9961 réponses à ce sujet

[hot_heart]

That's a good question.

Seeing as the whole thing has been a learning experience for me, I suppose I have been deliberately trying to challenge myself (within reason). I think a lot of my writing is still 'confrontational' two-handers, but that goes with the territory with regards to how the story was conceived (noir fiction-style) and the character involved. The action stuff was a bit of a stretch, but that took time more than anything.

In the ways it's changed, I think I've tried to bring out more of the emotional element with other characters, which is why some OCs got increased involvement. And the chapter after this should be a little lighter in tone.

Before all this, my scripts tended to be comedic and a lot more whimsical...

[Seracen]

MrStoob wrote...
...
So Thought/Question of the Day: Are you writing what/how you expected or intended, or have you consciously changed your style/content to what you want?

...

Well, I've got to say, after a few really awesome critiques of some of my previous works, my writing style as a whole has changed.

I used to be focused on OC's more, as it was the only way I could engage myself in writing for that world.  I have recently found that I care more about how the characters I lvoe react to the world.  If that means adding OC's, great, but they are not my viewing screen into the world, as they used to be.

I don't focus on action for the sake of action anymore.  If anything, I focus on dialogue more than ever.  However, some part of me starts nodding off if I don't write good action every few chapters.  As such, I don't think I'll ever be a complete drama writer, nor would I be well suited to anything approaching rom-com.

However, the action sequences are more streamlined than they used to be.  Looking back on it, overly complex and lengthy action scenes were just as tiresome as endless exposition.

I guess, if anything else, this current project has instilled a new mantra for me: everything must have a purpose.

For instance, I completely deleted a character that I had created.  As a result, the story flows better, character awareness is less disjointed, and the remaining players have more importance.

Conversely, I added a new character, because he was fun to write for.  However, before I allowed myself to commit to his addition, I immediately plotted out what his purpose was in the story; and indeed found a few purposes for him to fulfill.

None of this was really planned.  I just happened to start writing this way after taking some feedback on board.  I think I've improved as a writer because of it.  Of course, half of what I write still manages to surprise me, and I think this is necessary too.

So often I'll say to myself "where did that come from?"  Honestly, if my own story can't intrigue and amaze me from time to time, I don't think it can remain fun to write, as well as read.

Modifié par Seracen, 14 avril 2013 - 06:42 .

[DosTacos]

Thanks, hot_heart and Seracen for your input.

I think I solved my problem by deleting the section and coming at it from another POV, allowing some of her motivations (in addition to friendship, duty, and all that jazz) to be revealed later.

First 5k words or so have been gone over with a fine-toothed comb. Shouldn't be long now before I can post it!

[MrStoob]

Seracen wrote...

MrStoob wrote...
...
So Thought/Question of the Day: Are you writing what/how you expected or intended, or have you consciously changed your style/content to what you want?

...

Well, I've got to say, after a few really awesome critiques of some of my previous works, my writing style as a whole has changed.

I used to be focused on OC's more, as it was the only way I could engage myself in writing for that world.  I have recently found that I care more about how the characters I lvoe react to the world.  If that means adding OC's, great, but they are not my viewing screen into the world, as they used to be.

I don't focus on action for the sake of action anymore.  If anything, I focus on dialogue more than ever.  However, some part of me starts nodding off if I don't write good action every few chapters.  As such, I don't think I'll ever be a complete drama writer, nor would I be well suited to anything approaching rom-com.

However, the action sequences are more streamlined than they used to be.  Looking back on it, overly complex and lengthy action scenes were just as tiresome as endless exposition.

I guess, if anything else, this current project has instilled a new mantra for me: everything must have a purpose.

For instance, I completely deleted a character that I had created.  As a result, the story flows better, character awareness is less disjointed, and the remaining players have more importance.

Conversely, I added a new character, because he was fun to write for.  However, before I allowed myself to commit to his addition, I immediately plotted out what his purpose was in the story; and indeed found a few purposes for him to fulfill.

None of this was really planned.  I just happened to start writing this way after taking some feedback on board.  I think I've improved as a writer because of it.  Of course, half of what I write still manages to surprise me, and I think this is necessary too.

