9962 réponses à ce sujet

[hot_heart]

Oh dear. I'm a bit stuck on the current chapter (nothing new there!) so I decided to make a start on the one after, with the romantic flashback stuff. It's enjoyable and I'm motivated to write it, but this...this is not my forte. Will definitely be seeking feedback on this, embarrassing as it may be.

[YurigirlzCrush]

I have no idea what bioware team runs TOR, but they have the worst customer service system ever. my sister can't get onto her TOR account because she has a new laptop and the system keeps telling her it doesn't recognize the computer she's using and they sent her a one-time code to verify. but nothing has showed up in her email after over 20 minutes now... and when she tries to access the customer service forums, it tells her to log in... which she can't... because it won't send her the code... and when she goes to customer support, it asks her to log in... pattern much? something sketchy is going on here.

I've never seen anything this stupid from a customer service system. ever!

on the plus side? I guess it's pretty secure. it won't even let its owner log in. *shakes head*

Modifié par YurigirlzCrush, 20 novembre 2013 - 12:19 .

[Fatiguesdualism]

After a bit of thought I'm thinking 'Chorus Girl' or 'Chorus Dancer' I feel it's similar enough to 'Cheerleader' to work and (to me) kind of mocks Miranda's fairly restrained/cold demeanour, but still acknowledges her looks. Or should I keep thinking a bit more?

@hot_heart: Hmm, not really sold on 'Hex' as you say I think Joker would focus more on her demeanour (especially as he's talking to a Shep who likes Miranda's appearance)

@MrStoob: 'Cheerleader' was my first thought too but considering how Jack 'left' felt it was a bit too aggressive. On the other hand it could be a bit of knife twisting for Shepard by a clueless Joker!

@YurigirlzCrush: Sorry - but those choccy digis where tasking me - and I had to have them! If it'll make you feel better I'll leave lots of crumbs about (also FluffyWalrus has a new chapter -not my doing- but I hope it helps!  edit: Just realised it went up about a day ago - I should check my e-mails more often, sorry!) 

p.s. It was an invisible comma, hot_heart, honest!

p.p.s. No it wasn't I lied; now I feel bad! 

@hot_heart:  Romance I just can't write.  Read yes, to a certain extent, but writing it?  Feels like pulling teeth or something!

Modifié par Fatiguesdualism, 20 novembre 2013 - 12:27 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

@Fatigues: oh, I know! I claimed my coveted position of first review for it! *grins*

and for one of the other two new chapters for non ME stories too. i'm a fluffy fan. *smiles* I follow all fluffy works!

[Fatiguesdualism]

edit:  Spoiler Alert regarding the movie Sixth Sense - If you have yet to see it just skip this post!

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

@Fatigues: oh, I know! I claimed my coveted position of first review for it! *grins*

and for one of the other two new chapters for non ME stories too. i'm a fluffy fan. *smiles* I follow all fluffy works!

Ah, I'm only following her ME stuff - I've never seen (Glee?) so I don't really know the other stuff.  Anyway that's my weekend reading so no spoilers please!   They never did find the so-and-so who said to me about that Bruce Willis movie Sixth Sense  'There's a really great twist at the end, you'll never see it coming.  But it all makes sense'  Well I probably wouldn't have if he hadn't said anything! 

Modifié par Fatiguesdualism, 20 novembre 2013 - 12:38 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

I would never spoil anything! *indignant huff*

I was never into glee either, but the glee stories are still fluffy work. so I learned about the characters as I went. I follow all fluffy works! *grins* her writing is just too awesome to ignore any of it.

[enayasoul]

hot_heart wrote...

Oh dear. I'm a bit stuck on the current chapter (nothing new there!) so I decided to make a start on the one after, with the romantic flashback stuff. It's enjoyable and I'm motivated to write it, but this...this is not my forte. Will definitely be seeking feedback on this, embarrassing as it may be.

Probably the best way to get over being stuck is to work on other parts and maybe something will click and give you some ideas on how to proceed with your chapter.  I'd be happy to give you some feedback.  I love a good romance.  Is it going to be a really naughty scene?  Only teasing.

