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[Seracen]

 Hmm, running into a logistic problem in my current fic, if anyone has time to read the following...

So, in my upcoming chapters, Shepard will be facing forces in the Batarian Hegemony who are opposed to the peace process.


SPOILERS FOLLOW for my fic in the bracketed area.

****************** SPOILERS  SPOILERS  SPOILERS **********************

He will be captured and tortured at some point.  Upon his rescue, Liara will come across information linking several of the opposition clan with the main baddies, or with an evil plot that affects the Quarians.

How should I resolve this particular plot thread?  I'm killing off one of the baddies, but his boss in the Hegemony will escape to fight another day.  Do I have him escape alone, or with a contingent of the fleet he controls (racist anti-humans)?

If I do this, should I do it as a political manuever, wherein a whole portion of the Batarian fleet seceeds, becoming a hostile Flotilla out on the edges of the Terminus?

I I do this, do I make them outlaws to their own people, causing them to be more desparate, therefore relying on the PRIME badguy more?  Or do I make them an asset to said baddie, causing yet another fleet to battle the good guys at the end (there's minor indoctrination that could be going on here)?

***************** SPOILERS  SPOILERS  SPOILERS *************************


If anyone is willing, please feel free to PM me, or reply here.  I just need opinions and ideas as to what sounds more organic and realistic.

Modifié par Seracen, 09 avril 2013 - 01:13 .

[MrStoob]

Seracen wrote...

 Hmm, running into a logistic problem in my current fic, if anyone has time to read the following...

So, in my upcoming chapters, Shepard will be facing forces in the Batarian Hegemony who are opposed to the peace process.


SPOILERS FOLLOW for my fic in the bracketed area.

****************** SPOILERS  SPOILERS  SPOILERS **********************

He will be captured and tortured at some point.  Upon his rescue, Liara will come across information linking several of the opposition clan with the main baddies, or with an evil plot that affects the Quarians.

How should I resolve this particular plot thread?  I'm killing off one of the baddies, but his boss in the Hegemony will escape to fight another day.  Do I have him escape alone, or with a contingent of the fleet he controls (racist anti-humans)?

If I do this, should I do it as a political manuever, wherein a whole portion of the Batarian fleet seceeds, becoming a hostile Flotilla out on the edges of the Terminus?

I I do this, do I make them outlaws to their own people, causing them to be more desparate, therefore relying on the PRIME badguy more?  Or do I make them an asset to said baddie, causing yet another fleet to battle the good guys at the end (there's minor indoctrination that could be going on here)?

***************** SPOILERS  SPOILERS  SPOILERS *************************


If anyone is willing, please feel free to PM me, or reply here.  I just need opinions and ideas as to what sounds more organic and realistic.

A rogue fleet would be useful to the Hegemony, could be the new leader's 'dirty secret' while maintaining a front of condemning them if the premise would work.

[Seracen]

MrStoob wrote...

Seracen wrote...

 Hmm, running into a logistic problem in my current fic, if anyone has time to read the following...

So, in my upcoming chapters, Shepard will be facing forces in the Batarian Hegemony who are opposed to the peace process.
...

A rogue fleet would be useful to the Hegemony, could be the new leader's 'dirty secret' while maintaining a front of condemning them if the premise would work.

Yeah, I think I'll go this route.  My only concern is that Karshaan is in shambles, and I didn't know if the leaders would be willing to split the remaining populace like that along political lines.

Still, it seems like something a megalomaniac could justify.  I just wanted to make sure it sounded plausible. Thanks for the feedback!

[hot_heart]

Not new, but I stumbled across these and figured they were worth sharing.

Pixar's 22 Rules of Storytelling

Joss Whedon's Top Ten Writing Tips

[Tairis Deamhan]

hot_heart wrote...

What are people's opinions on chapter titles? I'm not sure it was easy to do on the old FF.net setup, but the changes seem to have made it easy, so I'm tempted to add some to mine. In my head, chapter 13 was always 'Three Conversations/Exchanges'.

