9962 réponses à ce sujet

[Ignis Mors]

 Yay, the editor is back! Though, it did take a bit longer than expected for the text to load back in. 

[YurigirlzCrush]

fluffywalrus wrote...

That said, I'll admit freely that I hate when people say something is "overly PC/politically correct", because as a member of a marginalized community, I've had people verbally abuse me, dismiss my arguments and opinions, etc, and whenever I complain, I'm ignored or the abuse persists and I'm told to stop whining. And whenever someone other than me, someone not in a marginalized community brings up the issue, and requests changes to people's behaviour, it's suddenly 'forcing' people to be more "PC".
IMO you either have respect or you don't. If I use ableist language and am called out on it, and the complaint is legitimate, I apologize and change it, because it's no skin off my teeth and I should know better. And any writer who encounters such a situation and holds off on making such changes because to do so would be "too PC", or that it's "not that big a deal"? They're disrespectful sh!ts.

I can agree with some of your sentiments here. while acceptance for the LGBT community has improved drastically since I was born, anyone who thinks I don't get picked on, degraded, bullied or otherwise abused (psychologically or verbally) because of my sexual orientation would be dead wrong. although I will admit that since graduating high school, the majority of sketchy incidents have stopped. high school was awful. however, I do count myself lucky that I live in today's society and not, say, 20 or 30 years ago. *shudders* that is one thing I always remind myself to be thankful for when I feel i'm being judged unfairly.

I fall a bit on the fence in terms of the PC issue. I tend to use terms like mail carrier instead of mailman (even if it's actually a man i'm referring to), sanitation worker instead of garbage man, and more creative (and made-up) words when writing, I've discovered, like... swordsperson (instead of swordsman). of course, that last one I would change to swordsman or swordswoman in editing, but I was amused to note that in the process of just writing, swordsperson is what came out. however, with all that said, I don't get particularly offended when the people around me are not very PC. I've learned to just deal with some of it (even the rampant use of the word gay as an expression of distaste for a situation/person/object/occurrence... such as "what? I can't bring my coffee in? that's gay") I know it really gets under the skin of some of the other LGBT peeps I know, but I generally just roll my eyes and think... whatever. probably because I hear it a lot. it's very common in my neighborhood and even among my friends.

fluffywalrus wrote...

So just like MS word underlines words like ableist, heteronormativity, cissexist and transphobia, for instance, and considers them spelling errors or non-words, I know better and just ignore the squiggly red line,

after the last few months of writing, just because that red squiggle bothers me, I have added a whole bunch of new words to the dictionary of my office program. it is now acquainted with words like Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Liara, Mordin, omnitool, eezo, Thessia, Palavan, Rannoch, keelah se'lai, bosh'tet, geth and probably a good hundred others.

fluffywalrus wrote...

And sorry for ranting. been on reddit all morning and have had to deal with some ****s who think it's morally proper to treat people like me as subhumans. So some of my ire has likely transferred to this post, but the moral is that if you can't have enough respect or empathy for someone to make a minor, harmless change in your word selection of all things, there's something wrong with you.

i'm sorry you had such a lousy day on reddit. I really don't think the esteemed Mr Stoob meant to offend anyone with that comment. I would agree with the first part of what he said, about the word crippled being flagged just to highlight it for possible rewording on the basis of political correctness. maybe the followup statement was less than delicate, but I don't think any offense was intended. *smiles* of course neither do I judge you for becoming a little offended over the issue, because as you said, people like us have to deal with being called overly sensitive when something like this gets under our skin. been there. I understand completely. *hugs*

I just want to add that it's always a pleasure to see the amazing fluffy drop in to contribute! *grins* even if it's to take people to task!

and finally... just in case I don't have anything meaningful to add to the thread in the next few days, I will take this opportunity to be the first to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving! even if you're not celebrating the holiday (isn't thanksgiving like... last month in Canada?) *ponders*

[fluffywalrus]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

I can agree with some of your sentiments here. while acceptance for the LGBT community has improved drastically since I was born, anyone who thinks I don't get picked on, degraded, bullied or otherwise abused (psychologically or verbally) because of my sexual orientation would be dead wrong. although I will admit that since graduating high school, the majority of sketchy incidents have stopped. high school was awful. however, I do count myself lucky that I live in today's society and not, say, 20 or 30 years ago. *shudders* that is one thing I always remind myself to be thankful for when I feel i'm being judged unfairly.