So often I'll say to myself "where did that come from?"  Honestly, if my own story can't intrigue and amaze me from time to time, I don't think it can remain fun to write, as well as read.

I haven't thown myself to the lions yet as far as a proper 'critique' goes.

After I finished my main trilogy fic, which really started out as a series of scenes but gained momentum into becoming more like 'my' trilogy, I felt compelled to continue the tale beyond as I enjoyed writing for the characters.  It has not been easy.  'Scenes from Mass Effect' is much easier than writing basically an original story.  I've found it much harder to stick to my usual whimsy style, more long-winded exposition due to the story being new to the reader, blah blah, and I'm currently in the corner wondering how the hell I'm going to get out of it after a terribly jarring jump in time.

I'm a lazy writer too.  I don't plan anything, just sit and type when the mood takes me and let the story tell itself kind of thing, which is fine when the landmarks are provided for you (like the trilogy) but an original story?  I know my failings there hehe.

[hot_heart]

Bit cheeky, but would anyone who is up-to-date on my story care to help out and read over the first draft of my latest chapter when it's done, later?

It's 'only' a maximum of 2.5k words. Just want to make sure that it all makes sense, answers any previously-unresolved questions and flows well.

[Seracen]

hot_heart wrote...

Bit cheeky, but would anyone who is up-to-date on my story care to help out and read over the first draft of my latest chapter when it's done, later?

It's 'only' a maximum of 2.5k words. Just want to make sure that it all makes sense, answers any previously-unresolved questions and flows well.

I am nowhere near up to date, having read a few random chapters long ago, but I can critique the tone, flow, and imagery if you want.  PM me and I'll shoot you my email, though I understand if you only want folks more familiar with the story.

[hot_heart]

Thank you! I am looking for a more 'informed' (for want of a better word) bit of feedback, but I would be a fool to refuse your help. One of my major concerns is keeping a consistent mood for the characters during the conversations, which should hopefully require less background info (beyond my Alliance agent, my 'non-Shepard', going by the confusing name of John ).

I shall PM you a Dropbox link in a while, but don't feel you have to commit to helping.

[enayasoul]

I'll read it over if you like hot_heart!

[Seracen]

I really don't know what it is...but it seems like the peak time for me to write is between 9PM and 5AM...

Much more prolific than any other time in the day. There's just something about writing at night with the music in the background that gets me motivated.

Case in point...I just finished 2 chapters, fleshed out the barebones of 2 more, but didn't start until midnight.

Anyone else feel this way? I mean, inspiration can hit whenever, but it hits me more often at night.

And now...to stop watching Top Gear, eat breakfast, and go to sleep...hahaha!

Modifié par Seracen, 16 avril 2013 - 09:54 .

[MrStoob]

Seracen wrote...
Anyone else feel this way? I mean, inspiration can hit whenever, but it hits me more often at night.

Inspiration hit me this morning while catching up on Sons of Anarchy.  Afterwards, I whipped up a chapter and was happy enough to post it.  Yay!

But usually it's a 2am kind of affair, because the house is quiet and I can absorb myself in my tales much better.

[enayasoul]

Seracen wrote...

I really don't know what it is...but it seems like the peak time for me to write is between 9PM and 5AM...

Much more prolific than any other time in the day. There's just something about writing at night with the music in the background that gets me motivated.

Case in point...I just finished 2 chapters, fleshed out the barebones of 2 more, but didn't start until midnight.

Anyone else feel this way? I mean, inspiration can hit whenever, but it hits me more often at night.

And now...to stop watching Top Gear, eat breakfast, and go to sleep...hahaha!

That happens to me all the time.  Up late writing... I work on the current chapter a little bit before bed.  The next thing I know 3 or so hours went by and go 'oh crap' because I have to get up in a few hours for work. Hah!  I try to refrain from doing it when I have the early shift but doesn't always happen. 
It hits me whenever the characters in my brain must be let out...! 

Right now, still thinking on how Shepard's going to deal with a problem... and Miranda's reaction to what happened in the last chapter has me a bit stuck.  (Emotions of what happened)  Maybe I can have them intentional ignore the issue?    Don't thinks that's gonna work though.   Come on  b r a i n  t h i n k!   Sleeping on it didn't help much. It's been a week.  It's a rather short chapter.

