9962 réponses à ce sujet

[AustereLemur799]

MrStoob wrote...

Ohhhh that's interesting, the bit about Saren and 'Jack Harper' being involved with this 'monolith'. Did it perchance have indoctrinating powers?

Also, interesting take re: Thessian beacon. I've played with that within the total ME3 arc, and it being the asari's dirty little secret. I made it the cause of Benezia and Aethyta's 'break up'.

Nice idea with Benezia and Aethyta!

To be honest, I've had a lot of issues writing them together. To be honest it's harder to figure out exactly why they broke up in the first place - why did Benezia choose to conceive a pureblood daughter in the first place (seeing as she was a teacher of the Siari Philosophy - procreation with aliens in order to provide longevity to the failing asari bloodline, even though asari do not take genetics from the 'father'/sire)?

Big questions. Aethyta sounded resentful; she said something about Benezia being too good and not being able to be the 'wise councillor' if she was married (bonded in asari terms).

My favourite fanfic so far on Benezia and Aethyta is by R.J Ames on FFN with a story called An Unexpected Visit. If you are interested in Benezia and Aethyta, then I definitely recommend that you check it out!

Back to Saren and the Monolith in the First Contact War. You should definitely check out ME: Evolution (one of the comics). General Desolas (Saren's brother) discovers it at the end of the war, just before the ceasefire.

This is where Ashley Williams's grandfather comes in! General Williams is the one who sent Jack Harper (Illusive Man) and co, including Eva someone (can't remember the name off-hand, sorry!) who Illusive Man later bases the Dr Eva robot on (the one EDI takes over in ME3).

And, yes, the Arca Mononlith (as I believe it was called) did indeed have indocrinating powers. To begin with, only Desolas's team was turned. He tried to control them. But seeing as how Jack Harper and co captured Desolas, they discovered the Monolith for themselves.

One of Jack's crew, Ben, got hit by the Monolith. Jack (Illusive Man) leapt in with the intention of saving him. As a result, he got hit - but only with a diminished charge, which is crucial!

Later, Jack Harper (Illusive Man) displays special abilities like being able to understand and speak the asari language.

Ben Hislop, the guy who was directly hit by the Monolith seemed to be dead initially. However, he was reanimated.

It is important to note, however, that although Ben seemed indoctrinated thereafter; he actually managed to regain a semblance of humanity for a few moments as evidenced when he spared Eva enen though he was ordered to kill her.

Since ME3, I'm still not entirely sure if the indoctrination from the Arca Monolith came from the Reapers or the Leviathans.

The Arca Monolith wanted to create more 'followers'. Desolas moved toward that end. It was only Saren who actually discovered what was going on (upon discovering a second 'Monolith' at Temple Palaven where the first artefact was moved to - he deduced that Desolas was encouraged to link the devices in close proximity in order to increase the power/influence.

It's an interesting topic, and I really could go on for ages!

Thanks again!

Modifié par AustereLemur799, 28 octobre 2013 - 02:04 .

[AustereLemur799]

Double post, sorry!

Further to that, something I said was censored. I don't remember if I used illicit language or if it was something else. Either way; my apologies

As I said; feel free to PM me on this topic - I have a lot to say on it!

Modifié par AustereLemur799, 28 octobre 2013 - 02:14 .

[hot_heart]

Perhaps this doesn't apply to certain people's stories, but part of the reason I am struggling with this latest chapter is that it feels like it's just going through the motions/is predictable yet I don't want to just rush over things as if they're some sort of afterthought.

In my case, of course Miranda's ex-colleagues will agree to team-up, but I don't think they were just sitting around, waiting for a phonecall; if they've been in hiding as in my story, there's bound to be resistance. So I'm trying to write a sort of 'winning them over' scenario but it just seems so...dull. Perhaps it won't appear that way in reading, yet my own knowledge of it colours my enthusiasm.

Anyone else get that? You know where things have to go or where you wanted them to go, but it lacks any tension or doesn't seem as interesting when actually writing it?

[MrStoob]

If it isn't working for you, I wonder if extending a scene that serves a purpose but doesn't really go anywhere apart from the next chapter, then does it need to be a whole chapter?

[enayasoul]

hot_heart wrote...

Perhaps this doesn't apply to certain people's stories, but part of the reason I am struggling with this latest chapter is that it feels like it's just going through the motions/is predictable yet I don't want to just rush over things as if they're some sort of afterthought.