 

I'll admit I'm having some trouble in picking which way I want to go in my latest chapter.  Three possible solutions but unsure which one I'll take.  I also don't want it to seem like a cop-out to the audience. The readers know what could possibly happen from the suggestions I've received in feedback.  They seem excited.

Would Miranda rather play it safe and avoid working with Ashley if she suspects something isn't right?  Would that be in character for Miranda.  (She did elude to this in ME3 by not sending Shepard any secret communications or visiting him.  She seems to want to play it safe... cautious.)

Miranda also says she is very good at gauging peoples motives and ambitions. In my story fic, Miranda knows Ashley would love nothing more than to arrest her. In this particular chapter, Shepard would also get captured and detained by the Alliance as well.  Is it possible for Ashley to have a change of heart at the last second letting them escape.  I have some ideas on this...   

[Seracen]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I have no idea what bioware team runs TOR, but they have the worst customer service system ever. my sister can't get onto her TOR account because she has a new laptop and the system keeps telling her it doesn't recognize the computer she's using and they sent her a one-time code to verify. but nothing has showed up in her email after over 20 minutes now... and when she tries to access the customer service forums, it tells her to log in... which she can't... because it won't send her the code... and when she goes to customer support, it asks her to log in... pattern much? something sketchy is going on here.

I've never seen anything this stupid from a customer service system. ever!

on the plus side? I guess it's pretty secure. it won't even let its owner log in. *shakes head*

Yeah, that's all on EA, unfortunately.  I agree that it leaves much to be desired.  I hear that if you aren't a paid subscription, the Mods don't even look at your ticket.

BTW, you should totally PM me your username, so I can add you to my buddies list!

Also, best of luck if she has the authenticator app, and lost access to it.  The hoops one must go through for that almost make it worth rolling a new account.

------------

As for Miri's names...

I could see Joker calling her "Miss Catwalk" but remember he was afraid of getting killed by her, lol.

Modifié par Seracen, 20 novembre 2013 - 07:30 .

[MrStoob]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

*takes off nekomimi and maids outfit*

*reflects a moment*

We did have a Miri 'good-natured' nickname session a little while back.  I went for 'Randy' (variation on Miranda), 'Roo' for her Aussie roots, but something more facetious...?  Hard to get past the fat arse gags.  Trying to come up with something more concise (humorous...) for 'Illusive Man's PA/Secretary', she'd no doubt hate that being implied.  They could call her 'The Administrator' in a facetious way to mock her officiousness?

I did like 'Randy' myself.  I just think it would grate on Miranda so bad.  I think it's because it doesn't really reflect anything about her but the name/word has obvious connotations.  And rather like myself, I'm a Stuart but I'd rather not be called 'Stu', I don't think she likes any variation other than 'Miri', and maybe only from Ori.  Lots of my own spin there but there you go.

There's my tuppence-worth anyway.

Modifié par MrStoob, 20 novembre 2013 - 11:03 .

[hot_heart]

enayasoul wrote...
I'd be happy to give you some feedback.  I love a good romance.  Is it going to be a really naughty scene?  Only teasing.

Maybe. And thanks for the offer. Biggest issue is word choice...but then that's writing, in a nutshell...

enayasoul wrote...
Would Miranda rather play it safe and avoid working with Ashley if she suspects something isn't right?  Would that be in character for Miranda.  (She did elude to this in ME3 by not sending Shepard any secret communications or visiting him.  She seems to want to play it safe... cautious.)

Could it be that Miranda anticipates what Ashley will do and has a 'contingency plan' in place? What if it only allows Miranda to escape but not Shepard? Or vice versa?
Otherwise, if letting them go, it could hinge on how much Ashley trusts Shepard despite Miranda's involvement.

p.s. Allude is the word you wanted. Though, elude would mean 'to escape'...

@Fatiguesdualism Not entirely sold on the Chorus options, personally. I don't think it sounds quite snappy enough.

[YurigirlzCrush]

Seracen wrote...

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I have no idea what bioware team runs TOR, but they have the worst customer service system ever. my sister can't get onto her TOR account because she has a new laptop and the system keeps telling her it doesn't recognize the computer she's using and they sent her a one-time code to verify. but nothing has showed up in her email after over 20 minutes now... and when she tries to access the customer service forums, it tells her to log in... which she can't... because it won't send her the code... and when she goes to customer support, it asks her to log in... pattern much? something sketchy is going on here.

