case and then to have two not be just looks clunky.

[MrStoob]

nrobbiec wrote...

I'm a bit confused by the inconsistent grammar used in the games, most race names aren't capitalised like salarian, turian etc, yet Reapers and Protheans are...
It looks wrong writing each species name in lower case and then to have two not be just looks clunky.

My take on the Reapers being capitalised is due to 'reaper' being a word as well.  Races shouldn't be capitalised (like 'human') but some do in game, probably to say 'look, it's a thing'.