On the one hand, it's an opportunity to add further 'meaning' to the piece, but also...it can distract you from getting on with writing (TV example, but I know Seinfeld writers weren't allowed to come up with witty episode titles because they wanted them focusing on the actual plots).

Oh, and as for action scenes. Pfft, they're easy...they just take 3-4 months, that's all. NEVER AGAIN.

From my personal experience with titles: never try to create a chapter title BEFORE writing the chapter. It should always come after you've written the chapter and felt out what the 'theme' for that chapter is. Otherwise you end up trying to make sure everything fits into the 'box' of your chapter title.

[Seracen]

Soooooo.....

Another funny bit of lore questioning. I believe I posted this question before, so pardons for revisiting it. WARNING: I actually make nudity sound like a boring class, prepare yourselves...

I've been doing research into Batarian anatomy, as a crew member is Batarian, and there's going to be a lot of fighting and field medicine involved eventually. As such, I was looking up various concepts into what a female Batarian looks like.

For example, I found some good concepts of mohawks and dreadlocks for the hair. Someone notified me that only Humans and Quarians have "hair" per se. My eventual takeaway involved the "dreadlocks" being a tubulin structure, much like the Predators, rather than keratin fibers from hair.

Another suggestion was two sets of breasts, with a much smaller set resting just beneath the primary mammaries. The reasoning for this, of course, was the multiple eyes. I pondered why just breasts, and not nose slits, or ear slits.

A comparison was made to the Krogan, considering the 2 sets of testicles. I always thought it was for redundancy, but I can see a case made for two sets of breasts on a female Batarian.  I even came across pieces of art that weren't unpleasant; and they support anything from the standard 2 all the way to 6!

Can't believe I'm asking this here, but Google searches yields nothing but speculation.  Any opinions?

Modifié par Seracen, 09 avril 2013 - 07:09 .

[MrStoob]

hot_heart wrote...

Not new, but I stumbled across these and figured they were worth sharing.

Pixar's 22 Rules of Storytelling

Joss Whedon's Top Ten Writing Tips

One I very much agree with is:

"Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time."

This is a common theme for all creative forms.  If you keep trying to perfect one thing, you'll never do anything else because little will ever be wholly perfect.  Just one more tweak...

Also, just did it myself a current fic I'm working on but a bit stuck with, but the 'Once upon a time...' exercise is quite useful.

Modifié par MrStoob, 09 avril 2013 - 08:20 .

[MrStoob]

Seracen wrote...

Soooooo.....

Another funny bit of lore questioning. I believe I posted this question before, so pardons for revisiting it. WARNING: I actually make nudity sound like a boring class, prepare yourselves...

I've been doing research into Batarian anatomy, as a crew member is Batarian, and there's going to be a lot of fighting and field medicine involved eventually. As such, I was looking up various concepts into what a female Batarian looks like.

For example, I found some good concepts of mohawks and dreadlocks for the hair. Someone notified me that only Humans and Quarians have "hair" per se. My eventual takeaway involved the "dreadlocks" being a tubulin structure, much like the Predators, rather than keratin fibers from hair.

Another suggestion was two sets of breasts, with a much smaller set resting just beneath the primary mammaries. The reasoning for this, of course, was the multiple eyes. I pondered why just breasts, and not nose slits, or ear slits.

A comparison was made to the Krogan, considering the 2 sets of testicles. I always thought it was for redundancy, but I can see a case made for two sets of breasts on a female Batarian.  I even came across pieces of art that weren't unpleasant; and they support anything from the standard 2 all the way to 6!

Can't believe I'm asking this here, but Google searches yields nothing but speculation.  Any opinions?

If it isn't written in lore and you can justify/explain it, anything goes.  

[Tairis Deamhan]

Personally when talking about designing alien biology I follow these steps in order:

1) Does it make sense?

Krogans are amazingly well designed from an evolutionary stand point. They just make sense. Eyes set like that of a prey species, hardiness against an extremely hostile environment, etc.

2) Does it add something to the story?

Knowing that krogans have 4 testicles doesn't seem like much but it does two things: it provides a  phrase for krogans to use in dialogue to differentiate themselves culturally and it reminds the player that 'oh yea, these aren't just scaly humans.