In my case, of course Miranda's ex-colleagues will agree to team-up, but I don't think they were just sitting around, waiting for a phonecall; if they've been in hiding as in my story, there's bound to be resistance. So I'm trying to write a sort of 'winning them over' scenario but it just seems so...dull. Perhaps it won't appear that way in reading, yet my own knowledge of it colours my enthusiasm.

Anyone else get that? You know where things have to go or where you wanted them to go, but it lacks any tension or doesn't seem as interesting when actually writing it?

Yep!  Maybe these ex-colleagues need some evidence from Miranda that she's not the 'bad guy'. Or perhaps they test her in some way to prove her allegiance to their cause and that she's left her old boss behind? 


I'm struggling with getting the last part of my chapter done... I had *an issue* all spilled out by a conversation with the three key characters in my story but then I thought wait a minute... why reveal any of this right now?  I can make this more suspenseful for the reader and not reveal anything until the end.

It's actually pretty hard to do because the reader will know if not careful.  It's clever how TV shows do this... crime drama's especially.  Who really did it?  I can usually tell but then sometimes they've cleverly try to mislead you into other possible suspects then bam you with the real killer.  Sometimes who you thought all a long or blown away by it all together.

Without giving the total scenerio away... a certain character is going to deal with a particular problem. Two possible ways it can go in the end. Good or bad.  A test of betrayal so to speak.  Should be interesting. 

Any do any betrayal stuff in there writing? Or know of examples of this.  Also, know of a tv show or movie that features a facility being broken into more than once?  That's my other dilema.  The people (at the place) are going to know they'll be back. Heh.

Modifié par enayasoul, 29 octobre 2013 - 05:48 .

[Seracen]

hot_heart wrote...

Perhaps this doesn't apply to certain people's stories, but part of the reason I am struggling with this latest chapter is that it feels like it's just going through the motions/is predictable yet I don't want to just rush over things as if they're some sort of afterthought.

In my case, of course Miranda's ex-colleagues will agree to team-up, but I don't think they were just sitting around, waiting for a phonecall; if they've been in hiding as in my story, there's bound to be resistance. So I'm trying to write a sort of 'winning them over' scenario but it just seems so...dull. Perhaps it won't appear that way in reading, yet my own knowledge of it colours my enthusiasm.

Anyone else get that? You know where things have to go or where you wanted them to go, but it lacks any tension or doesn't seem as interesting when actually writing it?

I am getting this currently with my ending chapter, I think.  One of the ONLY downsides to having the whole thing planned out as much as it is.  Of course, I can't know if it's obvious to the readers, but I'VE known how things will pan out the whole time.

So the ending is sort of "going through the motions" for me, as I knew everything.  I just spent all last night brainstorming a new sequence of events, and I finally got more motivation for the chapter.

I'd say you can use those feelings to write the chapter.  Have Miranda approach them as "listen, you know it's right, you know it needs to happen, and you know you're going to say 'yes,' so save us all the trouble and come along already."

For that matter, have the "Recruitment Chapter" take care of ALL the squaddies, assuming their aren't already all in one place.  Just flash all over the place, set up the mood of the atmosphere, then do a simple proposal to form the team from Miranda.

Jump cut to the next location, rinse and repeat.  At least, that's how I might approach this.  Best of luck!

[hot_heart]

Thanks for the support, guys, I think I've got over 'the hump' now.

MrStoob wrote...

If it isn't working for you, I wonder if extending a scene that serves a purpose but doesn't really go anywhere apart from the next chapter, then does it need to be a whole chapter?

Oh, it's not the whole chapter and I''m not trying to drag things out. There is a lead-up and some initial tension, but I just feel it would be too flat if it were simply, "Hi, guys. Let's go!" Just have to find that middle ground.

With hindsight, I should've established Miranda making old connections much earlier, but here we are...

Of course, now I've tied myself up in knots over whether Miranda would be frustrated that certain individuals are joining up simply because they're spoiling for a fight or if she'd accept whatever she could get.  I'm going with the latter, though not without her reservations. She has her pride, after all.

[Seracen]

Knowing Miri though, that's likely more to be internal gripes, as she isn't the sort to let others in on what she's thinking.