I've never seen anything this stupid from a customer service system. ever!

on the plus side? I guess it's pretty secure. it won't even let its owner log in. *shakes head*

Yeah, that's all on EA, unfortunately.  I agree that it leaves much to be desired.  I hear that if you aren't a paid subscription, the Mods don't even look at your ticket.

BTW, you should totally PM me your username, so I can add you to my buddies list!

Also, best of luck if she has the authenticator app, and lost access to it.  The hoops one must go through for that almost make it worth rolling a new account.

I don't actually play myself anymore. I had a character for a while, but stopped playing around like... level 35 or so when we couldn't afford to subscribe anymore. the annoyances involved with not being a subscriber were too much.

my sister is livid though. without a subscription she only has access to the FAQ for help, and so she's locked out of her account and can't figure out how to fix it. she was ranting for like a half hour last night about how hard she worked to unlock all the purple schematics for her artifice skill (she literally unlocked all of them) and how much work she put in to buy all the unlocks on GTN and all that. the sad thing is, even with account-wide unlocks for artifact gear, extra crew skill slot, hide head slot, unify colors and like six others, it was still insanely annoying not to be a subscriber. *frowns*

as far as username though, I suppose if I ever decide to play again, I could pass it along. *smiles* only problem is that my laptop is nowhere near good enough to run the game. I used to play it on the family computer and that's a no-game zone now, mom's orders. she was a little mad that my sister deleted one of her programs to make room for another game. hence why my sister bought a new laptop, and hence all the issues she's having. *shrugs*

[Seracen]

Ah editing and more editing. Now all those "insert banter/fight scene here" notes are coming to bite me, haha.

Still, it's probably just as well. You don't want to write them when you aren't feeling it, and sometimes brevity is better, leading me to nix the scenes or shorten them.

The ending fights, and some of the dialogue, still need some TLC, but I'm getting there.

I was reminded of some earlier comments. I had a note to "write sex scene here" and just balked. I mean, the language and the foreplay was pretty risque WITHOUT me throwing a hardcore sequence into the mix.

Not that I haven't done so before in other fics, but I dunno, maybe it's better to leave it to the imagination. Perhaps I'll write a separate chapter chronicling all the glorious and physically impossible details, haha.

[hot_heart]

Seracen wrote...
I was reminded of some earlier comments. I had a note to "write sex scene here" and just balked. I mean, the language and the foreplay was pretty risque WITHOUT me throwing a hardcore sequence into the mix.

Not that I haven't done so before in other fics, but I dunno, maybe it's better to leave it to the imagination. Perhaps I'll write a separate chapter chronicling all the glorious and physically impossible details, haha.

Try writing it from the first-person perspective of the opposite gender.

[MrStoob]

I'm not a woman, I'm not asari, and I'm not a lesbian. I'm not touching that with a barge pole. hehe

[hot_heart]

Well, using a barge pole is a very bad start.

[enayasoul]

hot_heart wrote...

Could it be that Miranda anticipates what Ashley will do and has a 'contingency plan' in place? What if it only allows Miranda to escape but not Shepard? Or vice versa?
Otherwise, if letting them go, it could hinge on how much Ashley trusts Shepard despite Miranda's involvement.

Oh definitely! Miranda doesn't trust Ashley one bit.  And the fact is Ashley has already threatened to arrest Miranda once before. She should definitely have a back up plan.    I may have a solution... need to think more on this.  Thanks for the input. It really helps.  Makes sense. 

Yep.  Trust between Ashley and Shepard is also important... it will either push them further away or Ashley just accepts Shepard and the whole package. Hah.  (Makes me think of 'Dexter' Deb and Hannah's discussion about accepting the whole package.  Interesting!)

As to your comment about writing the romance scene from the first person, female perspective... Who initiates it? Shepard or Miranda. If the engineering scene is any indication, Miranda probably likes to be in control and on top? The third meeting on the citadel was also done well.

Do we write what we desire in romance scenes?     Truthfully. Yes.