I fall a bit on the fence in terms of the PC issue. I tend to use terms like mail carrier instead of mailman (even if it's actually a man i'm referring to), sanitation worker instead of garbage man, and more creative (and made-up) words when writing, I've discovered, like... swordsperson (instead of swordsman). of course, that last one I would change to swordsman or swordswoman in editing, but I was amused to note that in the process of just writing, swordsperson is what came out. however, with all that said, I don't get particularly offended when the people around me are not very PC. I've learned to just deal with some of it (even the rampant use of the word gay as an expression of distaste for a situation/person/object/occurrence... such as "what? I can't bring my coffee in? that's gay") I know it really gets under the skin of some of the other LGBT peeps I know, but I generally just roll my eyes and think... whatever. probably because I hear it a lot. it's very common in my neighborhood and even among my friends.

===

after the last few months of writing, just because that red squiggle bothers me, I have added a whole bunch of new words to the dictionary of my office program. it is now acquainted with words like Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Liara, Mordin, omnitool, eezo, Thessia, Palavan, Rannoch, keelah se'lai, bosh'tet, geth and probably a good hundred others.

===

i'm sorry you had such a lousy day on reddit. I really don't think the esteemed Mr Stoob meant to offend anyone with that comment. I would agree with the first part of what he said, about the word crippled being flagged just to highlight it for possible rewording on the basis of political correctness. maybe the followup statement was less than delicate, but I don't think any offense was intended. *smiles* of course neither do I judge you for becoming a little offended over the issue, because as you said, people like us have to deal with being called overly sensitive when something like this gets under our skin. been there. I understand completely. *hugs*

I just want to add that it's always a pleasure to see the amazing fluffy drop in to contribute! *grins* even if it's to take people to task!

and finally... just in case I don't have anything meaningful to add to the thread in the next few days, I will take this opportunity to be the first to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving! even if you're not celebrating the holiday (isn't thanksgiving like... last month in Canada?) *ponders*

Haha, yeah, Thanksgiving was mid-october here in Canada

I wasn't offended or anything by Stoob (really, guy...I just happened to spot one of my pet peeves and I kind of went on a semi-related tangent, and venting my prior mostly unrelated frustration). I just generally dislike the discourse around political correctness. Mostly because 'politically correct/PC" is deemed pejorative, while 'political incorrectness' is generally celebrated. And you know, in some way, I would be okay with that if people actually understood what both terms meant. Most don't, however.

When someone says something is PC, they generally mean it's over the top and unnecessary, sometimes they think it's just for political reasons (instead of honest, personal ones). Now, as someone who cares deeply about injustice and social dynamics, it kind of gets me on edge when someone brings up PC-ness, because it's almost always someone who has no relation to whatever demographic or group that's being referenced, and it's almost always someone with unchecked privilege (yes I use that term, yes I know exactly ehat it means, no it's not a joke like some faux-SJWs throw around). Like able-bodied folk talking about accessibility issues and proposals, cis hetero bros griping about being called out for using gender or sexuality-based slurs...hell, gay men using slurs specific to the LGBTQ communities, AGAINST members of those communities.

In my personal experience, people toss out the PC term when they get uncomfortable with the idea that maybe they've been a jerk, and don't want to own up to it. Afterall, we have enough evidence of that with the whole white guilt thing, what whith white people getting defensive and pitying themselves instead of just letting themselves be aware of (and making decisions according to their awareness of) colonialism. People feel guilty about doing bad crap, and they get defensive when people call them out on it, or when they feel like they can be called out on it.
And on the flip side, there are people who literally don't care, and have no general respect for marginalized groups, and who claim things are PC just to prop up their idea of what's "right" in culture and society, basking in championed "political incorrectness" like many members of the right-wing republican party do down in USA.

So yeah...PC? Lots of crap swirling around that term, and it's often just used to dismiss the issues that certain groups may face, which is why I stated that in this case, it was probably someone who decided to flag that word in case it could potentially help, instead of leaving it unflagged and allowing someone to use the word in a potentially demeaning way without input from the website. I can see how to some, it could be confusing for it to come up as flagged, but it's not an inconvenience, it's not anything worth complaining over or making broad assumptions about someone's PCness or idiocy. A word that's potentially harmful was flagged, and if anyone really feels like spending the energy to challenge the merit of that, then whatever. I mean, I deal with a lot of people in my life (some of them friends) who don't think words can cause harm, often using the whole "Words can't hurt you unless you let them" crap, which in my experience is spouted off primarily by spoiled cis white folk (usually men), who have never had to trudge through their life being told that their existence was sinful, wrong, freakish, etc., and who never had to deal with every single bit of media representation of anyone resembling them being incredibly negative.