EDIT:  Oh thank God!  I've made some real progress with this last chapter.  Most of the meaty bits are done, now it's just fleshing out a bit of dialogue, and one or two combat sequences (which I pre-wrote, just need to adjust and plug in).

I don't know why, but writing the epilogue to all this will almost seem easy, after the hurdle I just had to deal with.  I can write epilogues in my sleep (and if my dreams can attest, I often DO).

Which goes in hand with the question raised before.  I amend that: while I plan my stories whole from the outset nowadays, the middle and the epilogue are the most fun parts for me.

Beginnings and endings seem like foregone conclusions, but I can play around with the middle.  I rarely need to plan my epilogues, I just let them occur naturally from what I've written.  Epilogues are, by far, the easiest thing for me to write.

That's likely why my ME3 ending fic was so fast to write.  29K words in less than a week, and it was almost ALL epilogue, haha!

Modifié par Seracen, 31 octobre 2013 - 04:49 .

[hot_heart]

Seracen wrote...
Knowing Miri though, that's likely more to be internal gripes, as she isn't the sort to let others in on what she's thinking.

Well, she was never one to shy away from voicing her objections when it came to the mission.

Though, in some ways that was part of the "These are your options" bits with Jacob and Miranda.

Also, hooray for progress!

[MrStoob]

Interesting that point about Miri's concerns. In a story I never got around to continuing, Miri is the main character (post-war/Shep) and a new operative she hires is a bit green around the gills. I mention that previously, Miri would only accept the best and most committed but her time with Shepard has shown her that not all things can be controlled and sometimes you just have to go with what you've got and roll with the punches. I think Miri's pragmatic enough for that. Besides "Nobody's perfect."

[hot_heart]

Ha, funny you should mention that, because it's very much a strong part of the chapter; Miranda accepting her circumstances and that you have to 'do the best with what you have'. Also connected to how she can't fully control the fates of her and Shepard, which was part of the ME2 romance arc.

[YurigirlzCrush]

*puts on maid's outfit and nekomimi, grabs duster and broom, clears out the space again*

I have come to restore life to my favorite thread on the citadel! *grins* so... here's a question. just a sanity check really. how many corrupt agents can you put into an organization that buys and sells secrets before it stretches the bounds of believability? or, I should clarify, how many undetected corrupt agents, since I have a few being discovered almost immediately? i'm starting to wonder if people will call me for believability issues. my story's plot involves a new challenge to the Shadow Broker, and I was planning to insert a few moles into the organization. but it got me thinking... is two rogue agents too many in an organization that's all about the buying and selling of secrets? i'd imagine that in any covert organization, agents switching loyalties does happen. also... is ten years of plotting against the broker too much to believe since the broker's job is all about uncovering secrets? I've been thinking that it's fine for a careful and patient enemy, but... opinions?

[sH0tgUn jUliA]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

*puts on maid's outfit and nekomimi, grabs duster and broom, clears out the space again*

I have come to restore life to my favorite thread on the citadel! *grins* so... here's a question. just a sanity check really. how many corrupt agents can you put into an organization that buys and sells secrets before it stretches the bounds of believability? or, I should clarify, how many undetected corrupt agents, since I have a few being discovered almost immediately? i'm starting to wonder if people will call me for believability issues. my story's plot involves a new challenge to the Shadow Broker, and I was planning to insert a few moles into the organization. but it got me thinking... is two rogue agents too many in an organization that's all about the buying and selling of secrets? i'd imagine that in any covert organization, agents switching loyalties does happen. also... is ten years of plotting against the broker too much to believe since the broker's job is all about uncovering secrets? I've been thinking that it's fine for a careful and patient enemy, but... opinions?

That would depend upon their location and for whom they are working. How many KGB double agents were working for the CIA during the cold war and vice versa? The key to being a good corrupt agent is to make sure you pass mostly good information along to the person you're plotting against.

[fainmaca]

Hey guys. Been a while since I showed up in this neck of the woods. RL is a pain in the azure.

I have a little dilemma in front of me, and was wondering if I could pick your collective brains a little?

What is the best policy on policing reviews? I've received a review that is... lets just say whoever posted it is not a friendly being to share this planet with. I have no idea who it is, have had no interaction with anybody which may have provoked this kind of response, and the chapter being reviewed doesn't even have anything in it that could be seen as provocation.