An example of this that violates the first rule is quarians. Clearly their 'weak' immune systems were meant to be this highly significant plot point both as a species and for tha Tali romance... but when the writers try to explain WHY they have that immune system? Complete flustercluck. No insects to spread pollen so quarians have weird immune systems? Since when did getting a cold spread pollen?

3) Is it cool?

Turians have flanged voices? Why? Who knows, but it's cool and it doesn't contradict rule 1 so why not.

[hot_heart]

Tairis Deamhan wrote...
An example of this that violates the first rule is quarians. Clearly their 'weak' immune systems were meant to be this highly significant plot point both as a species and for tha Tali romance... but when the writers try to explain WHY they have that immune system? Complete flustercluck. No insects to spread pollen so quarians have weird immune systems? Since when did getting a cold spread pollen?

Huh? That's not how I understood it, or how the codex explains it. I don't see a problem.

[Tairis Deamhan]

hot_heart wrote...

Huh? That's not how I understood it, or how the codex explains it. I don't see a problem.

During the 'Rannoch has no insects' conversation with Tali explaining her weakened immune system she brings it up. She says that since Rannoch has no insects that plants evolved to have symbiotic relationships with large animals for pollenation... which is immediately followed with how viruses were somehow partially beneficial so the quarian immune system evolved to adapt but was weaker. I'm not sure what the connection was supposed to be but its all part of the same sentence even in the dialogue.

Which somehow makes them have a severe allergic reaction to everything. In the romance she takes immuno-suppressants (the same things that would taken by a transplant patient or the like) to be with Shepard. But she's part of an entire species thats effectively been living in clean rooms for their whole lives. She shouldn't have a problem at all with an overactive immune system. She should have a problem of not having one.

It doesn't really make much sense, very little of quarian biology does.

Modifié par Tairis Deamhan, 09 avril 2013 - 10:03 .

[hot_heart]

Hmm, not sure I ever got that conversation.

As you mentioned, before ME3, I always understood it as them being away from their own planet with which they had that symbiotic relationship. I presumed it was connected to the 'not constantly challenged; grows weak' trope that is present in other parts of the writing, so 'allergic' was just a way of saying 'bad reaction' rather than overactive immunity.

Glad I don't touch that side of things, though.

[MrStoob]

hot_heart wrote...

Hmm, not sure I ever got that conversation.

As you mentioned, before ME3, I always understood it as them being away from their own planet with which they had that symbiotic relationship. I presumed it was connected to the 'not constantly challenged; grows weak' trope that is present in other parts of the writing, so 'allergic' was just a way of saying 'bad reaction' rather than overactive immunity.

Glad I don't touch that side of things, though.

Aye lol.

As soon as was possible, Tali was suitless in my post ME3 fic.

[dpMeggers]

 Regarding Batarians, eyes and breasts:
Why do Batarians have 4 eyes? (Other than the designers thought it looked cool). Presumably it was, as Tairis pointed out about the Krogan, an evolutionary advantage at some point. Maybe they were prone to loosing eyes to sticks or something. Which means if we're deciding how many breasts batarian females have, we also need to determine why they would need a certain number. So, the science of boobs!

As a general rule, mammals with more breasts/nipples/mammary glands have more offspring per pregnancy. With humans, one per pregnancy is most common, we've got two breasts. Dogs and pigs have litters -> lots of nipples. Obviously there are exceptions, cows for instance, but it's usually pretty accurate to say more breasts means more babies.

Assuming Batarians follow the same rule of thumb outlined above (and if they're mammals it stands to reason that they probably do), if they have, say, 4 breasts, it's likely that Batarian pregnancies most frequently produce twins or more rather than single offspring. Is this possible? Sure, why the hell not. Is it likely? Up to you to decide that.

Regarding the Quarian immune system. I think you're looking at it from the wrong angle. Rannoch has no insect life. No insect life means one major transmission vector fewer for virulent disease - no Black Plague, West Nile, malaria, that sort of stuff being spread by mosquitoes or fleas. No insect life ALSO means that bugs can't help diseases cross the species barrier (diseases don't always need help, but it would make a difference). The fact that Quarians spread pollen was incidental. So couple with an immune system that is weak relative to the rest of the galaxy with 300 years in a sterile environment (no immunities develop) and you wind up with the Quarians. 