Modifié par enayasoul, 21 novembre 2013 - 10:49 .

[hot_heart]

enayasoul wrote...
As to your comment about writing the romance scene from the first person, female perspective... Who initiates it? Shepard or Miranda. If the engineering scene is any indication, Miranda probably likes to be in control and on top? The third meeting on the citadel was also done well.

In this case, it's almost immediate post-Suicide Mission, so Miranda's in a conflicted state of mind, considering that she didn't wholly expect to survive and has now quite dramatically resigned from Cerberus. It's Shepard encouraging Miranda to relax and so he's actually initiating things this time.

Even though it's meant as Shepard 'taking control' while Miranda learns to surrender a little of it, I think the real problem is not making Miranda the one who's being 'acted upon' so much (god, that sounds dirty)...but knowing how to express things from her perspective is tricky. It's a fun challenge though and the idea was always to try something new, so we'll see...

That makes sense...right?

Modifié par hot_heart, 21 novembre 2013 - 11:18 .

[enayasoul]

hot_heart wrote...

enayasoul wrote...
As to your comment about writing the romance scene from the first person, female perspective... Who initiates it? Shepard or Miranda. If the engineering scene is any indication, Miranda probably likes to be in control and on top? The third meeting on the citadel was also done well.

In this case, it's almost immediate post-Suicide Mission, so Miranda's in a conflicted state of mind, considering that she didn't wholly expect to survive and has now quite dramatically resigned from Cerberus. It's Shepard encouraging Miranda to relax and so he's actually initiating things this time.

Even though it's meant as Shepard 'taking control' while Miranda learns to surrender a little of it, I think the real problem is not making Miranda the one who's being 'acted upon' so much (god, that sounds dirty)...but knowing how to express things from her perspective is tricky. It's a fun challenge though and the idea was always to try something new, so we'll see...

That makes sense...right?

Yes. It makes sense.  It also sounds very intriguing!  Looking forward to how you approach it.  

[ftkerns]

Argh! Because obviously all the problems life has been throwing at me over the last few months simply aren't enough, I was finally able to get around to writing up a post here, got five or six paragraphs into it, and then tried to insert a link. And the whole page sort of turned cloudy with the word "Link:" and a cancel button in the center...and nothing else. Clicking the cancel button does nothing. Pressing ESC does nothing. The page is just frozen.

So instead of retyping everything...nobody wants to read through a lot of ****ing about life, anyway...I'll just sum it up quickly. Life has been keeping me sidetracked even more than normally, over the last couple of months. And I mean, to an absolutely horrifying extent. To the point where I came very close to losing my car, my job (which finally landed after eight months of job-hunting), and my home.

As you might guess, I haven't been able to do much writing in the last couple months. It's been driving me nuts, but sometimes you just have to focus on surviving. Things look like they might finally be coming together...but for a long time I was sure I was more screwed than Caligula's favorite watermelon.

But in happier news, someone gave me an invite to AO3, and I've been posting some of my work there over the last few days. http://archiveofouro...tinal_Maelstrom

Finally got around to starting a series of audio blogs (well, for now they're audio only; I managed to find a dirt-cheap webcam and pay for part of it with a gift card) on Babylon 5. Since the 20th anniversary was this year, and it's my all-time favorite TV series, I thought I'd do one on each episode and see what happens. 

I'm hoping to do stuff like this for other shows, movies, games, and whatnot, kind of looking at them from a writing perspective.

Anyway...I've missed so much here. But to comment on some recent posts....

hot_heart wrote...
Gonna pose a question, sort of for my own research purposes, but also general discussion.
Obviously some of this will depend on your own playthrough circumstances, along with the ending, but what did you see some of the characters doing after the end of ME2? Some might be obvious, like Samara going back to Justicar duties, Legion returning to the geth (just drop him off at...uh...), but what about people like Jack, Tali or perhaps Thane? Do you think some were more eager to stay than others?

Things like this are among the reasons I've rejected ME3 completely and consider it nothing more than a bad dream. There were so many things I thought would happen...things that seemed like logical extensions from the end of ME2...but what we got wasn't even close. And so much of it didn't even make any sense...but anyway. Moving on.