Anyway, my first thought was to delete it, but is that wise? Would others see the review being deleted and cry out 'censorship'? Worse still, would it push whoever this is to further activities?

If you want to see the review, its for my main fic, 'Into The Unknown'. Its on the first page of reviews, and I don't think it'd take much deductive reasoning to guess which one I'm talking about. I can't post a copy of the review here, because language filter.

Help?

Fainmaca Out.

[MrStoob]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

*puts on maid's outfit and nekomimi, grabs duster and broom, clears out the space again*

I had to google 'nekomimi' but to quote Joker, "Take pictures!" 

YurigirlzCrush wrote...
I have come to restore life to my favorite thread on the citadel! *grins* so... here's a question. just a sanity check really. how many corrupt agents can you put into an organization that buys and sells secrets before it stretches the bounds of believability? or, I should clarify, how many undetected corrupt agents, since I have a few being discovered almost immediately? i'm starting to wonder if people will call me for believability issues. my story's plot involves a new challenge to the Shadow Broker, and I was planning to insert a few moles into the organization. but it got me thinking... is two rogue agents too many in an organization that's all about the buying and selling of secrets? i'd imagine that in any covert organization, agents switching loyalties does happen. also... is ten years of plotting against the broker too much to believe since the broker's job is all about uncovering secrets? I've been thinking that it's fine for a careful and patient enemy, but... opinions?

How believeable have you made it? If it's not overly-important to the tale and there's been a bit of hand-wavy-ness about how they've stayed undetected, that'll probably do IMHO.  I presume you'll be coming in at the '**** hits the fan' stage anyway.

Edit: In my mind, it's something like this:

Modifié par MrStoob, 02 novembre 2013 - 11:56 .

[MrStoob]

fainmaca wrote...

Hey guys. Been a while since I showed up in this neck of the woods. RL is a pain in the azure.

I have a little dilemma in front of me, and was wondering if I could pick your collective brains a little?

What is the best policy on policing reviews? I've received a review that is... lets just say whoever posted it is not a friendly being to share this planet with. I have no idea who it is, have had no interaction with anybody which may have provoked this kind of response, and the chapter being reviewed doesn't even have anything in it that could be seen as provocation.

Anyway, my first thought was to delete it, but is that wise? Would others see the review being deleted and cry out 'censorship'? Worse still, would it push whoever this is to further activities?

If you want to see the review, its for my main fic, 'Into The Unknown'. Its on the first page of reviews, and I don't think it'd take much deductive reasoning to guess which one I'm talking about. I can't post a copy of the review here, because language filter.

Help?

Fainmaca Out.

I'd personally say it has no bearing or relevance to the written work itself and treat it as such.  I've no idea why an idiot would do such a thing but I certainly wouldn't see it as 'censorship' to remove something like that, even if it is in reaction to what you wrote (I presume re: Javik?).

[Rixatrix]

Fainmaca, I would definitely delete that "review."

Criticism is acceptable. If someone didn't like your story, s/he should be able to say so (and even better, say why). That sort of thing can help you gain perspective and maybe even help you develop as a writer. Hate speech or threats aimed at the author ARE NOT criticism and ARE NOT acceptable contents for a review. I'm sure FF.net's policies reflect this. Remove it.

As far as not knowing what prompted it, I wouldn't waste time thinking it over. Some people are just nuts -- a link to your fic is in your sig, so someone may not have liked a post of yours on BSN even, or if your handle is the same as your gamertag, maybe a multi-player feud. In any case, try not to take this to heart and just remove it.

You *do* run the risk of inciting this troll to further action, but if s/he posts an attack on you like this again, go to the FF.net moderators. I'm sure they have procedures in place to deal with such people.

Modifié par BlueMoonSeraphim, 02 novembre 2013 - 11:55 .

[fluffywalrus]

I just leave the negative reviews up. Normally, they're guest reviews, so I can't PM them privately, so at the end of the following chapter, I tend to respond publicly to them if I decide to at all (usually if someone just says it sucks, well, I ignore it. if someone displays absolutely poor comprehension skills in their review, I'll call them out, whatever). And sometimes the begative reviewers have a point, and I will concede that. No one's perfect

But I really DO wish people made accounts for when they wanted to review, because people always ask these questions, and I'm dying to answer them, but it's really difficult to, since they're anonymous

I will say that if it's entirely inflammatory and a personal attack, and makes you uncomfortable as an author, then by all means, do what your heart tells you to do and delete it.