[Progman Omega]

Seracen wrote...

Anyone else feel this way? I mean, inspiration can hit whenever, but it hits me more often at night.

Good lord, yes.  Nine times out of ten, I'm clinically incapable of writing anything coherent or engaging before say...11pm.  My theory is that my brain runs background creative processes thoughout the day, and slaps inspiration in my face in the middle of the night like a status report.  Not every day, of course.  More like once a week.

So I could be sitting there, staring at a wall, and my head would erupt in this blaring surge of IDEAS from outta freakin' nowhere.  Which, of course, sets off a chain reaction that connects them to my older plot threads which culminate in new concepts and etc etc.  

Long story short:  My conscious mind has a vendetta against my unconscious one. XD

enayasoul wrote...

Right now, still thinking on how Shepard's going to deal with a problem... and Miranda's reaction to what happened in the last chapter has me a bit stuck.  (Emotions of what happened)  Maybe I can have them intentional ignore the issue?   [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/uncertain.png[/smilie]  Don't thinks that's gonna work though. [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/tongue.png[/smilie]  Come on  b r a i n  t h i n k!   Sleeping on it didn't help much. It's been a week.  It's a rather short chapter. 

Whenever I'm stuck on any portion of a story, I write out that one character punches another in the face along with the subsequent reaction.  Even if there isn't actually a second character in the scene.  Señor Chewbacca is excellent in his recurring role as the 'second character'.  I dunno, this just works for me.  Who knows?  It might just jog your noggin'.

And you could have them ignore it, and have that come back to bite them later.  Bottling up the feels is universally unhealthy, but it might be necessary at the time.  Perhaps they just aren't at a point where they can emotionally handle it right then, so they don't.  Save it for later, when you can use a future event that parallels your original one to relate it to.

[enayasoul]

Progman Omega wrote...

enayasoul wrote...

Right now, still thinking on how Shepard's going to deal with a problem... and Miranda's reaction to what happened in the last chapter has me a bit stuck.  (Emotions of what happened)  Maybe I can have them intentional ignore the issue?   [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/uncertain.png[/smilie]  Don't thinks that's gonna work though. [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/tongue.png[/smilie]  Come on  b r a i n  t h i n k!   Sleeping on it didn't help much. It's been a week.  It's a rather short chapter. 

Whenever I'm stuck on any portion of a story, I write out that one character punches another in the face along with the subsequent reaction.  Even if there isn't actually a second character in the scene.  Señor Chewbacca is excellent in his recurring role as the 'second character'.  I dunno, this just works for me.  Who knows?  It might just jog your noggin'.

And you could have them ignore it, and have that come back to bite them later.  Bottling up the feels is universally unhealthy, but it might be necessary at the time.  Perhaps they just aren't at a point where they can emotionally handle it right then, so they don't.  Save it for later, when you can use a future event that parallels your original one to relate it to.

You bring up some interesting points to think about.  I've done that to some extent.  (comes back to bite them later).  Miranda failed to resolve an issue when presented at the time... dealed with the situation this time but in doing so may have caused even more problems because the problem might not have be resolved entirely how she had hoped or how Shepard hopes.

Gotta enjoy torturing your protags a little.   Plus, can't have the antagonist loose just yet. Maybe it intensifies the threat a bit more...  At the time, I had to think on how to weasel him(antag) out of it... not to spoil it in so many words.

Shepard also has his own problems with Ashley...   Shepard's loyal to Miranda but ****s getting tough for all involved in the next few chapters.

I guess what I want to do is have the protags at its lowest point... of losing all... then come back near the end getting rid of the threat once and for all.   But that didn't happen until ME3... going to be tricky... may end up doing it differently after all.

Just for reference this fic takes place before ME3... about to lead into it in a few more chapters. So, enough of my ramblings.  
Just needed a sound board, I think. Time go write.  Thanks! [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/wizard.png[/smilie]

Modifié par enayasoul, 16 avril 2013 - 10:39 .

[Progman Omega]

@enayasoul Hey, no problem. Just happy to help.

[MrStoob]

enayasoul wrote...

Progman Omega wrote...

enayasoul wrote...