So I just wanted to stand up and say that hey, don't worry about that word being flagged, it's an non issue. Are you using that word in a bad way? No? Carry on. No one'ss prescribing a negative label to you just because a word you used was flagged. Cops pull innocent people over on routine stops to check if they've been drinking for instance...if you haven't been drinking, no need to worry or feel guilty. Same goes here.

I mean...I grew up on 4chan. I've been called all the most horrendous crap in the history of language, and I'm pretty desensitized to it. I still have some triggers (such as speaking slurs in my household, or a set of specific slurs while in my presence, or bringing up certain historical events or issues and framing them in a horrendously disgusting way), but I let a lot of things slide because I understand intent and context. And sometimes, after spending hours educating people throughout a day, I can just get too tired to keep going. But sometimes people get on my nerves about things they have no knowledge of, and when I see those people making big, national or province/state-wide impact with their false beliefs, I can get annoyed. And when I see people championing certain idiologies and types of reparative therapy that led to people I know and am friends with getting things like lobotomies, I can get a little upset. Ignorance is the greatest threat to most marginalized communities, because it allows for harmful social stereotypes and stigmas to grow and overwrite people's lived experiences and identities, and those act as barriers to keep people from understanding members of these marginal communities. And it leads to people thowing the PC term around as a reason to not think critically about issues, and to just accept that something is right/wrong//good/bad/etc. and it's usually the social norms and popular cultural artifacts and ways of life that are deemed good, and those less visible are deemed bad.

So yeah. /explanationy-rant. if you can't tell already, I could go on forever about this stuff.  But I won't, because it's not the place.

tl;dr: Stoob, I wasn't offended by you, but instead just saw an opportunity to point some things out and make a case for the notion that the flagging of that word was warranted and positive. And I explained this with social justice-related ramblings

[MrStoob]

As someone 'brung up proper' with regard to social justice and equality, I have difficulty when something as innocuous as an innocent children's rhyme has been usurped for political ends, where there was no implications of prejudice, and implying I'm somehow prejudice for not agreeing. Bollocks. Not directed at you, BTW, Fluffy, just the PC brigade in general as they very misguided at times, in my opinion, doing as much harm as good. "Will nobody think of the children!"

[MrStoob]

...and back on a writing note. I've penned a series of Miranda's journal entries during the ME2 campaign, but hit a possible technical snag. At the end of each chapter (entry), I have the line:

<entry deleted>

because I don't think Miranda would leave those kinds of internal thoughts lying around. However, due to what we see in the SB ship, would she even risk writing then deleting? I suppose I could space magic some Miranda-made personal security protection... hmm.

Edit: but there's no narrative in the piece, so she'd have to bring it up in an entry.  Hmm, again.

Modifié par MrStoob, 28 novembre 2013 - 12:49 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

@stoob: is there no narrative at all? not even a paragraph at the beginning to set up the journal entries? if it's journal entries and nothing else, i'd say go with it. if there's a brief setup, you could just have her keeping it on a datapad or something that is not connected to any outside systems.


and a question:

is it okay to ask lore questions about non ME games here? because I don't really wanna go ask dumb questions in a forum without all my fellow writers! *smiles* but if asking non-ME questions is bad, let me know and I won't do it again.

so anyway... I've been inspired by another story idea (I really need to stop bouncing around and pick one) and I found myself wondering...

how long before the start of Dragon Age: Origins did Leliana go to the Chantry in Lothering? Did they ever say? was it two years? four? eight? sixty-two? (she looks amazing for her age if it was sixty-two! *grins*) does anyone know?

[Seracen]

YurigirlzCrush wrote...

@stoob: is there no narrative at all? not even a paragraph at the beginning to set up the journal entries? if it's journal entries and nothing else, i'd say go with it. if there's a brief setup, you could just have her keeping it on a datapad or something that is not connected to any outside systems.


and a question:

is it okay to ask lore questions about non ME games here? because I don't really wanna go ask dumb questions in a forum without all my fellow writers! *smiles* but if asking non-ME questions is bad, let me know and I won't do it again.

so anyway... I've been inspired by another story idea (I really need to stop bouncing around and pick one) and I found myself wondering...

how long before the start of Dragon Age: Origins did Leliana go to the Chantry in Lothering? Did they ever say? was it two years? four? eight? sixty-two? (she looks amazing for her age if it was sixty-two! *grins*) does anyone know?