And now: something which made me laugh so I thought I would share The History of the World (as written by students). Alternate title: Watch your Word Choices, (or you may end up writing something unintentionally hilarious).

[Seracen]

@ dpMeggers: Hah, that's a good one. I read a few articles similar to that one, but I don't think I ever read that particular paper before!

[fluffywalrus]

So I emerge from my (immense school workload-driven) hibernation! Hoorah! Lovely discussion here.

I agree, if Batarian ladies are to have two more breasts, one would have to ask why. Also, Batarians always look like they have sharp teeth, like Turians. So...well, I can't help but feel bad for those ladies if they have to have more than two.

On an unrelated, off-topic note, has anyone asked you to write for a fandom that you've never really engaged in or know nothing about?
it's weird. I let a friend of mine know I write fan-fiction, offhandedly, and they've been hounding me to write some stuff for a show they like (and read FF about as well). Having never seen the show outside of commercials, I'm not entirely super eager, but having something to fall back on in case i get burned out on writing mass effect stuff seems like a good idea....

So yeah, anyone been approached to write something they're unfamiliar with?

[Ignis Mors]

fluffywalrus wrote...

So I emerge from my (immense school workload-driven) hibernation! Hoorah! Lovely discussion here.

I agree, if Batarian ladies are to have two more breasts, one would have to ask why. Also, Batarians always look like they have sharp teeth, like Turians. So...well, I can't help but feel bad for those ladies if they have to have more than two.

On an unrelated, off-topic note, has anyone asked you to write for a fandom that you've never really engaged in or know nothing about?
it's weird. I let a friend of mine know I write fan-fiction, offhandedly, and they've been hounding me to write some stuff for a show they like (and read FF about as well). Having never seen the show outside of commercials, I'm not entirely super eager, but having something to fall back on in case i get burned out on writing mass effect stuff seems like a good idea....

So yeah, anyone been approached to write something they're unfamiliar with?

Not here. I don't let anyone I know in the real world know that I write fanfiction, so they don't. I know they would either 1) Laugh at me to the point that I kill them, 2) Laugh at me to the point that I kill myself, or 3) convince me that it is a nerdy waste of time and thereby make me stop doing it entirely. And, on ff.net I haven't been asked to write anything for a specific fandom.

[fluffywalrus]

Ignis Mors wrote...

fluffywalrus wrote...

So I emerge from my (immense school workload-driven) hibernation! Hoorah! Lovely discussion here.

I agree, if Batarian ladies are to have two more breasts, one would have to ask why. Also, Batarians always look like they have sharp teeth, like Turians. So...well, I can't help but feel bad for those ladies if they have to have more than two.

On an unrelated, off-topic note, has anyone asked you to write for a fandom that you've never really engaged in or know nothing about?
it's weird. I let a friend of mine know I write fan-fiction, offhandedly, and they've been hounding me to write some stuff for a show they like (and read FF about as well). Having never seen the show outside of commercials, I'm not entirely super eager, but having something to fall back on in case i get burned out on writing mass effect stuff seems like a good idea....

So yeah, anyone been approached to write something they're unfamiliar with?

Not here. I don't let anyone I know in the real world know that I write fanfiction, so they don't. I know they would either 1) Laugh at me to the point that I kill them, 2) Laugh at me to the point that I kill myself, or 3) convince me that it is a nerdy waste of time and thereby make me stop doing it entirely. And, on ff.net I haven't been asked to write anything for a specific fandom.

Haha, fair enough. Most of my friends have been playing Pen and paper RPGs for over a decade, one runs a gaming club for his college, and another volunteers as a librarian for my university. A few of my friends een watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. So...I suppose i'm not really in a position for any friends to make fun of me XD

Though I understand your secrecy. From what i understand, writing fanfiction is considered a level nerdier and more reprehensible than high-school poetry.