Legion, I thought would stick around on the Normandy and continue to learn about organics and help Shepard & crew prepare to fight against the Reapers. That's how it'll play out in my own writing, and none of the ridiculous stuff that happened in ME3 will occur in Freelancers.

Tali, if she were exiled, would probably stay on the Normandy and do what she could to prepare for the Reapers. If exonerated, I thought she might be too angry with the quarian leadership to go straight back to the fleet. If she's a LI, she'd have other reasons for wanting to stick around.

I figured Garrus would stay on the Normandy, at least for a while, though at some point it seemed natural for him to start leading his own team again. Shep might nudge him in that direction as a way of getting back on the horse after losing his team on Omega.

Samara...I can see two possibilities. She could go back to her life as a justicar...or, maybe, now that she's finally done what she set out to do hundreds of years ago, she might take some time to reconsider her path. Maybe traveling with companions...possibly coming to consider some of them friends...just might have awakened a part of her that she forgot existed. A need to have people in her life. Not sure if she'd stay on the Normandy, but she might be hesitant to return to a life of solitude. Plus, there's the whole Reaper thing, which she'd probably want to help out with in some way.

Joker would continue piloting the Normandy. I don't see that changing at all. And EDI...well, her development was one of the only things in ME3 that I thought was done well. Especially her relationship with Joker. I like the idea of an AI...not exactly learning to become "human," but simply learning to live. And Joker overcoming his hostility to her early in ME2, then seeing her as a person instead of a "thing"...and finally beginning to have romantic feelings toward her. Seemed like kind of an obvious way for their relationship to go, but I also thought it was rather sweet.

Thane would either continue what he was doing before Shep recruited him, or maybe fight alongside Shep as a different way to make the galaxy a brighter place during whatever time he has left.

The Illusive Man would never become a mustache-twirling villain. I think Shep would've turned him into an asset. It would've been interesting to see their relationship do a complete reversal, with Shep beginning to pull TIM's strings instead of the other way around.

Liara would continue as the Shadow Broker, living on the previous Broker's confiscated ship (which is just too cool not to continue using), and would be a powerful ally against the Reapers.

Jack would likely take off somewhere and do her own thing, but would be there to help Shep fight the Reapers when the time came.

Miranda, I figure, would either stay resigned from Cerberus, or attempt to take control of it from TIM and try to turn it into an asset for Shepard, keeping its core purpose unchanged but drastically changing its approach to those goals--and throwing the whole "dominating the galaxy" thing out the window.

Kelly Chambers, I think, would stay on the Normandy, but would need a lot of therapy to help deal with what happened to her after the Collectors abducted her. And since she seemed to have a crush on Garrus, well, maybe that could eventually go somewhere.

Kenneth and Gabby would remain where they were, possibly with Tali continuing as their chief engineer.

And, when Shepard finally turns himself/herself in to stand trial, I can see the whole team standing by his/her side. And of course, Shep wouldn't just be sitting around for six months, but doing everything possible to prepare for the Reapers while the trial is going on.

Those are just a few from off the top of my head....

hot_heart wrote...
I'd actually be interested to see if anyone has written a story about an exiled Tali. Though I can't recall how long it was before the events of ME3 when the quarians recalled all their people; maybe it wasn't a significant period of time.

Since Freelancers is mostly original characters on a different ship, none of the games' main cast have appeared yet, though they'll probably start showing up within the next few chapters. I've been trying to decide whether Tali will be exiled or not in my story. Both possibilities are very interesting. I'm kinda-sorta leaning toward exiled, though, since it would put one more obstacle in her and Shepard's path toward convincing the Admiralty Board not to go to war with the geth and to begin working with everyone, geth included.

MrStoob wrote...
Upon reflection, perhaps Samara would possibly do a Garrus. She was certainly keen to return to Omega to give those streets a good clean.

Oops, I forgot about that. That's also a definite possibility.

Fatiguesdualism wrote...
"If you go to Zada Ban, you will die." Sound familiar, anyone?

Yes it does.

"Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"Kosh."
"Kosh who?"
"Gesundheit."
"...Were you like this when you were married?"
"Eh, yeah..."
"Your wife must've been a saint!"