I have no problems with off topic discussions, and we have enough of them here.  So long as the conversation remains fun, and we still are open to discussion of our writing as well, I feel like anything goes.

Of course, that is just me, speaking as a "Page 1 Veteran"  !

As for Leliana, I can't remember how long she was around.  However, she sought asylum from Orlais by become a member of the Chantry.  Yet she didn't stay long enough to have certain demands of the cloister made of her.  So, I'd estimate anywhere from 6 months to 2 years.  It takes time to disappear, especially considering her notoriety at the time.

If it were me, I'd set up the scene by having Leliana say something along the lines of: "has it been months? years?  I can no longer remember, my past life seems so long ago, and the days seem to run together."

@ Stoob: I could see Miranda needing to write the log, simply to have get it off her chest.  There's something therapeutic about keeping a journal, I here, even if you end up burning it.

IIRC, Lair of the Shadow Broker had similar setups for a few of the codex data entries for various characters, including Miranda, Jack, and Liara.

Modifié par Seracen, 28 novembre 2013 - 03:23 .

[hot_heart]

I concur with YC and Seracen. It's a nice idea, because it is good therapeutically (I could see a younger Miranda, when with her father, doing the same) and she would just use an unconnected datapad that can be destroyed easily or set to delete daily or weekly/if breached, etc.

Interesting to see how a written entry might differ to general narration. Never really considered that before, actually.

[MrStoob]

It's sorta 'in situ', she suggests it's not the first time she's written in a journal but I'm dropping in at ME2 and the journal is written to someone in particular, like a diary. I'm trying not to make her too 'rod up her ass' as she's not really writing as Cerberus Operative Miranda Lawson, but you know Miranda. hehe

[hot_heart]

If it's a journal rather than narration, perhaps if she's writing it either as a 'report' with her own off-the-record comments or a sort of 'explanation' with Oriana in mind, even if the intention never was for her to read it?

[Fatiguesdualism]

@MrStoob - I think the journal/diary idea is fine, even as you say Miranda deletes the entry at the end of each chapter. Although if you want to be creepy about it you maybe could have someone else 'reading' each entry (TIM/SB/SBLiara/etc or even EDI?) - despite Miranda's precautions. No-one's infallible after all!

[MrStoob]

Fatiguesdualism wrote...

@MrStoob - I think the journal/diary idea is fine, even as you say Miranda deletes the entry at the end of each chapter. Although if you want to be creepy about it you maybe could have someone else 'reading' each entry (TIM/SB/SBLiara/etc or even EDI?) - despite Miranda's precautions. No-one's infallible after all!

That's what I initially outlined, but it makes the whole thing cut short if that happens.  Despite the dossiers in the SB ship, I just can't see Liara reading those if she found them among the SB's records, as I'd originally thought.  These are things I've considered, such as EDI being able to read over her shoulder at the majority of locations and probably wireless ability to get into any tech.  Depends on TIM's implicit instructions to EDI, I suppose, whether he told her to spy or not, at least before she's free.

I think in the end, I decided it was about Miranda and her thoughts on what's going on, rather than a tale of intrigue/action/etc.

I've chucked the first few chapts up.  As they're journal/diary type entries, they're not so long.
http://archiveofouro...hapters/2129214

Modifié par MrStoob, 28 novembre 2013 - 03:20 .

[enayasoul]

MrStoob wrote...

Fatiguesdualism wrote...

@MrStoob - I think the journal/diary idea is fine, even as you say Miranda deletes the entry at the end of each chapter. Although if you want to be creepy about it you maybe could have someone else 'reading' each entry (TIM/SB/SBLiara/etc or even EDI?) - despite Miranda's precautions. No-one's infallible after all!

That's what I initially outlined, but it makes the whole thing cut short if that happens.  Despite the dossiers in the SB ship, I just can't see Liara reading those if she found them among the SB's records, as I'd originally thought.  These are things I've considered, such as EDI being able to read over her shoulder at the majority of locations and probably wireless ability to get into any tech.  Depends on TIM's implicit instructions to EDI, I suppose, whether he told her to spy or not, at least before she's free.