[Seracen]

fluffywalrus wrote...

So I emerge from my (immense school workload-driven) hibernation! Hoorah! Lovely discussion here.

I agree, if Batarian ladies are to have two more breasts, one would have to ask why. Also, Batarians always look like they have sharp teeth, like Turians. So...well, I can't help but feel bad for those ladies if they have to have more than two.

On an unrelated, off-topic note, has anyone asked you to write for a fandom that you've never really engaged in or know nothing about?
it's weird. I let a friend of mine know I write fan-fiction, offhandedly, and they've been hounding me to write some stuff for a show they like (and read FF about as well). Having never seen the show outside of commercials, I'm not entirely super eager, but having something to fall back on in case i get burned out on writing mass effect stuff seems like a good idea....

So yeah, anyone been approached to write something they're unfamiliar with?

I generally present is as plain writing.  If they are into it, and seem geeky enough, I drop that it's fanfiction, although I do originals from time to time.

As far as working outside my comfort zone, I've been asked once or twice, but I only entertained the idea once.  It was a collaborative effort someone was working on.  They ended up finding a better fit though, and I ended up being a beta reader for them, so it panned out better for all.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

dpMeggers wrote...

 And now: something which made me laugh so I thought I would share The History of the World (as written by students). Alternate title: Watch your Word Choices, (or you may end up writing something unintentionally hilarious).

That collection has been around for more than 20 years. And it still never fails to draw laughs. I drew little pictures for the more zany ones.   like William Tell standing on his son's head to shoot an apple. I couldn't do John Milton though that line about him regaining paradise was absolutely rotflol.

I taught once before and I know students can make the most ridiculous (and hilarious) mistakes. :lol:

Modifié par Obsidian Gryphon, 10 avril 2013 - 10:34 .

[Tairis Deamhan]

dpMeggers wrote...

 Regarding Batarians, eyes and breasts:
Why do Batarians have 4 eyes? (Other than the designers thought it looked cool). Presumably it was, as Tairis pointed out about the Krogan, an evolutionary advantage at some point. Maybe they were prone to loosing eyes to sticks or something. Which means if we're deciding how many breasts batarian females have, we also need to determine why they would need a certain number. So, the science of boobs!

Yea, this is exactly what I'm talking about. It might never come up in the work but it creates much better internal consistency if it DOES show up.

Personally I'm still not sure how the batarians would have evolved 4 eyes especially since they would take up a lot of space in the head/brain.

Regarding the Quarian immune system. I think you're looking at it from the wrong angle. Rannoch has no insect life. No insect life means one major transmission vector fewer for virulent disease - no Black Plague, West Nile, malaria, that sort of stuff being spread by mosquitoes or fleas. No insect life ALSO means that bugs can't help diseases cross the species barrier (diseases don't always need help, but it would make a difference). The fact that Quarians spread pollen was incidental. So couple with an immune system that is weak relative to the rest of the galaxy with 300 years in a sterile environment (no immunities develop) and you wind up with the Quarians. 

It definitely makes sense (ignoring the part where Tali mentions viruses somehow not being harmful). The only issue you still run into from science consistency is the fact that quarians have allergic reactions to everything if they're exposed. Allergic reactions are trigger by your immune system acting too strongly. Quarians should be the last people to be having allergy problems.

[MrStoob]

Multiple sets of teets, like cats n dogs n whatnot, usually suggests multiple offspring.

My 2 cents on conversation about boobs.

[hot_heart]

At that point where I have to go back over my old chapters and check the details. But I don't wanna...I've already found those instances where I'm in the wrong friggin' tense. *cringe*

For the sake of discussion, do you think it would be out-of-place or just weird if I wrote that Miranda had a few scars and such from her 'early days' with Cerberus? Just toying with ideas for a later flashback.

[Tairis Deamhan]

Well unless you specifically stated previously in the story that she was unscarred I don't see the issue. No matter how good you are you can't avoid everything that gets thrown at you.

[hot_heart]

I suppose Shepard's the only one who gets the option to remove their scars if they want (and have enough platinum)