XD

Fatiguesdualism wrote...
[Waits for the crickets to shut up]...Well, okay then. [Blows a little dust off the coffee pot] Since no-one else is here - I'm nabbing the chocolate digestives!
On a more relevant slant, has anyone got any good nick-names for Miranda? Something that's mildly derogatory -but not overly so (she is my story Shep's LI after all)- and Joker friendly (ie sounds like something he would say). I'm currently going with 'Ice Queen' but it doesn't feel right, see below (also spoiler alert for any one reading my stuff):

Heheheh...well, the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Captain Camel-toe." Might be a bit much, but it does strike me as something Joker would say.

Well, I need to post this and start getting ready for work. Ah, the thrills of minimum wage. I'm hoping it won't be another several months before my next post....

Modifié par ftkerns, 22 novembre 2013 - 10:38 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

hmm. I don't have a save during the Citadel DLC at the moment, so I have to ask... from the window of the apartment, is the view facing toward the presidium ring or out toward space? or neither? amazingly enough, the answer is sort of important for what i'm trying to write at present. *frowns* does anyone know? or does anyone have a save they can load up to check?

[hot_heart]

I don't think you can really tell. As far as I can recall, you can just see lots of neon signs and shuttles going past.
The only easily accessible source with some views out the window (towards the second half and right at the end) is this *ahem*

EDIT: Ah, more here from a related video.

Modifié par hot_heart, 23 novembre 2013 - 12:41 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

who is the sketchy guy in that first video? and why does Miranda keep calling him Shepard? everyone knows that Shepard is female because females are superior and no one else could save the galaxy, and that no male Shepard actually exists! *smiles sweetly*

p.s. thanks for the videos. I just wish I had a save at the right space. I'd love to specifically look out of those windows and see if any glimpses of anything can be seen through them.

[Seracen]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

who is the sketchy guy in that first video? and why does Miranda keep calling him Shepard? everyone knows that Shepard is female because females are superior and no one else could save the galaxy, and that no male Shepard actually exists! *smiles sweetly*

p.s. thanks for the videos. I just wish I had a save at the right space. I'd love to specifically look out of those windows and see if any glimpses of anything can be seen through them.

Oh come on, Garr-bear is TOTALLY capable of saving the universe too...

How can you say "no" to this cute face?



You're gonna make him cry...do you want that on your conscience? 

EDIT: OMG I have to post this too...



Back on track...I am usually willing to suspend my nitpicking for the sake of the story.  For instance, I wrote Shep's apartment on the Citadel before the DLC came out.  However, I felt little need to change it, though it was easy enough with a single line or two.

At any rate, it's all headcanon once we've gotten to fanfic.  So long as the spirit is intact, I can usually roll with it.  Otherwise, I'd still be debating whether to have more Ardat Yakshi than Falere present in the ME universe.  As it's somewhat of a plot point for me, I have no problem adding more, even if ME2 and ME3 can't agree on that point.

Progress continues...DUN DUN DUN!!!

Modifié par Seracen, 23 novembre 2013 - 02:19 .

[enayasoul]

When my shepard was outside of the apartment, if you look up you can see fireworks. How weird is that?   Also, you can see white dots. I assume they are stars above/outerspace.  So, outer space would be above Shepard's apartment.  Hope that helps.

The window you look out from the apartment is like an alley way (overlooking the strip) with flying cars which seems weird when you go outside and look at up.  You can see just how far up Shepard's apartment must be.  Six levels up from the floor level of the silver strip, I gather. 

Is Shepard's apartment on the ward itself?  If so, which ward? 

Modifié par enayasoul, 23 novembre 2013 - 12:29 .

[MrStoob]

I always assumed the window overlooked the strip itself. Can't say I've really stood looking out, considering the lilies though...

una momento...

Edit: Hm, you can see signage for the casino and the arena in the correct locations I think.  So the apartment window overlooks from reasonanbly high above the strip (there's walkways about a storey below the window and you can't quite see the strip 'ground level'), facing the casino, which sorta makes sense if you think about the walk to the apartment.

I've a save for every occasion! :happy:  Helps a lot with the 'Name that Butt' thread...

Modifié par MrStoob, 23 novembre 2013 - 12:25 .