I think in the end, I decided it was about Miranda and her thoughts on what's going on, rather than a tale of intrigue/action/etc.

I've chucked the first few chapts up.  As they're journal/diary type entries, they're not so long.
http://archiveofouro...hapters/2129214

I enjoyed reading them.    Keep going!

[hot_heart]

*cough*LazArus*cough*

[MrStoob]

hot_heart wrote...

*cough*LazArus*cough*

D'oh, and Ta.

I mean, *ahem* I don't know what you mean, it says 'Lazarus'... (well it does now...) 

Modifié par MrStoob, 28 novembre 2013 - 07:54 .

[BronzTrooper]

Can anyone help me come up with a name for a ME/Star Wars crossover fanfic?

It takes place starting from the begining of the beam run in ME and transfers over to the Star Wars universe where it takes place after the Legacy of the Force book series.

(If you haven't read the Legacy of the Force books, I suggest you do. They're really good.)

[MrStoob]

Mass Effect's Disney Adventure?

Sorry...

Modifié par MrStoob, 29 novembre 2013 - 11:56 .

[BronzTrooper]

MrStoob wrote...

Mass Effect's Disney Adventure?

Sorry...

Don't be.  I thought it was funny, lol.

Seriously though, any suggestions?

[YurigirlzCrush]

@Gamer: well, I couldn't offer any suggestions without a synopsis of the story. I think titles should fit the themes of the story in some way... or perhaps the primary characters or their traits. so without some idea of what the story is about... (did the Empire build the reapers or something? is the Starchild a manifestation of the Force? Is Shepard fated to be the last Jedi Knight?, etc.) I apologize for being useless there. *pout*

but, a question!

I have two possible ways I can begin my latest story (the Dragon Age one). I have (very) rough drafts of both written, and I intend to use all of said material eventually, but i'm not sure which one would make the best prologue...

basically, one is the three focus characters' first meeting (the recruitment mission for one of them)... a fair bit of it is dialogue taken from the game itself, tweaked, supplemented, and cleaned up to form a nice narrative... or it will be nice after I edit it, anyway. it was how I originally intended to start the story.

the other option is a pair of scenes from a full year earlier, setting up the thoughts/feelings of the characters in question by highlighting certain relationships in their pasts. I was originally going to use those two scenes as like... flashbacks or dream sequences, but I started thinking they might make for a better prologue so readers have a vague idea of where things stand for those two characters at the start.

here's the problem. *sigh*

if I start with the recruitment bit, i'm worried that readers might get the impression that I intend to regurgitate the game verbatim (when that's soooooo far from my intention, since the story will mostly highlight downtime between missions, with a few of the major scenes from the game thrown in). because so much of it is taken from the game (and sort of unavoidably so since it's their first meeting) I could see it giving that impression.

if I use the two other scenes, I'm afraid I might give the wrong impression of the direction of the story from the start, since it would essentially be pointing out two would-be relationships that never actually happened. they're important because the loss of those relationships kind of form the heart of the issues for those two characters over the course of my story, but it's still essentially starting with... hey, these two characters were in love once... and here's why it didn't work out.

*sigh* not really sure which is the better option. I intend to throw little snippets of dialogue from the game into my writing (such as bits of party banter or certain important scenes) but not so much of it will be highly recognizable from the games beyond like the first four sections (currently the prologue and chapter 1) that cover the recruitment quest. most of my story will be original writing (not OCs, but original situations/conversations), I don't want to give the first impression that I'm retelling the game. I'm so not. but again, option two is about relationships that didn't happen, so i'm not sure that's better.

i'd really love to hear thoughts.

[MrStoob]

The 'recruit' chapter sounds like the option for setting up characters ("Getting to know youuuu!", etc), but I get what you mean about it possibly seeming like you're doing a scene by scene. IMO, it's hard not to include such scenes in FF, as they might be pivotal to your personal thread. As you say, it's got your own slant on it too so isn't just verbatim.

2 cents.


SW Title:

Mass Effect: Darker Forces

Modifié par MrStoob, 30 novembre 2013 - 11:09 .

[Fatiguesdualism]

@YurigirlzCrush - I'd go with your original intention and start with the recruitment. As MrStoob notes it 'sets up the characters' for you, your readers can get an idea of how you see them - and OK it may seem a bit scene by scene at the outset - but at least it is a common starting point; the 'otherness' will come along a bit later, maybe you could drop a hint or two at the end of the introductions? If you're really worried maybe use an A/N to explain - not that I think you need to from what you've said here!