Modifié par fluffywalrus, 03 novembre 2013 - 01:16 .

[Fatiguesdualism]

@Fainmaca: I would say remove it, as it is most obviously not a review of your work - but a personal attack.

@YurigirlzCrush: I wouldn't say what you're thinking is implausible (try googling Cambridge Spy Ring) but I wouldn't do a 24!  I mean don't have everyone -and their father- have agents in the Brokers organisation, but one or two well-placed moles can do a LOT of damage!

Modifié par Fatiguesdualism, 03 novembre 2013 - 12:48 .

[fainmaca]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I've decided to do the logical thing and simply remove it.

I just can't figure out why somebody decided to post that against my fic. I really do mean it when there is nobody at all that I could have provoked to do this. The only multiplayer I engage in is TOR, and I solo that, and the only online presence I have is on FF and here on the BSN. Its very disconcerting that a total stranger has decided for no reason to behave so aggressively towards me.

Anyway, hopefully this is the end of it now. Thank you all for weighing in on the issue.

Fainmaca Out.

[MrStoob]

fluffywalrus wrote...
But I really DO wish people made accounts for when they wanted to review, because people always ask these questions, and I'm dying to answer them, but it's really difficult to, since they're anonymous

I hate that... One of my anon reviewers from Blue created a pseud for themselves (Totally Blue) to 'anonymously' place comments but always had nice things to say.  Never had a chance to answer their occasional queries or say thanks for the support, apart from a short A/N at the end of the book.

Only vitriole I've received on FF was over a piece I did about Tali.  I left the comment up as it was only Talimancer rage, which isn't quite the same as a personal attack.  Hope it's just a random occurence Fainmaca.

Modifié par MrStoob, 03 novembre 2013 - 01:47 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

thanks for the replies all! *grins* and yes, Stoob! nekomimi and maid outfits! exactly!

I appreciate the sanity check though, really! my story will involve a group that's trying to supplant the shadow broker and has been working on it for some time. I figured getting one or two moles into positions of use in the organization wouldn't be impossible. but given that the broker's whole deal is uncovering secrets, I wanted to be sure I wouldn't be going too far overboard to have a couple agents successfully hiding in her organization... at least until something happens to blow their cover... so thanks!

btw, I hope everyone had a pretty peachy Halloween! *grins* of course, it's a big deal around here, what with my little sisters and all. it gives me an excuse to dress up every year and act like a big kid. I only wish I actually had a real nekomimi/maid costume! *wistful sigh* maybe next year. *grins*

edit: I hope it all works out for you Maika. I wasn't sure whether to support leaving it or taking it down just because of what I saw once, where someone left a nasty review on a story I follow, the author took it down, and the same person proceeded to leave upwards of 20+ new reviews that were much much much nastier. *frowns* some trolls are particularly dedicated to their craft...

Modifié par YurigirlzCrush, 03 novembre 2013 - 01:55 .

[Seracen]

fainmaca wrote...

Thank you all so much for your replies. I've decided to do the logical thing and simply remove it.

I just can't figure out why somebody decided to post that against my fic. I really do mean it when there is nobody at all that I could have provoked to do this. The only multiplayer I engage in is TOR, and I solo that, and the only online presence I have is on FF and here on the BSN. Its very disconcerting that a total stranger has decided for no reason to behave so aggressively towards me.

Anyway, hopefully this is the end of it now. Thank you all for weighing in on the issue.

Fainmaca Out.

Best of luck to you!  I have had a case or two of true vitriol as well.  I was able to message the user directly, and more or less called him on his BS (if he wanted to affect the story, he had to approach me differently).  True, I would hardly let someone else control my work to such an extent, but one could hardly hope to impact the style of the story (they hates) with such troll-worthy comments.

At any rate, it isn't wrong, and best of luck, once again.  I'd just chalk it down to the same level of fanboyism that lead to the shut down of the BSN Romance Threads (incidentally, my hate mail was over a romantic coupling).

[sH0tgUn jUliA]

Negative criticism I can handle is if it is written articulately by an educated person and points out actual story deficiencies where things could be improved. Negative criticism that is a personal attack and contains profanities gets deleted.

[MrStoob]

I don't mind profanities so much (people articulate in different ways), but yea, there has to be some worth to the criticism (if there is any).