Right now, still thinking on how Shepard's going to deal with a problem... and Miranda's reaction to what happened in the last chapter has me a bit stuck.  (Emotions of what happened)  Maybe I can have them intentional ignore the issue?   [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/uncertain.png[/smilie]  Don't thinks that's gonna work though. [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/tongue.png[/smilie]  Come on  b r a i n  t h i n k!   Sleeping on it didn't help much. It's been a week.  It's a rather short chapter. 

Whenever I'm stuck on any portion of a story, I write out that one character punches another in the face along with the subsequent reaction.  Even if there isn't actually a second character in the scene.  Señor Chewbacca is excellent in his recurring role as the 'second character'.  I dunno, this just works for me.  Who knows?  It might just jog your noggin'.

And you could have them ignore it, and have that come back to bite them later.  Bottling up the feels is universally unhealthy, but it might be necessary at the time.  Perhaps they just aren't at a point where they can emotionally handle it right then, so they don't.  Save it for later, when you can use a future event that parallels your original one to relate it to.

You bring up some interesting points to think about.  I've done that to some extent.  (comes back to bite them later).  Miranda failed to resolve an issue when presented at the time... dealed with the situation this time but in doing so may have caused even more problems because the problem might not have be resolved entirely how she had hoped or how Shepard hopes.

Gotta enjoy torturing your protags a little.   Plus, can't have the antagonist loose just yet. Maybe it intensifies the threat a bit more...  At the time, I had to think on how to weasel him(antag) out of it... not to spoil it in so many words.

Shepard also has his own problems with Ashley...   Shepard's loyal to Miranda but ****s getting tough for all involved in the next few chapters.

I guess what I want to do is have the protags at its lowest point... of losing all... then come back near the end getting rid of the threat once and for all.   But that didn't happen until ME3... going to be tricky... may end up doing it differently after all.

Just for reference this fic takes place before ME3... about to lead into it in a few more chapters. So, enough of my ramblings.  
Just needed a sound board, I think. Time go write.  Thanks! [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/wizard.png[/smilie]

I like bottling, hehe.  When the tension of the bottle pops, there's all kinds of explosive emotional fun to be had.

[Fairybolt]

MrStoob wrote...
So Thought/Question of the Day: Are you writing what/how you expected or intended, or have you consciously changed your style/content to what you want?

I really need to post here more.  I always find the questions here so cool.

But, this is a really good one for me because I'm specifically writing a lengthy original character ME fanfic because I want to see where I'm weak and where I'm strong.  I think I'm getting plenty of both.  Right now, I'm getting mostly the same feedback from readers.  My two leads are great.  They all love them.  In fact, they like all of my characters.  They like the right people, respond to them how I want them to, and hate the one goon I introduced.  Getting real feedback is kind of difficult, particularly since my blog is attracting music fans more lately since I do kind of an underground column talking about records I love.

The big thing I'm learning is that I can plot, but I have trouble drawing that plot out.  It's in my head, I know where I want to go, but putting it out there is proving more difficult.  Part of it is I am specifically limiting my space, I think.  I feel a bit constrained in that aspect, but I also sort of see it as necessary.  I tend to let my characters go off on tangeants if I don't stomp down on myself, and that's part of why I'm doing this.  Instilling a bit of discipline. What ends up happening, though, is that when I subsequently begin to introduce plot elements they seem a bt disconnected from previous chapters.  They feel, at least to me, to come out of left field a little bit.  My last two chapters have been like that.  The first was a dream the narrator had, and I don't think I hinted at it enough previously.  This last one was a firm decision by the same character, and my concern is I didn't set the stage for the character to make such a life altering decision.  It certainly always was my intention for her to make it, but I'm not sure I sold it enough beforehand.

On the other hand, I think these are things I can fix in revisions and with an actual outline of the story.  So, there is what's gonig to change for me.  It's all the mechanics in the background.  I can write characters from the hip, but not plot, and in my more serious work I'll have to plan accordingly.

Modifié par Fairybolt, 18 avril 2013 - 01:37 .

[MrStoob]

Fairybolt wrote...
On the other hand, I think these are things I can fix in revisions and with an actual outline of the story.  So, there is what's gonig to change for me.  It's all the mechanics in the background.  I can write characters from the hip, but not plot, and in my more serious work I'll have to plan accordingly.