Joking SW/ME Titles (the serious ones are in the next paragraph)
Mass Effect: Who Doesn't Love Ewoks?
Mass Effect: Revenge of the Cerberus
Mass Effect: Kai Leng - Sith Wannabe No More
Mass Effect: Skywalker, Solo & Shepard (that one sounded much cooler in my head!)

More seriously...
Mass Effect: Clash of Galaxies
Mass Effect: A Second Chance
Mass Effect: Mysteries of the Force (actually that one sounds overly familiar)
so...
Star Wars: Reverberation of the Reapers
Without knowing anymore about your story, Gamer072196, that's all I have!

p.s. Yes I suck at titles - I mean I lumbered myself with 'Stuck In the Middle' which is a great song but as a ME story title? 

Modifié par Fatiguesdualism, 30 novembre 2013 - 01:26 .

[hot_heart]

Fatiguesdualism wrote...
p.s. Yes I suck at titles - I mean I lumbered myself with 'Stuck In the Middle' which is a great song but as a ME story title? 

"EDI's to the left of me, Joker's to the right. Here I am, stuck inside Mass Effect 2."

Couldn't be as bad as my title. Based on an Idlewild song (The Space Between All Things) but tweaked to give it a more active voice.

[MrStoob]

Fatiguesdualism wrote...

Mass Effect: Mysteries of the Force (actually that one sounds overly familiar)

There was 'Mysteries of the Sith', the title following Dark Forces: Jedi Knight.

Modifié par MrStoob, 30 novembre 2013 - 04:26 .

[YurigirlzCrush]

thanks for the input peeps! *grins* I guess i'll just go with what I originally intended, and maybe include an author's note at the end of the prologue to assure readers that it won't be a retelling of the game.

plus, part of me wonders if it will be odd since i'm jumping into a recruitment quest a fair bit into the game to start things off (I have to, since I don't want to retell 10+ hours of gameplay just to get to where the characters my story focuses on will meet). but hopefully it will all work out in the end.

totally unrelated question: how many liberties do you think you can take with a story before it's best to indicate that it's AU in the title somewhere. in my head, the only thing non-canon about my story is the pairing I focus on, and I intend to put a few twists on events that took place in the game to smooth certain events out a bit, but nothing major will change. do you have to make major changes to the established storyline before it's best to call it AU? or does almost everything need to remain true to the established events from the games to be safe?

[AustereLemur799]

Apologies for dropping in.

I've been down on myself; I couldn't sustain my initial effort - I shouldn't have even tried my hand at publishing in the first place. Inevitably my Social Anxiety Disorder got in the way, but my psychologist tells me to stick with it - it's the only positive thing I have to my name if I die tomorrow.

And that's the thing. I don't know what you guys think; if you consider making some kind of mark on the world.

Personally I'd feel better if my mark was never known. But that's not why I decided to gate-crash (apologies, once again - I know I promised to stay away!).

A few days ago I ventured onto the ME wiki because I needed to check something related to what I was writing. And I realised that I've been out of the loop for a long time. Trust Mac Walters to once again rock the boat (I refer to his series starting as far back as August, and I only just saw it now!).

It just so happens that he published a certain volume about Wrex, Fist and the Shadow Broker - all of which I was meant to cover in my latest chapter. Was I simply being lazy, delaying publishing for these last five months? Or was I supposed to wait for Walters, and integrate his visions into my work?

I don't know. At first I was really disheartened - ready to give up and delete everything (it's not like I'm even contributing anything). But then I realised (or maybe just hoped) that there was a reason why I delayed for as long as I did... Maybe I can work with this new development. It blows my current story out of the water, but as long as I haven't published; I can change things, right?

I guess I'm just waiting for a verdict - for someone to tell me to either carry on or just stop altogether. I'm not sure what I feel anymore. I wish that I'd never even started. It's a project I could never see through - just like everything else in my life.

Once I started, it weighs on me. I can't even sleep at night because I worry about this can of worms that I opened. I shouldn't have even ventured there. Better to go though life and end it without any loose ends.

Apologies for my ramblings . Good to see that everyone's getting ahead on here. Shout out to 'hold the line' website. Good on you all . If nothing else, I'm glad to take that with me .

All the best to you guys!