As suggested in my post above, plot planning is a huge failing of mine.  I know the milestones but the bits in between are pretty haphazard.  I sort of organically think about what each character would be doing to advance to 'milestone A' but nothing planned out, just on the fly writing to try and get everyone to the same page.  It can be, and it has been mentioned, a bit jarring the way I end up getting there sometimes.

[MrStoob]

Been writing a scene and would like opinion/waffle.

I've a young asari character (Sha'li, currently 30s adolescent age) and she's having a 'heart to heart' with her adoptive parent, Ashley.

For background, in the ME1 campaign, the Normandy saved a group of asari from slavers and the toddler Sha'li took to Ashley quite strongly, and vice-versa. Sha'li's parents were killed on Illium during the Reaper war and Conrad rescues her. Ashley and Sha'li met up on the Citadel. So when they met up on the Citadel and Sha'li explains about the 'scary monsters' who took her mother and aunt, she asks, "Will you be my mummy?"

I specifically avoided 'mother', 'mommy' or 'mom' because it just didn't sound right in that moment. 'Mummy' just seemed more vulnerable and 'sweet'. I'm English and it was painful to write my child Shepard opening chapter due to the use of 'mommy', but it lent to the overall 'cutesy' tone.

Sorry about the long winded background to my point.

Now that she's older, it's ended up that she calls Ash 'mum', she refers to her natural mother as 'mother', and Ashley calls herself 'mom'. Being a 'stroppy teenager', it didn't seem right for her to use 'mother'. It can make for conversations like below:

"Hi, mum."
"You okay?"
"I was just thinking about mother..."
"Aw, you want a hug from your old mom?"

*Sudden thought for sub-plot while pondering this*

Oh man, I'm evil...

[Progman Omega]

MrStoob wrote...

Been writing a scene and would like opinion/waffle.

I've a young asari character (Sha'li, currently 30s adolescent age) and she's having a 'heart to heart' with her adoptive parent, Ashley.

For background, in the ME1 campaign, the Normandy saved a group of asari from slavers and the toddler Sha'li took to Ashley quite strongly, and vice-versa. Sha'li's parents were killed on Illium during the Reaper war and Conrad rescues her. Ashley and Sha'li met up on the Citadel. So when they met up on the Citadel and Sha'li explains about the 'scary monsters' who took her mother and aunt, she asks, "Will you be my mummy?"

I specifically avoided 'mother', 'mommy' or 'mom' because it just didn't sound right in that moment. 'Mummy' just seemed more vulnerable and 'sweet'. I'm English and it was painful to write my child Shepard opening chapter due to the use of 'mommy', but it lent to the overall 'cutesy' tone.

Sorry about the long winded background to my point.

Now that she's older, it's ended up that she calls Ash 'mum', she refers to her natural mother as 'mother', and Ashley calls herself 'mom'. Being a 'stroppy teenager', it didn't seem right for her to use 'mother'. It can make for conversations like below:

"Hi, mum."
"You okay?"
"I was just thinking about mother..."
"Aw, you want a hug from your old mom?"

*Sudden thought for sub-plot while pondering this*

Oh man, I'm evil...

I think that's just plain adorable, since all three of those words easily mean different things in the situation you described.  It also shows just how close Ash and Sha'li are that they can instantly know what the other is talking about, when from an observer's point of view they are speaking gibberish.  

It's also really funny if you consider that Sha'li may be older than Ash. XD  

Ah.  Crazy asari and they're crazy age milestones.  Whaddya gonna do?

[MrStoob]

A question for the Miranda-philes please.

Is Miranda a 'natural biotic' like the asari or does she have an L3/L4 implant like regular humans?

[hot_heart]

MrStoob wrote...

A question for the Miranda-philes please.

Is Miranda a 'natural biotic' like the asari or does she have an L3/L4 implant like regular humans?

Well...

The lore is a little funny on this one. I would say she has implants. Though, even ME1 implies that asari have them too; I seem to recall a discussion related to that many, many months ago in this thread when lilli could post. Essentially, I figure bio-amps boost power for asari, too.

If you meant more about the eezo exposure/natural potential side of things, she mentions that her biotics were paid for by her father. Only it might be worth bearing in mind that she was born even before the First Contact War, meaning no knowledge of those benefits at that time.

A few Miranda fans have posited that her father was inspired by a surgical procedure that krogan were using to gift them with biotics, forcing her to undergo an adapted version of that at some point during her childhood. She only survived thanks to her enhanced healing and such.

Personally, that's the best lore-friendly explanation I can see. In the back of my mind, I add the detail that the krogan weren't especially concerned about preserving fertility when they developed the process, and that translated into Henry Lawson's work, too, unfortunately. Though, I'm not sure if I'd ever mention that in my own story. Partly because it's a sore subject to many fans who'd prefer it forgotten, but mainly because I'm no good at expounding on scientific stuff.

[Seracen]

Honestly, I never really delved far into the nature of the implants tech or biotic, as it's just a means to an end in terms of what the characters can do.   I want it to be more about the actions in the moment, rather than the reasoning behind it.

I find myself being self-conscious every time I used a named biotic attack. I mean, I've used a lot of them by now, but whenever I describe the sensation of using a Reave, Warp, or an Overload/Incinerate (for Tech Omnitool users), I always 2nd-guess myself.

It's sort of like the same problem I had with writing Final Fantasy based stories back in the day. You want to use the spells, but you want to be careful how you use them, or it can come off sounding fake, cheesy, or overly technical.

"Why yes Capt, the dilithium crystal caused a backflow in the inertial dampeners which [snore]."

"Why yes, his HP was down to 1, so I used a bottle of Esuna to remove his [WTH am I talking about?! What is HP?!]"

On the other hand, brief mentions are necessary, so it doesn't seem all mystical (aka: "using the Force").

But that's just me, I've seen plenty of examples where the explanations worked, I was just never able to pull it off.

Case in point, the last official ME novel to come out, the author wrote a scene where someone exchanged their L2 (?) implant for an upgrade, and the fandom cried "foul" on it; as such a procedure would take major surgery, and be near-fatal.

That novel had other things going wrong, but yeah, there you go.  Moreover, there's something to be said for sheer willpower when it comes to how powerful one becomes.  I mean, I imagine someone like Kaiden should NOT be able to cast Reave with an L2, but hey, he practiced hard.

Modifié par Seracen, 18 avril 2013 - 11:45 .

[hot_heart]

Seracen wrote...
Honestly, I never really delved far into the nature of the implants tech or biotic, as it's just a means to an end in terms of what the characters can do.   I want it to be more about the actions in the moment, rather than the reasoning behind it.

I find myself being self-conscious every time I used a named biotic attack.

Yeah, I'm the same. Though, with certain characters, it's useful to have background info that informs their personality, actions, etc. (eg. Kaidan)

If you can find some depth, I think it's worthwhile.

[Seracen]

hot_heart wrote...

Yeah, I'm the same. Though, with certain characters, it's useful to have background info that informs their personality, actions, etc. (eg. Kaidan)

If you can find some depth, I think it's worthwhile.

Oop, editing my comment when you replied, haha.

But yes, I agree with this completely.  If it adds to the story, and serves a purpose, there's no reason one shouldn't be allowed to include it.

The trick is not bogging oneself down with such things.  I don't know how much stuff I've cut out of my various writings by this point.  As I stated earlier, I edited out an entire character, and it made the story flow so much better.

By comparison, I've added whole plot threads that ended up being necessary to set up the storyline beats; because they ended up being necessary.

Modifié par Seracen, 18 avril 2013 - 11:49 .

[MrStoob]

Cheers all.

It wasn't so much the background of Miranda herself, but her 'clone sister' (don't ask...) and whether she could actually just naturally 'use' biotics or whether she would have had to have been implanted at some point. Seems the lore is vague and the community possibly divided. I haven't specifically mentioned the ins and outs but the asari in my fics just 'use' biotics but I can see the idea of the genes only providing potential and an implant still being required in any species. Like I said, I haven't mentioned it at all yet so it could still go either way.  I think for this scenario it would be important to mention the whys and wherefors a little rather than just 'and Miranda mk II performs space magic'.

Modifié par MrStoob, 19 avril 2013 - 12:05 .